My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
-Jack Nicholson

Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.
-Stephen King

The Below Statement is False.
The Above Statement is True.

Writers block: when characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike.

Note(s) to self

not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

not talk to fictional characters in public.

not answer fictional characters in public.

not talk to inanimate objects in public.

not go out in public.

6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29.People are staring at you.

act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"

If you love black, but are not goth, copy this on your Profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile.

Favorite T.V. shows.

Supernatural

Favorite pairings: Sam/Gabriel, Dean/Castiel, Bobby/Crowley (On occasion...)

Characters: Crowley, Gabriel, Sam

Favorite Animes

Gravitation

Pairings: Eiri/Shuichi

Ginga Densetsu Weed

Pairings: None. I watched the anime so...

Favorite Characters: Jerome, GD, Rocket

Junjou Romantica

Favorite pairing: Egoist (Noawki/Hiroki)

Favorite movies

Any Disney movie I've ever watched. (Too many to list.)

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people whom like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.