Ferail Poll: Who should be the three tail container Vote Now! |
 Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and Prototype. you know i just copy pasted this bastard of a profile onto a blank word document yesterday...ITS ONE HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN PAGES LONG...HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!!)( MOTHER F@& ITS GROWING ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN PAGES...) (im so sorry aparently my profile so huge it causes some computers to freeze... dont know whether i should feel proud or cry) Name: i'm not telling you, but if you have to call me something i go by Ferail Slade sometimes Nationality: North American Age: 22 Sex: Male Height: 5' 9" (most of my friends are in the six foot range, i feel extremely short sometimes) Weight: 190 lbs Eyes: brown with this odd purple ring around the border between the scelera and the iris, i just noticed this, i dont know if its always been there and i just wasn't paying attention (as usual) or what. Hair: brown, shaggy and curly Birthday: July 4th, 1990 (i blow stuff up on my birthday YAH) (did i just make a deidara reference?) Likes: reading, video games, philosophy class, drawing (i'm not good but its fun) Dislikes: the odd random firing of my brain that comes up with some rather odd things, the fact that i don't own a home computer and have to do everything from a laptop that recently exploded (which is why i havent updated in forever, i have to use a school computer) Favorite bands: Seether, Disturbed, Ozzy Ozbourne, panic at the disco, Sixx:AM, System of a Down, Flyleaf, Three Days Grace,Linkin Park,10 years, Black Sabbath, Breaking Benjamin, Nickleback,Element Eighty, Elefant, Foreigner, Krokus, Megadeth, Metallica, slipknot, sick puppies, AFI, Alien ant farm, apokalyptika, arrogant worms, black light burns, blind guardian, Dope, drowning pool, Faktion, Godsmack, Green day, halestorm, Incubus, Kid Rock, Korn, Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson, Mudvayne, non point, outlaws. papa roach, pillar, puddle of mudd, raffi, rise against, saliva,shinedown, simple plan, the offspring,trapt, type O negative, Zebrahead, a few game and anime albums, and an assortment of random songs and artists Favorite Quotes (these things come from everywhere, most of them i don't remember who said them, this is the abridged version i have like 87 pages of this junk somewhere on my computer) “The Wolf represents overconfidence. He is inclined to let his prey have a head start, only to bound farther and faster than the prey. But the Wolf ignores the long run. Someday, something will be faster than the Wolf and will not give him a head start.” —The Deck of Ages "I really don't trust a sane person." Lyle Alzado "Live for nothing, or die for something." EVER RUNNING THROUGH THE NIGHT , HUNTING THOSE WHO DO BETRAY, I HUNT ALONE WITH DEATHS MIGHT , BLOOD LUST IS THE ONLY WAY, FOR THIS IS MY FATE Every Warrior's dream is that he is Never Needed. "... That's just what we need now: some sensational story in the papers making these boys out to be superheroes, triumphing over evil. Let me squash the rumours now. These two are not heroes. They're just two ordinary men who were put in an extraordinary situation and they just happened to come out on top. Yes, nothing from our far-reaching computer system has turned up diddly on these two. All we know is what we found out from the neighbours, and the general consensus is, they're angels. But angels don't kill..."- Boondock Saints, 1999 "do not burn that bible" "if you have a better way of declaring war on God id love to hear it 'Fight. Die. Or somehow win. There is no room for cowardice here.' "You're mad.""Well thank goodness for that, or this probably wouldn't work." "A Man chooses, a Slave obeys." There is always a cost for power, whether you know it or not. "I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbors dog." - Dwight Schrute I laugh in the face of danger, then hide till it goes away- Xander Harris "Remember to believe in magic...or I'll kill you." - MST3K say hello to my little friend" holds up a bunny "now say hello to his larger and angrier friend" krunch smashes into them i would like the words ass hole, cock sucker, fuckity, dumb ass, and any other combination of profanities and insults that can be strung together on the spot to be said at my funeral a minimum of seventy three times... id also like my tombstone to be shaped like a man sized hand giving everyone the middle finger with the words fuck you engraved in bold on the front- ferail i have called my friends at four in the morning to find out how tall a person would be if their hand was six foot tall from the base of the palm to the tip of the middle finger so i could have a decent grasp of where i should put the giant stone penis on my final resting place... id like the words fuck you all written along the giant schlong...- ferail id just like everyone to know...that if you own or ride in a vehicle of any kind... i fucking hate you... not the damage your doing to the environment but rather your stunning inability to work the two ton death machines you have been gifted with... now get out of the god damned left lane if your going under the speed limit or i swear to god the next thing your going to see is the hospital emergency room after ive put my chevy through your tiny peice of shit... im not stopping to check if your alive either, im going to drive off calling the ambulance about a crash i just witnessed.- Ferail COURAGE: Staring down certain death instead of the much smarter idea of running away. Coming this fall: "The Melancholy of HOLYCRAPWHATISTHAT-miya" "You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles." -Unknown. Nice guys finish last; smartasses stand on the sidelines and laugh. 'Never mess with the guy in the corner having a quiet drink,' her imagination rasped. 'Like as not that bastard is the most deadly guy in the place.' Have you noticed that people can sometimes do the impossible because they don't know it's impossible? "In Exalted, there's no such thing as impossible; merely varying degrees of awesome." - Waltermandias To be is to do- Socrates To do is to be- Sartre Do be do be do- Sinatra What does not learn does not change. What does not change does not live. What does not live does not die. it's hard to surprise or shock me, but I still do wonder "what the hell?" quite a bit. Because seriously, just what the hell do some people think they're doing? How the hell do certain things make sense to anyone? "Unless you are prepared yourself to profit by your chance, the opportunity will only make you ridiculous. A great occasion is valuable to you in proportion as you have educated yourself to make use of it." -Orison Swett Marden Aussitot dit, Aussitot fait is French and it translates to: No sooner said than done. 'When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy' 'Like a fiend in a cloud, With howling woe, After night I do crowd, And with night will go; I turn my back to the east, From whence comforts have increas'd; For light doth seize my brain With frantic pain' "I hope our wisdom will grow with our power, and teach us, the less we use our power the greater it will be." -Thomas Jefferson "Maybe you're right. It's just... that seems like overkill.""As a very wise man once said, there's no such thing as 'overkill,' only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'""What wise man said that?""Dunno, actually, but this wise guy agrees." "The first rule of chess is Patience Above All Else." Professor McStutter (Harry forgot what his real name was) yelped, "TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON!" and promptly fell over. Hopefully dead, but the rest of the school was screaming and freaking out too loudly for him to go check. They never let him have his corpses – uh, that is, fun. Yes. They never let him have fun. Move along, nothing to see here. Ask me no questions, I'll probably still lie. "Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy." "Each of us, in the journey through mortality, will travel his own Jericho Road. What will be your experience? What will be mine? Will I fail to notice him who has fallen among thieves and requires my help? Will you? Will I be one who sees the injured and hears his plea, yet crosses to the other side? Will you? Or will I be one who sees, who hears, who pauses, and who helps? Will you?" -Thomas S. Monson Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway. You've seen it! You can't unsee it! is it still a mutiny if im the only one- rayne summers Well I'm not gonna hit ya...I'm not gonna hit ya...the HELL I'm not!!" I have only two regrets: I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun." President Andrew Jackson A lie told often enough becomes the truth.Lenin (1870 - 1924) "What you need is sustained outrage… there's too much unthinking respect given to authority."-Molly Ivins "Ab, wait! Rule Two!"The slayer skidded to a halt and nodded. Xander had hammered his rules into each of his slayers' heads, hard enough that it actually managed to override slayer instincts about half the time. Rule One was simple: Stay alive. Rule Two was equally simple: Peace through superior firepower. And always bring a gun to a sword fight. Or - as one of his slayers, a former missionary before the Call, put it - "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition." Where were you planning on shooting him from, the fucking moon? If you had backed up any further you'd have had to mail him the bullets. "The Brave may not live long enough but the Cautious do not live at all." "That's what I like about you Gnarly, you don't take sides; you just like to see everyone else get dicked over. Now, I might have a side by default, but its good to see someone who can appreciate anyone, even the stupid monkeys, getting in a good lick now and then," Tzintchi notes appreciatively. "You're all equally beneath me… although in your case, you're more equal than others," WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN. "Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives." "Arbiter, tell me a story..." Does your mother sew?... BOOM! get her to sew that!" "Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." Yo you might wanna wear a helmet so you don't make a mess when I BLOW YO MIND! Ask not for whom the bell tolls mortal! It tolls for me. Buckle your mind man. Cause its about to get...blown. I can't belive this you a fraud! Oh man its like goin to heaven and finding god smokin crack! In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.' ANTIDEPRESSANTS WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL!!!! "First I whip it out! Then I thrust it! With great force! Every angle...! Is penetrated! Until...! With great strength...! I... ram it in! In the end, we are all satisfied...you are set free."-dante devil may cry 4 though she hated to admit it, Kyuubi knew that there were times when sex was best left on the backburner, if not striken from thought altogether. REJOICE FOR VERY BAD THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN- richard the web comic looking for group He decided that, in the spirit of Halloween (that is, make as much chaos as humanly possible with making the universe explode from sheer awesome), Be the kind of woman who, when her feet hit the ground in the morning, the Devil says, "Oh crap, she's awake!" Things to do in new york city: violate the statue of liberty" "i think you mean visit" "nope dont think i did" "what are you doing" "thinking before i act, frankly i dont much care for it" Why is every card in this deck a fucking FAIRY TALE?! "you cannot even begin to fathom the immensity of the f#ck i do not give." - Obediah Rinehart worthy That’s the great thing about being a wizard. I can always tell myself, honestly, that things could be worse. -- Harry Dresden, Fool Moon "Victory needs no explanation, defeat allows none." A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other human invention in history…with the possible exception of handguns and tequila. – Mitch Ratcliffe I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.-Dr. Seuss Some say the world will end in fire, I'm not insensitive; I just don't care. "The universe began with a word. But which came first: the word or the thought behind the word? You can't create language without thought, and you can't conceive a thought without language, so which created the other, and thus created the universe?" -Lorien, from Babylon 5 (1994-1999) -If life were a video game then my LIMIT BREAK would involve the Babylonian Goddess Lilitu, a Kuiper Belt object and a succubus getting me out of the way just in the nick of time. It takes four hours and you can't skip any of the cutscenes. It is a mistake to underestimate a bard. They have gather information as a class skill, so they know where you live. “Can your brain handle what it’s seeing right now?”“Nope.”Rodney talking to Jake If you are up to no good, please do no good for me too, okay? The pen is mightier than the swordThat may be, but a well tossed type writer packs a pretty good punch too. And be wary of a day when no soul can compensate for another soul at all…and no intercession is accepted from it, and no ransom is taken from it…And they will not be helped. – The Holy Koran – Which are you trying to drink…the water or the wave? - John Fowles, ‘THE MAGUS’ – And the wild regrets and the bloody sweats, none knew so well as I…That he who lives more lives than one, more than one shall die. – Oscar Wilde – Do you think that they can impale the soul on their knives? That if they cut deep enough, they can extract its dream, naked and writhing and screaming, from its head? - Neil Gaiman’s SANDMAN – I turn away from stars that may have burned out aeons ago. I no longer wish to look at them. I no longer wish to look at dead things. – Dr. Manhattan in Alan Moore’s ‘Watchman’ – Faithless are those who bid farewell when the road darkens. – J.R.R. Tolken Anyone in the United States today who isn’t paranoid must be crazy. – Robert Anton Wilson – All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. – Alan Moore’s “The Killing Joke” Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely, or to think sanely under the influence of great fear. – Bertrand Russell you know when i look at you i feel something i have not felt in a long time, maybe its hope maybe its indegestion, either way i feel it Samurai with chain guns battling girls with swords in skimpy clothes while dragons destroy stuff? Why yes, I will buy your movie ticket. All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream. – Edgar Allen Poe “But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.“Oh you can’t help that,’ said the cat. ‘We’re all mad here. I’m mad, you’re mad.”“How do you know I’m mad?” Said Alice.“You must be,” said the Cat, “Or you wouldn’t have come here.”-Lewis Carroll-‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’ Solve a man's problem with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime! "Why? I mean sure, it won't be all that easy, but, I mean you built the one they're looking at." Stuart shook his head. "I built it from standard easily obtained parts. It would be more honest to say that I assembled it. What they're proposing to do is start with the raw materials and build a machine from scratch. I know I couldn't do that with one of our computers… But, they do have Harry on their side, and Tony could probably build a computer just using a pile of sand and an old pair of shoes I suspect. there is no word in the human languages for how thoroughly,inescapably screwed you are. There might be one in Eldar, though. They're arseholes like that. vodka and cnn a winning combination a follower simply because it was too much of a hassle to lead she would be easy to sway to his plan of world domination, a plan he had just come up with approximately thirty minutes ago -Voldemort is nearly invincible to idiots like Harry Potter, but all the magic in the world won't save you when Kincaid puts a bullet in your throat from 2000 feet with a sniper rifle.- Sleep eternal soft it "Snake. Castle. Superweapon. Boom. Now. Okay?" Ranma said seriously as his commanding officer stood up. "Boom. Good. Car. Go." Snake nodded, and then both men turned and calmly headed toward the garage. 'It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.' Justin Timberlake never needed to bring sexy back. I've been here for 17 years! "Of course, in a situation like this, I really have no choice but to fall back on my usual principles. Violence and explosions." "What can I say Moony? Like a fine wine, I've matured with age." A smile crossed the lips of the dog animagus. "And another aspect I share with a fine wine; I enjoy being drunk." a message from mia "I LIEK POINTY THINGS" Also, I can kill you with my brian." -- River Tam; Firefly. “You'll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning. The act of losing, however, can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh... how much more enjoyable it is to win. It's inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it.“ - from A Good Year (2006 The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.” A boy stole my heart one Valentine's Day, ive got the whole world in my pants" " i think you mean in your hands" "not even remotely" - web comic least i could do "you didnt have to cut every wire" "the guy with the axe makes the decisions" -rayne and his halucination "How do you get a makeshift warhammer?""Chair""Alright, then what about the battleaxe?""Broken Chair." "Kill one you're a murderer...kill many you're a conquerer...kill them all...you're a god."- John Rostand A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. -John D. Rockefeller "Time heals all wounds, but fire can stop them from bleeding. “He hit me. With a tree!” —A dazed Krusk 'War is my master, death is my mistress.' i think i just sold my soul to the devil" "and twos your change" Tony Stark, Billionaire industrialist, Genius level IQ, if it can be made, he's got 2. If it can't be made, he's only got the prototype. Secretly (at the time of the story) Ironman. The Ironman Armor is form fitting Mech, with flight capabilities (ground to orbit with auxiliary boosters) near infinite defensive capabilities, many many offensive capabilities. "i crossed the line didnt i" "You told the line to go fuck itself then got its mom pregnant" "With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." -Keshavan Nair- “Good tools make your work easier, whether your chosen occupation is war or peace. Choose your tools carefully” —Soveliss "You have to become your prey, with every fiber of your being. You have to devote yourself entirely to ending, and taking their life. You have to think like them, you have to breathe with them. And finally, know them as good as they know themselves." Yami: get off me Jacob! I never liked you in the books, and I damn certain I won't like you in the movies! kills the wolf and that is why...you will always be a little bitch. "We definitely hurt it..." Junko mumbled. "How else do you expect to improve your rank? Archons gain status by how many evil beings they slay; demons increase in rank and power by killing other demons. It's killing two birds with one sword.""Don't you mean, "Two birds with one stone?"", Naruto asked."Well if you want to try killing him with a stone, go for it. It had better be a big rock, I mean a big ass rock, just a huge fucking rock.""Blood... are you high or something?", Naruto asked, finding the hybird's words slightly comedic."Battle high. It'll pass... wasn't even a real battle.""What did you do?""Dropped a rock on him.""... a big rock?""A big ass rock.""Just a huge fucking rock?""Yep." "When somebody asks me a question, I tell them the answer. " - from Slumgdog Millionaire (2008) Where the vast cloudless sky was broken by one crow, I sat upon a hill - all alone - long ago; But I never felt so lonely and so out of God's way, as here, where I brush elbows with a thousand every day. –Harry Kemp it was easier to blame shit on dead people; it wasn't like they could defend themselves To cheat and not to be found out is cunning, to cheat and be found out is simply careless. "Come on let's dance... aw yeah don't be afraid." "Hurry up! You can make it! Oh! Run to her and hug her tight!" "O, it's so delicious." "Just wild heaven." "Don't stop dancing." "Ouch! Are you serious?" "I'll be back." "One, two, here we go let's dance!" "Hey, yo, check this out! It's a moonwalk, it's a moonwalk! Head spin!" "Trap." "It's my turn. Get chance and luck! Hooowoohahaaaaaaaa!" "He can't dance in my world right now. Don't let me cry!" "In the mountain." "Easy come, easy go!" "Wooo! Here we-" "Scrambled it trouble down." "Woah! Dancing in the shadow!" "It's a carnival and everyone is invited." 'Tastyyyyyyy CANDY!!' a very good measure of how good your friends are is how much you can insult them without them taking offence After all, who needed to waste time getting a cat scan when there was someone that almost sort of knew what she was doing? "The crack of doom is coming. Let it come, it doesn't matter…" Monad is indeed a dangerous place… Do not enter if you value your life… After all the stuff I've done over this year, does anyone actually think I value my life?Even one such as I dare not venture into that place… It is foolish to even consider it…I laughed. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." I quoted. "And the angels are all in heaven, but few of the fools are dead." I turned to everyone else. "I'm about to charge headfirst into this death trap." I announced. "Who's stupid enough to come with me?" "explain our noble intentions to him," "can do... I MEAN YOU HARM" "no you mean him NO HARM NO HARM" "really. that doesnt sound like me" Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain.Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh;Let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones;Let him fracture your bones and you take his not be concerned with escaping safely lay your life before himA good martial artist does not become tense but ready Not thinking yet not dreaming, ready for whatever may come.A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and face the consequences of his own have no technique, there is no opponent, because the word "I" does not exist. When the opponent expands I contract.When he contracts, I expand.And when there is an opportunity, "I" do not hit."It" hits all by itself The cautious seldom err. - Confucius "I have heard that in war, 'Haste can be folly' But Have never seen Delay that was wise. "I need you to say the things I can't say, and you need me to do the things you can't do." - from Talk to Me (2007) Just because Edward Cullen can't get a job, doesn't mean I can't. "After all, immoral porn sells. Wonder if how much money I can make just taping my day to day life on camera? If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun "I'll kick your ass, eat your food, and kick you ass again." - The Fifth Rider of Armageddon "The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug." - Chris Hedges Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." - John Wayne "If you don't go into the tiger's den you can't get the cub" - a famous Japanese saying "There are two types of humans...pigs who feed on human rights, and starving wolves! And wolves love to feast on fat pigs!" - Riki-Oh "I'm one of those really bad things that happens to undeserving people." "If every fool had a crown, we would all be kings." "I see your playing stupid again. And it looks like you’re winning." “What's the point of being a writer or an artist anyway? Herman Melville wrote fuckin' Moby Dick, he was so poor and forgot by the time he died that in his obituary they called him Henry Melville. You know, like why bother? They're just going to forget our fuckin' names anyway.” - from Adventureland (2009) "It takes real guts to admit you're a coward." Shit happens, find a toilet Life’s a bitch, put it on a leash. If hate breeds more hate, then wear a rubber and hate all you want. Who says beggars can’t be choosers, I could have just robbed you When life throws you lemons, cut’em open and squirt the juice in its eye. "Remember, remember / The fifth of November / The gunpowder treason and plot. / I know of no reason / Why the gunpowder treason / Should ever be forgot". But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes, and I know that, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it or hold it. Ideas do not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man who made me remember the fifth of November. A man I will never forget. You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust. Alright I have a plan...No, I don't know why that fills people with terror. But trust me, this one should work. When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back. When life throws you lemons, throw them at someone else. If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting. Whoever came up with ‘Sticks and stones...’ obviously didn’t take into account the viciousness of today’s youth. When life throws you lemons, throw them back twice as hard. When life gives you shit…Put it in a bag and set it on fire. Berger: We read five times that you were killed, in five different places. Well, my plan is pretty simple. While I draw breath, I stand. While I stand, I fight. While I fight, I prevail. Nothing shall stay our wrath. For we are Ultramarines; Son's of Guilliman. …Sigh. Sometimes I think that Warhammer 40,000 is less of a crapsack world than ours. At least they can fight against the eldritch abominations that threaten their species. "...Uh...But mama, I don't want to go to school today." Everyone still conscious looked at him and began to laugh. "Aye thought Aye drank him under tha table, not to school," Gar said between laughs. "Hey lad, how drunk are ye?" "Hold on a second," Naruto said before lifting his hand and spreading all five fingers. "There are...fifteen fingers up." He looked to the three bottles he had emptied himself, "My tolerance seems to 've gone down. I'm gonna call it." He got up and walked away, barely even stumbling. "That'sh drunk," Gar demanded after him. "Ya ain't drunk until you can't shtand without pashing out! Like thish!" Gar stood up and slumped to the floor. It's like she can't help herself, she has to commit one crime against nature every Loop. Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies. “Once upon a time in a border town Captain Renault: In 1935, you ran guns to Ethiopia. In 1936, you fought in Spain, on the Loyalist side. My friends give my super-strength, which I use to throw my friends into things. I'm a very circular person. i dont do touchy-feely i do ouchy-bleedy He was going to track down that kid that slit his throat and thank him for giving him the opportunity to go were he never thought he would be able to. Of course, he was going to die somewhere in the thank you process. “This forest is our home. We derive strength from its roots. You do not, unless we say so.”—Vadania Then I noticed I was still holding the key from my dream. Yep, things can only get awesome from here :i know your trying to help but remember a prostitute cannot solve all of lifes problems" "... what about two" Yvonne: Where were you last night? "So anyway, I yelled Swiss cheese and ran to hide behind the couch…" Harry stared at the walker in silence as the mutants exchanged confused looks. "And what exactly does that have to do with my having two wands?" "Wands?" Now it was the Planeswalker's turn to look confused. "I thought we were talking about why I can't play hide and seek…" It came to me in a drunken dream... I think... or hangover. I don't really remember.” Major Strasser: What is your nationality? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free. I shall die here. Every inch of me will perish. Every inch but one. An inch... It is small, and fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that, whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and things get better. But I hope most of all that you understand that even though I will never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. we're ninja. We're already dead. Everyone's afraid when the go into combat, hell there's even a small part of me that's afraid, it's an instinctual reaction to it. It was hope that you would come out of it alive that caused you to freeze. Like I said, were already dead, you just need to accept that and you will be able to do so much more. All you have to be aware of it so you don't needlessly throw your life away. Just remember that while you may die, use your anger at the fact that they are trying to take away everything that you love away from you and use it to rip them apart." to a ninja, a knife is just a quarter pound of diplomacy, id like to roll to take out my dagger and get diplomatic all over his ass- me while playing my first game of dnd... i never was good at diplomacy...didnt help that i was a lizardman druid "Forgive me. I shall walk with frost and fire/ death and snow, but I will live."–La Muerta by Pablo Neruda go through with this plan and they will not find your body in a dumpster... theyll find your body in several dumpsters futility: when the stupid just doesnt go away "On my Earth, we call that invasion of privacy." "We call it a Tuesday." I'm on their blacklist - their roll of honor! lifelong fear of toast in 3...2...1... and now" TOAST POPS sometimes when watching for danger you look in the wrong direction "I'm pleased to see you to, but I've told Ginny, and I'll tell you, against popular belief the great James Canis does need air." what does it say about my character that i find him a little less horrifying everyday" "nothing good" "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right."-thomas paine Ideas are bulletproof. "Not exactly an easy thing to work on, not like rocket science or quantum physics." The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff." -Ambrose Bierc "The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him... Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsaving the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. [laughs] Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me "V". People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people. "I dare do all that may become a man; Who dares do more is none." (Macbeth 1.7.47-48) "Conceal me what I am, and be my aid "When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." There are no courts in this country for men like Prothero. Penny for the guy? Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine — the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than 400 years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot. [Talking to Inspector Finch, Posing as William Rookwood: You already have the information. All the names and dates are inside your head. What you want, what you really need, is a story...Our story begins, as the stories often do, with a young up-and-coming politician. He is a deeply religious man, and a member of the conservative party. He is completely single-minded, and has no regard for political process. The more power he obtains, the more obvious his zealotry, and the more aggressive his supporters become. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of national security. At first, it's believed to be a search for biological weapons, and is pursued without regard to its cost. However, the true goal of this project is power: complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently. But the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new way to wage war is borne from the blood of one of the victims: imagine a virus, the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you, and you alone, have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It's at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience, for whom the ends always justify the means, and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country, but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximise the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Fueled by the media, fear and panic spread quickly, fracturing and dividing the country, until at last the true goal comes into view: before the St. Mary's crises, no one would've predicted the results of the election that year, no one. And then not long after the election, lo and behold, a miracle! Some believed it was the work of God Himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members that made them all obscenely rich. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed, while a memorial is built to canonise their victims. But the end result, the true genius of the plan, was the fear. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government, and through it, our politician was appointed to the newly created position of High Chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history... A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having. you know i just realized...i need mind soap for my own porn collection, but since i keep scrubbing it out everytime i see it i dont know what it is so i cant just delete whatever the problem- OHDEARCUKINGGODCHRIOSTBUDDHACOCKITYSHITTTUTYFUCKWHATISTHIS!@!@!@!@#!@!22142#!@@#!!#13!@#!#5613!!-...dont ask just don't this is from a conversation i had with anthony after i handed him my thumb drive "Congratulations. You just graduated from a retard to an idiot." Damn...I have no idea how to answer that. Let's check my standard responses. Become Hokage: That's not going to work here. Ramen: Wait what? Even I can't connect those two together. And my thought processes made a psych ninja cry once. Or it could've been the hot sauce in his tea. I'm not sure. Orange: Same as Ramen really. I've accepted that seals are essentially the ninja way of saying 'fuck reality, we're doing it anyway' but I still don't understand them. wolf: how dare you mock my beliefs prepare to die!! yami: i only called your religion silly and borderline beastiality. can't we settle this with a friendly children's card game instead? Fighting to control himself he repeated Rule 14. You must not kill your allies. You must not kill your allies. You must not kill your allies. But it doesn’t say anything about maiming them.(nope i think thats rule 15) Trust me, Burnie. You'll need the support of your followers. This way they won't kill you in your sleep. Hell, they might even give you fair warning. ... Good luck! "What's so great about being lazy, you ask? What if war were declared and nobody showed?" Garfield "I am not five! I am a full grown man with man parts!" Jiraiya cheered, making a disgusting notion with his hand. "You want to see?" Affection: the reason i prefer to stare at you unkindly from across the room we are one deep fat fryer away from happiness Fly my pretty, fly. Kill all the...Wait, not me! Now would be a great time for it to be a holigram. You know there was a time when pharoahs were respected and feared, not devoured. I told you, I'm not a dentist. not stalking.just watching you... always who needs a spine when you can do this (bends till can see own ass) “The Brine Lord’s coral castle is surrounded by hungry sharks. He calls the toothy creatures to his home, then lets them roam free. He doesn’t bother controlling them; something always comes by to make the sharks want to stay.” —Soveliss “If I didn’t know you, I’d think you’re flirting with me.”“You don’t know me,” he said. “...exactly.” Remember the closer to the light you walk, the hotter it gets. The light is a flame seeking to burn all of what it arbitrarily decides is bad. The darkness is a cool comfort. However it seeks to consume everything and bring everything to neutrality. Feel free to walk closer to the light, but do not burn us who reside in the dark. Feel free to walk closer to the dark, but let us keep our choice if we walk by the light. I see London, I see France, I see that wolf's has no underpant Oh look a wolf in n apron, what next, Kaiba beating me in a card game? Who the hell smokes a freaking bomb?! "Okay, you can quit it with the maniacal laughter now, brat," said Anko. "Only one crazy person per team allowed and it isn't you." Three things that can never be recalled; a loosed arrow, a cast spell, and a secret revealed. 'I'm bored…and boredom is the first step on the road to trouble. Damn ADD…' "How terrible is wisdom, when it brings no profit to the wise?" So Kyuubi killed them…”The larger man let out a sigh, “No kid, I killed them. When you take command of others, their lives are yours to guard, if the enemy kills one, it’s because you put them in the wrong place. If they get sick, you didn’t take care of them. If they get hurt, and don’t receive treatment, then you didn’t heal them.” Outside the sun was starting to rise, a sight John had grown much too familiar with of late for his liking. Mornings, so far as he was concerned, existed to keep night and afternoon from running into each other, and were best faced by being slept through. Yami: "You're not my grandmother! She is much hairier! and also egyptian..." “What? What do you mean ‘don’t move’?” “Nature is by definition uncontrollable. At best you can attempt a momentary influence, but even that is subject to the whims of nature.” —Vadania Sanity is detrimental to the cause" 'Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead' “Sometimes my mind just gets in the way. Sometimes not.” —Krusk “Time flows like a river. All our sufferings, these are just pebbles in the riverbed.“ —Vadania Risk vs Reward... choose wisely "Great. Not only am I having an argument with myself, I'm losing." “There’s a logic to chaos. Hit 'em with everything. you've got. Hit ’em fast, hit 'em hard, hit'em till they stop moving. That’s logic.” —Krusk sanity is determined by the majority and i keep telling you guys if you counted my multiple personalities id have the best definition ever- ferail "And you said polymorph wouldn't work on a dragon." The blood knight looked at him, still afraid. "Fine, you're super, elite, and rock, can we run now?" A fanged sheep as tall as a building was standing before them, growling as it looked down at them."Sure, no one ever lets me bask in my posthumous awesomeness." "An elf is never late," she replied. "Nor are we early, we arrive precisely when we mean to!" “They tickle and itch, but you get used to feathers. Never quite get used to the eggs, though.” —The druid Kelliana of Blue Tribe Well, I think that's enough class for today, Naruto-kun. We can continue to confuse you when the next thing comes up. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.– Friedrich Nietzsche. “Yeah. I love technology.” Cortana said with a smile. “You are technology.” Buffy said, one eyebrow raised (theres nothing wrong with a little self love right guys...especially not when it comes to cortana...) "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." Oscar Levant This is probably not going to wash off, is it? "Gasp. Are you suggesting that I'm anything other than demure and courteous with my fellow homo sapiens? 'Cause that calls your parenting techniques into question, you know." Tacos. -Everyone "There's no threatening the client, Naruto." "Really? Do you have that down on paper?""...No. I believe that it's mutual code of honor amongst shinobi.""No writing, no signature from the Hokage, no paperwork in general against threatening the client..." Naruto smiled in what Kakashi realized now was a false deception of innocence. "I rest my case." "And eventually I understood, with all that control, which was probably illusory, I wasn't progressing. So now I'm relinquishing a bit. I'll be a tiny bit naked." - Robert Pattinson the FBI and Pedobear are watching, but guess who is gonna get to you first? 'Die, die and die again. Be resurrected by your Dark Gods to be killed by me “Do unto others as they seek to do unto you.” —Soveliss We shall be stealthy like-- a massive dragon of water just destroyed a wall. Sensei's smirk deepens. You know, I have no idea why we call ourselves ninjas. Really I don't. "So, pretty much everything about politics is about people secretly being dicks to each other?" I ask. "Yep.""You know, that made a lot more sense then what the academy taught." If I owned Naruto, then I would have bought a weapons' facility and demanded that they make a twinkie gun that would turn anyone who I shot, into walking, talking twinkies that exploded upon being touched. Since I do not have such a weapon(one that would be feared by all…including wizards and witches) I guess I do not own Naruto…sad…I know…-deaths spear's disclaimer We take comfort in knowing there is no God. That you are not enslaved in a Heaven, made to kiss God's ass forever. What you have is better than paradise. You have blessed oblivion. I miss you every day.-Lecter Atheism is a non-prophet organization. – George Carlin What to do if you find yourself in trouble with no hope of rescue: "Kid, you have problems." Sensei says as we take off. "And you're an alcoholic." I retort. " "Touché. Now, do I have to choke a student?" he asks deadpan. "Does anyone have a drill, by any chance? I've always wanted a lobotomy, and now seems like the perfect time." Whatever doesn't kill me, better run fast." “I smell blood and bones and the whiff of fear.” —Soveliss "There are favors, and then there are favors." Eric from True Blood "Now that you mention it, I could get us free ones." Buffy spoke offhandedly. "Legally, even." "Ooh, free and legal? Tell me more of this fairytale." "You will find it a distinct help… if you know and look as if you know what you are doing." "Aw come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature. Tea cup humans." Eric from True Blood "Mental scar #572? Cataloged." "Well, this situation has gotten hairy. And by hairy, I mean creepy. And by creepy, I mean really hot..." "Sure, like we showed those robots back on Earth. As much as I like your 'rules of engagement' of shoot now, shoot later, shoot some more and when everybody is dead ask some questions, I don't think that starting a war is the best option right now." "A deranged animagus and a sexy, but insane vampire. I really need to pick my friends better." "Girlfriend." June corrected just before the flame whisked them to England. To limit the press is to insult a nation; to prohibit reading of certain books is to declare the inhabitants to be either fools or slaves." Mezuro Kaichi operated along a very simple principle... if your enemy underestimates you... don't give him the time to regret that decision. If he doesn't, bring to bear against him as much firepower as you can afford. The less your enemies can predict, the more off their reaction will be. . Hey, I know when I'm out of my weight class. I just don't care usually. 'This is why Evil -wins-, because Good is -DUMB-!' Question. Did that first sentence sound as sexual as I'm feeling like it did, or am I just running it through the wrong filter?" "Why can't I have a normal bloody family? No I have to have a werewolf and wanted murderer for Uncles, a niece of a Dark Wizard who wanted to make friends with E.T. for an wanna be motherly figure, and things varying from werewolf clans and Vampires offering marriage proposals and a crazy vampire girlfriend offering to turn me every few days" "I'm sure. But don't you think that was a bit...over the top?" Both Naruto and Nightmare turned to the demoness and cocked their heads to the side in confusion. "'Over...the...top'?" Naruto sounded the phrase out, as if he'd never heard it before. "...What's that mean?" Nightmare scratched the side of his helm. "...It means that you went too far." Kyuubi's left eye twitched a little. "..." "You know, excessive?" "Okay, now you're just making up words.""Do you have a dictionary for your ridiculous and nonsensical terms?" Naruto questioned.- black flames dance in the wind "Foreplay is never the answer i want to hear... no matter what the question is." I was once told by someone whom I can't remember that a shinobi's path is neither good nor evil. We walk the path of blood all for the sake of our land and our lords, doing whatever they demanded so long as we were able. But corruption of the soul is a fate that befalls the weak. Those whose souls are corrupted can never became one with themselves ever again. I can't remember who told me this but I guess it really doesn't matter. "I want to KILL you know, make sure it DIES you know, that little thing you don't know how to do," once is a pity, twice might be a coincidence, but three times is already a pattern. "What?, no greeting?, not even asking what I'm doing?", Ankiseth asked with a faked hurt voice "I would ask... but the possibilities scares the crap out of me... ignorance is a bliss, as some people say", Shinigami replied, still trying to keep his funky paused voice So anyway, the biggest problem I have with gravity is that you have to come down eventually. Now normally this isn't a problem for me, however in this case I was a couple hundred feet up. Maybe a little more, I'm not sure. "All of you promise not to drink, and I promise not to sell myself around town.- this has to be the most awkward way to keep your teen from drinking ever... "… That explains so many Halloween costumes," As to your first line of questioning--other than rewinding through every conversation we've ever had to see if you were flirting with me--I honestly couldn't care. "Well that went well. This is how everyone should have their awkward, relationship-changing conversations from now on." "By not knowing they're having 'em?" "I'll make you a deal. If I am ever on my death bed and the world still needs me, then you can turn me." He smirked at her excited face. "That doesn't mean you can put me on my death bed. Anyway enough, what would you say to a dance?" (james canis and a vampire Lady) "Technically we're both dead, I'm just deader." June told him. if you don't have time cause some damage. Great, so far I've had a marriage offer from a werewolf pack, an offer of eternal life from one of the sexiest girls my age I've ever met, and now a gay werewolf is coming on to me." The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully. – Richard Dawkins History teaches us that no other cause has brought more death than the word of god. – Giulian Buzila When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. – Robert Pirsig “There are lots of reasons to lie you know, but at the end of the day it amounts to one thing. We lie because we can.”“You lie a lot.”“I do. It’s a bad habit by now, a reflex. I’ll lie before I’ll ever tell the truth. Unimportant things, important things. I’ll lie about them all.” “I hate liars.” Desire is a powerful force that can be used to make things happen. -Marcia Wieder Nothing with that many tentacles should be acting like a puppy. Everybody breaks, Yuugao said quietly. You, me, your best friend - everybody. There’s only one rule – never break in the field. If you do, you and everyone depending on you will die. "Oderint dum metuant" Let them hate as long as they fear "If you have a dream, don't wait. Act." Axel from Kingdom Hearts 2 "One who knows nothing can understand nothing." Ansem(but not really) from Kingdom Hearts "I've been having these wierd thoughts lately...like is any of this for real or not?" Sora from Kingdom Hearts "Looks like today we're clockin' out early" Reno from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children "You know what this means?" "Less crimes against nature, more against humanity?" "I play the leading man, who else?" Balthier from Final Fantasy XII "Seasons change. Tastes change. But people... people never change." Dark Prince from Prince of Persia (Don't know if I agree with him, but he's much more awesome than the regular prince.) "If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... without passion, we'd be truly dead." Angelus from Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that Nancy Boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shaggin, knickers, bollocks... oh god...I'm English." Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer I should know just to listen to the voices in my head when he starts talking, anyway." "Why, what do the voices say?" "To burn things. And that we should go on a date tomorrow night after work.""I like whichever voice said the second thing. The first, not so much.""Yeah, that one's kind of a little scamp. We can be glad he's the submissive type." "Correct-o-mundo! There's a word I've never used before, and hopefully never will again" The Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who "Well, I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods. I've had the whole pantheon. But if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her!" Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who "… See, why do you do that?" asked Sasuke. "I say essentially the same thing you later say, but you call me wrong for some reason. Why is that?" Being hit by an auto is probably not fatal, but probably would fuck up your day regardless. "Laser screwdriver. Who'd have sonic?" The Master from Doctor Who "in fact I'd go so far as to say that, what this country really needs, right now, is a Doctor." The Master from Doctor Who "So, Earthlings. Basically... um... end of the world. HERE - COME - THE - DRUMS!" The Master from Doctor Who "And it's my job to steal and rob GRAAAAAAAAAAAVES!" Graverobber from Repo! The Genetic Opera If you're confused, you're paying attention. Tom Peters You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. "If you aren't part of the solution, then you are part of the problem." If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. "Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license." Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Operator! Give me the number for 911 - Homer Simpson Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources" "If the facts don't fit the story, change the facts" "Great spirits have always found great opposition in mediocre minds" A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. --Friedrich Nietzsche "Do you know that look women get when they want sex? ... No, me neither ..." "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh" "If complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bds'" "What are you ducking for? ... They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" -last words of General John Sedgwick, 1864 ... right before he was shot in the head by an enemy sniper If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming to high." -unknown The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true. When there's a will, I want to be in it. Can you get cornered in a round room? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown? Procrastinate now, don't put it off. "Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make." Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up. Why is a square meal served on round plates? Boldly Going Nowhere. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost? normal people worry me you say physco like it's a bad thing Crazy is a relative term in my family! Smile -- it confuses the enemy Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree. "I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole." I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas Women, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking. Drive carefully, 90of people are accidents. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty! "I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay." Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free! It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions. Always be who you are. Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter. If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff...I laugh again. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. Of all the diversions of life, there is none so proper to fill up its empty spaces as the reading of useful and entertaining authors. Joseph Addison He had read much, if one considers his long life; but his contemplation was much more than his reading. He was won't to say that if he had read as much as other men he should have known no more than other men. John Aubrey Books are men of higher stature; the only men that speak aloud for future times to hear. E.S. Barrett He that loves a book will never want a faithful friend, a wholesome counselor, a cheerful companion, an effectual comforter. By study, by reading, by thinking, one may innocently divert and pleasantly entertain himself, as in all weathers, as in all fortunes. Barrow Books are not men and yet they stay alive. Stephen Vincent Benet Books are masters who instruct us without rods or ferules, without words or anger, without bread or money. If you approach them, they are not asleep; if you seek them, they do not hide; if you blunder, they do not scold; if you are ignorant, they do not laugh at you. Richard De Bury Books are standing counselors and preachers, always at hand, and always disinterested; having this advantage over oral instructors, that they are ready to repeat their lesson as often as we please. Oswald Chambers A room without books is like a body without a soul. Marcus T. Cicero The world of books is the most remarkable creation of man nothing else that he builds ever lasts monuments fall; nations perish; civilization grow old and die out; new races build others. But in the world of books are volumes that have seen this happen again and again and yet live on. Still young, still as fresh as the day they were written, still telling men's hearts, of the hearts of men centuries dead. Clarence Day Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone? don't regret doing things, regret getting caught "I'm going to live life or die trying" "I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." –Anonymous OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO "I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose" "I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states" "It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility"! If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie! "Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!" “He’s totally lost. We’re gonna die.” Naruto sighed from behind Sakura.“I’m sure we’re fine. Kakashi-sensei has to know where we’re going. He has the map, right?” Sakura wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince herself or Naruto but she thought it might have been both.“…I agree with the moron.”Sasuke deadpanned as he walked by the two after Kakashi. "Would you really feel guilty?""No. But then I would feel guilty about not feeling guilty." Teyla: "Rodney, think of it this way, if something happened, which would be the greater loss?" Rodeny (to Sheppard): Hey, she's right! You should go!" How can I forget you A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favor.-Seneca Camron: "Well, you know what my Grandma alwasy used to say: If at first you don't succeed..." Carter: "Try a larger thermo neuclear detonation?" Camron: "Her words exactly." There is a tale in everyone’s lives, a precious pearl that you won’t find in anyone else.” Some People hear voices, and lock themselves up in rooms. Some people are called authors, and they pretty much do the same thing. Death ends a life, not a relationship.-Jack Lemmon The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." -Marcel Proust hey you know those comercials for twix, those need a moment things" "yeah" "totally works." (the start of a long and involved conversation me and a friend had about d and d, how the dms inability to talk freezes time, x-box achievments, stabbing elven women in front of town guards, and mystique... though she generally shows up in any conversation i have with him if it goes on for long enough) Forged in war, born of death, saved by love Death is so fun.-unknown Why So Seroius.-Joker from the minute you step on the battlefield, the moment you and your enemy decide to kill one another, you are one, their life is yours and your life is theirs, its just a matter of seeing whos piece gets spent first Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes.-Benjamin Franklin The boundaries between life and death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and where the other begins?-Edgar Allen Poe Death is so sweet-Unknown We all where Masks.-unknown He was at peace with himself and the world around him. It was nice he decided. All his life he had fought and railed against the universe, now, he merely moved with it, let it work and stopped fighting, he found his peace, he found his answer. Let the world fight, let it bled, let it cry and hurt. It was just a child. All children begin the same way. It would grow. Sooner or later, it would grow up and things would be better.He could only trust the future to the children now. Devils never cry.-Dante Devil may Cry.-Dante and Lady Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness. Evil! Evil! What's fucking evil about a shitload of bubbles!?-Ozzy Osbourne I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.-Ozzy Osbourne Every time I mention the vagina doctor, you get this little smirk on your face. What have you been up to?-Ozzy Osbourne I can honestly say, all the bad things that ever happened to me were directly, directly attributed to drugs and alcohol. I mean, I would never urinate at the Alamo at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening dress sober.-Ozzy Osbourne “If you take no risks, you will suffer no defeats. But if you take no risks, you win no victories.” I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all fucking mad.-Ozzy Osbourne I push this one button and the shower goes on and I think, where the fuck am I?-Ozzy Osbourne You haven't been playing doctors and nurses have you?-Ozzy Osbourne YOU BASTARDS.-Ozzy Osbourne I am who I fucking am.-Ozzy Osbourne Ozzy Osbourne is Bloody fucking magical.-David Singer What's your Fucking game.-Ozzy Osbourne “Using machine guns and high yield explosives is like sex, it's messy, loud, and it gets everywhere.” Kurebuki stated with a grin. Ranma sweatdropped, “What kind of sex have you been having?” "what the fuck does that mean?" "dunno i just strung a bunch of smart sounding terms, complete bullshit, random squiggles, and words i remembered from high school geometry together in the hopes that it would either confuse him so much he gave up or actually work... don't know which possibility id be more scared of." - a conversation between me and a friend of mine after i got frustrated and bull shitted an annoying middle school student into leaving me alone (i am a horrible teacher, and don't ask random people for help with your math, i was playing taxi for my sister and my friends that day) "The limits of my language are the limits of my world"- Ludwig Wittgenstein My throat hurts, so someone out there please laugh maniacally for me. “Good Old Bloody Mist,” Naruto commented. “Always liked that place. You have to respect people and places that wear their crazy on their sleeves where everyone can see.” "You take my life but I take yours too! You fire your musket, but I'll run ya through!" If he prepares to defend everywhere, everywhere will be weak.’ ‘Kissing my ass will get you nowhere but in my pants,’ "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." Chris Rock "All this has happened before, and it will happen again...again...again...again...again..." "Hybrid" - Battlestar Galactica: Razor "Team Jacob, 'cause REAL men don't sparkle." ?? "Am I pissing you off-fa-fa?" Peanut - Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity “Unfortunately it’s time for me to leave Tsunade-chan. I’ve got money that needs my finger prints on it…” "Time passes, people move like a river's flow, it never ends. A childish mind will turn to noble ambition, young love will become deep affection, the clear water's surface reflects growth." The Legend of Zelda "No Keys, No Problem!" - Mutant Hijacker (C&C Tiberian Sun/Firestorm) "We Are Generous." - Nuclear Cannon (C&C Generals/Zero Hour) "MARV Complete!" - MARV Supertank (C&C 3 Tiberium Wars: Kane's Wrath) "Death From Above!" - ORCA Bomber (C&C Tiberian Sun/Firestorm) "Your face, your ass... what's the difference?" - Duke Nukem (Duke Nukem 64) "I always knew if I got into a woman, it would involve machines, whips and oil." - Duke Nukem (Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project) "I lost a bomb, do YOU have it?" - Crazy Ivan (Red Alert 2/Yuri's Revenge) "Prepare for rolling blackout!" - Tesla Tank (Red Alert 2 RA2/Yuri's Revenge YR) "Right Between The Eyes!" - British Sniper (RA2/YR) "By the way... multiple missile launch detected..." - CABAL Computer-Assisted Biologically-Augmented Life-form (Tiberian Sun: Firestorm) ‘Oh yeah, I’m REALLY feeling the love here…this guy’s like a mini-Sasuke, only all the angst’s been compressed.’ - Naruto (Naruto: Gaiden by kyugan) I feel like I just got my head slammed into the locker at school, multiple times...by a steroid-addicted male gorilla named Sally... - Harry Potter (When A Phoenix Interferes) "We never had a choice. This world is too much noise." - Savior by Rise Against "Find peaceful spot, DESTROY IT!" - Harkonnen Inkvine Catapult (Emperor: battle for Dune) "And the days press on like crushing weights, for no man does it ever wait! Like memories of dying days that deafen us like hurricanes!" - Savior by Rise Against "You know what people say when you assume...you're just a bitch." Courtney - Two and a Half Men "(Edward) And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. (Bella) What a stupid lamb. (Edward) What a sick, masochistic lion." Twilight "Search your feelings Jeff-fa-fa...Dun-ham...dot coooooom!" Peanut - Juff Dunham: Spark of Insanity Though he once asked himself during his experiment, why he was doing such a thing considering that he had barely any knowledge about what he was doing. But then he silenced himself, saying that he had medic training and doctor certification... and a bottle of vodka. Which, apparently made everything make sense... somehow. Such reinforcement of positive qualities…well, perhaps it helped. Gaara wasn’t sure. He appreciated the sentiment, if nothing else. He wondered, though, just how honest it was. But, he supposed that if it had a positive effect (and judging by his teammates, it did), then honesty didn’t matter very much. In a world made up of lies, the white ones were not only accepted, but expected. "Everything's got a moral, if you can only find it." Duchess - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland "It is because of her...I'm able to continue fighting! It is because of her...that we are here now... That's why...I wish to create a future for her!" Chrno - Chrno Crusade "True Epic Failure is when you tell someone that you just failed at something, spell 'fail' wrong, smack yourself in the face for doing so and accidently poke your eye, fall over laughing at how much fail at life, trip down the stairs to tell someone else how you failed, forgot why you went there when you finally made it, worded it wrong TWICE when you finally remembered, then triped back up the stairs to facebook it and spell it wrong again!" Amanda Vatne (chibisansempei) If I determine the enemy's disposition of forces while I have no perceptible form, I can concentrate my forces while the enemy is fragmented. The pinnacle of military deployment approaches the formless. If it is formless, then even the deepest spy cannot discern it nor the wise make plans against it." "Smack me in the back of my head, wouldja? I think I got somethin' crazy lodged in my eye." Pietro ablidged the request, smacking Toad in the back of the head at supersonic speed. "Nope, still there." "It's better to go out with a bang than to fade away." Sgt Anchilles - The Last Sentinel "(Isabelle) Do you think mom and dad will be angry when they find out? (Simon) That you traded your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog, and dresses like the Child Hunter from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" City of Ashes "I am badass, and I acknowledge that you, too, are badass." Simon - City of Bones "Evil beware. We have waffles." Raven - Teen Titans "Being clinically insane makes life boring, but when Sis is with me life doesnt look so jaded anymore" "(Beast Boy) Remember when Killer Moth made an army of mutant moths and forced Robin to take his daughter to prom and he was like- bleh! -and you were like- rrr! -and Robin was like- smugh... -but then we found Killer Moth and I was like- Dude! -and Raven was like- zzzzzt! -and Cyborg was like- Boo-yah! -and we kicked his butt and the mutant moths turned back into these cute little wormy things? (Starfire) Um...yes?" Teen Titans "(Frodo) You're late. (Gandalf) A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to." The Lord of the Rings "You weren't just playing with fire , you soaked the matches in gasoline." "We're leaning on each other, or at least I can pretend/That we didn't lose it all again/It could have been different/It could've all been (the) same" David Cook - "Fall Back Into Me" "Why don't we wait...until the road is broken...before we give up?" Satella - Chrno Crusade "I will not let anything harm you. I will bear your weight...and not leave you by yourself." Chrno - Chrno Crusade "You had given me many things...We laughed and cried together... The first candy you gave me...even now, I can remember its flavor. The time has come to return the favor." Chrno - Chrno Crusade "Doesn't matter who it is...no one can get everything they wish for. There has to be some compromise. Let us enjoy being together...through the good times and the bad. Even though humanity will struggle endlessly, at least, they will not complain...and try to seek out that one best solution." Chrno - Chrno Crusade "Death doesn't stop love, it only delays it for a little while." Wesley - The Princess Bride "No matter who it is...not having to rely on others, and being able to reign over the 'worlds end'. But...the system tightly controls humanity, strips them of freedom, and the strength of their wings to fly... Government...religion...society... Whether it be God or Demon...it's all just a creation of someone's imagination. A method for binding humanity to society. That is what I hate the most!" Aion - Chrno Crusade "Someone once asked me, did I think I was the best future for my little girl...? No one in this world is perfect - heaven knows I'm not - but I love her more than anyone else in this world ever could. In the end, that's all that matters." Jensen Ames - Death Race "Pour me something tall and strong/Make it a hurricane before I go insane/It's only half past twelve/But I don't care/It's five'o'clock somewhere" Alan Jackson - "Five'o'clock Somewhere" (That's more like something to live by than an actual quote, but who really cares?) "...You can kiss your ass-teroid goodbye." Ellen Degeneres "I'd never given much thought as to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love sounds like a good way to go." Bella - Twilight “Do the world a favor: push a stupid person,” (preferably off a bridge) I have almost forgotten the taste of fears’ from William Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act Five, Scene Five. “Yosh! If Hokage-sama is cold, then I will use my chest and warm him with a most youthful embrace! Come Hokage-sama; come feel the manly chest of Maito Gai!” (THIS IS WHY SO MANY PEOPLE THINK YOU AND LEE ARE GAY GAI) Heh, if I'm going out, I gonna go out with a huge sexy bang.” Remember deception and distraction are a shinobi’s best friends, and to deceive your enemies you must first deceive your allies. “Is there anyone we can buy off on the inside of Nightstone?” Fox inquired. “There’s always someone you can buy for the right price,” Xanatos replied “My life hangs in the balance of my badassness versus your pathetic inability to relate to people. A lesser man might be worried.” All stories are lies. But good stories are lies made from light and fire. And they lift our hearts out of the dust, and out of the grave. - Martin Thole's son, from the comic Lucifer, issue 70, Fireside Tales "When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity." John F. Kennedy Be polite, be professional, and have a plan in place to kill everyone you meet. “I’m a ninja,” Kakashi explained, “and I associate with Naruto. I never rule anything out until it is definitely impossible and even then I wait a few weeks before declaring it so.” aurum est potestes (gold is power) - Fowl family motto (artemis fowl series) i think the spellings correct “An amateur soldier practices until he gets it right, a professional practices until he can never get it wrong.” “After all, immoral porn sells. Wonder if how much money I can make just taping my day to day life on camera? “If there is anything more ferocious, dangerous, and unpredictable than a mother protecting her young from a perceived threat then I’ve never heard of it!”- Quote attributed to numerous Hunters, Warriors, Adventurers and Explorers throughout history in one form or another. "Company Policy: If something weird happens, then it didn't happen. Confusing is understanding nothing and misunderstanding everything else. Real love isn't a smooth ride. Love is sacrifice, tears, and loving every minute of it. Life is as simple as math. That includes calculus. "No sacrifice, no victory." A million masks with only one canvas to display them. "Man is his own star. His acts are his angels, good or ill, while his fatal shadows walk silently beside him." " It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." enemies come in two categories: ‘dead’, and ‘soon to be dead’. Whatever doesn’t kill you better be dead afterwards "If your not down with that, Then I got two words for ya... SUCK IT!" DX "I may be a perv, but at least I'm not gay like you" “I’d send every assassin I had after you if I thought it would do anything.” “You mean, you haven’t been?” Naruto asked, sounding rather wounded. “What?” “I’ve had a bunch of assassins swing by lately,” Naruto stated. “I kinda thought they were from you. It was kind of nice, sorta like “Hey, thinking of you. Still wishing you were dead.” “I guess you’re rubbing off on me as well. I used to think most people were stupid and not worth my time.” He glanced at Naruto. Naruto raised one eyebrow.“Now I think most people are stupid, not worth my time, and I make little plots to kill them just in case it proves necessary.”- sasuke (people lie) is this what you call a diplomatic solution?” “oh hell no. This is what I call...aggressive negotiations”. The depth of a soul is not measured by what appears on the surface-William Tate I have crossed the vastness of the night sky and seen things that would make even a veteran of many battles quiver and flee. I have stood at the door to oblivion and have knocked on it several times but yet I shall not pass into the abyss. I have felt the sins of the father and the shadow of death has loomed over me many times. I shall continue on my path nor hell a fury shall come before me, I have seen the fate that lies before you and only the mighty shall survive. There is a thin line between Good and Evil, it is not distinguished between Light and Dark. Wars have been fought with throughout and will continue even after the last star in the universe burns out. I will forever fight the creatures that lurk in the shadows between the worlds, whether it be on open terrain, deep underground, or in the emptiness of deep space. I have never bowed to my Fate and I will not falter…even when I'm fighting with my dying breath. I will fight with whatever is at my disposal, whether I strike with the, Shiva, the Nova, or the Omega makes no’ difference. I know my Destiny, and my Fate has been sealed long ago but I will not stop and will never bow to Destiny. “Only the Foolish believe that the suffering of others is just wages for being different. Only the insane equate pain with success. Only the savage regard the endurance of pain as a measure of worth.” A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. -Edwin Cox The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.' "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely." Henry Ford To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity. --Friedrich Nietzsche “I resent that remark,” “I resent you,” "I don't want to be good at killing, what scares me is I think it may be what I'm best at." Melanie Rawn "Life's like a rollercoaster; its fun until someone barfs!!" Powa Beawr "Who said you could live in my world!?" "If you leave as much as one sillable I'll hunt you down and GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!... If you want to fax me press the star key." the answering machine from The Grinch Stole Chritsmas. "The diffence betewen Genius and insane is only messured by successes!" Some Dude "Lifes a garden, dig it!" Joe Dirt "I would rather live my life as if there is a God , and die to find out there isn't, Than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is." - unknown "Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality." - Edgar Allan Poe "Good and Evil are relative terms," "Oh you? I kill you for Klondike Bar!" Achmed the dead Terrorist I have crossed the vastness of the night sky and seen things that would make even a veteran of many battles quiver and flee. I have stood at the door to oblivion and have knocked on it several times but yet I shall not pass into the abyss. I have felt the sins of the father and the shadow of death has loomed over me many times. I shall continue on my path nor hell a fury shall come before me, I have seen the fate that lies before you and only the mighty shall survive. There is a thin line between Good and Evil, it is not distinguished between Light and Dark. Wars have been fought with throughout and will continue even after the last star in the universe burns out. I will forever fight the creatures that lurk in the shadows between the worlds, whether it be on open terrain, deep underground, or in the emptiness of deep space. I have never bowed to my Fate and I will not falter…even when I'm fighting with my dying breath. I will fight with whatever is at my disposal, whether I strike with the, Shiva, the Nova, or the Omega makes no’ difference. I know my Destiny, and my Fate has been sealed long ago but I will not stop and will never bow to Destiny. "If your mother is still driving you to school your not gangster so your pull your DAMN PANTS UP!" Jeff foxworthy "Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for, and the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Unknown "We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like," "If you don't know where you're going you'll probably end up some where else," "You can plan for tomorrow but you must live in today," - Unkown "Whoa, should we really be listening to the nymphomaniac at a time like this?!” “The written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion. Without books as our anchors, we are cast adrift, neither teaching nor learning. They are windows on the past, mirrors on the present, and prisms reflecting all possible futures. Books are lighthouses erected in the dark sea of time.” -Unknown "He who would do great things should not attempt them all alone." Seneca "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Walk beside me that we may be as one." Ute "Lose your temper and you lose a friend; lie and you lose yourself." Hopi When the pupil is ready to learn, a teacher will appear To follow the path, look to the master, follow the master, walk with the master, see through the master, become the master. A cat may look at a king “It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done.” Oscar Wilde "Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small people who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing." Unknown "Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are... Death awaits you." - Persona 3 "i am not a thing, my name is leaonard church and you will fear my lazer face"- Church( RvB) “I don’t know if it’s the beer, or if my apathy has finally gotten the better of me, but I’m gonna sit here and watch this train wreck come to a screeching halt.” The Time For Judgment Has Come." - Shadow Hearts A jack of all trades is master of none A little Learning is a dangerous Thing; Knowledge is learned, Wisdom is earned, and Failure is the knowledge you use to gain wisdom. So knowledge is knowing what a bullet is, wisdom is knowing what a bullet feels like, and failure is the reason you now have the knowledge of what that wisdom feels like.' Anyone who thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, is aiming ten inches too high. All the world is your country, to do good is your religion As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. ?- C. S. Lewis for want of a nail the horseshoe was lost, for want of a horseshoe the horse was lost, for want of a horse the rider was lost, for want of a rider the battle was lost, for want of a battle the kingdom was lost, and all for want of a nail Give the Devil his due Give respect, take respect He who dares wins Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned, nor Hell a fury like a woman scorned He who fails to study the past is doomed to repeat it. He who hesitates is lost He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know The key to all action lies in belief Great men do not seek power; it is thrust upon them Mere life is not a victory, mere death is not a defeat Act, and you may eat dinner. Think, and you may be dinner A fool and his money are soon parted "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am 50, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things--including the fear of childishness and the desire to be grown-up." -C.S. Lewis "What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?" -Irv Kupcinet "The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." -Shirley Maclaine "Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on." -Billy Connolly In order to get where you want to go, you first have to leave where you are It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission Judge not, lest ye be judged Knowledge is power. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open Life is too short to drink bad wine Nature, time, and patience are three great physicians. Necessity is the mother of all invention He who pays the piper calls the tune I go, I see, I conquer If something can go wrong, it will If you keep your mouth shut, you won't put your foot in it If you want to judge a man's character, give him power If you're in a hole, stop digging Damned if you do, damned if you don't Don't eat yellow snow Don't raise more Demons than you can lay down “You know that place they talk about when they say, ‘Yeah, I went there?’ That’s where I live.” "It's called wounded dude. Injured is when you fall out of a tree or something" - Martin/ Band of Brothers "When you are born, you are crying and everyone else is smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you are smiling and everyone else is crying." Unknown “You two are big kids now and one of these days you’re going to have to learn how to deal with people who go out of their way to piss you off,” Naruto mock-lectured as he opened the door to the medical area and stepped inside. “I do know how to deal with them,” Sakura replied, the very essence of wide-eyed innocence. “It’s accomplishing such a thing non-violently that’s giving me pause.” “Being drunk helps,” "I feel I have the right to do whatever I please. But, if I do something you don't like, I think you have the right to kill me" -George Carlin "Oh and, Sergeant... I'm not a Quaker" -Dick Winters/Band of Brothers "I'm the dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude"-Robert Downy Jr./Tropic Thunder "My favorite part, was the part where you died. Enchore! Bravo!" -Sarge/RedvsBlue "Doctor Sarge says take two bullets of this shotgun and call me when you're dead. Ring, ring. Hello, is it you? Yep you're dead!" -Sarge/RedvsBlue "Shut-up you little pot licker, I'll put you in a microwave" Reece Bobby/ Talladega Nights ‘Nothing is true unless you prove it’. Doubletalk and outright lying are fairly common as you get up in the ranks. Only trust what you know to be true.” "You know I'm a fucking ninja, right?"-Drewbie/The Grind "Well, if you're going to a battle ground you'll want more people. Unless you like having your skull hollowed out and used as a nut cup" -MacHeath/The Grind "Someday I'm gonna figure out how to kill people with my brain!" "Awe, fuckberries" "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade isn't our friend," "We're fuckin' Shinobi" - Naruto/ Legend of Uzumaki Naruto: Soul of Fire "Well if he wasn't an asshole, maybe I would've reasoned with him" -Shane/ Son of a Hokage "Who knows what's next, I'll probably run into the Backstreet Boys or something" -Naruto/Son of a Hokage "You so crazy," “You won’t like the truth,” he commented. “Maybe not, but I hate lies,” Sakura replied.“What’s wrong with lies?” Naruto asked. “All good and lasting things in this world have a strong foundation in lies. Your whole world is based on lies. If the truth were to ever come out, everything would fall apart. I never could comprehend why you people couldn’t understand that and go with it.”“Trust doesn’t come from lies,” Sakura pointed out.“Trust comes from belief,” Naruto corrected. “You trust your friends because you believe in them. You trust a liar to lie because you believe he will. You don’t trust a traitor to help you because you can’t believe that he won’t betray you again. It’s all about belief.” “So, what can I believe in you to do, Naruto?”“You can believe in me to do exactly what I think is best to keep me most amused,” "In space, no one can hear you say 'No'," “The train was stolen,” Nanbu stated. “I didn’t do it,” Naruto replied automatically. Nanbu glared at him. “What? I didn’t. It sounds like something I’d do, but it really wasn’t me this time.” “Wait here, I’m getting your ass out of my country if I have to drive you out on a handcart myself!” “I’m a ninja,” Naruto protested. “Normal people can use the door. I, on the other hand, will continue to use the window to access my fourth floor office.” "I'm a fucking ghost dude, how far into negotiations do you think I can get? Hey, maybe they'll trip after they shit their pants and I can talk with them for a few seconds as they run away screaming!" "Slap him and send him to school!"- Lenny/RocknRolla "And that's how my hair got long," I was more scared than that when my grandmother asked me to pick her up a package of condoms"- Liuv/ The Grind "This would've been a nice little house... if we didn't bomb the 'Holy Shit' out of it" "There's nothing wrong with shootin' as long as it's the right people getting shot," "Hell is full of musical amateurs,"- George Bernard Shaw "Now they could have got someone intelligent for the position, but instead they pick the guy with the leadership qualities of a fucking gerbil!" "I gotta smoke. You wanna smoke? You don't smoke? You're a healthnut, go fuck yourself." 'you're cute when you're stupid'. He used his insane speed boost to get a head start, but instead of an all or nothing assault that she guessed most people would use, he dodged to the side as soon as he touched down and let the speeding platform that followed do the work. Then from there he proceeded to attack from every possible angle known to man, and easily a few only known to crabs. words hold importence so listen to them well there's beauty in everything, you just have to know where to look have you seen through my eyes lately With an almost-sigh, reality bent in a patch of empty air, and suddenly Ranma was floating where nothing had been before, far, far above ground level. There was a long moment of awkwardness before gravity presumably looked up, saw the newcomer, and extended a warm 'Hello, how do you do?' and handshake. The lifetime genin pouted slightly, what was the fun of being right, if you couldn’t rub it in their faces, the last few moments of consciousness you had left? ‘Generally the one who first occupies the battlefield awaiting the enemy is at ease; The one who comes later and rushes into battle is fatigued,’ "To defy me is a senseless act which goes against your world's wishes... Now... Let everything vanish into the sweet fog of illusion..." "This distorted, false world. We call this peace." - Drakengard II "The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Mark Twain "question. Anyone else ever leave the toilet seat up just to be a dick"- me to my friends (i am the one of three males in my ENTIRE family, i do this kind of shit sometimes at family get togethers (more people who could take the blame) its really funny when its your bitchy cousin who gets the 'surprise') "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." Isaac Asimov A man said to the universe: ‘Sir, I exist!’ ‘However,’ replied the universe “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.’”- Stephen Crane – "In a mad world only the mad are sane." Akira Kurosawa Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. --Jawaharal Nehru "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." John Russell "There is no great genius without some touch of madness." Seneca The plan called for a full 20,000 year prep-time on the Golden Throne, 15,000 if rushed. I still had wheels within wheels within wheels spinning to get you in a state of mind where this result would be acceptable. I am the master of Plan ZZ Plural Z Alpha after all.” its not that im smart its its that i stay with all problems longer-albert einstein “They never ran out of courage. But in the end… they ran out of time.” – A quote by Londo Mollari from Babylon 5. But here a rain falls never-ending, and I am far from home. – Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel series. “How the hell do you know all this stuff? I’m almost a year older than you!” “Live and learn, Try to do both at the same time,” I suppose when he starts doing things that actually make sense we should really be worried.” "Stop here, damnit," Jinx could only surmise she missed something, watching the empath's expression. Too bad that mailbox wasn't it. "Sonofabitch.""Jinx, where did you learn how to drive?""Learn?""... never asking stupid questions again." "Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." Sun-Tzu “if it had taken any effort I wouldn’t have done it” "I sined, I went to hell, I took over. Its a theme park now. Your welcome." "People unfortunately, are very complex." -Adam Sessler Ummmm... GUYS, Hellllllllllooooooo aren't you suppose to be doing SOMEthing, I mean come on your like the evil demon men come to kill us all! -Cordy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer NO GRANDMA... BAD GRANDMA... DON'T EAT THE KITTY! -Shaggy, Scooby Doo ”Genius is not being very smart, genius is thinking different from others.” "While I love Jiji his mind is too logical and if one thing doesn’t work then you move on to another. My mind works in a more artistic way of thinking. If one thing doesn’t work fuck logic and do it again until something happens." -Naruto in Burning Blood's "Naruto of the Array" “I would do anything to protect Konoha. That’s where I keep all my stuff.”-hatake kakashi (people lie) "It's time somebody put you in your place, human!" - Alucard "Don't worry, I'm... pretty sure that's not permament. Like... sixty-five, seventy percent. Probably. There's a decent chance it's not going to be brain dead forever, anyway, and it's not like you can experiment with these things on people you intend to keep around." "You are less than inhuman. A pitiful defect, a failed science project. Sending you to your maker would be an act of mercy. Your regeneration powers' impressive, but I bet if I put enough bullets into your skull you will stay down for good. So let's cut to the chase. Start begging." - Alucard on Anderson's regenerative powers. "You monster." "I'll send you to Hell so you can lick Satan's ass!" - Alucard to Incognito (Does Alucard get the best lines or what?) "You've gone and taken all these lives, and not because you were thirsty. Is it fun? Huh? Is that what it takes for trash like you to get off?" - Alucard "You act more like a cockroach than a proper vampire. Left to your own devices you would cover the world in your filth. I can't stand your kind. You don't have the self-respect to be a vampire, you undead maggot. You barely even know what you are." - Alucard's opinion on artificial vampires. "And now O kings, be ye wise. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son lest He grow angry, and ye perish in the way, for His wrath may quickly kindle." - Anderson "What memories. I can smell everything. The scent of men stabbed. The scent of women cut down. The scent of babes burnt. The scent of the elderly shot dead. The scent of death. The scent of war." -Alucard "Resignation is what kills people. Once they've rejected resignation, humans gain the privilege of making humanity their footpath." -Alucard "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." -George Carlin (R.I.P. :() "Death makes angels of us all and gives us wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven's claws." -Jim Morrison "Don't you feel shame? I thought scum could at least feel shame." - Alucard(of course) "Who is it?" "HIM! It's HIM! The harbinger of insanity approaches!! He holds in his hands the subtle fragrance of death... He's coming for me atop his black iron stag!!-shots magic bullet at Alucards fighter jet...-There's a... a voice from th.. there. The voice I... it c... calls... out f... for... me..." "If thou wouldst dress the dead and play amongst them... Thou shalt join their ranks." -Alucard "reviews are like crack to writers so please help this addict go on with life and review when you read"- A Ninja Named Frank at Fanfiction.net "Someone once told me that procrastination is like masturbation. It’s all well and good, but you wake up one day and realize that you’re screwing yourself over."- from Cell Shift , by The Emerald Ingot "Illegal income, such as stolen or embezzled money, must be included in your gross income." - found on the official IRS website "Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone"-unkown "Gentlemen, I say leave the seat down, the less fingerprints on my girls rear side the better!"-unkown "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm" – Winston Churchill "be kind to the people you meet on the way up because you're going to meet the same people on the way down."-unknown "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."-unkown “I’ll ask nicely once more before I become a prick." -Naruto in Burning Blood's "Do You Fear The Darkness? "A truly double edged sword, but then what else can you expect from a devil’s gift?" -Leader from adrien skywalker's "The Interrogator" "Those who hide will be found, those who run will be caught, "When life gives you lemons, grab one, rip it in half, shove them in life's eyes and yell 'I ORDERED APPLES!!'" "Remember, nothing says respect me like a good, old-fashioned backhand." "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'” -George Carlin (R.I.P. :( ) “There was once a man that would get angry over every little thing and the only way he knew how to deal with it was to hurt others. He was a bad son, a bad father, and a bad husband. One day his father took him and brought him to the wooden closet door with a hammer and nails. He spoke and said. ‘From now on every time you get angry I want you to come here and hammer one of the nails into this door.’ They boy decided to go ahead and listen to his father, by the end of the month he had more than a hundred nails on the door. At the end of the month he went to his father and said. ‘I’ve learned how to control my anger father, I don’t need the door anymore.’ His father smiled and spoke. ‘Good now go and take off every nail that you hammered into the door. His son once again complied and when he was done the father and son looked at the door.” Tadakatsu paused as he stood up and began walking away. Naruto called out to him. “Hey wait a minute what happened?” Tadakatsu turned to him with a lazy roll of his head.“The door still had all of the scars and holes the hammer and nails had inflicted.”- Story in LD1449's "The Void" "One man's logic is anothers insanity Shino." Naruto in AkumaKami64's "The Beast God" "Death smiles on all, why not just smile back?" kagehisa's "Without a Home: Tale of the Red Fox" This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to offend SOMEbody! -Peter Stone Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. -Terry Pratchett Now, we can do this the hard way or ... well ... actually there's just the hard way." "That's fine by me" "Are you sure? Now this is not going to be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content." If the enemy is assembled, it should not be organized "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss and it is all organized by the Italians. --unknown " my mother never understood what she was saying when she called me a son of a bitch"-Jack nickelson " Ah yes, Divorce. The definiton of having your genitals ripped out through your wallet"-Robin Williams No matter how far you've gone down the wrong road, turn back. --Turkish proverb Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order. --Maggie Scarf “During the best of times humans revel in the times of peace, but it’s during the times of war that we look back and see how much we took all of that for granted.” – Ie-maru "everything perfect is guaranteed to have a flaw, and everything flawed is guaranteed to have a perfection" "I'll turn him into a flea...a harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box in another box and then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives...MUAH HA HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!" - Izma in The Emperor's New Grove "two heads are better than one, but two differently thinking heads are better than two" "You can't hit a woman!" "So? I hit men, and I believe in equal opportunities for everyone." Here's a modern definition of the old 'give a man a fish' quote: "I am not the kind of guy who will fix all your problems, I’m the kind of guy who teaches people how to pick their own ass up and save themselves." "If the wife is happy, the husband has a chance of being happy. If the wife isn't happy, the husband has got no chance of being happy at all." "In our own way, authors are more powerful than gods, for we decide what even gods do." -unkown "Man invented writing: one step forward. Man invented the pencil: one step forward. Man invented paperwork: five steps backwards." -unkown "Who ever said having an impossible goal is completley worthless? You'll just always have something to work towards." Nunquam lamiae morde me dice. - Never say 'bite me' to a vampire. --Anonymous When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. -Elayne Booster "I’m sorry, Wendy, but I just don’t trust something that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die." -Mr. Garrison, South Park Nymphomaniac: A woman who thinks about sex as much as the average man. -Mignon McLaughlin All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his. -Oscar Wilde Battle of the Sexes: A lifelong skirmish which often involves sleeping with the enemy. -Anonymous Treat every woman like a queen and every queen like a woman. -Leonid S. Sukhorukov, All About Everything You taste wierd... The kraken stirs." "And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance. -Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw. - Lilo, Lilo and Stitch It's just not brownies without the porkchops. - Giles from a FF7 Fanfiction We're being led by an idiot with a crayon. - Commander Julius Root, Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident ARRRGGGHH...FROGS...ARRRRRGGGHHH -Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Maybe the bunnies did it... -Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer I laugh in the face of danger...then run away. -Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer "When you have the bad guys ask them to surrender. You do NOT scream 'what did you call me?' and blow up the building. You definitely shouldn't blow up the rubble, laugh, blow up the rubble of the rubble, laugh and yell 'who's the bitch now?' ok?" Tonks, The Hunt for Harry Potter, Rorschach's Blot I may be dead but I'm still prettier than you! -Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Piss me off and you'll be wishing I wasn't so violent, and stop flirting with my niece or I'll hunt you down and castrate you! The internet is where men are men, women are men and children are the FBI - Dunno It defies physics! It both sucks and blows I'm going to TAKE OVER THE WORL - Oooh! was that a butterfly?? "Dude. I can't watch. Meat is wrong! Would you eat me if you got hungry enough? Huh?" "Nah. You'd complain all the way down." If in doubt, POKE IT!! “That’s not being allowed to leave, that’s tricking them into thinking we’re still here!” Sakura objected.“Same thing, really,” Kakashi said dismissively. This certainly threw a monkey wrench into his plans. But if there was anything he knew about wrenches, it was that throwing another into the mix usually had a positive effect. And he had plenty of wrenches. if you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow” Sings-to-Trees felt absurdly insulted. People falling asleep without a word after sex was rude, people falling asleep without a word after attempted murder was completely beyond the pale. “Hey! Have a little faith in me, you asshole. I’m crazy, not incompetent,” “Just because I’m lazy, doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” “Why is it that every time you say you’re going to do something for someone’s own good, it seems to lead to bodily harm to a member of my team?” Asuma inquired.Temari shrugged. “I’m from Suna; that’s how we roll.” Things never work out the way we think they should or the way they were planned. It’s a constant – sort of like the laws of gravity. When the shit hits the fan, gravity will eventually pull it back down. Where it lands, now that’s the interesting part. I swear to God, if one more person says “…the power of positive thinking” I’m gonna start taking pot-shots at people with a high-powered rifle. Seriously, give it a fucking break. "hey hes the one who bled on everything why are you mad at me? Did you know.. that when you smell, look at, or pick a flower, you're sniffing, staring at, and ripping off a plant's genitals?? "whats itmatter i'll probably be dead in a week anyhow" "well than this is a very important week for you" the rules of reality are how i say it, or if spell check messes up. Cheeseburger first!- tony stark Win and you get to rewrite the rules so that it was fair retroactively. Then laugh at the fools who complain about this.” “I told you someone was going to get hurt, I just cant believe it wasn’t me this time” "If the Pen is mightier than the Sword, then why the heck did we invent the Sword then! Stab everyone in the eye with a Pen then!" “I am a man, not much of one, but a man none the less”- i think this was Tiro from Guardian by Black Dragon 6 “You expect me to not only know what happens in his mind but understand it as well?” In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man was King, Fucking surreal. I feel like I’m stuck in one of those Dali paintings with the dripping clocks. SURGEON’S GENERAL WARNING: Time travel has been known to cause scarring, screwing, trauma, and in some cases, severe psychosis. Please proceed at your own discretion.’ This is what happens when God gets high, “We’re not disputing that it was a smart move; we just don’t think it was an intentional one.” You do know her then? Edmund: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. You guys are both going to burn in hell. Would you pass the potatoes please? I honestly didn’t think it would work, but I showed me. That’s for sure.” "Everybody lives and everybody dies, so live life like a psycho, so there's never a dull moment." - Chaumiester You can have the afternoon off when you DIE, not before. /!\ I startled my Witch, and she liked EVERY second of it. (left 4 dead fanart comment) "There's a door." Doctor Jack Seward: You want to autopsy Lucy? "What are you gonna teach them? How to get eaten by an ostrich?!" - Kitty on the That 70's Show "Good...? Bad...? I'm the guy with the gun." - Ash from Army of Darkness "you woke me up...you better be on fire or something" "Take care now, buh bye then." - Ace Ventura There were just some things in life – no matter how much thirst you had for knowledge – which you didn’t need nor want to know "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."- Shakespeare "Life is not a garden so stop being a hoe." "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." "Kill all Hippies." - Chaumiester "Sorry, I can't brain today, I've got the Stupid" - "My brother said he's got balls! But he won't lemme play with 'em! So I don't know," - Tisha. "The Green is grasser on the other side, "all that hates gonna burn you up kid" "keeps me warm"- red dawn “If not us then whom? If not now when? If not here then where?” It's kind of like kinky porn... I can't tell you exactly what it is, but I like it a lot! "Without Death, there would be no life; without hatred, there would be no love; without darkness, there would be no light; and without nothing to loose, you have nothing to win. "So, wait. You're saying that The Virgin Mary was not in fact Mind-fucked, but Spiritually Raped?" - friend1 "Yep, and then she had a brain child." - friend2"I still stick to the fact that it was the biggest pregnancy excuse in history, and people were to scared to anger a God to disbelieve her."- friend3 (I apologize if that conversation offended, I should have warned you.) “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.” – First Corinthians 13:11, NIV "War and Life is hell...but war is fun...lifes a bitch." - Chaumiester "The only way for peace to commence is for a war to prepare it." - Chaumiester "Only people who receive true power are the ones who can brave through war until its end and survive." -Chaumiester "Chaos is the Ultimate Balance in the Universe. Both Good and Evil, both Right and Wrong, both Order and Darkness... to lose Chaos means to lose Everything." - Lord Rance youre just making this up as you go along?!" "yep, but i do it beautifully"- Dr.Who "not everybody needs to know everything"-christy Lee "Sanity is for the weak!" - Chaos Space Marines "We need enemies!!" - Chaos Space Marines "Violence is not the answer to everything...But it sure does Help!!" - Ranma Chaos "As long as there is man, there will be violence. As long as there is violence, there will be war. And as long as there is war, I will alway have a job." - Ranma Chaos "Clense, Purge, Kill!!" - Space Marines "If you're gonna die, take every motherf#&ker with you before you die. That way you'll have some company in Hell." - First Generation Helljumpers "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough As the old saying went, the good know not how close to evil they truly are. "sic bic alcum para bellum... if you want peace prepare for war"- punisher the movie Yeah well, minor things and major things is merely a matter of perspective." You're a general, a shinigami, an expert in hair care products judging from that beard of yours, a judge and a psychologist old man...maybe you should put up an office." The dumber people think I am, the more surprised they'll be when I kill them.’ Really, I seem to be a magnet for big trouble. Well, at least big trouble round here leads to handing me a bigger gun. . Curse these builders for not putting windows where I can reach them. "Don't think of it as being out-numbered, think of it as unlimited target selection!" "Thou callest me a dog before thou hast cause. But since I am a dog, beware my fangs Smart people make up their own words"-you know i can't remember where i read this, i know it was an evangelion fic. i think it was skysaber 3 on studio asygnor (its wierd hes on this site but i dont see any of his otaku series) “A hero is just someone who does the right thing at the right time, and is seen by the right people. Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once," Why make war, when you can see people beat the shit out of each other on TV! - A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey! You know i'm probably going to regret this, but what the hell i'm curious ‘Stealing from one person is called plagiarism. Stealing from multiple people is called research.’ Sometimes, a lot of skill and no brains can combine to be totally useless “war is americas way of learning geography”-i think a comedian said this, not sure who. "It has logic. I couldn't find any, but it still has logic." There is no such thing as useless knowledge, "GREAT! Now I'm on fire! Are you happy now, ARE YOU!?" "Draw your swords, load your guns, put on some armor, its time for fun." "logic has no place in my life..." "...Give him a moment he'll get it" Trainings a bitch and so is Love Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy. - Gary Busey “We beat the hell out of each other until we finally got along,” "Light thinks that it is faster than everything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds that darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." - Terry Pratchett “I’m an incredibly strong person with a pocket full of aces for other incredibly strong people “I recognize those titties, it’s crazy booby girl”- Desert Punk “does it ever cross your mind not to voice every thought that comes into your head””you could hear all that?””every awkward word”-Chardin and Kyoko from Black Cat "Ya, I have a voice in my head. It's called my conscience." -If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet I’ll put shoes on my cat. -I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. -ohhh, let me turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn. -Whatever look you were going for, you missed. -Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet. -wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! I'll kill you and bury you in a shallow grave! Then I'll dig you up and kill you again! That's the beauty of a shallow grave..." "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind." Homer Simpson, the Simpsons -all those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. -ok, so what’s the speed of dark? -It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. -I intend to live forever. So far, so good. -When everything is comin’ your way, your driving in the wrong lane. -What happens if you get scared half to death twice? -I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. -I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. -everyone else may love you, but I still think you’re a moron. -This isn’t a classroom, it’s hell with fluorescent lighting. -You know you’re addicted to coffee when: 1)you’re nervous twitches show up on the richter scale. 2)you have to watch movies in fast-forward. 3)you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. “Never, and I mean NEVER, underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.” "Violent, stingy, schizophrenic... It sounds... like me!"). –B.B. Hood I never saw or heard or smelled anything that couldn't be talked about.” -I think this was Tam al'thor from the wheel of time series, but i'm not sure “you trying to kill me””no. should I be”- Chowder "People complaining about Naruto/Hinata pairings being over done is like complaining that the sun should be blue because it's been orange for so long." Kageluv Lots of people die needlessly, so why would your death be any different? “I already died once, I can’t die again, that would be stupid”- a discussion me and my friend were having about Vamp (metal gear series) I run, I hide, but I never lie. -Duo Maxwell "Let your rapidity be that of the wind, your compactness that of the forest. In raiding and plundering be like fire, in immovability like a mountain. Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt." - Sun-Tzu, The Art of War never give guns to chimps, Ever notice that the expression “heads up” really means “whatever you do, don’t look up, just get out of the way”? Simply put, we are in your mind… which goes a long way towards explaining why it’s so empty in here.”-kyubbi (i can't seem to remember which fic) “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.” “where did all these unsupervised children come from” “my fast is faster than your fast, my strong is stronger than your strong, my better is better than your best” “why are they smiling, they should definitely not be smiling” “I feel like a great weight has lifted from my wallet.” “He isn’t very good with animals, or people, or anything that is alive for that matter.” SNAP OUT OF IT BEFORE I DO SOMETHING LOUD AND VIOLENT, PREFERABLY WITH A CHAINSAW!" “Been through the whole routine, skip to the part where you tell me what you want, and I say no.” “courts kinda fun when its not my ass on the line” “This village is just full of people I can enjoy, you should consider moving.” “there goes a guy with a sister I’d like to bang” -Tristen yu-gi-oh abridged "If you need to use violence to prove a point, you have already lost the argument." "Time does not matter, only with patience will I achieve my goal." -Even in futility, march on towards the inevitable with your head held high and eyes straight forward.- "Rascals! Do you want to live forever?" - Frederic the Great, King of Prussia “Peace is a lie there is only Passion! Through Passion I gain Strength! Through Strength I gain Power! Through Power I gain Victory! Through Victory my chain are Broken! And I am Free!” -From kyubii son of the demon king Screw it. I like explosions I swear if you go on another of your, ‘I’m destinies whiny little bitch’ reels again I’m going to slap you one A warrior that wields a weapon, should expect to die by one Nice guy but the skylight leaks a little””what’s that supposed to mean””it means he ain’t the brightest crayola in the box “Sorry I’m late, I got run over on the road of life.” In all things one cannot win with defense alone, one must attack Waiting for explosions sucks. I want one now.” “Sorry I’m late but I got lost on the road of life,”“Only an idiot could get lost on a one lane road!” He had that stupid look on his face….you know…the look you get when someone points out the obvious and you don’t even have the smallest comeback in mind and you desperately want to say something to dispute what he/she just said. “I took her out and threw her in the woods “you did WHAT?” “”I want her to learn something” “what that it’s cold in February” whoops is not a word I want to hear in 2000 feet in the air””he simply caused the engines to die temporarily””die is even worse than whoops” whoops is not a word i want to hear five feet off the ground let alone 5000 WHAT? I HAD TO DO SOMETHING IN 10,000 YEARS, I’M A DEMON FOX, ONLY THREE THINGS MATTER, SEX, DESTRUCTION, AND EVERYTHING ELSE, SEX GOT BORING AFTER 5000 YEARS, AND ONLY DESTROY THINGS ONCE AND A WHILE, SO NOT TO UPSET, THE GREAT BALANCE. OR SO SAYS KAMI-SAMA, SO, EVERYTHING ELSE KIND OF UP IN THE REST OF MY TIME. “He survived it. But I will be very impressed if he gets up.” Naruto answered, looking at the amount of blood splattered about. “And if he does, he is going to need some very good alcohol to shake that off.” running away from an angry girl only made things worse, especially if you lived in the same house as them. “A monster can never rid us of a monster. To kill a monster it takes a man.” "All I see in your sword is fear. If I dodge, I'm afraid of being hit. If I'm protecting someone, I'm afriad they'll die. If I attack, I'm afaid I'll cut them. There is no place for fear here. Do you see the resolve to cut you in my blade? If I dodge, I won't let you hit me. If I'm protecting someone, I won't let them die. If I'm attacking, I will cut you." kisuke urahara (Bleach). A women tells Sir Winston Churchill that he is drunk at a party. "Mam, I may be drunk, but your ugly, and I'll be sober in the morning." Saito knew that people were, as a group, only as smart as the stupidest person nearby them “is there a civil right you haven’t broken””um… the right to bear arms maybe, no wait scrap that, ummm….. freedom of speech, no wait. Shit.” “you okay””maybe is this Scotland””no””then why are those men in dresses” If you could conjure up an army, who would care about stealth?" Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." (its like christopher TItus said, at first you go ewww, but then you think about it for a second and go huh not to bad) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students." - Louis Hector Berlioz “Any last words before I destroy you?” Orochimaru asked menacingly. “Yeah,” Jiraiya said, looking up at him rebelliously. “Boobs. No wait… Tsunade’s boobs.” “The Magician is a master of misdirection, if he goes to his left or to his right, attack the middle…he’s just as likely to be there as anywhere else " The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think." "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car." "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams "Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling." . . . because truly to enjoy bodily warmth,some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself.-herman mellville moby dick “what do we call this””a love triangle””no it has too many sides to be a love triangle, more like an octagon- tetrahedron thingie” “I know not what comes my way, be what it will, I’ll go to it laughing” .-herman mellville moby dick “Since he went out of his way to leave right before I arrived, I can assume he’s going to do something that I wouldn’t approve of.” “Yeah, but there are so many things that fall into that category…” “How is it possible that you’ve managed to become more immature with the passage of time?” “Pure talent, babe”-never cut twice “Alright, quit it! Kisame, weren’t you just telling us a few hours ago how experienced you are? Shouldn’t you then also then have an equal amount of maturity to go with your experience?” Kisame rolled that thought around in his head for a few seconds, “Hmm…well, yes, I should, but that doesn’t mean I do”-never cut twice “Remind me again why I put up with you fruitcakes and your ideas?” Naruto stroked his chin, “Our devilish good looks?” Itachi tilted his head, “Our razor sharp wit?” Kisame held up a hotdog he had been cooking over the fire, “Our masterful culinary ability?”- conversation with temari in the fic Never Cut Twice Good and evil are subjective. Justified and un-justified are subjective. Wise and foolish are subjective. But strength is not. People have been calling me crazy for years; only here and now do I start to consider whether they might have a point. wow, this is the first time they’re quiet AND awake at the same time.’ As a trained ANBU squad leader Kakashi had learned to pay attention to the slightest disturbances. Now he wished he’d learned from his dear friend Obito how to sleep with his eyes open. You mess with the best you die like the rest! As he observed their play, there were many questions plaguing the mind of Uchiha Itachi. Where did that ominous music that always followed him around come from? Why did god make the platypus? Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? Why was Temari wearing his clothes? 'Nothing in this world is free -- not knowledge, nor power, nor the ability to protect those that you love...By reading these events foretold, you, the reader, are bound to finish these tales without endings...' Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol. don’t you think-“”no thats your job remember” "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." --Tricia "PMS - Psychotic Mood Swings" "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm..." --George Orwell "People confuse compliments with pickup lines too much these days." "Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed." --Vaclav Havel "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything." "Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world." It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." "Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?" "If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty." If I'd observed all the rules I'd never have got anywhere." I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. "Drink provokes the desire but takes away the performance." --Shakespeare An idiot is a master of faking. A genius is a master of revealing." “It’s his choice…and he made it wrong so now it’s time for us to interfere in his life”- Leela futurama “why are we running””we’re in trouble””we’re always in trouble why run now” “All who does not fear me will perish, and all who come near me will burn. I will slay and I will down the pills of hatred you throw at me. No one will see me as I come.” “I got yelled at because I failed a quiz””why did you fail the quiz””because I didn’t know the answers” “im supposed to entrust my fate to a turtle, natures d student” I have reports," the legendary shinobi started, and Naruto knew that "reports" couldn't ever be good because if it was documented, it was only done so to be used against you at a later date (case in point, taxes, school grades, and the disciplinary folders with his name on them still at the Academy, waiting), “how do you burn jell-o” He learned that, most importantly, he was going to screw up, but that it was really the ability to screw up in a new, unexpected way that eventually accomplished his goal Legends don't die, they just fade away. It was a widely held belief among the villagers in every country, from Kaminari no Kuni to Kaze no Kuni. Taken as a gospel truth by all, save for the Shinobi. Shinobi knew the truth, that legends did die, painfully and usually alone, but always as a Legend. No where was this knowledge more prevalent than among Konoha Shinobi. Yamanaka Ino was having an argument with reality. She was, naturally, losing, but it wasn't like she could just give up. In the time it takes you to say I love you, They’ve already doubted your words, Never leave a moment for them to doubt you. J.K Phillips Death is cruel and unpredictable. It is part of nature. When someone passes away, a new born will be replaced. So the cycle goes on and on. Not only that, grief is part of this deal. We grieve because simply nature gave us this unique ability to feel our love ones after departing from us. And grief will give individuals new perspectives for their future to challenge their rough road ahead of them. No, a story never really ends you know. It just has a different tone added to it. "Depression is just a sarcastic state of mind." "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with!!" --Kelly McDowell "You don't have to be the first. Just be the best." "Is there no consolation in books? An educated mind is neither insensitive nor callous." --Cicero, Letters to Atticus "If there be any life that is really better that we should lead, and if there be any idea which, if believed in, would help us to lead that life, then it would be really better for us to believe in that idea, unless, indeed, belief in it incidentally clashed with other greater vital benefits." --William James (American philosopher, 1842-1910, from Pragmatism, p. 78) "What does not kill us make us stronger? False. We just learn to survive. We get used to the pain, to the hate. We bow a little more, we believe a little less. That does not mean we are stronger. Only a little harder. " --Luc Besson in the book "The Story of the Fifth Element", p.8 "Virtue is not solitary. It is bound to have neighbors." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "He who asks is a fool for a moment, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without an accordion." -Ross Perot "If you like a drink that tastes like this, this is the drink for you." -Letterman, re: Yoohoo "thus, i formulate the hypothesis that intelligence, creativity, and sense of humor are linked." -jim "Never confuse your net worth with your self worth." When traveling in foreign lands, leave no trace of where you’ve been, for signs left by careless hands, spelt defeat for many men.” With a guess that good, I'm surprised you're wrong." –Marissa “the existence of a flamethrower tells me that somewhere someone wanted to burn something and it was too far away”-Matt Cahoon "Follow your gut, but choose your words carefully and please keep the kunai out of it." He tried to think of what Kakashi would do, froze, and decided that he never wanted to think about what Kakashi would do in any situation, ever again. Two ways for a shinobi to die. In a mission, or slipping in the bathtub or choking on a potato or something. If it's the potato, I got nothing, because the Hokage tends to keep those kinda embarassing deaths quiet." Everyone was a monster. Rage, hatred, sadness drive men and women to the brink of sanity and then past it, forcing them to regret their lives, their actions, and their words. Grief drives people mad. Naruto's inner demon was corporeal - that was the only difference between "him" and "them". Never. Give. Up. I don’t care how long the odds are, there’s always a solution. Can’t climb the wall? Go around. Go under. But keep on movin’. Once you lose momentum, you might never get it back again Remember kids a real hero knows when it’s time to cut his losses and RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.- Desert Punk “before there is construction there is destruction” “do you have to make such a mess””no I don’t have to but I want to, I really really want to” 'What're you so mad about? I knocked...just with my foot.' “You don’t have to be evil just because you are greedy...” ”Something like Courage didn’t exist. The only one who had Courage was the one who stood on the right side of a machinegun.” – Sven Hassel, Deserter. 23rd panzerpunishregiment. “I like to do things my own way even if it doesn’t make sense,” "It’s okay if you cant understand some people... however, if you don’t know yourself, neither will you be able to understand others.." "Don’t wait for what you can have; think about what you can’t be without instead... it saves a lot of time..." “You know, I never get tired of watching you do stupid things. Not ever.” “He has many hobbies, one of which is science that involves breaking shit.” (my personal favorite science, too bad my school doesn't offer it) Adults. Ain’t a damn one of them that tries doing something for us without screwing it up. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Confucius It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it. - General Douglas MacArthur "Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink." "A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep." "Arguing on the Internet is like the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded." "Experience is a comb Nature gives to men when they are bald." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "Great souls have wills. Feeble ones have only wishes." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "The longer the night lasts, the greater our dreams." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "Better a diamond with a flaw then a pebble without one." --Monk, 'Arc the Lad 1' "I don't have to be dead to donate my organ." "I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out." "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something." "Remember, half the people you know are below average." "A day without sunshine is like, night." "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." "Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference." "The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth." "It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere!" "It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere." "The heart feels what the eyes cannot see" " An inflated ego in the hands of testosterone is a weapon of mass destruction." "Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids." "Adolf Meyer had a tin ear for the finer rhythms of English and therefore was unaware of the semantic damage he had inflicted by offering 'depression' as a descriptive noun for such a dreadful and raging disease." --William Styron "I have felt the wind of the wing of madness" --Baudelaire "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." "Earth is the insane asylum for the universe." "God must love stupid people, he made so many." "Good shall always prevail over evil. To me, that is the basis of all hope. Evil looks to destroy. It would even destroy itself, I think. Since the sum of existence isn't/can't be destroyed, nor the universe, I must believe that good always triumphs." --VanDeBogert "if your in over your head stop digging" - a sign i saw in front of a car wash a while back, what does that have to do with washing cars? "let me walk you through his thought process, "its smaller than me , therefore it is edible" thats it" Let him eat it, if he dies we'll know not to eat it. im gonna eat it, if its food okay if not ill just throw up later. never mix anything unless you have some idea of what will happen"- my chemistry 102 teacher, this can be applied to people as well. no progress has ever been made without challenging the status quo" You never know what you believe until its truth, or its falsehood, becomes a matter of Life or death. Only a real risk proves the reality of a belief. C.S.Lewis. "stupidity and death aren't the same thing, except when your around."-something i said to a friend of mine while playing halo “Well, Orochimaru wanted to kill someone close to me for some reason and I wanted to help her out. Naturally, I did it in the most efficient way possible; blowing shit up and hoping he got burned.” Naruto master of puppets, demolition chief It zeroed in on the few shinobi who were either burned and dying, burned but not dying, or not burned and not dying, and quickly saw to making them dying. - Master of puppets demolition chief The world ends not with a bang, but a whimper- T.S Elliot There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so- hamlet why is rum gone- jack sparrow To the well organized mind death it but the next great adventure- dumbledore i'm not a smart man...but i know what love is- forest gump "help help, im being repressed"- communist peasant in monty python and the search for the holy grail If pride stands in the way of winning shampoo then who needs it- mousse When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long ad regretfully upon the closed one we do not see the one which has opened for us- alexander graham bell of course it is happening inside your head harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?- harry potter and the deathly hallows nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution- Theodosius Dobzhasky every action is significant in some way shape or form "god did't have any great plan or anything when he created the universe, he was bored. sitting alone for millenia at a time must have grown tedious so he searched for something to do, he created the universe to give himself something to do similar to humans watching television he watches us go about our lives . this is why i believe there are aliens, because god wouldn't have only one channel, this is why i believe some of the most horrible people in history will be in heaven, because they were interesting and thats what he is looking for, and this is what i believe happened to the dinosaurs, they got cancelled because they stopped being interesting. and someday we'll stop being interesting and we'll get cancelled, i dont even think it'll take that much to destroy us, maybe more than a meteor but not much maybe even less since we're such fragile creatures.- my theory on god that i came up with as a joke but sometimes i think about it and it makes a creepy kind of sense "questions, comments, concerns- my philosophy teacher begs the question- my philosophy teacher its like your arguing with a brick wall and the wall just keeps jumping on you and hitting you- girl in philosophy club after arguing with the club founder "i was on the right track" "yeah, but at the wrong time, on the wrong train headed in the wrong direction into oncoming trains"- rebuttal to people in critical thinking class whining about their grades two wrongs don't make a right" "yeah but three lefts and you might as well have made a right" Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but ill never know because ill never eat one of the nasty motherfuckers you're not wrong walter, you're just an asshole- the dude from the Big Lebowski "you had it right if by right you mean wrong" - my philosophy teacher talking about homework okay people are dead- deadpool did i get him- cyclops CONSUME ME- Anthony (my friend) I blame you- anthony could you stand right here...okay we lost ferail...-anthony best pick up line ever- does this smell like chlorophorm to you- my friend logan this will be you- anthony One thing Naruto hated above all else was Liars. Even evil people didn’t really lie, after all they were dishonest, and you had to expect them to be Dishonest, honestly it was the honest one’s you have to look out for, as you never know when they’ll do something incredibly… stupid- originally from jack sparrow You can run...but youll just die tired. Worst throw ever, of all time" "not my fault someone put a wall in my way" - caboose and washington everyone simply ignored ezekial who was urinating on a tree crying "i defy you nature". when the newest addition to their little band asked him about it later he said "anywhere we go he has to urinate on something, whether its glaciers and polar bears at the north pole or trees and off cliffs in the forest" - this is a random scene i thought up a while back as part of a book it needs to be refined but i think its funny as is. "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" "The efficiency of the truly national leader consists primarily in preventing the division "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!" Pacifism only means that "It is said that the future is always born in pain. The history of war is the history of pain. "None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear." "Sometimes questions are more important than answers." “Note to self,” he said out formally, as if he was about to write down some great wisdom. “If it requires sacrifice, avoid it. Virgin’s blood too for that matter.” So if you don’t turn around and walk out right now, I’m going to gut out your organs and sell them on eBay you hear?” Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction my dear boy.”( I love opportunities like that, I like to wave at them as they pass by.” “Funny things about ranks. They only tell you information if that is the one they deserve And I heard a voice in the mist of the four beast. And I looked and behold, a pale horse, and his name that sat on him is Death. And hell followed with him.” I can’t force people to change their minds, but I can guilt trip the hell out of them.” "death doesnt matter, only revenge"- gungrave If you cant do it in one shot dont do it at all- the league of extraordinary gentlemen Be silent. Be quick. There’s a time for being loud and brash, but one day your life may depend on being quiet and fleet of foot. " if this relationship wasn't a little creepy and disturbing i wouldn't be in it" They say dreams are what drive us to live, to kill, and to die. What is a man without a dream? Uzumaki Naruto has a grand one. He wants World Domination.” “A man's dream is nothing to be laughed about! They say dreams are what drive us to live, to kill, and to die. What is a man without a dream? The answer is a coward! Even I have a dream, as modest as it may be. One day, I hope to make the perfect ramen recipe that would be acknowledged as the best in the Empire!” “Querry: If you are composed entirely of water meat bag, then is the proper terminology for you, instead of meat bag, is infact douche bag?” After all, denying the devil once is foolish. Denying the devil twice... is suicide... AH! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna throw up and then I'm gonna die, "truce" "a very sexy truce" "stop being such a baby and cut my hands off" i drank so much orange fanta my hair has turned that orange cheeto color-me Lets do it right here on the table- my mom on the phone "where the fucks my apple, this is a plaque" “Huh, I didn’t know you wore glasses though. They weren’t in your medical files.” “Oh, these?” Naruto shrugged and tosses the shattered frames into a random trashcan. “They’re just plain glass. But they make me look I have smarts in my brain goo, don’t they?” “But it’s so much more fun when I don’t think or care about the likely consequences of my actions! How can I take over the world when I think about all the people I’m likely to squash or blow up?” “You have a twisted sense of humor.” “I prefer ‘laughing outside the box.’” After all, they had to make sure no one with severe mental defects was being allowed into the academy. Whether they came in or out of the psyche interviews with such defects was totally irrelevant. "ADHD, it means i get a lot of shit half done"-me Now go do the right thing and lie to the woman you love that wont help. carthartic maybe, helpful no. The only ones who whine about cheating are the losers i'd like to change your mind, by hitting it with a rock" he said "though i am not unkind" I'm not afraid of the dark just whats in it. I think I felt my soul die… "It is more difficult to organize a peace than to win a war; but the fruits of victory will be lost if the peace is not organized." "You think our job is hard? All we have to do is shoot people and get shot at. Who I feel sorry for are the guys in charge of getting us to stop." There is no Courage without Honor, No Joy without Hope, No Loyalty without Trust, No Love without Friendship, No Peace without Justice, No Forgiveness without Repentance. The other difference: I'm crazy by choice, you're just nuts." Evil be thou my good- Paradise lost His curiosity would kill him some day - everyone who knew him well enough said so, and Jiraya wholeheartedly agreed. But in the meantime it'd be a very amusing ride and contrary to all those stuck-up geezers he'd die with a smile on his face, doing what he liked and how he liked it. i Kill things and im very good at it!- wolf a charater of my friends But you know... Ninja. One bastard told me a long time ago: 'If a ninja is forced to fight a straight fight. If a ninja is forced to reveal his presence and fight AT ALL... He isn't a much of one.' Bastard that he was. Is. But he's right." "There are moments where you really, unquestionably, overwhelmingly fucking scare me." She said calmly. "And, without a doubt, this is one of them."- sasuke in reload by Case13 welcome to the real world...whether you like it or not heh, kids got guts. guts but no brains Karma is a bitch, but she pays her debts to all Knowledge is power.”His instructor gave a serious looking nod. “Yes. Knowledge can be useful, but without the ability to apply it, it can often do you little good.- kyuubed:shinobi's revenge by contra bardus if explosives dont solve your problem your not using enough of them hed make love to science if he could paranoia isn't a mental illness for a ninja its a survival trait He broke her heart, or whatever it is that pumps blood tequila and acid through her veins.- george lopez im not calling the hospital because if i do you wont learn anything- my mom this is a list of words you should probably never use now your politically aware, great timing and whats that mean?" "i dont know i just didn't want to say magic door" counting calories two things i hate, math and self deprevation its a great place to live if your dead if it aint broke give me five minutes i like your words, keep saying them sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing She's mad i didn't listen?" " No shes mad because you blew up the dishwasher" - i think this was tim the tool man taylor and wilson “What I don’t get is why you would have signed on with a bunch of greedy mercenaries in the first place. Isn’t that like--like the lobster climbing into the pot? N-no offense, but even ‘hiding in plain sight’ just doesn’t cut it.”- rachel in chronicles of darkness by lynx klaw Im depressed but im too tired to kill myself" "have a red bull" shes not your type, she can see yeah his livers pretty much said fuck it, bloodstream take it thats like arsonist fire fighters im so sorry i thought you were someone else" "i am" you guys are boring" "oh yeah your a chemistry teacher" They like to drive in the hills and look at the pretty do not walk in front of me, i may not follow. Do not walk behind me, i may not lead. But rather walk beside me and be my friend and walk with me Do you have any idea how annoying all those magical princes are? I mean it’s always ‘I’m the price of this small but weird magical kingdom and I’m so powerful and you will be my bride!’ What is in the water in those places?” Akane half shouted out. “You know, at times I wonder what’s in the water here.” Uyko softly muttered. Shizune looked like she had just seen a shinigami offer her candy. (Remember kids: Never take candy from strangers. Though it is said that strangers have the best candy...) There is nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever. – Alfred Hitchcock “Who said I was a villain? After all, Good and Evil… to me they’re just words. All I’m doing is following my own path. I’ll let everyone else decide what little label to slap on me, personally, I’m just a thief… Kami.. buddha... God... if any of you really exist, id just like you to know.. THAT I HATE YOU ALL!! He'd never seen a shark before, but that just meant that he was long overdue to be attacked by one I dont want to face my fears im afraid of them am i missing an eyebrow- mythbusterrs “So what have we learned about calling me mother, kid?”“I should get a bigger lead on you before I say it? "You fall off cliffs all the time, The trick is growing wings to catch yourself on the way down." You may not be as gay as this, but damn it your trying i have no idea what you just said, but i like the way you said it, do it again. i see, well a smart man does what he can, within the limits he is given. A wise man changes the rules when no one is looking I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. – Mark Twain "In the end, everything is a gag." - Charlie Chaplin "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon Bonaparte "Give me chastity and continence, but not yet." - Saint Augustine "One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives." - Euripides "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H. Munro (Saki) "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Sir Winston Churchill "A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt." – The Rules of Work (Anonymous) Last night I played a blank tape at full blast, the mime next door went nuts -- "Christianity : The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense." -Unknown "Eat Shit and Die!" Dominic Santiago: Gears of War " Yippie Kai Yay Motherfucker" John McClane: Live Free or Die Hard " It's an Emergency. A Viking Emergency" Mattias Nillson: Mercenaries 2 World in Flames. " You there on the Fifty Cal. i'd like to say that I'm about to kill you!" Jennifer Mui: Mercenaries 2 World in Flames. " Salem: Who do you think the best rapper in the Wu Tang Clan is? Rios: Dude, we've been charged with murder, been betrayed by our commander, and you want to talk about something like that? Salem: some people say it's RZZ, but i like Ghost Face Killah Rios: Shut up Salem, i'm trying to think! Salem: Hey, you have your ways of coping, I talk Wu Tang. Rios: Yeah, well how about you cope with my foot up your ass!" Tyson and Elliot: Army Of Two. "Rios: It looks like we've found Ali Youseff's base Salem: Really?! How could you tell? All the guards, The Weapons, The towers... or are you just a fucking psychic?! Rios: (with funny jamaican accent) just call me Miss Cleo. Tyson and Elliot: Army of Two. Random Villager: Burn Her Anyway!! Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Demonic Voice: I command you, in the name of lucifer, to spill the blood of the innocent. Chicago Record, Little Nicky A ninja must see through deceptions... Kako-kun... You just want to have sex with me, don't you? - Chizuru Crap! The moe value of that expression nearly knocked me over. - Takumi Chrono, the map is upside-down. - Azmaria Azmaria is amazing. She's already learning how to kiss up to rich people at such an age... - Rosette gasp "Chrono, what have you done...!? - Rosette To Chrono after he fell into Satella's chest If you protect someone, certainly you will hurt another. - Mary Magdalene "So my... my bread is... Dead weight?!" (Sanae runs away crying) Shoves bread in mouth "I love them!!" I just love the smell of C4 in the morning! - Ling Ling Why does the pack have to be behind you when the pack can be in front. - Miko Kioto School Girls! - Kimura-sensei, on what made him become a teacher Sometimes I see dirt, and I try to follow it with my eyes. - Osaka 42... 30... 31! Our marks add up to 103! We win! - The Bonkuras (Osaka, Kagura, Tomo), upon seeing Chiyo getting 100 (full marks) in a test "'Cuz I like high school girls and stuff!" - Kimura-Sensei "Love letter. Love letter. Love letter." - Yukari Hm, these are truly beautiful flowers. I wonder whose flower will br wilted first? - Yukari Amazing! I'm a genius. . . . Sorry, I just wanted to use the word 'genius'. - Graham Spector It's a wonderfully fun and sad talk, right? We'll be having fun, and they'll be sad. - Graham Spector 'Life is fun.' Try chanting that 100, 000 times a day! You'll go crazy and all the pain will go away! - Graham Spector My okays are so okay that they're too okay. - Graham Spector Pity and compassion and privileges reserved for the strong. And I am strong. - Vino Anyway, I'm sad, but I'm sure you're all having fun. - Graham Spector Boredom is life's complete state in order to welcome a coffee break. - Graham Spector Not being able to talk is fortunate in a way. When people are speaking of sorrow, when they speak of joy and when they speak of anger, they use an abnormally large amount of energy. Even more when it's fear and pain. So in that sense, losing your voice and cowering in fear is... in a way, it's human instinct and self-defense mechanism to save your energy for the right time. Hmmm... damn. I just said something pretty smart. - Graham Spector Incomprehensibility is a part of human life. But what does this mean? I just can't understand it. - Graham Spector No, it's good, money is good. I'm not sure why, but everyone says money is good. - Graham Spector Do you know what Jesus said in John chapter 5? He said, Don't bring me any trouble, bitch! - Edel I've come to deliver some bad luck! - Train Heartnet (Black cat) I anticipate your arrival for if you knew what was waiting here, you'd never show your face. - Creed Diskenth Ah its about time. I always knew you were around the corner, waiting to pounce, just like a good cat and now, you've imbraced your fate! - Creed Diskenth A pistol's job is what its handler chooses. If i don't wanna shoot, then I won't - Saya How did I pass? She beat me like I owed her money. - Ichigo We fear that which we cannot see... we respect that which we cannot see... thus the blade will be wielded. - opening words of the first episode If I were the rain, that binds together the earth and sky, who in all eternity will never mingle... I ain't such a saint that I can promise to risk my life for strangers. Neither am I scum to sit quietly while people are getting hurt before my eyes! - Kurosaki Ichigo We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine... forever. - Hitsugaya Toshiro A strong will is stronger than steel - Urahara People are able to hold onto hope, since death is that which cannot be seen. - Rukia Kuchiki When cleaning a house, it doesn't matter if there's one speck of dirt or two... - Sosuke You humans are always talking about hearts. It's as if you hold them in your hand. But my eye see everything. Nothing can get past it and what it doesn't see, doesn't exsist. That's the way I've always fought. What is a heart? If I rip open you chest, will I see it? If I crack open your skull, will I find it in there? - Ulquiorra Schiffer We stand in awe before that which can not be seen... And we respect, with every fiber, that which can not be explained. - Rukia You nuts?! What kind of sick twisted freak attacks his own son while he laying there sleeping?! - Ichigo Abandon your fear. Turn and face him. Don't give an inch. Now, Ichigo, advance! Never stop! If you retreat, you will age. Be afraid, and you'll die. - Zangetsu That wasn't very nice. I do believe you've killed my hat. - Kisuke Arrogance destroys the footholds of victory - Buuyakya Ya gotta wonder about someone who'd be dumb enough to follow a person as crazy as he is. Wait, I think I just insulted myself. - Ganju Shiba If you two are gonna goof off, try not to be so obvious about it. - Ikkaku Did I just get nick-named Pencil? - Uryu Ishida A battle without risk is simply a child's quarrel. - Kariya You live like an ivy vine you can only live by clinging onto the trees depending them, thats your flaw. Put down some roots so someday you can stand on your own. - Zaraki Kenpachi Is history something that repeats, and remains unchanged? Or does it evolve with the passing of time? And if it does repeat, should we try to break that cycle, or resign ourselves to it? - Rukia I believe that the future is a straight line. - Renji If history repeats itself, and moves in a circular path, then believing that whatever force is turning it is perfect, is all we can do as we move ahead. Pushed along by forces beyond our control, waiting, for the blade to be swung.- Rukia A good friend will bail you out of Jail. A best friend will be sitting right next to you, saying " Man we fucked up" If at First you don't succeed, keep fucking up until you do. Life sucks. You're born, you live your life, and then the world turns around and bites you in the ass. Don't feel bad to reach for the last piece of pizza or last can of beer, but never both. That's just greedy. If a tree falls down, is it heard. If you're Chuck Norris, then yes. Chuck Norris can hear everything. When you think the worst is over. Think Again. 10 out of 8 people have trouble with fractions. Do not be like the cliches in horror movies, where they go on their own and get killed. Look to the person on your left. Now look to the person on your right. they're both liars. Be very careful about who you piss off. They might have mob connections. "If you had the strength, you could live. This is our contract. In return for my gift of power, you must grant one of my wishes. If you enter this contract, you will live as a human, but also as one completely different. Different rules, different time, a different life... The power of the king will make you lonely indeed. If you are prepared for that, then..." - CC Fear me for im the one to pass judgement on this sinful world "Those who shoot must be prepared to get SHOT!" - zero The world wont change in pretty words alone. - charles Fake Tears bring misery to those around you. And what's the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge - Spike Spiegel You're a GIRL?! - Faye talking to Ed A man can't just live on carbohydrates alone... - Spike Spegiel Bansai, bathtoy, wise guy, waterboy, lights shine bright in the o-town tonight - Ed There is nothing left to believe in. - Vicious Why don't we drink to me and my reflection in your lovely eyes? - Cowboy Andy The past is the past... and the future is the future. A man is a man, and a woman is a woman. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Like it really matters anyway... - Faye Valentine There are three things I hate the most: Kids, pets, & women with additude. So tell me, why do we have all of them packed into our ship!? - Spike Spiegel Ed will introduce Ed. Full name - Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the 4th. Ed made up that name for Ed, isn't it cool? - Ed Faye faye smoke smoke, faye faye puff puff! Yay! - Ed Funny, funny smeeeelll. - Ed I'm not going there to die. I'm going to find out if I'm really alive. - Spike Spiegel I think I know, I don't think I know, I don't think I think I know, I don't think I think. - Lesson #3 : If you see a stranger, Follow him - Ed I'm watching a dream I'll never wake up from.. - Spike Spiegel points to Jet "Don't give me that art of war crap! And you! points to the other man You take too long to take a sht" - Spike Spiegel I'm only watching a dream I never awakened from. - Spike Spiegel Everything has a beginning and an end. Life is just a cycle of starts and stop signs. There are ends we don't desire but they're inevitable, we have to face them. It's what being human is all about. - Jet Black Man always thinks about the past before he dies, as if he were frantically searching for proof that he truly lived. - Jet Black I've never in my life wanted to punch a girl like I want to right now... - Kira I will take a potato chip... and EAT IT! - Light Yagami/Kira Misa: I would never dream about living in a world without Light! Although this is an unlikely example, if they were to ask the question, "Is it wrong to kill people?" at school, everyone would get on their high moral horse and say "Yes, that''s wrong." Of course, that''s the correct answer to give. Humans will always seek to maintain appearances in public. But this is what they''re really thinking. Even if they''re too scared to support me publicly, they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. Support for "Kira" is growing. They don''t have to say it, because they already know someone is erasing the wicked. The innocent are screaming internally, "Go for it, Kira!", whilst those who are guilty run and hide in fear. - Light Ryuk, I never once felt like I was cursed when I picked up the Deathnote. If anything, its made me even happier than ever before. - Light Light...from one murderer to another, I'll see you in hell - Cheif Light: Just watch me L... I solve equations with my right hand, and right names with my left. - Light I don't care about no artificial humans! - Chichi “In violence we forget who we are.” Mary McCarthy “I am a soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight,” - General George S. Patton “Never underestimate the power of passion.” - Eve Sawyer There are three things I cannot tolerate: cowerdice, bad haircuts, and military insurrection, and it is very unfortunate that our friend Vegeta posseses all three of these. - Freeza I am the worlds strongest Coffee Candy! - Vegetto Goku! I'd rather die than fuse with you!" I think you managed to singe some of my leg hairs! - Radditz You may be powerful 500 times than me Li Shenron but, my mind is millions time powerful than you are- Goku Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are. - Lucy You're thinking in Japanese! If you must think, do it in German! - Asuka Langley Soryu Survivability takes priority. - Misato Katsurag Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire. - Rei Ayanami Mankind has no time left. - Gendo Ikari "The beginning and the end are one and the same" - Lawrence Keel "As long as one person still lives...it shall be proof eternal that mankind ever existed" - Yui Ikari and Prof. Fuyutsuki Who is this place? Where are you? Me am Excel! - Excel That's life. Those are life. This is life. They're all lives. - Excel ...well maybe Padro should show you a flashback instead. - Pedro Senior, do you suppose that this review episode is actually a way to relieve the tight production schedule for the staff? - Hyatt Come on, scribbles on the bathroom wall, please show me the path that I must follow! - Excel Please don't worry, Mister, I only came here to obliterate you- not rob you. - Excel Aren't we just a few lilies short of a shojo-ai? - Excel referring to the scene "Don't ever forget that with each step a person is able to take on their own, they have become that much stronger." - Tamahome "Death is certain, the hour is not." - engraved on the count You cry for bird's blood, but not for fish's blood. Fortunate for ones with voice. If the dolls also had voices, they would have screamed, 'I didn't want to become human. - Major Motoko Kusanagi No matter how far a jackass travels, it won't come back a horse. - Bateau I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf mutes. - Laughing Man "The time has come to cast aside these bonds and to elevate our consciousness to a higher plane. It is time to become a part of all things!" - Project 2501, The Puppet Master "Life and death come and go like marionettes dancing on a table. Once their stings are cut, they easily crumble." - Writing on the wall "Humans are nothing but the thread from which the dream of life is woven." - Kim Studying is not for getting good grades but for training yourself to overcome hardship. - Yankumi In this worl, there are only enemies or allies - Real comrades are those who will be with you when you're in the most pain. They can show their weakness and tears in front of you - Yankumi Some may say that after graduation each has their own life, and it's no big deal to have been in the same class with someone in high school. But the time spent here together can't be experience anywhere else. - Yankumi "Oh God...how...powerless we are..." - Tachikoma People die when they are killed. - Emiya Shirou "Someday, my memories of her will fade. Her voice, her actions I might forget them as well. But even then, I will always remember that I loved her." - Emiya Shirou Would you like to see my daughter? I have some pictures right here! - Maes Hughes My right hand is the judgement of god! - Scar On the day we left, we burned down the family home and all the familiar things inside. Because some memories... aren't meant to leave traces. - Alphonse Elric But I can't do this! How am I supposed to lead our troops in fending off a major siege? I'm just a freaking lieutenant! - Havoc Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving somthing in return. To obtain something with equal value must be lost. - Law of Equivalent Exchange I say it because its true. And when i'm fuhrer there will be changes. That day, all female officers will be required to wear... TINY MINI SKIRTS!! - Mustang Eh don't say pipsqueak! - Edward I LOVE DOGS!! - Roy Mustang Stand up and walk forward. - Edward Maes: That reminds me! The colonel said don't die before I do you're not worth the paperwork On the day we left,we burned down the family home and all the familiar things inside. Because some memories aren't meant to leave traces - Alphonse Elric I love dogs! Dogs define loyalty, they follow their masters commands above all else! Be a jerk to they and they never complain and they never once beg for a paycheck! Why are you running away, thats awful - Ryuichi Sakuma hehehe you keep going around and around, and around and around you are going to get dizzy. - Ryuichi Giant flying squirrel! - Ryuichi Stop making me repeat myself! Its bad for my health! - Duo Maxwell If I have the power to make a differencen why not put it to good use? - Kira Yamito Murrue: That's sexual harassment, major. There goes another self-destruct system to waste. - Trowa Burton I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit - Trowa Burton Oh, man, Quatre loves to blame himself for everything if you let him. Sooner or later, he'll start saying that there's no air in space because he didn't work on it hard enough. - Duo Maxwell Kira Yamato : You're...you're a girl?! I came to laugh at you! - Chars Aznabal You hit me...! Even my father never hit me before!! - Amuro Ray "History is much like an endless waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever." - Marimeia Kushranada One does not care to acknowledge the mistakes of one's youth. Real love will make you blind, but if you let it, it will also open your eyes - Eikichi Onizuka WHat happens if i got bit by a bat" "worst case scenario you die, best case you become immortal" -Hank and kevin R Lawson Power, when used properly is invisible. - Mafia I know the happiness of spending meaningless time. - Claes Optimistic wishes usually don't come true. - Triela I am the will of God, messenger of the divine punishment of Heaven - Paladin Alexander Anderson Now I'll show you how real vampires do battle! - Alucard I shouldn't just kill that bitch like the others. I will f her, and f her, and f her dead body again! - Yan Valentine You are just dog food. - Alucard gunfire And while you're waiting for us to kill you, we highly recomend pssing yourself, Followed by a course of praying to your impudent god. And cowarding in the corner and begging, always good. But if you act now, theres still time for an old-fashioned Suicide!! Thank you London! We love you! goodnight!! - Yan Valentine I'd rather leave this stage...you damned sadist - Rika Furude This is also a death ill never forget - Hanyuu Furude Hey Hey your overstaying your welcome in my house-If your not going to come I WILL! - Shion Sonozaki How could I forget? He's into dead girls! - Kagome It's improbable, it's impossible, it's against my religion. - Miroku Even though I hate violence, I hate to lose even more. - Miroku Please bear my child. - Miroku After all, I'm one hell of a butler. - Sebastian A dream... I'm inside a dream... Just the same view over and over again... I wish for only one thing in that dozy state. I wish I will see a different sky when I awake. - Tsukimiya Ayu I see. I learned something new ... - Tsukimiya Ayu How can you love others when you don't love yourself? - Midarezaki Kyouka "If someone were to drown in the seas for my sake, then I would be released from stone and return to life...to life once more. But if I were to return to life one day, which would give me the most important thing - I would then cry alone. I would cry longing for my stone. Of what use would my blood be even if it were to ripen like wine for it would not be able to bring back the one who loved me most from the water's depth." - Cossette "Memories - they can sometimes become vague and foggy and there are times when they disappear altogether. Therefore, because there are many things I don't want to lose track of, I will record everything in here for the sake of those moments that should not be forgotten" - Haruka reading excerpts form Keisuke Urashima's diary Good ol' Zenigata, the archetypal Japanese man. Totally devoted to his work. - Lupin III Lupin! Don't you dare die before I get to arrest you! - Inspector Zenigata About the Roman ruins. They're going to be fine...ish - Goemon If You Look Away, You'll Die - Rena "Do not allow yourself to be blinded by fear or anger. Everything is only as it is." - Nui They looked at me the wrong way, so their gonna die - Gaara All I have to do is cover your big mouth...but that would be to boring and painless... - Gaara What is the price of eternal life? To be unable to walk in the sun ever again - to part with complete finality from the world in which you've lived all your life never to return for all eternity." - Shido When does a person really die? Is it when they are shoot? NO, a person dies if HE HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN! - Dr. Hiluluk... So long, ya freaking bastards! - Sanji The situation has changed. It's not you who wants to kill us any more - it's us who want to kill YOU. - Zoro Knowing yourself, knowing the world, surpass this sword, surpass me. Until that time comes, you are not allowed to lose, you are not allowed to die. I will wait for you as the greatest swordsman in the world! - Mihouku\ "The world has not yet heard our answer." - Dragon "There is no mistake! It's Pirate Hunter Roronoah Zoro. He's cleaning our floors the fiend!" - Random Marine I want to live! Take me out to sea with you! - Robin You cannot change your fate; however, you can rise to meet it. - The world suffused with sound. - Quon Listen up numbskull, if Kasumi isn't back by dinnertime, we're gonna have to eat Akane's cooking, and if we do that, man oh man we're gonna wish we were lost at sea! - Ranma No one's gonna take her from me...Akane's mine...and she's engaged to me!! - Ranma I am going to guide these people that I have chosen to a blissful heaven. - Amakusa Shōgo I will bear your pain for you now, and find a path of repentance.. - Kenshin talking to Tomoe "You can train a dog with food, you can buy a person with money, but there isn't a man alive able influence the wolves of Mibu! Some things will never change. A wolf will always be a wolf, the Shinsen Gumi will always be the Shinsen Gumi, and a manslayer will always be a manslayer!" - Goro Fujita, also known as Hajime Saito "The moon pierced down on the diseased world. There is no cure for the disease. An entire race falls mindlessly into destruction. Not even a man of colossal power may be able to prevent the inevitable. Death no longer terrifies men. The smell of blood is as common as the smell of white plums, so he creates slavery and savagery which surpasses the horrors of dying. These can only be fought with more bloodshed and the cycle never ends. My sword is guided by the reasoning of Hiten Mitsurugi, but when all is said, a sword is a tool for destruction not salvation. The only way I can retain my humanity is to bury its victims." (Samurai X) - Seijiro Hiko "Murder is the only art a swordsman may practice. No ornamental words can change that. You want to protect people with murder? You'll slaughter legions so that a few may live. Many years, long before you were born, my sword was tearing asunder the lives of men. Yes, all of those men were evil, but they were human beings first and foremost, Kenshin. The world you ardently desire to enter will not know what to do with you. It will deceive you into believing that you are saving lives even as you destroy them. You will accept these lies all the while, your hands will be stained with the worst of offenses." (Samurai X) - Seijiro Hiko You cannot run. You cannot escape the blood when you have slain so many. You can only live and die and all that must be by the sword!" (Samurai X) - Kenshin Himura quoting Shaku Arai "I knew then...I knew that the world needed him and that I couldn't change his way of life - that it wasn't mine...it wasn't mine to change. But even though I knew it...even though I knew it, I wanted to chase him, to somehow keep him." (Samurai X) - Kaoru Himura "The trees cry out as they die, but you cannot hear them. I lie here. I listen to the pain of the forest and feel the ache of the bullet in my chest and dream of the day when I will finally crunch that gun woman's head in my jaws...San is my daughter. She is of the wolf tribe. When the forest dies, so does she...I caught her human parents defiling my forest. They threw their baby at my feet as they ran away. Instead of eating her, I raised her as my own. Now my poor, ugly, beautiful daughter is neither human nor wolf." Nobody chooses my future but me! - Anita King Is there a need for a reason to kill someone? - Mugen From now on, I'd like to spend my days with you. - Makoto You're despicable! - Saionji Sekai Like I said, you were lying. There's no one inside you. - Kotonoha Katsura No matter where you are... "If you aren't remembered, then you never existed." - Arisu Don't tell me he wants to conquer the world? Can't he come up with something more original? - Lina Inverse "Oh great, it's a kid! I thought I was rescuing a babe, a luscious damsel in distress not some flat chested little girl!" - Gourry Gabriev "Now that is a secret!" - Xellos "The world you want can't be built after destruction. we build it everyday-step by step!" - Lina Inverse A true man never dies, even when he's killed. - Kamina That's a load of crap. But ... it's a load of crap I can get behind. - Viral Who the hell do you think I am!? - Kamina, later by Simon and others.. Believe in yourself...not in me that believes in you...not in you that believes in me...believe in you that believes in you! - Kamina I d never seen eyes like that before on anyone. They were so deep, so endlessly deep as if they could see everything and devour it all in the process. - Shirō Tagami Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgement. Like a kind of mental illness. - Haruhi Suzumiya The Santa that showed up at my Kindergarden Christmas festival? I knew he was fake. And I never saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, either. But I have to say, even as a little kid I knew better to believe in some old man who worked only one day a year. - Kyon Crocodile Dundee: "That's not a knife... this is a knife." Jana Carvy: "Why go up shit creek without a paddle?" Jack Sparrow: "I think he went in a... 'that way' direction. Drake Parker: "Orphans love baseball!" Why do psychics have to ask for your name? If a cow laughs does milk come out its nose? If the opposite of pro is con, then, what's the opposite of progress? If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2? Naruto was smart (insanity had nothing to do with one’s intelligence). Naruto was a good person. (virtue was relative after all). Naruto had all the qualities of a ruler (he wanted to be one; how much more do you need?)… When the "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business, did they see it coming? Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" Why is the word abbreviation so long? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? If the sky is the limit, then is space over the limit? Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?! Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?? Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons? If two wrongs don't make a right, why do two negatives make a positive? Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'? If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware? Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free? If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented? If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it Fed UP? If quitters never win and winners never quit how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?! Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from? Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo? Haruhi's incomprehensible words settled the matter. Oh, joy. Just do whatever you want. - Kyon The pony tail you had back whenever was so good it was criminal. - Kyon After all, the fate of the world rests on my pitching. The world sure isn't worth much these days. - Kyon When you put it that way I can't say I don't get the feeling it doesn't or does it. But you can't say it wouldn't be difficult to assert that claim. Well then. How many negatives did I just string together? - Kyon Leaving various mysteries and inconsistancies completely unaddressed the story has finally reached the midway point. Wait. It's only half over? - Kyon This feels like extortion. - Kyon Don't use a serious tone. Don't breathe on me. Your face is too close. Freaking me out. - Kyon Kyon: Do I have to live in this grey world all alone with Haruhi? What is this? Where are we? Why did you bring me here? Why are you l-locking the door? What are you... - Asahina Mikuru I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers here, come join me. That is all. - Suzumiya Haruhi (Mikuru faints) Kyon: (Narrating) Normally, one would call an ambulance or ask for help from one of the nearby residents, but this particular boy decided to carry the unconscious innocent girl and where the hell are you taking her, bastard? - Kyon Kyon: (In his mind) Attention everyone. The name of this fledging club has just been decided. Haruhi: (introduces herself) (The battle has begun) That's classified - Asahina Mikuru Sometimes I get the feeling that we're all just a bunch of clowns standing on our tiptoes at the edge of a great abyss. - Koizumi Itsuki Talking to you feels like having a period. - Ami The Legend of the Razgriz: Whenever history witnesses a great change, Razgriz reveals itself... first, as a dark demon. As a demon, it uses its power to rain death upon the land, and then it dies. However, after a period of slumber, Razgriz returns, this time, as a great hero. Amidst the eternal waves of time From a ripple of change shall the storm rise Out of the abyss peer the eyes of a demon Behold the Razgriz, its wings of black sheath The demon soars through dark skies Fear and death trail its shadow beneath Until men united wield a hallowed sabre In final reckoning, the beast is slain As the demon sleeps, man turns on man His own blood and madness soon cover the earth From the depths of despair awaken the Razgriz Its raven wings ablaze in majestic light. If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'? I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser. -"I'm cruel and unusual. Does that make me illegal?" – a friend of mine “Power to make real your dreams is achieved in the process. Power to protect, power to defend, power to fight back. Power it’s a collateral of the path to your dream, not a prerequisite.” Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh. I'm not a complete idiot... Some parts are missing. It was times like this that he could truly imagine the deity in charge having a desk with two buttons, one saying “Armageddon” and the other saying “Screw Over Naruto.” The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra. Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. I will temporarily rule the world, forever. Life is like robbing a bank; so worth the while! You want to know who your real friends are? Screw up and see who's still there- (A good one!!) Don't tell me the sky's the limit, when there's footprints on the moon- Don't look at me with that tone of voice!- Silence is golden, duck-tape is sliver- It's a wonder they haven't locked you up yet- A good friend would come and bail you out of jail. A true friend would be sitting there beside you saying, "Man that was fun! Let's do it again!" Question: if some one with multiple personalities threatens to commit to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?? Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door... He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness "Comfort the Disturbed and Disturb the Comfortable" -Unknown -"Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie" -Unknown Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. You've gotta die in creative ways. They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck. Then the truck backed up and ran them over again. If it's not nailed down, it's fair game. To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy When in doubt, use brute force. When that doesn't work...RUN LIKE HELL! Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it. Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together. Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy. I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere. You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough. If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break. Push something hard enough and it will fall. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes! I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified. Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest. Schizophrenia beats being alone. Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity (It's true I tell you!) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view you want weapons, we're in a library. books the greatest weapons in the universe, this library is our greatest arsenal" throws book to idiot "arm yourself"-doctor who Don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell your mom and dad about Dont catch an STD cause we'll laugh at you and let you keep it for a while to teach you a lesson Where's Chris" "i slapped him into next week, don't worry he'll be back on tuesday" "People want to live" "No they don't want to die, there's a difference" "People in Paris speak french" any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanies by drawbacks and discomforts if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it change your attitude, don't complain I am Valentinez Alkalinelia Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobillo Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser. Don't hesitate to call. - Vash introducing himself to Wolfwood Love and Peace! - Vash ... if you let the fly live, the spider is going to die. You can't save both without one suffering.. - Knives It must be the way you look, Vash the Stampede. Your very existence seems to cause me undue irritation. - Legato It's a simple formula. The greater the tragedy, the greater the emotional effect. - Legato (Trigun) And to think, I could kill every man, woman and child here in the blink of an eye if I wanted to. The power of death is intoxicating - Legato Give me the gift of nothingness, give me death. - Legato My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!! - Vash Thou Shalt not Kill! What the hell kind of a churchman are you!? - Vash talking to Wolfwood Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave a single man alive. La dee da dee dide, genocide. La dee da dee dud, an ocean of blood. Let's begin the killing time. - Vash Suicide? To tell you the truth, I disagree with suicide more than anything. - Vash Actually, I can t stand blood. Just the sight of it makes me feel faint. - Vash If the majority can be saved by the death of a lesser amount, than so be it. - Nicholas D. Wolfwood First, you cry your eyes out like an abandoned baby, then you run around jumping off cliffs! What the hell s the matter with you? - Nicholas D. Wolfwood "The choices we make in life have unlimited possibilities." - Rem Saverem "We should have died a very long time ago, you and I, the instant we fell upon this sandy land without pain, without sorrow. Now the schedule has merely been set back. The end is near. It is time to embrace it. That is why...that is why I must end it. End it now!" - Legato Bluesummers Even so...Even so, so people will still betray you! - Ion Esther - I...have a dream. I want to make a world where vampires and humans can live in peace. In the past, i though vampires were my enemies. - Esther Blanchett You're a strange person. How do I say it...? You're interesting for a terran. - Ion Esther - sigh What happened this time? I promised you! I'll be your sheild and haliberd... What are you doing? Go! - Brother Petros You are...my food...I'm going to eat you now - Abel (Crusnik) I long for him... but I understand. There's a line that vampires and humans can't cross. - Yuuki Cross The world is dyed with the color of blood. It will never be able to go back to the way it was before. - Yuuki You heard it too? The sound of your blood being sucked in by me. After such a hair-raising experience you can't act as if nothing has changed. So don't interfere anymore. - Zero I couldn't stop myself from devouring you. I may kill the next human I target as my prey. Shoot me. You're afraid of me, aren't you? Hold the gun with both hands, and aim straight. Aim for my heart. It's not a crime to kill a vampire - Zero Are you sure? Even if the hidden truth is drenched in blood...Do you still want to know...? - Kaname Hey baby, what's your blood type? - Aidou bursts into tears I can't talk about it! It's so horrible! They were-- they were-- the milk! Oh God, the milk! - Ken Hidaka It is not the Earth we wish to destroy. It is mankind. Men kill, they hate, and they devastate this planet. What reason, then, must they exist? What the Earth needs now is tranquility. - Nataku from X: The Movie These obscenities that man has created, the corruption, the pollution, all these must be annihilated, nature will reclaim its dominion, the Earth will breathe again; but first must come the apocalypse. - Kanoe from X: The Movie There is no such thing as coinidence in this world. The only thing...is hitsuzen - Yuko No matter how unimportant the meeting...how small the outcome...it will always have some later effect on you. - Yuko One things for sure, Like a rolling stone it cant be stopped now... - Yuko I consider your class of demon very worthy, worthy to fight, and worthy to die - Yoko Kurama So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity? - Do you think he knows it's a circle? - Hiei I know as much of games as hugs and puppies, and care for them even less. - Hiei Does a death wish cause you to talk to me that way? - Hiei I don't like it! It smells girly! - Kuwabara Don't talk, it makes you sound stupid. - Yusuke You try to sound like you think through things, when in fact you're not thinking at all. - Kurama You're a team player, a save the day superhero. I hate people like you. - Hiei Hiei, I can't accept this. I value our friendship and all we've been through but... I don't like you that way. - Kurama "The family jewels have not been stolen" - Yusuke Idiot! There can't be earthquakes on the water!- Hiei When I was young I used to think the world was a happy place. Then I learned the truth: that nothing is fair and everything you love gets taken away. - Rafael “That’s not very subtle,” Gaara criticized. “Screw subtlety,” "It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices." -Dumbledore "I am Saurfang. Brother of Broxigar. You know me to be the Supreme Commander of the Might of Kalimdor. An orc - a true orc warrior - wishes for one thing: To die in the glory of battle against a hated enemy. Some of you have fought in battles. Peace has been with us for many years. Many years we sat idle but many years we battled. In those years - where strife the land and Legion and Scourge sacked our homes, killed our families - these insects dwelled beneath us. Beneath our homes - waiting. Waiting to crush the life from our little ones. To slay all in their path. This they do for their god. And for our gods? We defend. We stand. We show that as one. United. We destroy. Their god will fall. To die today, on this field of battle, is to die an orcish death. To die today is to die for our little ones. Our old ones. Our… loved ones. Would any of you deny yourselves such a death? Such an honor?" -High Overlord Saurfang, during the opening of Ahn'Qiraj world event "Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them Frodo?" -Gandalf "I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened." "So do all who see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." -Frodo, then Gandalf "Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" -Gandalf "Are you insane?!" "As a matter of fact, I AM! You got a problem with that!?" "There's a lot more to a person or a society then the biased bullshit they teach you in school." "I may be selfish, but at least I'm good at it! Everytime you try to help someone they're either worse then they were before or you end up looking like the bad guy! Usually, it's both, too!" "I never thought it would end like this..." "End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, that we must all take. The gray rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it." "What, Gandalf? See what?" "White shores...and beyond. A far green country, under a swift sunrise." "Well...that doesn't sound so bad." "No. No it doesn't." -Gandalf and Pippin "Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Men of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake all bonds of fellowship! But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men, of the West!" -Aragorn, right before the Battle of Morannon (Black Gate) "You lied to your men, and betrayed the mercenaries who fought for you! . . . What's happening to you Arthas? Is vengeance all that's important to you?" -Muradin Bronzebeard "Now...We are ONE!" -Arthas and Ner'zhul at the same time "There's no 'I' in 'Team'. Of course, there isn't a 'P' in it either, so that's out of the question." "Mine'll grow back. Yours, on the other hand..." Logan "Thought this was the Danger Room. Oughtta rename it, or you could be sued for fake advertisin'." -Logan "Are you Spider-Man?" "No darlin'...Spider-Man's a sissy." -Logan and a little girl "I said huntin' honeybunch- I said nothin' about killin'. Takes no skill t'kill." -Logan "Maybe I don't like hospitals. Last time I was on an operatin' table, it didn't turn out so well." -Logan "Human's being an animal, bub- though most animals wouldn't take that as a compliment." -Logan "Heroes act out of their free will. I've just had mine taken from me." -Naruto Uzumaki in the lord of the land of fire's The True Monster "We exist for a single purpose: Retribution." -Darion Mograine "All is not lost, not yet." -Darion Mograine "For us there is no peace; no rest." -Darion Mograine "Harness your hate, make it useful." -Darion Mograine "We know much...about sacrifice." -Darion Mograine "Too long have I sat idle, gripped in this haze...this malaise, lamenting what could have been...what should have been. Your death will not have been in vain, Taelan. A new Order is born on this day...an Order which will dedicate itself to extinguishing the evil that plagues this world. An evil that cannot hide behind politics and pleasantries. This I promise...This I vow..." -Tirion Fordring "Have you learned nothing boy? You have become all that your father fought against! Like that coward Arthas, you allowed yourself to be consumed by the darkness, the hate, feeding upon the misery of those you tortured and killed! Your master knows what lies beneath the Chapel. That is why he dares not show his face! He sent your death knights to meet their doom, Darion. What you are feeling now is the anguish of a thousand lost souls, souls that you , and your master brought here! The Light will tear you APART, Darion!" -Tirion Fordring "We have all been witness to a terrible tragedy. The blood of good men has been shed upon this soil. Honorable knights, slain defending their lives...our lives. And while such things can never be forgotten, we must remain vigilante in our cause. The Lich King must answer for what he is done, and must not be allowed to cause further destruction in our world! I make a promise to you now, brothers and sisters, the Lich King will be defeated! On this day, I call for a union! The Argent Dawn, and the Order of the Silver Hand shall come together as one! We shall succeed where so many before us have failed! We will take the fight to Arthas, and tear down the walls of Icecrown! THE ARGENT CRUSADE COMES FOR YOU, ARTHAS!" -Tirion Fordring "Wanna know what I do when life gives me lemons? Well, I stare at it, and then ask, "Why's my grape big? And yellow?"" "There's a very fine line between bravery and stupidity. Arrogance often leaves you hanging right at the end of the stupid part." "If it's not possible, then why the hell's it happening?" "Stop staring at them!" "Hey, it's partly your fault for choosing something that practically SCREAMS 'Hey! Stare at them! Stare at them! Stop loitering and STARE AT THEM!'!" "Where I lay my head is home. See that rock? Tha"t's my pillow." -Rexxar "I'll learn to respect my elders when they learn to respect me, instead of thinking they're better just because they've lived longer and have flabby skin. "Being born a half-breed, does not make you Mok'Nathal." -Leoroxx "You know, if you're trying to assassinate someone, it's generally not a good idea to tell them you're trying to assassinate them." "Now, my vengeance...is YOURS." -Feltharion the Dark Forgemaster "What do I do when I see my glass and someone asks me if it's half empty or half full? I start looking around, before saying, 'Alright, who the hell stole a swig of my vodka?'." "If we all charished song and drink over gold and jewels, the world would be a merrier place." -Thorin Oakenshield, these were his last words "Well...final count...42." "Ahhhh...a fine good number that is...but...I got...43." "-shoots an arrow at an Uruk-Hai underneath Gimli- 43." "He was already dead!" "He was twitching!" "Aye...he was twitching...because he had my axe embedded in his NERVOUS SYSTEM!!" -Gimli and Legolas "Remember, the best way to cheat death is to not die." -That parrot-monkey thing in Jak 3...can't remember what his name is... "I am a servant of the Secret Fire...wielder of the flame of Anor!" "YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!" "Fly you fools!" -Gandalf, during and after the fight with the Balrog in Moria "Wait...why are they walking? HE SAID FLY!!" "For Aiur! Err...I mean Ner'zhul." -Necrolyte gag phrase "-phone ringing- Hello? No, no! I'm a DREADLORD, NOT a DRUG LORD!" -Dreadlord gag phrase "I die free..." -Aldaris "...Zach...I'm gonna say something to express my annoyance at the deep doo-doo we've just gotten into...I'll give you a hint; it starts with F and ends with uck..." "Firetruck?" "...Ya, let's go with that." "I knew you'd come. . .let's settle this once and for all, my unforgivable past!" -Siegfried in Soul Calibur 3, right before fighting Nightmare if you manage to put in the button sequence so you move out of the way of the cage "-echo- You have no right for you to live! You will never run away from your sin! It is a sin for you to live!" "It does not matter. . .to live, that, is my redemption. . ." -An echo of Nightmare's voice in Siegfried's mind, then Siegfried, after defeating Abyss in Soul Calibur 3 as Siegfried and putting in the right code of buttons that appears on the screen during the cinematic "Sometimes, the most heroic choices aren't the right ones." This particular jounin, a man named Takeda, was known for his persuasive skills, and for what was called in polite circles “aggressive persuasion”, and was clearly not in the mood for a negative response. Gaara however was not particularly known to be open to persuasion. In fact usually when the words “Gaara” and “listen to reason” appeared in a mission report they were separated by words like “wouldn’t” and followed by something resembling “and killed him anyway.” Given the chance, Morino Ibiki would like to invite both ninjas over for tea but oddly the invitations were always refused or lost in the mail. They’re so used to looking underneath the underneath that when something completely obvious, like an opponent killing their leader and taking his place, happens they refuse to believe it could be that simple.” “You interrogated her?” Kankurou, to Temari’s left, laughed slightly. “Nothing like you might think. Gaara just kinda stared at her for about two minutes, and she spilled the whole story. Fucking creepy, but if it works…” “Aw, fuck me.” “ Yugito-neechan, what –” Naruto leaned over and whispered something hurried into the girl’s ear. She turned beet red. Tayuya raised her hand, which Naruto quickly high-fived. Yugito rolled her eyes. “Idiots. Absolute, complete idiots.” Naruto grinned. “But at least we’re fun, right?” Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong botton, you will be disconnected. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. -With all due respect, a rampaging dragon is NOT something you want to be in the way of. -Holy Hell. -Do you really want to make me angry? -Fine. It's your ass, not mine. -Beware of the Frying Pan of Doom! -But it's a beautiful day! The sun is shining, and I can hear birds singing, the buster charging near my head...wait a minute. -Reality bites in a variety of sizes and teeth. -Gravity is a harsh mistress!...owowow. -I don't know about you, but I'm getting the hell outta here. -Who, me? I'm gettin' out of the blast range. -Make the stupid people shut up. -We can't make the stupid people go away-who would we have to laugh at when they fall down? -Death to idiots and morons! -That includes you, dumbass. -Pass the popcorn, wilya? I wanna see this guy get his ass handed to him in style. -Senseless violence solves everything. -...Great. Now I'm all hungry. -There is no word to describe exactally how drunk they got. -For example, I could get dead-off-my-ass drunk--and in an hour, I'd be back for more. -If you make it idiot proof, someone will just make a better idiot. -The beatings will continue until morale increases. -Everyday I think people couldn't get any stupider. Everyday I am proved horribly, horribly wrong. -Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. -Lord, please put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. -You walk a fine line between bravery and stupidity, mate. You might want to watch were you're going. -Oh the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. -Holy crap, hell just froze over. -I like my head right where it is, thanks. -My sanity is beginning to flat-line. -My sanity has long ago departed the land of the living. -No amount of thearpy is ever going to make this ok. -It isn't the size of the gun that matters, but how loud the 'bang!' is. -Everyday the world edges closer to insanity. -There is no black and white, only shades of gray. -When in doubt, hold a demolition derby. -...Don't you people ever duck? -My wings define who I am. Without them, I am nothing. -In a perfect world, all great stories would be finished and no author would be cursed with writer's block. -It's fun to watch the faces of people when they realise just how badly they've underestimated you. If you hummed loud enough maybe you wouldn’t hear them scream. If you closed your eyes tightly enough maybe you wouldn’t see them fall. If you hide yourself deep enough maybe it won’t be real. You know I don’t like taking any philosophical crap from you.” Tayuya looked at him like he’d grown a second, more retarded head. "How do you get away with this shit" "I’m just better looking. Around me, every guy is the wingman. Just a fact of life, dude. That’s all.” Inconspicuousness can be very conspicuous. on this side everything is your power and on that side everything is merely borrowed “The calorie is simply a measure of flavor,” You’re a ninja now though – an adult in the eyes of the village – and sometimes you’ll have to be the one to act like an adult even if the one giving you trouble is older than you are. Not all men grow wise. Sometimes they just grow bitter. "I am perverse. To be perverse means to belay all common sense. This would probably explain why my life plays out the ways it does." - Irritus185 "I always think more than I have to, and never enough when I need too." - Irritus185 "Wait! I will save us by cutting the unbreakable diamond filament!" - Dr. Zoidberg "Producers, directors, actors, actresses. In case we are snowed in here, this is the order in which we will eat you when supplies run out." - Steve Martin "The more I step into the sun, the more I step out of the light." - Straw Dog, Something Corporate "O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinte space, were it not I have bad dreams." - Hamlet "Babies of Springfield! Listen to me! Scrape your knees! Stick dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!" - Homer Simpson "When you've done something right, no one will know you've done anything at all." - God (Futurama) “Well, you ever notice how literally everything is run by computers here, even security.” “Yes, it is in the manual on Page 28.” “There’s a manual? “no use crying over spilled milk … unless it was the last and you wanted cereal.” “I was wrong, so sue me,” sneered Hermione. “And how can you not find this deeply disturbing and against nature.” “No, what we made in class today was against nature. “I’m getting professional cloners here.” “Ah, so you mean in the end, you’ll be professionally screwed when the shit hits the fan.” “Me?” “I sure as hell am not claiming knowledge or responsibility for this,” “I know nothing, I saw nothing, and when we get back, I will fake the logs to prove I had nothing to do with this,” “Sasuke, the reason probably falls under ‘stuff man was not meant to know’,” offered Naruto. “Half what she does falls under that category,” “You know,” muttered Sasuke, “if I hadn’t seen you personally do stuff more stupid than this, I would be pretty shocked right now, maybe even worried.” “And since I know that bullshit excuse, what is the prank and why wasn’t I invited?” “Because you and the phrase ‘small scale’ don’t get along, "When life gives you lemons, make cranberry juice and let the world figure out how the fuck you did it" "Let this remind you why you once feared the dark." "People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."- V "You are weak, because you lack hatred"-Itachi Uchiha "War brings pain and injury and death to both sides." "Judge by cause, not by effect." "The fiery embers of Black Fire that erupted out of the ground and the billions of black fiery embers that covered the moonlite sky in a blazing black blanket of eternal shadow turned the moon a crimson red..." "Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head..." "It is not possible to create a Vizard/Arrancar fusion, So stop trying Mayuri. Seriously Ichigo is threatening to offer to work for Aizen over what you did with him and Neliel. No we're not talking about forcing them to do the fusion dance." - Captain Commander Yamamoto from Bleach Whoever it is who's been distrubiting the book of nude drawings of the Shinigami Women Association, please stop. If they find you, they will kill you... and it will not be pleasant. So will Kyoraku-taichou; apparently, he's the only male alive who's supposed to know about Nanao's tattoo. Yachiru-fukutaicho is also pissed; why wasn't she included in the picture-book? ... the stupid fuck who agreed with her, Kenpachi wants your name & rank. You are now being transfered to 11th Division. ... And Unohana-taichou has informed us that she doesn't have an open bed for you, ever; she suggests you head to 12th Division for treatment. Yamamoto-sotaichou would like the person who created the book to come forward; he want's to know how you managed to get that picture of Yoruichi... and Kuukaku... in the bath..." Perseverance: If something's hard it's not worth doing." - Homer Simpson "If God give you lemons you... FIND A NEW GOD!!" - Powerthirst “He’s an idiot,” Asuka muttered to herself. “A stupid, bumbling idiot with almost completely unlimited potential, but still an idiot.” "If you can see my face while I'm driving, let me know so I can run you over." “Those whom we say farewell, are welcomed by others.” - Unknown “Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” - Mark Twain "Nachos!!" Fred Fred Burger from Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy Big Boogie Adventure "I do believe in the power of stuff!" -Sokka from Avatar The Last Airbender "It's alive! It's alive! And it get's 3 miles to the gallon!! - Fairly Oddparents Never hit a man with glasses, hit them with bat!" Paul James Issac Ryo Ferdinand Miller Customs Lady: "So, Mr. Lee, and Mr...umm Mushy is it? Iroh: "It's pronounced Moo-shee." "He then insulted the man's age, weight, parentage, grandma, dog, spleen, potato, and some slur involving a goat he didn't quite catch." -Anonymous "War doesn't prove who is right, only who is left." -Anonymous "I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere." (George Burns) "What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light." (Mark Twain) "There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad." (Salvador Dali) "I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!" (Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Carribian II) "Ducard: A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification. He can be destroyed, or locked up; but if you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, you become something else entirely." Wayne: "Which is?" Ducard: "A legend, Mr. Wayne."- Henri Ducard and Bruce Wayne, Batman Begins "The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything." Fortune Cookie "Can't fall off the floor." -Anonymous. "You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead. . . Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight? "Love is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards." -Unknown “looks once look twice then do what ever it is you plan on doing” Don’t forgive it and never forget it Ah, but if you want to be treated like a man then, you’ll face the consequences of your own stupidity like one.” "667. Evil and then some." "Always forgive your enemies, because nothing annoys them more." "And to think, you're the end result of millions of years of evolution." "A nuclear war can ruin your whole day." "Are you a side effect of my medication?" "Behold! The All-American weapon of mass destruction: choking on a pretzel." "Boys are like pennies, two-faced and worthless." "Chaos...Panic...Disorder...My work here is done." "Come talk to me when you have some money." Don't drink and drive; you might spill your beer!" "Don't interupt me when I'm talking to myself." "Don't tell me to watch my blood pressure. I have no blood!" "Eat right, exercise, die anyway." "Fight Organized Crime: Abolish the IRS." "For the record, I blame you." "Gnomeland Secrurity." "Gone to my happy place. Back soon." "Goose a dragon and you're toast." Have a nice day but leave me out of it." He also didn’t like being paired up with a pink-haired psycho and blonde fool who was probably a closet psychopath. actually, Naruto was quite open with his insanity, people just tended to ignore the signs – the large neon orange signs with sparklers and the fog machine. "Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?" "I did NOT escape. They gave me a day pass." "Idiocy is the essence of the male mind." "I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to." "If I die, I'm taking you with me! Oh...you're dying? Forget I said anything." "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk." "If you want breakfast in bed, go sleep in the kitchen." "If you wish not to be destroyed, you will leave me alone." "I hate it when I get food in my sand." "I have a dream, and in it something eats you." "I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed." "I like stress. It makes me hurt people." "I'm an angel! I swear! The horns are just there to hold the halo in place!" "I'm only afraid of knives when you're holding them." "I'm too tired to tell the truth." "I'm up, I'm dressed, what more do you want?" "Instant Human: just add coffee." "I put ketchup on my ketchup." "Is there a hyphen in obsessive-compulsive?" "It's bad luck to be superstitious." "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for." "I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead." "I've said it once, but it's worth repeating. Anime: Crack is cheaper." "Jesus is my best friend, but he never lends me money." "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard; be evil." "Lincoln's Gettysburg address had 272 words. The Ten Commandments had 296 words. The U.S. Department of Agriculture setting the price of cabbage has 15,297 words." "Manga: The Anti-Drug. Because when you're addicted to manga, how could you possibly afford drugs?!" "Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up." "My homework ate my dog!" "My life is too much for me to keep up with. I want my sippy cup back." "My mind works like lightning...One brilliant flash and it's gone." "No need to suffer in silence when you can still moan, whimper, and complain." "NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be shot; survivors will be shot again." "Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool." "Of course I don't look busy; I did it right the first time." "Of course I'm out of my mind!...It's dark and scary in there..." "Of course violence isn't the answer. 'Violence' is the question and 'yes' is the answer!" "Only in America do drive-in ATM's have Braille lettering." "Only in America do pizzas arrive at doorsteps faster than ambulances." "Only in America do they sell hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight." (That's weird...The hotdogs I buy come in packs of seven...) "Only in America is the slowest traffic time of the day reffered to as 'rush hour'" "Ow, my brain hurts." "Please do not throw anything or anybody into the fish pond." "Self Destruct in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Have a nice day. (explodes)" "Sorry, mind closed until further notice." "Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed." "Sugar is good for you." "Take one step closer and I'll run away." "Tell me your sob story...I need a good laugh." "That which doesn't kill you...Will probably try again." "The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent." "There is a fine line between insanity and stupidity. Feel free to cross it!" "There's too much blood in my caffeine system!" "They say I have A.D.H.D., but I just don't understa- oh look! A kitty!" "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target." "Tucking fypos!" "When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing." "When life gives you lemons, throw them back in God's face and yell, 'Make your own damn lemonade!'" "You can't spell slaughter without laughter." "You cry, I'll cry. You laugh, I'll laugh. You fall out of a window, I'll laugh." "Your chances of getting struck by lightning increase if you stand under a tree, shake your fist up at the sky, and yell, 'Storms suck!'" "Your participle is dangling." "The physiology exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper." If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression. XD Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish? (you know i thought about it and...KISAME) "I had seen my becoming a vampire in two lights: The first light was simply enchantment... But the other light was my wish for self-destruction." To error is human, to seek revenge is divine. "A woman's heart is ocean deep with secrets." "Heaven didn't want me and Hell thinks I'll take over." Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer ‘redecorated for free’.” “Love doesn't always heal wounds. Strength doesn't always assure victory. Denial doesn't always prevent the inevitable. But revenge is always sweet to the bitter.” "A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman." "If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?" "No one is a virgin, the world screws us all." "It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me." "Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it." "Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them." "There are only stupid people around me, but they mean well."-Hiei "You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me." "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same" "Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough" "Just be yourself everyone else is taken." Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk besides me either. Just leave me the hell alone! Whenever you feel pissed off at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them...AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fight crime: SHOOT BACK! It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to sky dive TWICE. They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free too, and I find it more personal and sincere. XD If life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then, when life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll teach 'em. Fuck 'em. And everyone else who can't see life for what it really is--a joke. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends. I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions? Insane people never know that they're insane. It's the sane ones you have to worry about. Because they know they're insane. And they know how to use it. When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate. When in doubt, nuke it 'til it stops moving. Most people:"Why don't you just give up?!" Me:"I never really learned how to!" One of us will fall. The rest will point and laugh. "If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... and then find someone who's life has given them Vodka, and have a party."- Ron White Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. Specify that your drive-through order is to go. It confuses people. Hey, what can I say. My thoughts are like STDs. I don’t mean to get them, they just come to me." My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Cancel my subsciption, 'cuz i'm sick of your issues! When they put "unknown" at the end of a quote, it's probably because they don't know how to spell "anonymous" Don't get high on Life; cereal hurts when you put it up your nose. I'm not a vegetarian because i love animals; i'm a vegetarian becaus i hate plants. Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him! If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales! There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. (George Bush) (Yeah...He's a bit confused, just that pesky Multiple Personality Disorder acting up again) "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." (George Bush) Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. "Most actors are basically neurotic people. Terribly, terribly unhappy. That's one of the reasons they become actors. Nobody well adjusted would ever want to expose himself or herself to a large group of strangers. Think of it. Insanity! Generally, by their very nature - that is if they're at all dedicated - actors do not make good parents. They are altogether egotistical and selfish. The better the actor - and I hate to say it, the bigger the star - why, the more that seems to be true. Honestly, I don't think I've ever known one - not one! - star who was successfully able to combine a career and family life." - Margaret Sullavan "In fear I hurried this way and that, the taste of blood and chocolate in my mouth--the one as hateful as the other" Hermann Hesse, Steppenwulf "if you lose, don't lose the lesson" "I think, therefore i am, or at least i think i'm thinking, so i might possibly be" "Your hiccups shall not cease, you will not be able to breath properly, and then you will die" "there is no great genius without a tincture of madness" "have you been speed-reading my self help books again?" ‘Now, if I were a pair of eyebrows with a ninja attached, where would I-?’ 'We are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed.' - unknown 'Woe to the man who does nothing, because he can only do little.' - unknown 'If a woman is to do something more than human, she must have more than human powers.' (this was a Chinese proverb, did they know about X-men?) 'Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.' - unknown 'Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.' - Sigmund Freud 'Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.' - Sigmund Freud 'Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.' - Sigmund Freud “Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!” - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn (possibly one of the greatest PC RPG games ever) "let them hate, so long as they fear" "innocence, once lost can never be regained" "why do we kill people, who kill people, to show people that killing is wrong?" "Heroes went for the monster's heart, but monsters go for the neck" "cheer, cheer, yell, yell, it doesn't matter, we're all going to hell"-Jane Lane, Daria "Its uncanny how many problems can be solved with duck tape" "Life is like a bowl of cherries: everyone's a fruit." "The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." "Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all run around in a dark room munching pills and listening to repetitive music." "Somewhere people are plotting against you and I am probably among them." "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." "Well think about it. If I actually followed the plan, I'd have little chance to half ass things later on. Improvisation is key." "You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance." "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." "On a side note, I think this is the first time anyone has ever used the word misinformation when talking about something we posted here. I find it very exciting to think that I am spreading misinformation. I may move up to half-truths next and then eventually onto wild speculation." "And that is why I haven't been hit by any cast-iron skillets in my 17-years of life. Not because I don't deserve it, but because I don't fuck around with people that hit people with cast-iron skillets." "You know, it would be REALLY funny if someone found irrefutable proof that Jesus was a gay black man." "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." What I learned from Anita Blake...Never forget who your enemies are, you'll be sleeping with them in the next book. “Oh right... We were being chased.” Alek turned his head, “You mean to tell me in the span of thirty seconds you forgot the giant monster of doom?” “You sure your up for this Har, uh James?” Bill says slipping up. “Yeah, easy plan. Blow them up. Works for me.” “Golden Rule, if a ward is active and you don’t know what it is or how long it has been active; be scared. If it isn’t doing anything run like hell, because you don’t want to wait around and find out!” One of Bill’s sixth or seventh year defense texts had quite a bit on inferi, real ‘Night of the Living Dead’ shit. Fire is supposed to work well against them. There’s the ever-popular decapitation or blowing a large hole in its head. Though in all honesty, the last two methods work surprising well against most opponents. Live your life to the fullest for if not, your wasting it, so says the dreamchaser Who ever said the pen is mightier then the sword, has never seen an automatic weapon (Call of Duty 4) Living your life is more important than making a living. STRESS - The confusion created when the mind over rides the bodies desire to the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it (Myspace sticker) I don't need to "get a life." i'm a gamer, I have lots of lives (Myspace sticker “Buck up, me hearty.” You say in your best pirate voice. “We can always go back and dig for buried treasure. You didn’t lose. You just have to postpone your victory dance for a while.” Every fight comes down to surprise, luck and skill. You cannot guarantee two of them, so you must learn skill and hope it’s enough when the other two are not on your side.” “Time to answer life’s question. ‘You have five minutes to live. How do you spend it?’ Good luck. Fight well. Don’t be stupid.” Pain is your friend. It reminds you that you’re still alive. “Let me think this through for a sec.” You watch him scratch his chin, “It might work, could kill us too, but if we’re going to risk offing ourselves like that, how about we blow them up on the Daemon instead?” "Say hello to my little friend!"- Tori on Mythbusters "Give me liberty or give me the potatoes!"-The Far Side "When the world's been wiped out, you can only get so happy."- Battle Star Galactica The Last Frakkin' Special "Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind."-John F. Kennedy" "I choose life."- Sid the Sloth on Ice Age "well fk that, i'm gettin' a cab."-Grand Theft Awesome IV "we must all hang together, or most assuradly we will all hang seperately."- Benjamin Franklin “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”-Unknown Author I have to fix my door and punish my pet for breaking it. Both of which will take the better part of the evening and require heavy machinery." Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence If I had no sense of humor then I would have commited suicide long ago - Mahatma Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives That news traveled faster than heroin through an addicts veins. "We found a witch! May we burn her?" peasent-Warcraft III "My favorite color is blue. No, yellllowwww..." Knight-Warcraft III "Hi. I'm Roy, and I'm a magic adict" "Hi Roy" Blood Mage-Warcraft III "Hey, Bastards. Knock Knock" Johnson-Halo 2 "What if you miss?" "I won't" Cortana/Cheif-Halo 2 there are 3 kinds of people in this world. those who can do math and those who can't. dont worry about the people in your past, theres a reason they didnt make it to your future. the rules only apply if you get caught. some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but the still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. "Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film." "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." the four different personality types: All right then. If I can beat the crap out of flaming chickens, I can beat the crap out of flying books,” "Ranma," the genie venture gently, noting that restoring 85 percent of someone's sanity still left them 15 percent insane and Ranma had learned to do quite a lot with very little. "Perhaps declaring a vendetta against your tail isn't the most productive or indeed sanest use of your time." maybe sanity is more like being pregnant, you simply are or you aren't. “Haven’t you read the Constitution?” There was silence. “NONE of you have?” Orochimaru asked incredulously. “I didn’t even know we had a Constitution…” Jiraiya admitted. "How can somebody that's seems so smart sometimes be so thick?" Mad he occasionally was, crazy he often acted and he'd be the first to admit that sane he was not, but there was crazy and there was Crazy. He'd rather minimalize the latter, thank you very much. He had enough of it with Sasuke around. Not that she believed it was even possible but, well... Naruto and the concept of 'impossible' had a rather interesting relationship, with both sides politely ignoring the other. "hey carter, whatever happens...its been fun." "no...no it hasn't" "And what am I supposed to do after I get my gun?!" Ranma shrugged. "I don't know. Find somebody to point it at, I guess." "i swear to god if this turns into a zombie attack, i'm quiting."- sherrif carter Eureka Ranma looked only more annoyed by the explanation. "Nah. You didn't say the magic word." "Evocatio frigus?" Richard guessed. Thud! Thud! Thud! Several students yelped in surprise as Ranma suddenly kicked his desk up in the air, barely blocking the three foot-long blades of gleaming, hardened ice that had been sailing toward his face. Ranma slammed his desk back down into place, and then glared at the undead magus. "That wasn't what I meant," he growled."Well, can I have a hint?" Richard asked, looking annoyed. "Because my next guess is 'abracadabra,' and you do NOT want to see what that does." is anyone suffering any adverse effects" "nope flesh seems to be right where its supposed to be" "You're all under arrest for assault, destruction of private property, first degree murder, and whatever else I can find afterwards. You have the right to remain silent. Please, give me an excuse to shoot you." "Well, I think we've all had a tough day so far, so why don't we all go home early!" Snake stared at him. "Can you do that?" "For all you know," either thats very profound, or you are severely brain damaged. "Isn't that illegal? In both coutries? Like, on several different levels?" "Why don't I ever know what's going on?" "I suspect your mother dropped you on your head at a tender age," "What is this human preoccupation with 'why'? Things happen, and if you're lucky, you're still alive afterward." Then the clone cheerfully leveled the AK-47 at the terrorist's face. "You're not lucky. So who cares why?" "That man took my tank, and took my face. And so I will take his life." "Can I shoot him anyway? I know he's not guilty, but we can make it look like a misfire later." No can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new endingMaria Robinson "Aw man... bad enough he keeps killing people, but does he have to leave a blood trail everywhere?" "Never mind," Asuka said. "We'll actually be very lucky if we end up getting hurt by accident." "Give the order to move out. You know what to do." The Captain saluted sharply, and then recited, "Burn them once, then burn them twice, crush the ashes-" "-As the dead turn to ice," Igov finished, grinning fiercely. "Blood and victory, comrade." "Oh, sure. Blame the cheap nymphomaniac," "okay who forgot to charge the freeze ray" "...well i had to charge my phone" "if one of you is dead when i get back im killing the other one.- me "If you suggest that we escape by putting fish in our mouthes so we can breathe underwater-AGAIN- I will ninja-punch you SO HARDCORE it will knock you out, and when you wake up? The force of it will knock you out a second time, BEFORE YOU WAKE UP." - Theif, 8-bit Theater "What would Batman do?" - Dr.McNinja, Dr. McNinja webcomic "Pirate, you have got some. Straight. Up. Testicular Elephentitus, comin' in here, and sittin' next to a ninja" Dr. McNinja, Dr. McNinja webcomic "Good, Bad, I'm the one with the gun." - Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness "A hand grenades blast radius is always 1 foot farther than you can throw." - Anonymous "Reality is a momentary dream, but a dream is reality for an eternity." - unknown "Peace is a time of cheating between two times of fighting." - The Devil's Dictionary "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde "He who fights monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke “Where there is much light, the shadow is deep” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “Losers try their best; winners go home and fuck the high school prom queen!” "Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him." -Fyodor Dostoevsky "The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future" -Oscar Wilde “The sun also shines on the wicked.” -Seneca “Hear no evil, speak no evil - and you'll never be invited to a party.” -Oscar Wilde “There is only one true good, knowledge, and one true evil, ignorance.” -Socrates Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” -William Shakespeare There is no situation that you could not escape from. There is no situation that you could not turn to your advantage. “ “Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.” -Aristotle “Evil is just a point of view” -Anne Rice “Welcome to my world Gwen-chan...” “Can't I just get a nice card and leave?” A wise man does not piss into the wind.-unknown If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. Eventually you will reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think about algebra. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks it was called witchcraft. Today, we call it golf. Those in power write the history, those who suffer write the songs--Old Irish Proverb. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you vodka, have a party. -bastardized version of ron whites joke if life gives you lemons,make vodka sit back get drunk and laugh at everyone trying to figure out how the hell you did it "Fate is a cheap excuse, destiny a weak mind's escape, fear a weak will's plea, sorrow a soft mind's hiding place."-dragon321 "is no one going to ask how he crucified himself? Action is eloquence- William Shakespeare "that is the wierdest thing i have ever seen" "Not even in my top ten" And thus I clothe my naked villainy With old odd ends, stol'n forth of holy writ; And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.-William Shakespeare -even your friends can be your worst enemy -death is the next chapter in every life One by one the penguins steal my sanity. I got kicked out of Barnes & Nobels for moving the religious books into the fiction section. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "Nobody move! I dropped my brain." -- Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean, At World's End "Sanity!? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place." -- Zaraki Kenpachi, Bleach, Japanese verion w/subtitles, episode 51 'I realized that I'm god when I was praying one day and realized I was talking to myself.' - Emo Phillips Bishop God is a bitch. Afterall, GOD is DOG spelled backwards. Coincidence, I think not! I’ve lost myself. I’ve gone to find myself. If I return before I get back, please tell me to wait there! P.S. I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on a floppy. Ultimate Fail, is but a thing of the past for your level of fail, for you have failed so hard, the meaning of the word fail, does not fail enough to describe your fail. "Alright men…we are on a mission to get coffee and doughnuts. The problem is…the Germens drank all the coffee and ate all the doughnuts. So now…we got to go kick their asses!" Cpl. Dixon. Call of Duty 3 -I am the Devil, the Devil I am And I wait for the coming of an innocent man. Be he young or be he old, Be his pockets full of gold, Be he happy or rich or wise, Be the ocean as blue as his eyes, I’ll wait for his coming at the midnight hour, I’ll pickle his soul and make it sour, For once that innocent heart I see, That innocent man belongs to me. -The Darkness(i read this in the story "of demons and darkness" by BuddhaConfucius) i refuse to answer any of your questions until i have a lawyer and a dictionary present THIS IS THE DRESS REHERSAL FOR HELL BOYS, DON'T FUCK UP!! “cars aren’t supposed to fly like that, especially not off cliffs” “hey I landed it” “and promptly drove through a fence”- a conversation between me and my step brother Where zen ends ass kicking begins Hes a couple all by himself” “care to make it a threesome” Should I go towards the bright light or away They’re twins right?” “yes” “then why do they have different birthdays” “oh that’s nothing, they used to be Siamese twins, EXPLAIN THAT!! You get used to it around here” Art is turning something ugly and/or useless into something beautiful or useful, turning the mundane into the extraordinary. She got her license back?” “I didn’t say that” Time always moves forwards, but people don’t always see that, they get caught in a moment and continue to either look backwards or forwards into the future, but they rarely see where they are If you hug me I’ll leave Even if the rocket doesn’t explode there aren’t a lot of good ways for this to end. ‘T-this can’t be happening, this CAN’T be happening!’ Naruto thinks to himself, seeing as the laws of physiques, nature, and reality all seem to have been broken in the span of a few minutes… ‘Why couldn’t it be Murphy’s Law that was broken?! “For every man who had enough and stood up to change the world, has erased what could have been and wrote what has been” Go maniacal one time and everyone's afraid of you.” “Well, it just means that we have to think more outside the box.” “We get anymore outside of the box and we’ll be back in the box.” “Okay, so we’re going to need city permits and contractors”“I can get those things. No problem,” “You can get city permits?” “Well…I can get something that looks very much like city permits,” “Okay, the conversation has just been killed. It’s been shot and we’re leaving it bleeding in the streets. She was convinced that the man was on drugs. She was not sure which ones, but he had to be on them hard. “… You’re evil Kakashi-sensei.” The Uchiha responded simply. “Well, I could’ve made him wear a green suit and orange legwarmers.” “But, fortunately only diet evil.” Sasuke responded quickly. “Low calorie, not evil enough.” . The pale woman cocked an eyebrow and tried to decide if she should just keep going or if she should actually ask. She was almost certain that she would be much happier in life if she kept walking, but she might want to know what was going on just in case she should be prepared for something. “I have money sometimes,” Kim said. “Fifty cents doesn’t count as money,” Shego taunted “Okay, you know what, go to Hell and wave ‘hi’ to your mom when you get there,””I told you my moms not the devil” “bullshit, I’ve seen the pitchfork and no one else smells of brimstone all the time” Don’t let it get you so bent out of shape. At least her first word wasn’t ‘fuck’ or something like that.” “That was your first word, wasn’t it?” “According to my mother it was and best of all, she claims I said to my grandmother.” If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? - T.S. Elliot "There's an expression, a friend would stab you in the back, but a true friend would stab you in the front... I didn't believe in it until now..." “Look for me in the whirlwind or the storm.” - Marcus Garvey “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” - Mahatma Gandhi. “The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make their minds to be good or evil.” - Hannah Arendt “Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.” - Thomas Moore “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” - Margaret Thatcher “I would be willing, yes glad, to see a battle every day during my life.” - George Armstrong Custer “He who does not punish evil commands it to be done.” - Leonardo da Vinci “If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.” - Napoleon Bonaparte “It is a specifically human trait to find joy in chaos.” - Friedrich Nietzsche “May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't.” - General George S. Patton Jr. “A beast does not know that he is a beast, and the nearer a man gets to being a beast, the less he knows it.” - George MacDonald “Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence.” - Jim Morrison “A sword is never a killer, it is a tool in the killer's hands.” – Seneca “The thrill, believe me, is as much in the battle as in the victory.” - David Sarnoff “Treating your adversary with respect is striking soft in battle.” - Samuel Johnson “You must not fear death, my lads; defy him, and you drive him into the enemy's ranks.” - Napoleon Bonaparte “You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the Grim Reaper.” - Robert Alton Harris “As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.” - William Shakespeare “Civilize the mind but make savage the body.” - Chairman Mao “I have not yet begun to fight.” - Captain John Paul Jones “Win with ability, not with numbers.” - Aleksandr Suvorov “The monster was the best friend I ever had.” - Boris Karloff. “I felt good...The war has just begun. This is the just first shot. I'll take it day by day and see what happens.” - Tom Danielson “Heaven just isn't hot enough.”- Disturbed, Prayer “Light and Dark are two sides of the same coin. One cannot live without the other.” - Midna “He bothers me. Shall I kill him?” - Hoshigaki Kisame “If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, then what is the road to Heaven paved in?” “A modest man never talks to himself…” “Grass grows, birds fly, and brother, I hurt people.” Scout, Team Fortress 2 “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people do that. The really great make you feel you can become great.” Mark Twain “The whole world is a narrow bridge. The important thing is not to be afraid…” Fortune Cookie “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” Henry David Thoreau "But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." C.S. Lewis "Human Life is God's experiment where the only constant variable is change; he sits back and observes while we suffer like lab rats on narcotics." Unknown "I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence." Doug McLeod "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." Erma Bombier "You don't seem to understand. I'm not trapped here with you; you're trapped here with me!" Rorschach, Watchmen "I'm warning you! I'm a black belt in Origami!" TJ, Recess: School's Out "The oppressor will always fear the oppressed. Why? Because they know that one day, one will rise up." - Unknown "All things are born from darkness." - Unknown "The road I walk is paved in gold, to glorify my platinum soul. I am the closest thing to God, so worship me and never stop." - Innerpartysystem "The wretched blood, runs through my veins. I gave up everything for fame. I am the life that you adore! Now feed the rich, fuck the poor!" - Innerpartysystem "Your world, and your existence are both equal in worth. Absolutely worthless, like the depraved society we've been forced into since birth. I welcome your pathetic little apocalypse." "Governments have no reason to fear their people. Why? Because the government knows that they have complete control." "I reject your world of death, destruction, and decay. If I was forced to choose between a fantasy world within my mind, or reality, I would choose a fantasy world." "I wait for the oblivion of the end." "If we catch Kira, he is evil. If he rules the world, he is justice." -Light Yagami “sanity is defined by the majority and if you guys would just count my multiple personalities youd see im perfectly sane” "Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing." - Henry Russel Sanders "I order all of you...to die!" - Lelouch Lamperouge "Every day... the same thing repeats over and over." "Man, how pointless." "This world is...""Rotten." - Light Yagami and Ryuk the Shinigami "Kira shall provide a new world for us" - Light Yagami "I knew that killing people was a crime, but there was no other way! The World HAD to be FIXED! The purpose given to me! Only I could do it. Who else could have done it!? And come this far!? Would they have kept going!? The only one...who can create a new world...is me." - Light Yagami "Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away." - Sephiroth "Tell me...is this the pain you felt last time, Cloud? Well then...let me make sure that you never forget it."- Sephiroth "So what if I'm just a puppet? Once upon a time, so were you!"- Kadaj Ladies don't start fights. They laugh at them. Good girls, are bad girls never gotten caught. It's not because I'm stubborn. I'm just always right! I'm right! You're wrong! Any questions? "On your knees. I want you to beg for forgiveness." - Sephiroth "Try not to die to quickly, otherwise this won't be any fun at all." - Unknown "Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever." - Greg House "Just warning you; I'm in a good mood and largely pain free so I have no idea how things are going to go." - Greg House "Her lips say no, but her hormones say 'Oh my God, yes, more.'" - Greg House "You know what would calm the nausea? Vicodin. Marijuana. A coma." - Greg House "If a king dosen't move, his subjects won't follow" - Lelouch Vi Britannia "Those who are allowed to shoot are those who are prepared to be shot." - Lelouch Vi Britannia "Inequality is not an evil. Equality itself is evil' - Charles zi Britannia "I was not the one who was wrong! The world was!" - Lelouch Vi Britannia "A monster? No...I am a DEVIL!" - Broly (written by Sharpe1815) War was never won by dieing for your country, it was won by making the other bastard dieing for his. I HATE the English language. It's my native language, and it sucks. It doesn't have ONE constant rule as they're is always an exception. And it's unoriginal, it's the language that drags other languages into the dark alley and rummages through their pockets for loose grammar. That alone makes it an annoyance. The next thingis how it is so unforgiving, but noone CARES. Noone uses correct grammar, if you diduse correct grammar, you'd get a LOT of funny looks for talking wierd. Another reason is because it SUCKS to express any specific in. There are seven words for love in Greek or Latin (don't remeberwhich), the is ONE in English. Specific concepts just aren't present in English. Another thing is its brutish vocabulary. Mostly straightforward words with little variation in their definitions, no subtley. In Japanese the knaji for light can also mean moon, it's all in the context. And how Japanese flows its words together... Ah music. Which brings up my last point. English is choppy, and ugly sounding. Spanish and Japanese can just flow on in a magnificiant beauty. Not English. That the end of my 'English blows' rant.- arrancar kage Life is simple kill or be killed One man two blades sixty enemy's. Let's play "Who's The Better Killer". "352 bones in the human body...I wonder how many I'll have to break before you scream." - Unknown "You are dead. You have been dead since the day you were born. Who gave you those clothes that you wear on your back right now? Your home, your food, even your life. I am the one who gave all of that to you! In other words, you have not even once truly been alive!" - Charles Vi Britannia "Dood!" - Every Prinny in EVERY Disgaea game ever "Leave me alone. Keep bothering me and I will personally rip out one of your ribs and shove it down your throat. "You were never alone. The Darkness always surrounded you. When you lost purpose, I gave you one. You are nothing but a puppet and so...I will pull your strings, until eternity's end. You will never escape me, because I am the one leading your escape. I am the one pushing you down the path you walk. And I am the one that will cut your strings, and laugh as you fall to the ground, a bitter, useless, worthless, broken puppet. “Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. And you want to know the thing about chaos? It's fair.” - The Joker, Dark Knight "hey what if this goes off while we're over here?' "then you better de ass the area with the quickness" "...Don't you think you should stop them now, Harry?" Zacharias asked. "I could," Harry agreed, "But why help people when you can stare at them?" "Possibly, but probably not. FAs use mutants, and they usually have more flair than this. I'm thinking it's an alien, personally." He shrugged as he moved to step into the car. "No big deal. Its race will probably be down here in a few months or so, either to figure out what happened to all its scouts, or to feed on the entire human race. And then we'll strike back and exterminate the invasion force in a colossal battle that leaves all of Tokyo in ruin. You know, same old, same old." Mizu blinked. "That's happened before?" Kyle blinked back, then frowned. "Yeah, I think so... that, or I'm confusing reality with Gall Force again. Either way though, I'm going to start carrying a can of Raid around with me from now on." "You ever hear about a little word called 'overkill', hon?" Snake rolled his eyes. "Of course I have. That's an old joke." He turned to his companions. "Hey, did you guys know there are actual laws banning the use of thermonuclear devices in city-based police operations?"The entire group stopped to stare at him. Junko fell off from where she was hanging on his body, and almost hit the ground. "It's true!" Snake insisted, "I'm not even kidding!" "Well, thank God they thought ahead," Asuka muttered, grabbing Ranma's arm and dragging him along behind her into the depths of track system 71. The others soon followed. "I'm totally serious! There are no loopholes or anything! They even put in restrictions in case the actual city was destroyed first!" I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole! Sighing from the obvious doubt, Tetsuya explained,“It’s like this. I’ve traveled around a lot. I’ve probably been all over this continent at least two or three times over. Every single time I’ve been in a conversation with a crowd, the effeminate one is always a guy. Every single time. I’ve seen so many effeminate males in my time, I came to wonder about two things. One is how mankind will continue to reproduce if everybody is turning gay. Second is at the rate I’m seeing so many effeminate males, it will only be a matter of time before I see a masculine female. Hell, the only way I can tell if an effeminate person is a girl is if she got boobs. But even then, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day we’ll invent some crazy thing that puts boobs on men, too. These are truly dark times we live in…” -Mighty Ninjarai fanfic "In fearful day, in raging night, Cut me open watch me bleed, "Roses are red, "Light a candle for the sinners, set the world on fire... And what once was alive will soon be deceased. O pitiful shadow lost in darkness... If you see the Budda, I hate the ocean, which seems so happy but ignores me! poem: "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.” random shit: 100 Rules of Anime The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural #1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply. #2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is #3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud #4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust #5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a #6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero #7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of #8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... #9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are #10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a #11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. #12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. #13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly #14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any #15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of #16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form #17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The #18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, #19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at #20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and #21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t... #22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little #23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost #24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, #25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly #26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: #27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of #28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate #29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of #30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are #31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is #32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and #33- Law of Dubbing- All anime will be dubbed, but they will almost never be as good #34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable #35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, #36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good #37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an #38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is #39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely #40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get #41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal #42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it #43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43. #44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a #45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the #46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy #47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some #48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or #49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will #50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are #51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters #53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum. #54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, #55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and #56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons #57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of #58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, #59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition #60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s #61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an #62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years #63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the #64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be #65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the #66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- #67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the #68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the #69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any #70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a #71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male #72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head #73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to #74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When #75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can #76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a #77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick #78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST #79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial #80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is #81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if #82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a #83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become #84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed #85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire #86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in #87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon. #88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have #89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large #90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following #91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and #92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance #93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at #94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability #95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any #96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, #97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that #98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or #99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest #100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen. Things you shouldn't say to cops. 1. "Sorry about knocking up your wife." 2. "Oh, hey officer. Why'd ya wake me up? What? I've been asleep this whole time, I don't remember running over any crossing guards." 3. "How about I buy you a dozen donuts and you let me off the hook?" 4. "Is that a pistol in your holster or are you coming on to me?" 5. "Hey Ociffer! Whaddaya been upwards to, huh?" 6. "Oh, sure! You arrest me for drunk driving. But, when some other cop does it, you go get donuts!" 7. "You're a member of the force, right? So... where's the lightsaber?" 8. "I know that you'd much rather be drinking coffee right now, so, what's stopping you?" 9. "I'm just a student driver... Honest." 10. "So... About the whole 'You'll never take me alive' thing... That was just a joke..." 11. "Yeah, I'd like a large fries, A whopper, One milkshake... wait, no, make that two milkshakes, and a stack of flapjacks." 12. "So, I was going 120 in a school zone? Then you must have been going 125 to catch me. Good job officer... Good job." 13. "Bad boys, bad boys... whatcha gonna do when they come for you?" 14. "What do you mean 'stealing from the evidence locker is illegal'? You do it all the time!" 15. "Hell yeah! a 500 ticket! I finally broke my record!" 15 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity (from Spice3132) 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on & point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. It's hardwired into male genetics that a bathroom must meet at least five of the following criteria for us to use it: 1) The lighting is so poor a power outage would be an improvement. Rules of being a guy by ShadowDragon Posted: 2008-05-31 09:37:37 1. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem -- you didn't see nothin'. Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either. If people think your on drugs because of the way you act, copy this into your profile. If you have ever fallen asleep in class and began to snore, copy this into your profile If you know someone (or bunch of people) who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile. If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile If you ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason, put this in your profile If you are obsessive with your favorite collection/item/hobby (if someone else touches or taunts, it they die kinda obsessive) copy this into your profile. If you run to all your classes, copy this into your profile. If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile. If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. If you have ever started laughing uncontrollably, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you have a fanfiction account, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile. If you ran down an "Up" escalator, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (hand is raised) If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. :-) If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have ever watched a really stupid show 'cause nothing was on, and you got into it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think digimon is, was, and always will be the coolioist, copy and paste this into your profile. :-) If you absolutely LOVE anime, copy and paste this onto your profile. :-D If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up stairs, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever fallen off a stair rail and hit your head on the stairs, copy this onto your profile.. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!! 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Oh the ironie... If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you think furbies are evil mind controlling igits waiting to take over the world paste this in your profile. If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile. If you know (a) video game characters (b) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile If you are addicted to ninjas and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica,I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, DrownMySoul, ferail Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, DrownMySoul, ferail 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, DrownMySoul, ferail If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile. If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile. If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile. If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile. If you can read this, copy this onto your profile, and see if others can read it. If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile. if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you see all those long poems/lists all over and agree with the message( stop child abuse, stop stereotyping, ect) but don't want to put something That long on you profile, copy THIS to your profile instead. If you love silly/stupid/funny/inspirational or meaningful Quotes, copy this to your profile. If people have given up looking at you funny because there is no longer any point, copy this to your profile. If you want to copy this to your profile, you know what to do. If you hear voices of characters in your head...copy and paste this on you're profile. If your plot bunnies give you the perfect idea- in the middle of a huge math test/ PSAT/shower or other bad time, copy this to your profile. If you ever threatened a computer, copy and paste this in your profile. If you read all of the listed copy-to-profiles on this profile, copy this to your profile. If the Voices of your characters threaten to drive you Mad (or Madder) copy this to your profile. If your Characters talk to you in your head, copy this to your profile. If YOU respond/talk to your Characters, copy this to your- SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I'M NOT WRITING YOUR STORY RIGHT NOW!- profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love random copy and paste quotes, copy and paste this on your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. IF you think that the first sign of madness in NOT! talking to yourself but instead receiving an answer copy this into your profile. If you have read the 100 Rules of Anime, copy and paste this into your profile. If you agree with the 100 Rules of Anime, copy and paste this and the rules into your profile (see rules at end of profile) If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile if you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile. If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile. If you love chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you think Neji used Byakugan on Tenten EVEN JUST ONCE, please copy and paste this on your profile. (i think it's been more than just 1 time!) If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. (Tommy Vercetti.) If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you ever have just SLAPPED someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever forgotten to breathe, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have run up and down an escalator copy and paste this into your profile. This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination! 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile. -- If you think that those god-or-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile If you're tired of Hannah Montana, The Jonas Brothers, and High School Musical, copy and paste this to your page. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile If you believe that preps travel in packs, copy and past this onto your profile. If you talk to yourself because its the only way to have an intelligent conversation copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. All the time :D If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile. If you have reached the point where you have to go back through your profile when copying and pasting to see if youve copy pasted it before copy and paste this into your profile 92 percent of teens have moved onto rap, if your part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into your profile If you've declared war on anime haters copy and paste this onto your profile If you've declared war on rappers copy and paste this onto your profile If you Know that Rock will never die copy and paste this onto your profile If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. Almost every teenager talks on their phone for hours on end. If your one of the few who dosn't, copy this onto your profile and add your name to the list. gothgirl-narutofan, Kuro Uchiha, Sacra Nox, Haruko-Uzumaki, Heza-chan x3, totalnarutofangirl85, juubi no ryu, Shinigamiking-Youko, Ferail If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off. 98 percent of the female population would die if Chris Brown said not to breathe. If you are a guy wondering what is so go damn special about him, or a girl of the two percent who'd say, "Yeah right." Copy and paste this onto your profile then add your name: Shinigamiking-Youko If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile. If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile. If you have ever had an arguent with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile. If you have insanely annoying siblings copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN (you son of a) BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. I don't try to be different, I just am. The more people say things like, 'That's gay', or 'Yo momma' the less of an impact it has. Also it isn't original. If you support the "Naruto and Sasuke are NOT Gay" cause, copy and paste this into your profile. Because they're Not! If you support Naruhina all the way then copy and paste this into your profile!! If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile If you have ever crashed into a wall while sugar high copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile If you, with no warning, laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, copy this on your profile If you have ever thrown something at a TV screen when you saw a character you despised, copy and paste this on your profile If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever dreamed about being an Anime Character, copy and paste this into your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile! If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this onto your profile Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list ArrancarKage, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black,cassanova959, ferail If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. Do you like Puppets? Do you just know deep down that Sasori could never have died? Then join the Puppet Association of Konoha! Just add your name to our member roster and post it in your profile to show your pride! changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraXXxItachiSakura, Serena the Kitsune, Almores, Artful Lounger, OwlEye, ferail If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. If you are over the age of 12 and still watch cartoons, and are proud of it, copy this into your profile If you hate school, but don't want to miss a day of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. If your one of those weird people who hate war but love violence, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If George W. Bush is getting on your nerves for various reasons, copy and paste this into your profile. If your dee bestest Eenglish stewent in dee wole wide wold, coopy dis intwo yo profille. There are three types of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't. If you can't count, copy this into your profile. If you want to dye your hair black, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' COULD, copy this into your profile If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. Everyone tells us to be different which is the same as unique which is the same as being insane. So why are we put in insane asylums when were DOING WHAT THEY TELL US TO DO. WERE BEING OURSELVES. A wise man once said that helping others is the only way to peace. Well guess what? He was a dumb ass mother fucker. Doing that will just get you killed. If your an out cast because your different and like to stick to the shadows rather than the light than copy this to your profile. If your going to end up in a very small cell copy this to your profile and add your name to this list: ArrancarKage, ferail If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile If you would put a bullet in your head before you changed yourself to fit in copy and paste this into your profile In the end, the human race will be gone, if you'll still be here put this in your profile and add your list ArrancarKage If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile If you hate back stabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If your are bored, copy this into your profile and add your name. Captain Night James, Magician of the Gathering,z09 If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories, copy and paste this to your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting all comments similar to these into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you believe that there aren't enough Tayuya pairings, put this in your profile and add your name to the list: Tergar of Konoha, Artful Lounger,Sori-Akuma no Musei, ferail Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. ºø„„øº„øº If you think Mythbusters is one of the best shows on Discovery Channel, copy and paste this to your profile. U say Zac I say drowning pool!! A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. Facts of life: 1)Shit happens, deal with it. 2)Black is always the cool color to wear, even in the desert. 3)The best beer is an open one. 4)Boobs are awesome, they bounce, jiggle, and they look great wet. 5)Stop copying me! If you agree copy and paste this, created by Shinigamiking-Youko
Ordering pizza 1. Ask what the order taker is wearing. 2. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out. 3. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window." 4. Ask if you can rent a pizza. 5. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. 6. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired. 7. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say, "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'." 8. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?" 9. Try not to say the word pizza. If they say it, say "please don’t mention that - ahem - word." 10. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired. On an elevator 1. Turn to a random person and whisper, " Where are they taking us?” 2. Look menacingly at another passenger, and say "NO!" 3. Play Rock, Paper, Scissors with yourself, & be ecstatic when you win and despondent when you lose. 4. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 5. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 6. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 7. Meow occasionally. 8. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 9. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 10. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down Walmart 1. Hide in a cloths rakand when someone passes say "pick me! pick me!" 22. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 4. Challenge random people to duel you with gift wrap tubes. 5. Put random items into other peoples baskets while they are not looking. 6. Walk up to a random person a say "Hey, Bob! Hows it been? I havent see you since we were in 3rd grade together!". 7. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive. 8. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store. 9. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, growl angrily. 10. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again." At school 1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY". 3. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!" 4. Tell teachers the kids who are not there had died. 5. Speak gibberish. 6. While on the computers at school, delete random folders and such that look important. 7. During a big test, make poppingsounds with your mouth(like donky from shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look. 8. In study hall, look at the celing for along time, and when you see other people looking at the celing too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?". 9. When in a school shower, sing "Its a small world after all" really badly. 10. Put fake survalence cameras in every batroom stall. 11. go to sleep on one of the tables. In a movie theatre 1. Talk loudly to a friend. Whenever someone else makes the slightest noise, tell him or her they are inconsiderate little bastards for disrupting your viewing pleasure. 2. Bring a portable T.V. Watch the ball game. Cheer loudly. 3. Sing with the background music. 4. Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!" 5. If it's a Disney film, go up to the projector room and replace the film with an adult film. 6. Get a realistic looking and sounding cap gun. Go to the front of the theatre and exclaim, "The movie is depressing you." Shoot yourself in the head and fall dead. After about a minute get up and go back to you seat. Remain silent the rest of the movie. 7. Wear a trench coat and sunglasses. Whenever someone enters or exits the theatre ask to see their identification. 8. Find the light switch. Turn the lights on. 9. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. 10. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. At an amusement park/arcade room 1. When playing one of those 'ski ball' games, take the balls and ask for a bag to put your 'prizes' in. 2. At the shooting gallary, try to shoot holes in either the wall, the ceiling or the person who gave you the gun, then apologize when you get yelled at and claim that you thought that you'd get extra points for hitting the "moving target", and steer clear of the real targets, no matter what, maybe even shoot directly away from it and into the air. 3. Stand at the counter, stare at the person working there for a moment before saying, "Mommy/Daddy I want THAT ONE!" and point to one of the cool looking prizes. Just walk away when they try to figure out who you're talking to. 4. Ask one of the employees if you can win their hat Jacket if you got a high enough score. 5. Ask if you can win one of the roller coasters. 6. Start waving frantically at the conductor when you're seated, or... just do something... distracting... 7. If you win a giant stuffed animal, insist that he/she gets his/her own seat on one of the rides. 8. Before the ride even starts, start screaming obnoxiously LOUD while muttering things in gibberish. Be quiet during the entire ride until you're nearing the end, then start screaming again when the ride's stopped. 9. Start miming, build a box around the person wearing an employee outfit and a nametag, then, act like you're bashing it with something. 10. When playing air hockey in the arcade room, find the ticket exchange booth and throw the puck behind it. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. RIP We shall remember REST IN PIECE TOONAMI. From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget. Tom and the Absolution 1997-2008 A great Character and a funny host,You will live on forever in this. If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, Nikorasu Za Shugotenshi, ArracarKage, ferail If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED My parents are DIVORCED so I must be a bastard child I love WEAPONS so I must be psycotic. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" Riddicks rules of survival) 1. Pain's a part of life and life's a bitch. Anyone set on killing you isn't going wait for your every ache and pain to go away. The slower you are, the easier their job is. 2. Always carry something. Anything can be a weapon, but you have to be able to get to it--fast. Sometimes there is no warning. If you forget that, someone's going to kill you. 3. Always watch out for yourself. You can't do anything if you're dead. 4. You have to know the scene and the score. Don't jump into situations if you don't know anything about them. 5. Don't become predictable. 6. Always look for things that are out of place. 7. If something looks wrong, don't go near it. 8. If something looks too risky, find another way. 9. Plan for a situation, and then make more plans for it. 10. Make plans for other possible situations, and then make more plans for them. 11. Always conserve your energy, save it for when you need it. 12. When using your energy, never use more than you need. 13. Use your anger; don't let it use you. Anger is good--it's constructive. It gives people the ability to push further. 14. Do all of the above all the time until it becomes instinct. Murphy's laws of combat operations... by ShadowDragon Introduction: This is really just common sense, but believe it or not, common sense isn't all that common... 1. Friendly fire - isn't. The Man Laws 1. No wasted beer in the name of humor. 2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control 3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period. 4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. 5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar. 6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. 7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you. 8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death. 9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need. 10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets. 11. No man shall ever use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man. 12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it. 13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours. 14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed. 15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of rock paper scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun. Addendum to Man Law No. 15: 16. It is ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober. 17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom. 18. You poke it you own it. 19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men. 20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out. 21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day. 22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing). 23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar. 24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances. 25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty. 26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting. 27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies. 28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry" 29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you. 30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch. 31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day. 32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn't mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used if said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or a UFC cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it. 33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved. 34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships. 35. Women can't drive. 36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10. 37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not. 38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support 39. No more crushing of empty beer cans on your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past. 40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket. 41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal. 42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war. 43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room. 44. Sex is more important then talking 45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm. 46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking. 47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat 48. Men will invite other men to Man Law 49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand." 50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not. 51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes. 52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza. 53. If you spill a man's beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup. 54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, don't open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review. 55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped. 56. It is never a man's responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor's lawn. 57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer. 58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway. 59. The bachelor's party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment). 60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. 61. A man purse is still a purse. 62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex. 63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team. 64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life. 65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport. 66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once. 67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service. 68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone. 69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man. 70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex. 71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story. 72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring. 73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only. 74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man. 75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand. 76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men. 77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone. 78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth. 79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch. 80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice. 81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, or Ice Hockey. 82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys. 83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle. 84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female. 85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry. 86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing. 87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away. 88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man. 89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions. 90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. 91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monicristo, CAO (Cade Mayo). 92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined. 93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones) 94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. 95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours. 96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw". 97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50 without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400) 98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable. 100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case. 101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it. 102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean. 103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional) 104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You should know such things. 106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood. 107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don't let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline. 108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response. 109. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes. 110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was. 111. If offered a Billion dollars to star in a filthy gay porno a man must accept or is he obviously gay. 112. If offered sex with multiple partners of the opposite sex who are both above a 5 on the 1-10 scale you must accept or be stripped of all man status you have obtained and you will still be in the negative of man hood. The only exception of this law is if you have STDs but only if you got them in this process in the first place. Teen Commandments1.Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. 2. Thou shall not do drugs. 3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. 4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. 5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. 6. Thou shall not get into fights. 7. Thou shall not skip class. 8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class. 9. Thou shall not think about having sex. 10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. You Know You're an author when... You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?') When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?') After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...' You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!) You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. C: So it’s about time we laid down some rules. The Man Rules. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. 1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. 1. If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really. 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS!! FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through High School/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter Quote from KyubbiNaruto Last Words "It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...". "Don't touch the red button!" "It's fireproof." "So, you're a cannibal." "Are you sure the power is off?" "Pull the pin and count to what?" "Noo, These windows are ok to lean on." "Don’t worry it has airbags" "Don’t worry its not that deep." "No, he doesn’t bite." "Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel." "I can pass this guy." "My brakes are fine." "I think it's trying to communicate..." "Homicidal Tendencies"? "Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital." "No,No, it's only slightly dangerous." "I'd bet my life on it!" List of things i never want to hear: Lets go we have a drunk surgeon to find how long was i supposed to leave them in there again surgeon "Uh oh" the pilots unconsious id like you to meet doctor caboose humans are supposed to have how many lungs again wonder what this does? you dont really need both your (insert body part here) surgeon "huh" scratches head and looks at medical text book "what the fuck is that" I am a A Witchwood Dragon! Hey, I took the http:// online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Witchwood Dragon on the inside. In the war between good and evil, your inner Dragon self is rotten with the stench of EVIL... if you wanna take the quiz go to http:///dragon/getdrag.asp?e=3&c=2&m=2&s=2 What magic the gathering color are you BlueYou value knowledge, logic, and deceit. You love to pursue wisdom but also to manipulate and deceive. At your best, you are brilliant and progressive. At your worst, you are treacherous and cold. Your symbol is a water droplet. Your enemies are green and red. Video Game Characters Test Your Result Master Chief Stoic and proud, you work well with a team, but are better on your own. You love technology and exotic locales, but often are left to your own devices. Keep the helmet on, you look cooler. The quiz is at http:///video-game-quiz?gatherer_id=100332&gclid=CJCEsrzXhJkCFVCF7Qodu0-ol and it has one major flaw a shit load of ads. i went and took a twighlight quiz there as well Your ResultYour Result Jasper Hale You are Jasper Hale. You are very charismatic and have an uncanny ability to put others at ease. You are also a dependable leader and intuitive friend. You have a hard time ignoring temptation, as you are not naturally inclined to repress the way you feel. okay i ned something to do with my time heres another quiz i took this is from quizillawho are you in hyperactive mans world Your Result You're HellMan, the guy who's good but evil at the same time. You sold your soul to the devil and are back with powers beyond human comprehension. Hang with Hyperactive Man and kill Polish Sausage Man, the one who killed your parents! Final Fantasy 8 Personality Test You're Squall! Introverted, Brave, and Misunderstood. You're one of the most complex people ever and have very real and understandable reactions. You perfer to be alone most of the time, unless with that special someone. Just be yourself and forget what anyone else thinks. Open up a little, what harm could it do? Final Fantasy 7 QuizYour Result You're Cloud! You are good-hearted and are not afraid to do what's right. Even if the whole world stands against you you will not back down. You like to make accomplishments but you know when you've reached your limit and are not ashamed to ask for help. Though you seem stand-offish at times, you have many friends that you hold close to your heart. You are evil's worst nightmare! Which final fantasy good guy are you Created by odin89 Your Result You are Cloud. The main character from FF VII. You killed Sephiroth and saved the world. Your life was pretty confusing and all, but now everything is fine! Except, that you still needs to save planet from meteor! runs for her life Otherwise you are pretty good guy!! What Final Fantasy X character are you Created by di-gi-riku Your Result Congrats you are Wakka! Wakka is a 23 years old Blitzball champion. Wakka has protected Yuna since she was 7. His brother Chap died many years ago. Nevertheless Wakka is an energetic, light hearted yet stubborn character. Similar for his attitude to Zell from Final Fantasy VIII, Wakka anyhow acts in a more mature way. When he first meets Tidus, he is impressed by the resemblance of the boy with his dead brother. They immediately become big friends, and Wakka is sometimes a bit like Tidus' older brother. what anime character are you Result: Inu Yasha You are gruff and very arrogant. You love to fight non stop even if it may get you hurt. You can be loving but your hard-core tough-guy side gets the best of you. which akatsuki member are you? Result: Deidara He loves art and exploding Tobi. If he had a chance he would either blow up the world or kill Tobi! i just took a quiz to find out what kind of sexual deviant i am at http:///run.php/QuizRunner You Scored as Lollipop Virgin Lollipop Virgin... you're an untouchable, so pure and innocent... you make even the sweetest romantics look like scum in comparison. I dont know whether i should be happy or go out back and shoot myself seriously i need to stop with the quizzes they make me feel bad about myself what outlaw star character are you Hot Ice Hilda... Yeah what can i say Which death note character are you For 50 you are: You are L, the justice seeking mastermind! You are a very clever person, and work hard to achieve results. You have a sweet tooth, and seek knowledge in life. You stick by what you believe in, and are concerned with the good of others. You appear to oppose Light's actions in the anime/manga, and disagree with the idea that Kira is justice. which transformer are you You are 79 Bumblebee! Bumblebee As an Autobot spy, Bumblebee is the ultimate robot in disguise. What he lacks in size and strength, he makes up for with courage. He enjoys the company of humans and would do anything for his Earthly friends. Like Bumblebee, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. Your leadership skills are weak at best. You will never be the commander of the Autobots. In addition, you stick to the basics and don't need all the encumberances of modern technology. What Twilight Character Are You? Personality Quiz Result: Alice Cullen You are bubbly, fun, and loved by all. You can make friends very easily, but you can also be very scary if you need to be. No matter what your background is, your future is what you make it. what snack are you You are a very nice person! Sometimes you can get a little emotional, and you can be a softy. You never want to hurt someone else's feelings, or insult anybody. It is also hard for you to lie to anyone. Hobbies: Baking, Playing what day of the week are you Saturday You are calm but fun! People love you because of your high spirits and they love that you can be buckets of fun too! All your teachers think of you as - Ok. They know you don't enjoy school but they are glad that you are a good kid anyways. Are you Yin or Yang?You're Yang Yin and Yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole-but you're the bright element: You are active, light, masculine, upward-seeking and corresponds to the day. Not to mention adorable and cute! the color that describes you is The color that describes your personality is a sensual yellow, which means that you're pretty laid-back and happy with your life and the decisions you make. You're like the sunshine on a rainy day when you're in the presence of others, and people usually adore your soothing attitude and look up to you for advice when times are rough. To sum it all up, you're pretty much amazing! my alter ego isYou're a protector of nature your enemies won't notice you were there until you hit them wind your arrow or magic. When caught, they won't see you for long we you go invisible or run at the speed of sound. You are most likely to live in hunts hidden in trees or caves in foggy lands or even with a group of animals, and you may also work with a team. You also work hard to conserve nature. What is your aura color Green - Smart What element represents your fighting style (boy AND girl anime pics for each result) Created by abob412 Your element is earth. You have an unusually strong offense and defense, but you are not very agile, and quicker opponents may get the best of you. You are ALWAYS focused on the task at hand, but you sometimes crumble to fear of and influence from your opponent. Your greatest foes are of air. What kind of Mythical Creature are you Created by poetryingray Dragon The dragon is a huge creature, with the ability to turn living creatures into ash with its fiery breath. Yet it is not a violent being, its long life span means that it is very wise, and spends much of its time wondering about the mysteries of the universe. If your result was dragon, then you enjoy learning about ancient history, and your'e full of interesting facts that youv'e learnt over the years. You also love to feel the wind around you, and imagine what it would be like to fly high above the earth, your fingers touching the clouds. However, you can be quick to anger, because of your fiery personality, and people often take a step back when you have one of your mood swings. What Is Your Alignment Created by nymcrythil 86 other people got this result! That's 13 You are... Chaotic Neutral! You follow your whims and emotions, doing as you feel is right. You're an induvidualist first, last, and every position in between. You value your own freedom, but probably won't fight for that of others. You resent restrictions and tend to avoid being tied down. THIS IS IMPORTANT my computer exploded recently and this is the first time i have been able to update my profile, i'm sorry for the delay if anyone likes my story, i do have most of what i had written still and i should be able to post it soon. and im sorry for the update speed, im new at this so i need to get a rythm going. the update speed should increase exponentially after they become gennin and if i get a new computer or i fix the old one (not likely at this point) this could take some time though so i wont be updating till then. i might be getting a new computer soon so i can start putting the random thoughts in my head into story form i have several ideas for new stories as well. | |||||||
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