If you wanna Tumble with me, you'll find me at . Come yell about Bucky Barnes, Stiles Stilinski, Harry Potter and Merlin (yes, still) with me if you want.

I'm also on AO3, and all fics are being cross-posted there from now on. /users/Bundibird/pseuds/Bundibird.

An Update:

So. I've been somewhat absent in regards to ficwriting recently. I feel like I owe you guys more than some glib "Shit happened and I lost my writing mojo" explanation, but if you want the short version, well - shit happened and I lost my writing mojo.

If you want the longer version, however, it goes like this: 18-straight months of persistent stress; the looming threat of losing our family home and having nowhere to live; ground that kept crumbling under my feet just when I thought I was on a stable footing again; the loss of most of my (beloved) extended family because apparently money is more important to them; and my having to buy a house I wasn't sure I could afford to keep on my rubbish wage just to keep a roof over our heads all made for a rather... non-creative environment. After I made it out the other side of the whole thing, it took me a few months to realise that the all-consuming lethargy, the lack of interest in anything outside of what my next meal would be, the sheer inability to write anything, the random uncontrollable crying jags triggered by everything and nothing, and the lack of emotional flexibility to deal with things as minor as my favourite song being turned down was probably depression.

It's been a few months now and the dust is settling, and I'm starting to trust again that the cliff isn't about crumble under my feet, and - I'm starting to get back into writing. I'm starting to want to write again, which is a huge improvement on it's own. For months now, I haven't been capable of caring about anything more than "Is my immediate family safe; are they together." The question "Are they happy" didn't even make the list - just "are they safe; are they together." I was really pared down to the basics for a while there. Caring about anything enough to manage to write about it was just beyond me. It was so much easier to just read other people's stories, and escape from reality that way.

I'm getting my feet back under me now. I haven't succeeded in finishing anything new yet, but there are a few half-finished fics that have been waiting for my return for two years that I'll try using as a launch pad to get back into it. If anyone out there is still waiting on the completion of Give You the Sun, I will finish this fic before I die, I swear to you. There's actually only two chapters to go. I just haven't been capable of writing them. Carbon Copy is my other baby, and there are so many tales yet to tell for that 'verse. I'm not finished with it yet. Ben hasn't even arrived yet, and I refuse to leave the poor kid abandoned and alone and Winchester-less.

So what I'm saying is: I'm still around. I'm getting back into the swing of things. Shit happened and I lost my writing mojo, but I'm clawing it back. I can't promise that it'll happen quickly, but I can promise that it will happen.

So, stay tuned, I guess.

[Aug 2015]

EDIT JAN 2019: So I jumped the gun in 2015 apparently, when I thought everything stressful was over. Following my house and family drama from 2013-2015, my boss apparently decided that it would be a great idea to deliberately and systematically bully me into a full scale mental breakdown. I'd love to say she failed in her attempt, but no -- 2016 was a complete write off. I legit don't remember... most of that year. I was off work for months, and in 2017 I returned tentatively to work for long enough to find a new job and then get the fuck out of there. New job is LOADS better than the old job, if only for the fact that there is no sociopath boss attempting to drive her entire department into therapy. But she did some significant damage to me, and overall it's taken me much longer to properly start recovering from everything than I hoped it would. But I AM getting there.

If you've been following any new of my new fics you'll know that I'm back to writing now, which is progress!! I still have real-life time constraints (full time job, plus a bunch of side-responsibilities) and also mental roadblocks that need navigating (depression and anxiety) but. Bare with me. We're still a work in progress, but we'll get there.

I am an asexual-bi-romantic woman; Christian; and Australian.

I used to have two primary fandoms (Merlin and Supernatural) but I've branched out in a couple other directions since (like MCU, which has taken over my brain). I write where the fandoms take me.

I have a serious platonic-love-complex. Romance is great and all, but for me, platonic relationships will win out every time (In hindsight, I should have worked out a LOT sooner than at 27 years old that I am asexual). I'll read and enjoy a wide range of romantic ships, but when it comes to "grin helplessly into your pillow at the Feels" favourite fics, platonic relationships win hands down, for me. Father-son, found family, sibling fics, etc. My lifeblood.

Favourite Quote Ever:

We do not give up. Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made stronger each day. These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory which will make all our troubles seem like nothing. Things that are seen don't last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. That's why we keep our minds on the things that can't be seen.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

On the topic of Merlin...

Merlin is, and shall forever remain, my absolute all-time favourite television show. I fell in love with Camelot and all her wonderful characters when the show first started, and in the five years that have followed have absolutely delighted in following Merlin and Arthur in all their adventures.

For the love of Camelot - to everyone who had a hand in the show's creation... thank you.

The Carbon Copy 'Verse:

Originally intended to just be a oneshot, my Supernatural/Dark Angel fic has grown into a full universe. In chronological order, the following are the fics that make up my Carbon Copy 'Verse, which follows Sam, Dean and Alec in their various (mis)adventures:

1. Carbon Copy
2. The Church of Apple Pie
3. Driving in Cars with Strangers

The series isn't complete yet, and Ben is going to come into it at some point, but - fair warning: updates are likely to be sporadic, depending on the demands of Real Life. But I do promise you - I'm not done with this 'verse. There will be more.

A note on my older stories...

My earliest stories are... pretty dodgy. Anything posted 2007 or earlier is really not that crash hot. But you know what? I'm proud of them anyway. Because they show how much I've developed as a writer, and how much I've improved since I first started on this site. Some people get rid of their old, crappy stories, but I'm going to keep mine, because they're terrible, but that just makes them a clear indication of progress. So that's why those first few dreadful old stories are still up here.

The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read On The Internet (Possibly Ever, Period):

It's a blog written by someone in America, and I honestly have never laughed harder in my life. My favourites include: The Alot, Dog, A Better Pain Scale, and The God of Cake. That being said, there were very few posts that DIDN'T end with me in absolute throes of laughter, but if you come across one of the more serious ones first, don't stop there. Look at the "Best Of" ones - it's worth it, I promise. Be warned: it will make you cry, it's so funny, and your stomach will hurt from all the laughing.

The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing - to reach the Mountain; to find the place where all the beauty comes from. My country; the place I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for Home? For indeed it feels not like going, but like going back.

-- C. S. Lewis

The world's still the same, mate. There's just... less in it.

-- Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

(Arguably) The most inspirational quote in the world:

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?

But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.

Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.

-- Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien

Courage is not one of the virtues. Courage is every one of the virtues at it's testing point.

-- C. S. Lewis

If Narnia is a game, then Aslan is but a dream, both here and there, and then His forgiveness means nothing. And without His mercy and love I am forever lost. We are forever lost. Susan, when you are ready to be found, He is here to find you... as He once found me.

-- Edmund, Not Ready to be Found, by Lirenel (http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/241274/Lirenel)

The term is over; the holidays have begun. The dream is ended; this is the morning.

Aslan, The Last Battle by C S Lewis