theyre legs

[Influenced by Starcharter-75; parody of and partially based on "Cloud Mows the Lawn."] Pearl is so engrossed in watching Garnet mow the grass around the lighthouse that she doesn't realize that something's up. What could it be? Find out here! Rated T for mentions of sexual conduct.

Pearl is walking around her University one day, and comes across a Trumpeter Swan. (This is a Human Pearl story)

Steven Universe asks Garnet for a somewhat embarrassing piece of advice.

Not all good things were meant to last forever. Well, at least in Pearl's case.

Holly Blue invites Yellow Diamond to her substation for an unforgettable presentation. - (A recreation of the Steamed Hams meme, but it involves Holly Blue Agate as Skinner and Yellow Diamond as Chalmers. This was a request from someone. I'm sorry that I did this, may Rebecca Sugar have mercy on my soul.)

Blue diamond callls a meeting. definite crakc.

I've had way too much to drink...

in the ancient home world of the gems there was a man who sacked Rome... or he would've if it wasn't for the goddamn Germans

Steven gets a visit from sheep man the magic negro.

ITS BIG... ITS LONG... AND ITS PURPLE

Steven feels his bowels about to move so he goes into the bathroom but he finds some weird shit

I'm a polish toaster and I want to gas furries

Steven goes on a magical journey to get a steak sandwich

Yellow is not having a good day. Why can't Pink just listen for once? T for language.

Rose introduces the Gems to Greg. Things go badly. Pearl also eats a thing. I suggest you avoid reading this if you are of Danish or Australian descent. Also pretty much a crackfic.

A collection of my Dry, Dry humor. Most of these are on my GooglePlus (8BitNaga Google Plus) Please dnt get offended Please. The incorrect spellings are on purpose so pls dnt flame me about grammar. Rated T for fairly strong language, dnt like, dnt read, and i suck at summaries. ENJOY MY CHILDREN (This is a crackfic and i dnt own SU)

this..i..was bored and this..thing was created…i have no idea what to call this, a crackfic? yeah probably. read it for yourself i won't give you a description

One-shot AU: Steven bought a used Xbox 360 original at a pawn shop for 20 bucks. But why was it so cheap? Find out in this (I hope) hilarious oneshot.

Connie tells Steven that she likes Lars in order to make him jealous, but things didn't go quite her way...

After destroying the Subway in my other story, Steven and Ronaldo go out to to find some thots hanging around in Keep Beach City. Read more to find out!

A Subway has been installed in Beach City, and Steven's fat ass needs to eat! Find out what happens ;}

yo what would happen if the most mlg pro of gems met steven universe and shit would that be fucked up or what lol XDDDD

Finally.

Why can't anybody tell Steven how babies are made? WARNING: Crackfic (sorta)