TRANSFORMERS.

1. Sideswipe.

2. Sunstreaker

3. Drift.

4. Knock Out

5.Thundercracker

6. Skywarp

7. Jazz

8. Rodimus Prime

9. Red Alert.

10. Ratchet

Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night.

Me: What the hell, get the fuck out.

Sideswipe: omg.

Me: Stop saying omg.

Sideswipe: omg.

Me: If you don't stop, I will tell Sunstreaker it was you who used up all his wax and paint for a dumb prank.

Sideswipe: omg no.

Number 2 asks you to go out with them.

Me: Is this some kind of joke.

Sunstreaker: No, why on earth would you say that. I would never do something mean.

Me: Ouch, that stung. Sarcasm hurts.

Me: .. Wait, Sideswipe is roping you into this, isn't he?

Sunstreaker: *angry face* Yes.

Number 3 walks into the bathroom while you are showering.

Me: DRIFT WHAT THE FUCK. GET OUT.

Drift: I've seen and done some horrifying things in my lifetime but this one takes the cake.

Me: Now that just hurtful. *starts playing You Can't Stop The Beat*

Me: Take that fucker.

Number 4 announces that he/she is going to marry number 9 tomorrow.

Knockout: Who's number 9 again?

Red Alert: I am.

Knockout: No fucking way. Weddings off.

Number 5 cooks you dinner, do you eat it?

Me: Pretty sure Energon is harmful to humans.

Thundercracker: You ungrateful little shit.

Number 6 was laying on a beach next to you, what do you do.

Me: leave him the fuck alone because I don't have a death wish. Being squished is not on my wish list thank you very much.

Number 7 suddenly confesses to being apart of your family.

Me: Pretty sure there has being a major breach in the laws of nature.

Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?

Me: This is what you get for being a fucking idiot.

Rodimus: It seemed like a good idea at the time?

Me: Driving off a cliff at high speeds because "it will give me enough momentum to fly" is not a good idea at any time.

Number 9 made fun of your friends?

Me: Just because their not paranoid psychopaths like you?

Red Alert: :

Me: I've already lost enough friends, I swear to Primus I'm ready to stab a bitch.

Number 10 ignores you all the time?

Me: I don't want a grumpy medic after me, get the fuck outta here.

Quotes :D

TRANSFORMERS

Captian Lennox: I need a credit card! Epps, where's your wallet?

Epps: Pocket!

Captian Lennox: Which pocket?

Epps: MY BACK POCKET!

Captain Lennox: You got like ten back pockets!

Epps: LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!

Ironhide: You have a rodent infestation.

Sam Witwicky: A what?

Ironhide: [aiming cannons at Mojo] Shall I terminate?

Sam Witwicky: No! No! This is a chihuahua. We love chihuahuas.

Ironhide: He's leaked lubricants all over my foot! Hmmph!

Sam Witwicky: He peed on you? Bad Mojo! Bad!

Ironhide: Bad Mojo! Ugh, my foot's gonna rust...

[Bumblebee, with Sam and Mikaela inside, is being chased by Barricade]

Mikaela: Oh, God! We're gonna die! We're gonna die!

Sam Witwicky: No, we're not. No, we're not gonna die. Trust me. He's a kick-ass driver!

[Bumblebee heads towards a wall]

Sam Witwicky: [high-pitched scream] Oh, my God! No! We're gonna die!

Judy Witwicky: [barging into Sam's bedroom, her husband in tow] Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?

Ron Witwicky: Judy...

Sam WitWicky: Was I master... No, Mom!

Ron Witwicky: Zip it, okay?

Judy Witwicky: It's okay...

Sam WitWicky: No, I don't masturbate!

Ron Witwicky: That's not something for you to bring up.

Judy Witwicky: Okay.

Ron Witwicky: That's a father-and-son thing, okay?

Sam WitWicky: Father-son thing...

Judy Witwicky: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or...

[Megatron notices some humans near him]

Megatron: Disgusting!

[revolted, he flicks one of them away]

THE AVENGERS
Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.

Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!

Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.

Thoe: He's adopted.

Tony Stark: What's the stat, Rogers?

Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!

Tony Stark: ...well, you're not wrong.

Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.

Steve Rogers: We won.

Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did

Loki: I have an army.

Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.

Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?

Thor: You listen well, brother. I...

[Thor is knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackles him in mid-flight]

Loki: I'm listening.

[Stark suits up to chase Thor and Loki]

Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!

Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!

Security Guard: Are you an alien?

Bruce Banner: What?

Security Guard: From outer space, an alien.

Bruce Banner: No.

Security Guard: Well then son, you've got a condition.

Agent Phil Coulson: [via phone] Mr Stark, we need to talk.

Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.

Agent Phil Coulson: This is urgent.

Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently.

[Coulson enters Stark's penthouse, hanging up his cellphone]

Tony Stark: Security breach.

Tony Stark: [to Pepper] That's on you.

Agent Phil Coulson: Mr Stark.

Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in.

Tony Stark: "Phil?" Uh, his first name is "Agent."

Natasha Romanoff: [watching the aliens come toward them] This is just like Budapest all over again.

Clint Barton: You and I remember Budapest very differently.

Thor: Do not touch me again!

Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff.

Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with.

Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?

Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice.

Tony Stark: He gives up the Cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of the way, tourist.

Nick Fury: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.

Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand.

Steve Rogers: I do!

[Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself]

Steve Rogers: I understood that reference.

Tony Stark: [Covering his eye, looks around] How does Fury even see these?

Maria Hill: He turns.

Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting.

Natasha Romanoff: [all arguing in the lab] Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.

Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch?

Natasha Romanoff: We ALL are!

Tony Stark: [to Rogers] You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?

Steve Rogers: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you...

Tony Stark: Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened!

World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.

Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?

Tony Stark: Funny things are.

Steve Rogers: We have orders, we should follow them.

Tony Stark: Following's not really my style.

Steve Rogers: And you're all about style, aren't you?

Tony Stark: Of the people in this room, which one is A - wearing a spangly outfit and B - not of use?

Tony Stark: [to Steve Rogers] I'm not afraid to hit an old man.

SUPERNATURAL
Dean Winchester: Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who look at me like that, I got laid.

Gabriel: Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks.

Castiel: Hey, Ass Butt!

Samuel Campbell: Either we got monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew or we got a bunch of psychotic yokels grabbing babies to make baby stew. Either way, it's baby stew, which is bad.

Dean Winchester: I'm pretty sure there's some kind of paste or jelly you're supposed to put on their butt.

Dean Winchester: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.

Sam Winchester: So you've been hunting UFOs for over three decades and you basically have no concrete data and zero workable leads. Have you ever considered the possibility that you suck at hunting UFOs?

Dean Winchester: Fight the fairies! You fight those fairies! Fight the fairies!

Castiel: It's very complex. If the pizza man truly loves the babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong.

Castiel: I learnt that from the pizza man.

Dean Winchester: Accidents don't just happen accidentally.

Dean Winchester: I observe with my eyes.

Dean Winchester: Without your powers your basically just a baby in a trench coat.

Castiel: Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.

Emily: What's a Kardashian?

Dean Winchester: Oh, that's just another bloodsucker.

Castiel: I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?

Dean Winchester: I guess standing next to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to purgatory.

Meg: Would it kill you to watch a movie, read a book?

Castiel: A movie, no. But a book, with the proper spells, yeah, it could theoretically kill me.

Dean Winchester: I never trust a guy who wears sweaters.

Harry: The lore says Thinman hangs out by trees and the Woods is where trees hang out.

CrowleyYou betrayed me? No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with.

Dean Winchester: Game of Thrones is complicated. Shower sex, that's complicated. Hell ain't complicated.

Sam Winchester: What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!

Sam Winchester: I lost my shoe.

Dean Winchester: Can I shoot her?

Sam Winchester: Not in public.

Sam Winchester: No, we have guns and we will find you.

Sam Winchester: You're confusing reality with porn again.

Sam Winchester: Dean this is a serious investigation, we don't have time for your blah blah blah blah blah BLAH