Awesome quotes:

"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece." -Author Unknown

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it" - Mark Twain

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein

"Anything too stupid to be said is sung." - Voltaire

"The measure of a man is what he does with power." - Plato

"If you are going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Winston Churchill

"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff." - George Carlin

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization." - George Carlin

"No comment” is a comment. - George Carlin

"Insomnia is my greatest inspiration." - Jon Stewart

"A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run." -Dennis Miller

Irish phrases:

Is minic a gheibhean beal oscailt diog dunta! -- An open mouth often catches a closed fist!

Is fearr Gaeilge briste, na Bearla cliste -- Broken Irish is better than clever English

Is fhearr fheuchainn na bhith san duil -- It is better to try than to hope (Sounds like a green lanten thing.)

De reir a cheile a thogtar na caisleain -- It takes time to build castles

Rogha an da dhiogha -- The lesser of two evils

Ni lia duine na tuairim -- Everyone has their own opinion

Siryn - Theresa Cassidy Quotes:

"Come on, Wade, be a big boy and we'll give ye a lollipop!"
Siryn, in Deadpool #4

"Gambit! What are ye doing in me bedroom?!"
X-Force #51

"Men are soooo easy."
Siryn on the Vanisher, X-Force #81

"Oh, try it! Please! Don't surrender! Aim at me! I dare you! Try to shoot me! It'll be funny! C'mon! C'MON!!!"
Taking no prisoners, in X-Factor #1.

"She's Layla Miller. She 'knows stuff'. If Nostradamus was reborn as Wednesday Addams, that'd be her."
X-Factor #7

"So, uh...you want to go shopping or something, before Layla sends us to the cornfield?"
"Shopping. That's your answer to this? Shopping?"
"Yup."
"Of all the...that is the most...where were you possibly thinking of shopping?"
"Paris. I can have a chartered jet ready to go in half an hour."
"Yeah, all right."
Monet and Theresa, X-Factor #14.

"Oh God...oh God...Ewan...what a magnificent light saber you have...why yes...yes, I'd love to swim down the toilet with you..."
Terry dreams in X-Factor #3

"I appreciate the catch, but about that hand sliding toward my rump..."
"What hand? Oh, you mean this hand..."
"...could you put me down?"
"I could. Would rather not. Okay, fine."
Siryn and Deadpool, in Cable & Deadpool #18

Deadpoool - Wade Wilson Quotes:

I need help! And a pony!

Sir! Yes Sir! Stowing all stupid thoughts! Uh, is that vein on your forehead meant to be throbbing like that? (After speaking with Nick Fury)

A haiku, by Deadpool: I hate broccoli / And think it totally sucks / Why is it not meat?

Whatever happens, remember to protect me.

[about Weasel] Oh, yeah, he's totally trustworthy! Except where money's involved. He would sell his granny's walking cane for a buck. In fact, I bought his granny's walking cane for a buck!

Deadpool: Weasel old buddy! Where have you been hiding out?
Weasel: In the hospital, you stabbed me in the leg remember?
Deadpool: Oh yeah, but I had to, you were trying to steal my last Cheesy Puff
Weasel: It was my bag of Cheesy Puffs!
Deadpool: That's not how I remember it.

Ancient One: Who would dare disturb my meditation?
Deadpool: Grampy, is that you? Wow, you got a lot older... and uglier too.
Ancient One: You buffoon. I am not your grandfather. I am the Ancient One, teacher of Dr. Strange.
Deadpool: Are you sure? You're really grouchy just like Grampy was.

Deadpool: Hi, Black Bolt. How are ya?
[Black Bolt says nothing]
Deadpool: Oh, that's right. You can't talk can you? Your voice is so powerful, it would destroy half of Atillan if you said anything at all.
[Black Bolt still says nothing]
Deadpool: But c'mon, let's put that to the test. Just say one tiny word: 'Spatula.'
[Black Bolt still says nothing]
Deadpool: Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud. Come on, repeat after me: 'Spatula.'

The Professor: You were our best operative, Wolverine. So disappointing. But you did lead us to Dr. Banner. Of course, you know him better as the Hulk.
Deadpool: [reveals gun and ammo] I shot him in the ass, with one of these!
[Everyone glares at him]
Deadpool: What? I did!

The Professor: Weapon X is indeed glad to have you back, Logan. We put considerable time and money into you.
Deadpool: And pointy things!

Hey, Logan, it's me, Deadpool! I shot you...

Welcome to Loserville. Population: You.

Everyone protect me!

Me? Yeah, I'm fine. I just have an uncontrollable urge to rip you to tiny shreds and then dance and spit all over your graves.

I'm really good at killing. You might say it's my specialty. That and ballroom dancing. But guess which one I can actually make a living at.

EVERYBODY! Shield me with your bodies!

It had nothing to do with politics, I just don't like you!

Wade Wilson: Great. Stuck in an elevator with five guys on a high-protein diet.
William Stryker: Oh, Wade.
Wade Wilson: Dreams really do come true.
William Stryker: Just shut it! You're up next.
Wade Wilson: Thank you, sir. You look really nice today. It's the green. It brings out the seriousness in your eyes.
Logan: Oh, my God. Do you ever shut up, pal?
Wade Wilson: No. Not when I'm awake.

All I ever wanted was to travel off in exotic places and meet new exciting people and then kill them, so I became a mercenary. My name is Wade Wilson. And I love what I do.

Victor Creed: That's funny Wade, but I've think you've mistaken me with someone who gives a shit.
Wade Wilson: Granted, it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun, or bone-claws or the fingernails of a bag-lady... Manicure?

Wade Wilson: Fred got a new tattoo. I'm concerned.
Logan: [looks at Fred's tattoo of a woman] Jesus, Fred, you just met her last night.
Frederick J. Dukes: I love her.
Logan: You love her? After one night?
Frederick J. Dukes: She's a gymnast

Check me out. I'm the ghost of Christmas kick your ass!

There's this problem, Weas... I sort of gave up Killing for Lent...

"II eat the uncertainty principle for breakfast. I was born the original loose cannon. -- and I am one unpredicitible feather-pluckin' walrus! Koo-koo-ka-freakin'-choo!"

Okay, Campers! Everyone line up single file... it's polka time!

That was cool and explody.

Well if it isn't Nathan Christopher Dayspring Askani'son Summers... or are you just calling yourself Priscilla now?

Zen Quotes:

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

The great master Yueh-shan hung-tao was asked by his disciple, "Of what does one think during sitting meditation?"

The master replied, "One thinks of not-thinking."

The disciple asked, "How does one think of not-thinking?"

The master replied, "Without thinking."