Hello everybody this is OniRudra37

I have begun my descent back into the evil belly of the underworld known as Fanfiction.

I have a very distinct appreciation for the authors who dont take any sh# from anybody I find it is a brilliant judge of character.

To everyone who has waited on one of my stories for a new chapter or update, i have been revamped, things have been busy with a wedding, and future plans on how to fix something.

My general favorites in things are the following:

Favorite Animes:

Naruto, Samurai Champloo, Rosario Vampire, Yu Yu Hakusho, etc.

Favorite Movies:

Wall-E (It is really cute and i enjoyed the play of the lonely robot hooking up with the search bot Eve.), Sherlock Holmes 1&2, the adjustment bureau, Ironman 1 & 2, Clash of the titans, wrath of the titans

Fav. Pairings:

Naruto: NaruxTema, NaruxTayu, NaruxKin (yes the sound chicks are just awesome.) NaruxTen, NaruxHanabi, GaraxMats, Sasuxa brick stick (take that you arrogant Uchiha) and finally my absolute favorite NaruxFem. Hina.

Rosario Vampire: Anyone with anyone as long as Kurumu isn't with anyone (She is way to freaky with those fingernails.)

Bleach: RukiaxChad... I know its really weird but i feel he doesn't get the respect he deserves. Also SoifonxYoruichi. Heh heh heh, I love messing with people.

Fav. Crossover Pairings:

NarutoxRaven from Teen Titans.

NarutoxRukia from Bleach.

NarutoxAny girl with a painful past. (Don't hate me)

Least Fav. Anime Characters:

Sasuke Uchiha (arrogant prick)

Sakura Haruno (really evil banshee, just someone kill the b#ch.)

Aizen (thats a scary son of a B#ch.)

Gin (his sword is a screwed up blade on viagra, man whore.)

I dont watch many animes, but i will watch some of the ones I like, and occasionaly watch some of them to see if it can be worked in as a crossover.

Truth of Naruto: Naruto started out as a idiot, he grew up, he fought incredibly strong people and man things..., learned destructive and powerful jutsu and sage arts, and has the incredible probability that he can change the shinobi world. There is just one more problem:

He is still an idiot.

Work vs Prison

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
AT WORK... you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK... you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

So why is it, again, that we work?

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

╔╗╔╦══╦═╦╦══╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║╠╗╔╣║║║╔╗╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║╚╝║║║║║║║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╚╝page if you love
║╔╗╠╝╚╣║║║╔╗║║║║╔╗║╔╗Hinata!
╚╝╚╩══╩╩═╩╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗ x ╔╗╔╦══╦═╦╦══╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║ x ║║║╠╗╔╣║║║╔╗╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝ x ║╚╝║║║║║║║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╚╝
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗ x ║╔╗╠╝╚╣║║║╔╗║║║║╔╗║╔╗
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝ x ╚╝╚╩══╩╩═╩╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝

~There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

~Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

~Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.

~What happens if you get scared half to death... Twice?

~Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..

~Can I take your picture? I collect photos of Natural Disasters.

~He who laughs last thinks slowest.

How important does a person have to be before a person is considered assassinated instead of murdered?

~We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at showing it.

~If you can't beat them... Arrange to have them beaten...

~When I said "I'd hit that!" ... I meant with my car...

~When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing... It's more of a "You have to be Mentally Retarded like us" type of thing...

~I'm NOT a stalker... I simply admire from afar... From behind a sign... .

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.

retrieved by notgonnasay09, if you believe the above has great point copy and paist to your profile: OniRudra37

Onirudra37's Rules for combat

~When one is about to die, let you gaseous farts out, you dont want to take them with you...

~When one sees something that they can not beat, do what comes naturally: RUN LIKE HELL!

~When you and your oponent are about to use your strongest attacks against one another, even the field, grab the melons or kick the coconuts, your sure to win by general WTFness.

~When going against someone who is stronger, faster, smarter, and has a greater attention span, flip them off and play dead by seizure and heart attack.

~The hand that feeds usually ends up bitten, the hand that holds the chidori usually becomes a human bug zapper.

~When a fist to the chest doesn't do the trick, boot to the head will even the score considerably.

~When strong attack meets weak defense guess what happens... whoops too slow.

~How one is supposed to be beaten is not the qestion, how you hide from them afterwards is what you should be answering.

~When a weapon is tearing its way through your chest consider this: Did i leave the stove on?

~When a man with a plan meets one who doesn't think ahead they both realize something, i have yet to figure out what.

~The greatest rule of fighting dirty, nothing is too underhanded, despicable, creepy or perverted to be useless, unless it turns out that it is useless than you just give up.

~The saddest attack when fighting dirty is when you dont have the chance to do something dirty.

~When destroying an enemy encampment, dont forget to kill the would be avengers.

~When stabbing make sure the knife blade is facing away from the body.

~When using a double sided knife do not stab, Ow.

~When charging, run away from the screaming legions.

~Head to head is overly exagerrated, head to foot is far more acceptable.

~When fighting a close range expert, back the fuck up.

~When a spear is thrusting at you, do not hip thrust back, it hurts.

~When sword is slashing at you, do not respond with chop, will result in loss of hand.

~When axe is hacking at you do not headbutt... ... ... i warned you.

~When tackling from the side, head stays above waistline, its best for everyone's sake.

~Shoulder tackles are so outdated, knees to the chin are much more fun.

~If you are shy and your opponent takes this as weakness and begins to gloat, i reccomend a chibi with a large mallet.

~When wrapped up in rope, dont try to escape. The enemy will eventually lose interest and you can walk out anyway.

~How the enemy is advancing should be ignored, rather how their generals are going to attack should be a greater issue.

~Never repeat never, attack an enemy encampment right after opening a jar of peanut butter, it is destined to great loss.

~Wood is just as capable as steel when making a weapon, even better for a flaming one.

New adapted rules for combat (inspired by my continuous playing of the Elder Scrolls: Skyrim)

~ When sneaking up on a snow elf, never stop sneaking up.

~ When attacking a sabre cat use a damn greatsword, not a tiny iron dagger, it takes forever and well it just sucks to have to waist majic to continuously heal yourself.

~ Never hit a mammoth with a arrow all it does is tick them off, but the tusks are worth their weight in gold.

~ Never pickpocket a member of the dark brotherhood, kill them first then loot the body, its underhanded but hey its easier and they are some kick ass armor and robes.

~ Dont fist fight a dragon... well anyone reading this should know. Hopefully.

~ Archers are awesome, until someone gets close enough, or they hit someone with a better aim.

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx,uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai,Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise, XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em' , SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, Midami Uchiha of the Sand, craZy goth friendZ,narutolover1259, Ninjafox369, Kudomeya, Tobi44, Akatsuki wolves6, Moto2201, OniRudra37,

THE WE LOVE SASUKE-BASHING CLUB: If you hate Sasuke from NARUTO and love making him suffer, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Kinomi-chan, EstherAngelofDeath, 9shadowcat9, Akatsuki wolves6, Moto2201, OniRudra37,

THE WE LOVE NARU/HINA CLUB : If you love the idea that Naruto and hinata should hook up copy and paste this to your page and ad your name. Oodama Rasengan, The First Kitsukage, Kyuubi69Assassin,The Unkown Twinkie, OniRudra37

For those who hate Danzo, Copy and paste this on your profile!!

DOWN WITH DANZO!! DOWN WITH DANZO!! DOWN WITH DANZO!! DOWN WITH DANZO!!

New Kick arse challenge:

I, Onirudra37, have begun to take a fascination with Naruto as a criminal or an insane loco, i would like people to send PM of any stories that have a basis around these plots, also any other NaruXHina would be greatly appreciated, thanks.