"Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you are going to get."

Is it? I mean, I would have thought you would get, you know, a chocolate.

Maybe we should fix that statement.

"Life is like a box of chocolates: you should know what you are going to get, but, for some stupid reason, you don't."

Still, that isn't really true, don't you think? Let's try again:

"Life is like a box full of liquor filled chocolates: no matter what you get, you are going to get drunk if you eat too many."

Ugh, not quite yet... But how about this?

"Life is like something someone told you was a box of chocolates: it probably isn't, and chances are that you will get anything but a chocolate."

Yup, that's more like it.