Update 3/2016: Still alive. Send ice cream. (Actually, I'm writing more real stuff, like original fiction stuff, so writing is good, and I even occasionally update my writing blog and my tumblr but have sworn off Facebook for the time being. So. That's me these days. Um. How're you?)

Update, 1/2013: Without Alice, a Wonderland-based novel about saving the world, running from a lovestruck Death, and how turnips are actually evil, recently got a revamp, a gorgeous new cover, and a release in paperback and Kindle format. I also started the Unboxed Project II: Project ThreeSixFiveK, in which I force myself to write a thousand words each and every day of 2013. Expect a rise in updates, for this reason.

Update, 08/2012: Tendence and Cavile, a sci-fi comedy novel about a time-traveling kitchen chair from Leeftail Press, was released just last month and is now available both in paperback and for download from Kindle. Don't recognize the author? Yeah, I love pseudonyms. It's really me. Give it a shot, won't you?

Update, 02/2012: My Unboxed Project LJ is slightly revamped as an updating venue for my original fic; the profile page has a list of what's out there in print. Hopefully it will continue growing! For everything else, there's Mastercard. Wait. No. There's my fandom/miscellaneous journal, currently run by my crush on the entire cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000/Cinematic Titanic. Yes, even Mary Jo. Shut up.

Update as of 11/11: Yeah, I know, I'm writing phanfic again. It happens. Quite often, apparently. One can blame Phantom's 25th Anniversary for this, as well as my sudden discovery that I actually quite like Christine when Sierra Boggess is playing her. (We shall not speak of Ramin Karimloo. Not right this second, anyway. Did I tell you the story where he came after me with the banjo in the restaurant? Noodles everywhere.) Anyway, in the acute depths of nostalgia, I put up The People's Republic of New Papen for those of you who miss the old phandom days. Feel free to stop by and spam.

Update as of 2011: The current project going on in RL is the Unboxed Project which will run through to the end of January 2012. I'm giving up TV, movies, and video of all kinds for a whole year, and blogging about what I do with the time formerly given to watching Spaced and Star Wars for hours at a time. Feel free to check it out, and either cheer me on or run me down for being a pretentious, holier-than-thou turnip. Either way, there's almost certain to be considerably more fanfiction postage from me in the coming year, what with all this time I'll have on my hands and all.

Actual bio coming soon! Watch this space...

(Okay, so I lied about that bit. I will in all likelihood never actually write a bio for my bio page. "Bio" becomes "BO" if you take away the I, you know, and since I try to keep myself out of the equation, I probably would. Or if you add an "R" in the correct spot it will be "biro" which is a pen. I like pens. I steal them from people when they're not looking, and anytime I clean out my car or any of my numerous bags it appears that pens have been breeding wildly in the depths. Nothing has a good healthy sex life like a pen. Well, other than a rabbit, but I wouldn't keep rabbits. They're a lot harder to steal. Even if people aren't looking.)

(Oh, and feel free to friend me on LJ, where you will find me as, surprise surprise, randombattlecry. ((Are you surprised? I know I was.)))

Writing comes easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank page till your forehead bleeds.

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