I HAVE PUT ALL OF MY STORIES ON HOLD!!! I recently lose a relative and have been handling a shit tone of negative in my life. I really can't focus on my fanfiction at the moment. I am still posting things on my FictionPress account, under the same name, but its a lot of personal writings and such. But you can go check those out if you'd like.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a wall, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever fell up the stairs, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever talked to yourself, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed a door that said pull, of visa-versa, than copy this onto you profile.

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it copy and paste this to your profile.

Qutoes and advice

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think

“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss” –Douglas Adams

Friendship is like peeing yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling it brings

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Be obscure clearly.

E. B. White

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say “Wow! I’m really so cute!” You’ll overcome your sadness. But don’t make it a habit, cause liars go to HELL

Man has will, but woman has her way.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind”. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – “mank” and “ind”. What do these words mean ? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? — George Carlin

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light!” And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. — Ellen DeGeneres

Always take money from a Pessimist…They never expect it back…

All work and no play, will make you a manager.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

They say “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don’t think you’d kill many people.

If I could chose any way to destroy the world, I’d delete google.

Sex it not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right

When in doubt, mumble.

Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.

There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot.

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.