Some Broken Hearts Never Heal
 Author has written 23 stories for Naruto, NCIS, Coronation Street, Bleach, Doctor Who, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Glee, Rizzoli & Isles, Victorious, and Wild Thornberry. Willow: Hey guys *Smiles* Welcome to my random profile... not all that different to my brain tbh :-) Favourite shows/anime/films/books - Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, NCIS, Naruto, Bleach, Shugo Chara, One Piece, Corination Street, Mean Girls, My Sisters Keeper, Freedom Writers, Harry Potter, Twilight, Shiver/Linger, Glee, Rizzoli and Isles, Imagine Me and You, Bloomington Favourite Bands/Singers - Evanscence, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, Flyleaf, Disney tunes, Folder5, Japanese stuff (Anime Themes), Avenue Q Favourite Couples: Buffy - WillowXTara, WillowXFaith, TaraXFaith, WillowXBuffy Willow - So yeah. Personal stuff now...Wonderful *Insert Eyeroll here* Name - Willow Willow - kukukukuku...So now...Other stuff... For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile (BOLD the ones you are); I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. Akatsukicons! Itachi -/ \- Deidara o\/ Zetsu \o.o/ Tobi @ Sasori -.- Kisame =o_o= Hidan o.o Kakuzu . Pein -:- Copy and paste this to your profile to help them take over the world!! Month one Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile! I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for you, they don’t laugh It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're an idiot "The evening news always opens by them saying 'Good evening' and then precedes to tell you exactly why it isn't." People are boring; they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs. Duct tape is like the force. Dark on one side, light on the other, and it holds the universe together. Last night I was looking up at the stars, when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?" Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil. It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth closed than to open it and prove it. OMG! The rain is wet. If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't! I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait! If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ?? If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. "I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." OK, so what's the speed of dark? They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.” FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it D.E.I.D.A.R.A. stands for... Dangerously Explosive Idiot Doing Amazing Reckless Art :D Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks." Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers." As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as: Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot." Dismay: "Aw fuck it." Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now." Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy." Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!" Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?" Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here." In Confidence: "He's a fuck off." Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'" I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!" The End! Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs I don't obsess, I think intensely! I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! "Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda." I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned. "The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf." "Nobody move! I dropped my brain." "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." "He who laughs last didn't get it." Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? -Education is important; school however, is another matter. I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder! -Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. -Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. -Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. -The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. -I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? -Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? -There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. -Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. -Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage. Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less -Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us -Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. -Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? The road to success is always under construction. Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway Life's tough...Get a helmet I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now! Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid "Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for." "Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you." "All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if there is a 'wet paint' sign somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery...but today is a gift...that is why it is called the present. When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way. People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people. An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything. Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks. (it took me a while to get that one :P My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard "I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?" The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? He who laughs last didn't get it Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter "I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother" You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children 2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping 4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping 11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap 12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness 13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required You know you live in 2009 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace. 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 10. You were too busy to notice number five. 11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five. 12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did. (Yup, every SINGLE time!) Why America has some issues 1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." 7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" 9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more. 25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay." 26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5. Meow occasionally. 6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly. 7. Say "DING!" at each floor. 8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. 9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. 16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 21. Swat at flies that don't exist. 22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it. 23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." 1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL 8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 ) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9) (Put it on your page if you laughed and if your eyes hurt... I did!) 16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things You know you live in the twenty-first century when... 1. 5th. graders cuss. 2.Shipping is twice the amount you paid for the actual item don't know what kind of car your neighbor has. pay more for gas every month then you do for your car. of right now you are thinking, "This is so true." 7. You were too stupid to read number 5. 8. You just went back to read number 5. 9. You find number 5 isn't there. start laughing. are thinking, "This girl is really clever!" 12. And, because you are all suckers, you're all gonna put this on your profile. 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity . Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile! 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 7. Our magazines have horiscopes 6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm 4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing You say BRIGHT PINK I say BLOOD RED You say ROBERT PATTINSON I say BILLY JOEL ARMSTRONG You say LIL’ WHAYNE I say BULLET FOR MY VALINTINE You say DRAMA I say PAIN You say REALITLY T.V. I say ANIME You say I’M WEIRD I say YES I AM, THANKS Some awesome quotes from icons - - If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE -So I was like Avada Kadavra and he was like Dead - I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling. - Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret. - Remus Lupin does NOT want a flee collar - I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. - I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month. - I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort - I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape - I will not scare the Arythmancy students with my calculas book - Jesus was a Hufflepuff - Dear Harry, I hate you, Love Voldy - When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley. - This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid. -"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked infront of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy -I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office -I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy! -Professer Flitwick's name is not Yoda -I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class -If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm -Neville: OMG I killed Harry Potter (somewhere in the distance) Voldemort: Nooooo! I wanted to do it! sob -Draco: I mock you with my spirit fingers! (don't ask) -I stalked a death eater and all i got was this lousy potions master! -I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wandb -I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing -I will not follow potions intstructions in reverse order just to see what happens -I will not give Hagrid pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals -I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween -I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton -Perfect ending to The Harry Potter Series: The Giant Squid consumes Britian -Sirius Black escaped askaban... evaded death eaters... outwitted ministry... killed by drapery. (he had a good run) -I have a lot to live up to you know. There are so many Gryffindors' to tourture, and my minions can't do all the work. That's why I need milk. Because, ferrets with strong bones bounce a lot higher. GOT MILK? ~ Draco Malfoy How to do Naruto! Eat ramen for breakfast,lunch,and dinner (I have nver tried it yet but I want to soo bad) Stick your hand in a electric box and scream chidori as you pass out (I don't think so, but i would laugh so hard if someone did...) Roll your eyes behind your head and scream Byakugan (oh yea) Dye your head blond,black, or pink and try to run up a tree. (sounds like fun) Trade in your hat for a forhead protector ( I have a forehead protecter!!) Claim your gonna kill ur best friend 2 get a better Sharigan (Maybe...jk) Copy everything a person does and claim its ur bloodline (I would.) Graduate highshool and proclaim ur self as Anbu (Oh hellz yes!) List Anbu as current occupation on a job application (I'd be put in the nuthouse!) spout out a random character quote on command (lolz) Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way" (Okay!) When you run, you run with your arms behind you (I do that all the time with a buds.) Try to walk on top of a hot spring (It doesn't work yet!) When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage (Or to be priminister, that ould be cool.) Write your name in blood on a big scroll (Ouch!) Take a leave of absence for 2½ years and when you come back pretend you're cooler and smarter (Oh ya!) You dye your hair red and carry around bags of sand. (Heh, Gaara of the funk) You carve the Hokage's faces on a mountain. (Maybe on playdough.) You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. (my friend named her dog Tobi...) You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. (I kept bugs in my pockets when I was little...I was a weird kid) You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline. (OHHHH YEAH!!) You always wear green, skintight clothes. (No way) When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu. (Don't say it's stupid, it's a good excuse!) You dye your hair white and spy on girls. (OH HELL NO) You collect frogs and claim to be a Toad Sage. (NO THANK YOU) (\)_(/)(")_(") This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination! | |||||||
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