Odd pairings. Whimsical humour. Somewhat disturbing scenarios. It's what you'll find here in this collection of crack drabbles.

A friend requested some asexual!Rin and I delivered. Enjoy!

ItaSaku Non-Massacre AU. Their story began long before anyone could realize it. The story of a little pink-haired girl child, and a stoic young boy.

Will's having a hard time. Beverly drives him home. Nothing happens. Nothing at all.

Jimmy won't ever love Thomas, but Thomas will always love Jimmy.

An evening curled up on the couch in a shabby London apartment turns to learning about previously untold aspects of her story. (T for swears, AS verse)

Miranda gets a new tattoo. Jack is impatient. Mild spoiler for LotSB, a lot of fluff. AS verse.

For Aria's Afterlife Valentine's Day Competition: A Jackanda Valentine's Day. Miranda hates Valentine's Day, but Jack's not going to let that stop her. Kind of a follow-on to Paradise.

Two drabbles based on the conversation wheel we all know and love. The first has a paragon FemShep being a total renegade in bed, and the second has a renegade FemShep that ends up being a paragon in bed. Liara/FemShep pairing

Jack tries to steal something that doesn't belong to her and gets an eyeful instead. Miranda/Jack, Liara/FemShep

An explicit extension of the Liara/FemShep romance scene before landing on Ilos. Beware of mush.

A single night's mistake separated them for six years. When chance throws them back together, it will take more than love to heal the wounds and bring them home. Cleon, Soriku, AkuRoku, Zemyx, Yuffietine.

AU. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single high school boy in possession of a good libido, must be in want of a girlfriend — or a pretend one. Axel/Roxas and others.

Five things Uchiha Shisui wished he'd lived to do, and one he didn't. Unrepentantly AU. Slash.

SasuNaru main. Naruto and Sasuke aren't very good at settling down. Sakura narrates. Also NaruHinata, SasukeOC, and LeeSakura.

A cluster of flash fiction inspired by chapter 484. Slash/het/femmelash.

In which the boy who hated everyone met the boy who didn't. AU, RS. Warning: 'noodle' used as a questionable insult in a foreign language.

Itachi on making Sasuke hate him. /It was worth it, he hoped./

Of repercussions and promises that don't pan out. Kakashi/Sasuke.

And they all lived together in a crooked little house. Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura.

Sasuke is thirteen, and his is not the only heart that's breaking. Love by Extension, or 15 Things Uchiha Sasuke Will Not Remember. Kimimaro/Sasuke.

The Queen of Astraea Hill has fallen again.

The parting of Hades and Persephone always made Zeus uncomfortable.

SiriusJames—- in which tapestries crumble and friendships fail and all that's left are the ghosts of things best left forgotten.

AkuRoku. Roxas has Broca’s aphasia and secretly wants to burn down the house. Axel makes chicken dinner and thinks about birds.

Fate had been cruel to him, cursing him with such a family. But Itachi could only count his blessings that at least he had been given this one small piece of happiness. Mild implied ItaSasu

Mrs Lovett and Sweeney Todd decide to teach the Alphabet to kindergardeners. But what happens when it's Sweeney Todd's Alphabet? Just a bit of fun!

With a jolt of realization, he wound it around and around in his head, letting the longing and penetrating grief melt into his heart and mind, devouring him as he re-evaluated what he had been missing his whole time. Light Riku/Sora

Roxas & Sora & the world turned upside down, gone horribly wrong.

Belated Valentine-for-Hanakage posting. NarutoSasuke AU ficlet. Sasuke is quiet and Naruto is counting. HS fluff with flowers.

Sasuke digs back to his past to find his brother's final words to him written on paper.

ItaSaku Ramen-verse Non Massacre AU. To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower... A deed, once committed, can never be undone. Like an ink blotch, forever, besmirched...

It would be nice if, for once, they could all have normal dates on a romantic holiday. Axel/Roxas, fusion with Weiss Kreuz.

The 'proper' care and raising of a little schemer.

It's about growing up, mostly. Sometimes it's about love and sometimes it's about friendship. Sometimes it's about hockey. But sometimes it's about the difference between what's real and what's fake, between being a boy and being a man. Riku/Sora, Roxas

AkuRoku. The whole world is crumbling. Axel picks this time to fall in love.

When Sora dies, all Riku wants is to do is remember. Along comes Roxas, who both is and isn't a carbon copy of Sora. Oh, sweet misery. AU. RikuRoku.

AxelRoxas; You make me want to believe in Hollywood endings. This time, we're going to be the leading actors, just us, okay? Everyone else can be the supporting cast.

Common sufferings are far stronger than common joys.

Collection of drabbles. Various pairings, various themes. Based on songs.

Alice may or may not be a child prostitute, Riku's lost more than a few brain cells, and Axel tries to keep it all together. Crack. RikuAliceAxel.

Axel was doing what he always did. He was making things. Things that nobody wanted to see. Things without hearts.

Olette keeps buying four ice cream bars. Pence keeps taking pictures of empty space. Hayner knows something is missing, but he can't put a finger on it. Or bump a fist against it, either.

-"It was the essence of ambiguity, the deafening silence that exists in promises unsaid and lamentations unheard." Tomatoes are what you want them to be, Sasuke and Naruto realize. Tilt your head to the side and squint; you might see hints of NaruSasu.

I'm standing on the edge of your word. — implied cloudriku, rikucloud. au. one-shot. complete.

13 drabbles, 13 relationships. If I had a heart, you'd make it beat faster.

[AU, NaruSasu] It is love at first sight when Naruto meets his new neighbor Sasuke and no amount of foul attitude can change his mind. A story about growing up, about family and about that love thing.

SasuNaru AU. Naruto comes home to an empty apartment, but he's determined to fix that. About permanence, transience, and lots of collisions.

akuroku. white rabbits and philip k dick and going mad in slow motion.

When sprays begin to spring. MarluxiaNaminé

And I will watch your brilliant sapphire eyes in unhidden cruelty and ecstasy as they slip shut. Forever.

A short oneshot, AxelxRiku, please review :

Maybe after seeing his entire clan dead, Sasuke is broken beyond repair. And maybe all he wants his to have his mom back so that she can tell him what exactly a mulberry bush is anyways.

-Neji x Hinata- All she has ever wanted is for him to stand beside her.

AkuRokuOneshot You're so pretty and you're so dead.

They do call it fire country for a reason. Sasuke waits for the rain. Sasunejisasu.

Sometimes a girl just needs to know that she can love, and be as equally loved back. Kaname/Momomi

Itachi was a genius. His fingers hit their target and he was gone. Sasuke reflects on his victory. Spoilers for chapter 397. One-shot.

Rikucentric: Several different scenarios, all fairly angsty, all revolving around Riku. Poor kid doesn't ever catch a break. :COMPLETE:

Haunted by memories of Sora and his happier childhood, Riku feels trapped in a life he lives only to please his strict aunt. Until Axel takes an interest in him. And when his life takes a complete 180, he's not sure it's for the best. [AxelRiku, LeonRiku]

The sky is falling off the ceiling, and I could stop her from falling from the windowsill, but it's what she wants. Drowned in raindrops that have never tasted so sweet as they poisoned her brain.

A collection of frames and events, the ones that shaped his definitions of the human eye, and the ones that changed them. Itachi coming to terms with the end of it all. Introspective.

Riku was violent, while Axel was dangerous. Sora and Roxas were really just trying to help, honest. The rest of them were just to caught up with themselves to care. I don't know any of the warnings yet except that there's slash. AxelxRiku, SoraxRoxas. Yum

Riku knows, when Roxas shows up bleeding on his front porch, that happy endings aren't for them yet he can still pretend. RoxasRiku AU

Enforced babysitters, genetically warped eyes and dark-haired teenagers for whom hormones are starting to affect their professionalism. Because sex in hidden villages is bound to be complicated. NejiSasu AU

AU, oneshot, Axel centric:: Moving out is hard. Moving on is even harder. ::AxelRiku, sort of::

‹‹ RikuRoku ›› ‹‹ HS AU ›› Riku sees a man who is nonexistent, and Roxas sees a boy made from pieces of light… But if they don’t fall apart, it’ll be okay.

In the epic battle between Riku vs. Anybody, who would win? Could Riku win in a fight again Leon, Cloud, and Sephiroth? Could he defeat Organization XIII single handedly? Is there anyone he can't beat?

.: true love is a fairy tale :. RikuSora .: for fullmetalguitar :.

Marluxia wasn't looking at the curtains because the design was pretty though, he did find it rather fetching, it was because he had no idea of what was going on.

In which Sasuke can almost taste the victory but ends up getting a mouthful of defeat. NaruSasu

It's teatime now. [RikuRoku] [Alice in Wonderland–esque]

I love horses. ::oneshot, Riku::

Do not read this story. [ Rated for disturbing content. ]

[AU] He stole my heart. Then broke it. [Character death] So I took his. And ate it. [SoRi]

POEM―Oh la, c’est très magnifique. [Marluxia & Namine]

swing low, sweet [passus et sepultus est tamen did non et ascendit in caelum] chariot, come'in for to carry me home. [axel.riku][s: wherein identification is emblazoned]

◦[It's a birthday card Riku won't soon forget] .Riku x Sora. [Oneshot]◦

Marluxia x Naminé: Tomorrow is never today.

You taste like instant noodles, Riku. [Mariku][cracky]

[oneshot] This is what he remembers. [Riku, family genfic]

we toil and labor and work without praise, [imsickimsickrikuimsick. I'm dying. Riku. Rikurikurikuriku.] only to find that there is something wrong with us. [au][riku.roxas]

[i dreamt last night.]yea.[it was paradise]is that so.[m hm. you were there and it was about as beautiful as it would ever get.][axel.roxas][mightbe:au]

What happens when you take in a stray. Oneshot. [SasuNejiSasu]

Ripe and organically raw: a fresh collection of Riku.Sora drabbles, squeezed just for your pleasure. Come on, slake your thirst, you know you can't resist the glamour of fruit. [Episode III: Maybe you’ll enjoy it. And, really, what’s the harm?]

Because Sora's just that cool. [RikuSora.Slash.]

Three different shinobi discarding their humanity in five different tales. [And then realigning with it.] SaixNarutoxHinata NarutoxSaixHinata, perhaps hints of NaruxSasu, NaruxSakura [if you really must]

[RikuAxel] Riku finds someone in Hell he’s not ready to see just yet. [Character Death]

[PostKH2 oneshot, SoraRikuKairi friendship, Riku centric] People tend to bleed into each other.

Paper and bones. Jack Sparrow, Luxord.

Meat eating orchids. Luxord, Marluxia, Axel.

Riku's trying to angst. Sora's not helping.

[I was starting to feel pretty sexy and all, but I was a little nervous anyway.] Naruto is a little nervous the first time he kisses Sasuke. NarutoSasuke.

He who tasted honey will want the hive. [And it's bitterness is more appropriate than her smile.] SasuNaruSaku [Dedicated to CatGurl2004]

Nobody told Tobi that out of all the calendar holidays, Valentine’s Day was the last one to be passionately celebrated in the company of seven homicidal men. Crackfic.

He didn't want to wake up yet. [Riku]

ONESHOT—As I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good old way, and who shall wear the starry crown? Good Lord, show me the way. [Sora]

[drabble, oneshot] Excuse me, but you're in my way. [AxelRiku]

It was like Sora...But at the same time it wasn't. Only the mock of the boy he had loved. [Soriku, AntiSoriku]

It's Axel's birthday today. [AxelRiku]

Riku versus Leon's tight leather pants.

[AU, AxelRiku] Sometimes love doesn't need to be completely overwhelming. Sometimes, it just needs to be good enough. [complete]

The desert waits. And it is far too patient. [Sasuneji]

They know things aren’t supposed to be this way, but they make due with what they have. [Sasuneji]

Itachi's plans have always been well executed, and this one was no different. Itachi may have formed the idea, but Sasuke struck the blow that left him drowning. [ItachiSasuke, but Sasuke centered.] [Warnings for a bit of foul language. And crazy.]

oh riku. you dirty whore. [one.shot][drabble][older fiction]

oh how that damn boy is pretty. [drabble][one.shot][older fiction]

They created the monster under the bed and all he has to do is play the part. When something is weak and sickly, it is destroyed: that is the way of nature. They are the sickness, and Itachi is the cure. [ItachiSasuke][Companion to 'After Effect'.]

His cheek blisters with cold as Axel backhands him in a flash of his delicately sculpted fingers. Roxas staggers, stumbles on his shoes, and falls. [077: What?][hinted:akuroku]

Sai has one, and it's not his, but he likes to look at it, to pretend to remember a time when [notentirelyhis] Team 7 had been invincible, together. When they could have outshone the sun. And to pretend that maybe they still can. [Team 7] [Oneshot]

The second time Tsukiyomi is used on him, Sasuke finds that acting is harder, and faces tend to change. A descent into madness goes unchecked. [Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto. Not romantic][Warning for graphically depicted content.]

[Oneshot. AxelRiku, SoraRiku friendship] Take all your pills and divide them by number and size.

[PreKH] There's a lot that Riku doesn't understand. AnsemRiku, Fathersonlike. Yaoi.

Hating one person, truly hating one person, he learned, required hating everybody else. Sasuke tried to early on and failed miserably.

[Oneshot PWP. Post KH2. Fluffy RxS yaoi.] Sora has some questions for Riku about the birds and the bees. And ninjas really are better than pirates.

[Drabble, oneshot. Riku POV. Parent!fic.] Hey, Dad. I'm back.

It's odd, how Temari finds herself bonding with Gaara over the strangest of things. Sickfic.

he knows he isn’t safe around axel. [vexen.marluxia.axel]

[Severus SnapeDraco Malfoy] PostHBP, contains spoilers for up to and including. Reviews are joy. Snape is bitter. Draco is a brat. The Malfoys are really bad parents. Oh, and don't mention the werewolves.

A modern day rendition of the Uchiha tragedy. The problem with humans, you see, is that we're more entranced with our fantasies than reality... [AU, Complete]

yum, words. [cid.leon]

Fair hair had shone through the darkness, slicked back and framing a slender, pale face. His lips were quirked almost mischievously, a contrast to his bright eyes, and she found herself wondering how a grown man could look so…angelic. Hidan fic.

you don't have to admit you wanna play. just touch me and forget. [axel.riku]

Guilt is a deadly poison in Sasuke's veins, burning and tormenting him, driving him to the edge, and Naruto just wants to cure him. NaruSasu. OneShot.

Seven–year–old Itachi holds a yellow balloon blown only eight centimeters high and wide. It is a baby’s heart; his baby brother’s heart. And he just killed his baby brother. ‹‹ Itachi–introspective: two–part drabble ››

a replica learns the importance of a name. [toy story xover]

There is a place, there is a boy, there is a crack, and there is a crack in the boy. There is Uchiha Sasuke. Introspective. Psychological fic.

[Mother's Day 2006] Mikoto muses in the kitchen while preparing dinner and watching Sasuke draw a house. Sort of AU. No spoilers.

OneShot. The day before Naruto left for training with Jiraiya, he went into Sasuke's room. Slight NaruSasu.

Sasuke has gone insane. Naruto takes care of him. [implied SasuNaru or NaruSasu, drabble, not really a dark fic. X3]

Oneshot. Itachi returns to Konoha for the last time...

she can pull as much as she wants. [maleficent.x.riku.x.antisora]

zexion's hair was always so soft.

she was born with glue for a spine. [antisora.x.riku]

finish what you've started. marluxianamine. [PART FOUR.]

It is against regulations for a shinobi to show any weakness or emotions. Sasuke wonders just who it was that truly died. NaruSasu.

As the title says. Sasuke can’t believe he has bad vision! Major crack and randomness.

A beautiful flower blooms in the hands of a silverhaired Death Eater.

What Team 7 is . . . and is not. Possible outcomes for the future.

This is Akito. This is Ayame. And this is a bit of their story.

ShikaTema. Shikamaru doesn't like a lot of things, including her. Asuma helps clear a few things up, however. [oneshot]

Spoilers up to the Chuunin exams. Kakashicentric. Talent comes up a lot in the Naruto series, but it can cause more problems than it solves.

Ficlet. RikuSora. Sometimes the red thread can be a noose. Love is not beautiful.

Hinata has a question, and Gai's team has a lot of opinions.

Uchiha Itachi in one hundred words. Need I say more?

Sasuke's not-so-guilty secret. NaruSasu 100-word drabble.

Another day, another dollar. SasuSakuNaru a few years down the road.

A first kiss, a last kiss, and things in-between. Shounen ai.

Hiashi remembers and- perhaps- understands. HiaHiz and HinaNeji. Meaning incest, yes.

Nothing escapes it. Nothing enters it. No emotion. Nothing. [oneshot]

This is not the worst moment of Neji's life.

A short fic centering around Sasuke and Kakashi. No pairings, just a teacher trying to figure out his student. In the rain.

Will Turner witnesses the birth of his son and thinks about his wife- as well as another very dear friend.

Sasuke, his thoughts on an heir, affection, and other useful things. Sasusaku.

Sasuke analyzes his teammates and teacher through the joys of comparison. Vague shounen ai.