PROFILE UPDATED JAN 30, 2018

Hi. If you're reading this, I have no way of knowing if you've read my stories before or if this is your first time here. What I have to say can apply to both groups, though.

It's not hard to notice that I haven't really written anything in a while. Like, a long while. There's a reason for that. A few years ago - close to four years ago, now - I got hit with depression pretty badly. It sort of came out of nowhere, and I've been clawing my way out of it ever since. I'm making progress and on the whole I do feel better, but it's a non-linear process and there have been setbacks, even if my overall path has been trending upward.

For those of you fortunate enough to have never dealt with such a thing, I cannot overstate how mentally and emotionally debilitating it is. Forget things I was passionate about before, there were days when I couldn't muster the energy or desire to eat breakfast, even when I knew I was hungry. I'm already a procrastinator by nature, so without any real will or drive to write in the first place, there was little hope of forcing myself to do it - though I did try once or twice.

I say this because I feel like I've reached a point where I might be ready to try again. It's not that I suddenly want to write again, but that I want to want to write. That's more than I've been able to say for a long time, and I'm considering it a good sign. I'm hoping that if I can get back into the habit, I'll start enjoying it again and then I won't have to make myself do it anymore, because I'll just be doing it.

That being said, I'm going to have to take it easy on myself. What I mean by that is that I'm going to let myself go wherever my fancy strikes me, instead of trying to maintain focus on one or two projects at a time. This is hardly ideal for anyone wanting to read what I've written, since it means I could be posting all kinds of different things instead of updating that one story you want to read, but at this point it's that or nothing at all. I hope that with time, I'll be able to bring back a little discipline too, but one step at a time.

I'm almost out of this hole, you guys. I can feel it. It's taken me nearly four years, but I think I might be on the verge of feeling like myself again. We'll see how things go.

And for anyone who has been around for a long time and has all but given up on my stories, know that I want them finished as much as you do. Perhaps even more so. It just might be a while before that means the same thing as wanting to finish them. But I'll get there. Eventually.