BULLYING SUCKS! IF YOU HAVE A FRIEND OR CLASSMATE WHO'S BEING BULLIED FOR ANY REASON, STAND WITH THEM! BULLIES ARE COWARDS AND WHEN CONFRONTED WITH A GROUP, THEY'LL RUN FASTER THAN ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY!

I SWEAR ON MY MAGIC THAT I WILL NEVER EVER WRITE A JILY OR MARAUDER FICTION AND I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THE MARAUDERS!

Hello!

I've had some criticism that my profile is full of dislikes and hatred. Sorry, that ain't going to change and the sentences above are in capitals because they're things I feel strongly about. I'm not yelling at anyone, but if I were, its my profile and I can yell if I want to! Simple - don't like, don't read!

I love writing Harry Potter fan fiction! I don't write canon-compliant fiction because Ms. Rowling already wrote it and I don't particularly like canon anyway. I write strictly AU fiction that is non-canon compliant because there were many things about the HP books that I didn't like. There are many things I don't care for in fan fiction, but I don't agree with deleting them either! Some of the things I don't like are:

Asswipe censorship groups such as Literary Union, Critics United, and Lawlclan - they're nothing but a bunch of whiny tattletales who think they're above the rules.

Jily and Marauder fics - they make me absolutely gag!

Harry/Hermione fics - they make me gag almost as much as the Jily's do!

Songfics of any kind.

The Harry Potter characters reading the Harry Potter books.

The HP characters answer your questions fics.

Dear Fan Fiction Writers fics - kind of a sneaky way to slam other fics without writing a review and risk getting their butts kicked by the author or other reviewers.

Marauder and Jily shippers who review Severus/Lily or Severus/Harry fics just so they can rant about their hatred of Severus.

Stories where the character has more than one wife or husband whether its a straight or gay fiction.

Stories where Harry or another character suffers from some Muggle medical condition such as cancer, autism, diabetes etc.

Fem-Harry stories.

Any Hermione-centric stories. She just really irritates the hell out of me!

Harry with super god-like powers. I don't mind if he's brilliant, but the other is just a little too weird.

Stories that are labeled Snily but are actually Jilys.

Severus being romantically involved with any former students whether it be Harry, Hermione, or Ginny stories because it's inappropriate and just plain gross!

Animagus, vampire, werewolf, creature Harry stories - sometime so much emphasis is put on becoming animagus etc. that it takes over the entire story.

Authors who apologize because their characters are OC or OOC. It's your damn story so write it the way you envisioned it!

Authors who ask at the end of every chapter, "Was that okay?" or "What do you think I should write next?" Again it's your damn story and if you have ask all your readers for reassurance or suggestions, stop writing and don't start again until you have your plot completely worked out and your self-confidence where it should be.

Long author notes at the start or the end of every chapter. Please save author's notes for something important!

Authors who threaten not to post another chapter unless they get a certain number of reviews - quit acting like a spoiled brat and a drama queen! Grow up!

Authors that brag in their summaries (in capital letters no less) how many hits their story got. Of course they conveniently forget to mention that they put it on Facebook or some other social network site to get that many hits. Really kind of tacky!

Badly written fiction with misspelled words and bad punctuation, incorrect paragraphing - please get a Beta, use a dictionary, or your spellcheck. Especially people who use lied as a past tense of lay. I see this so often in fan fictions and it drives me batty!

BIGGEST HP FICTION GRIPE: All the reviewers who immediately jump on the 'Mary Sue' bandwagon every time there's a non-canon female character. God Almighty! The wheels must be about ready to come off the thing with all those people riding on it! Kind of strange too when you consider Ms. Rowling admitted that she patterned Hermione after herself as a schoolgirl. Strangely enough, I don't hear anybody yelling "Mary Sue" about that!

HP Fan Fiction Stories I Really Like:

I love stories where the heads of house work together for the betterment of Hogwarts and the students.

Stories where Harry is emancipated and tells Dumbledork to go take a crap.

Most Snilys.

Things I REALLY HATE about canon:

Severus Snape - The major thing was the way Ms. Rowling treated Severus. The poor guy never got the slightest break. His parents didn't care about him, he was bullied (YES, BULLIED! 3 on 1 is bullying - not 'harmless or boyish pranks.') at Hogwarts by the Three Stooges while the 4th Stooge sat around doing nothing even though he was a Prefect (one can not help but notice Ms. Rowling is noticeably silent on this subject). It always seemed really weird and illogical to me that not even one professor stood up for him against the stooges. He lost his best friend because while being humiliated in front of half the school, he lost his temper and called her a nasty name. Even though he made a heartfelt apology, she refused to accept it even though she'd called him Snivellus in a fit of anger and told him to wash his underpants. I'm sure that was as hurtful to him as him calling her a Mudblood was to her, but did she ever even consider apologizing to Severus? In despair, he joins Voldy. I often wonder if any of them in the middle of the night wondered if they had been nicer to him, would he have been so willing to join Voldy? Probably not as that would require them to have had a conscience! When he finally realizes he's made a huge mistake and goes to Dumbledore for help. Dumbledore takes advantage of him and turns him into his own private puppet and uses his guilt over Lily's death to force him to watch over Harry the rest of his life. Dumbledore also guilts him into killing him not caring a bit whether it would tear Severus' soul, and he has to live with the fact that all his former colleagues think he's a murderer and despise him. He finally dies by bleeding out in the Shrieking Shack after being bit my Nagini and after giving Harry his memories. He didn't even get the satisfaction of being able to spit in all his detractor's eyes when they found out he'd been acting as a double agent all along. I've often wondered if the poor guy even got a decent burial or they just left his body to rot where he died! I do like to think that Harry insured he had a nice burial with a nice headstone denoting he was a hero (twice the hero Potter or Black ever were before and after they died! Neither of those twits could have done what Severus did!)

FOR those who are wondering - Severus will never be a Death Eater for any reason in any of my stories

Lily - Canon Lily was dumber than dirt! She'd been friends with Severus for six years and didn't know his utter humiliation was the reason he called her that? It would have just been another thing for the Marauders to bully him about - having to have a girl save him. She could have taken Harry and apparated out before Voldy even reached the nursery. While there were probably anti-apparition wards to keep DE's from apparating in; I can't imagine why there would be ones that kept you from apparating out. Did she really think it was better for Harry to grow up an orphan no matter who got eventual custody of him? She was also spoiled, selfish, self-righteous, judgmental and unforgiving. She probably acted that way to Petunia when she was home from school and probably definitely after she started going out with the Supreme Dickweed! To quote fan fic writer evil minded: Here is your sign: (I AM A SHALLOW, SELF-CENTERED, SPOILED BITCH!)

FOR those who are wondering - Lily will never be a shallow, selfish, judgmental, self-righteous, unforgiving bitch in any of my stories. I like my Lily with brains and ambition.

James - Hero status? Give me a break! Potter was a bully, a liar and a stalker. Potter bullied Severus right up to the end of their seventh year and never showed any regret for it. Really great behavior for a Head Boy! According to Ms. Rowling, Potter eventually grew up, but bullies don't 'grow up'; they just grow into bigger bullies! Bosses who bully their employees, employees who bully their co-workers, their wives, kids, and their neighbors. Potter lied about the werewolf incident by not telling Dumbledore that Severus had been tricked into going into the Shrieking Shack by Black. I always wondered why Dumbledore didn't ask how they knew about it, but I guess he didn't really want to see the tarnish on his golden boys. Potter also lied to Lily about stopping his hexing of Severus once they started going out as he promised her he would. He stalked Lily for the better part of seven years even after she told him she didn't like him and requested he leave her alone. Here is your sign: (I'M A LYING, BULLYING, STALKING ASSHAT!)

Sirius - His assertion to Harry that Severus knew more curses coming into Hogwarts than most seventh year students plain old bullshit! In the first place how the hell would he know as he didn't live in the neighborhood and had never met Severus prior to the Hogwarts Express? Where would he have learned them? He grew up in a Muggle neighborhood where the only other magical people were his mother and Lily. As far as I can tell, his mother never used magic of any kind after she married Tobias or else Tobias would have beaten the crap out of her. I doubt there was a handy bookcase filled with Dark Arts books sitting around the living room as Tobias probably would have used them for fireplace fuel if there had been. Sirius is just a big blowhard and a lying bullshitter! He gets hero status because he fought Voldy as part of the Order? Wrong! He died because Bellatrix hit with a stunning spell and he accidentally fell through the Veil. Give me a break! That's heroic? He was so busy taunting his insane cousin that he wasn't watching what she was doing. The asshole obviously forgot Moody's first rule of thumb - constant vigilance! He ran off to the Ministry against Dumbledore's order, never giving a thought to what would happen to Harry if he were killed just as he never gave a thought to Harry after his parents were killed. He just ran off after Pettigrew intent on getting his revenge! And let's not forget that he tried to murder Severus when they were fifteen or sixteen by sending him down to Lupin when he was fully transformed and it's not like he didn't know what would happen. Even if Severus, as they claimed, was spying on them and trying to get them into trouble; he didn't deserve that! He apparently didn't give a flying 'F' about Lupin either because he would have ended up in Azkaban or else put down by the Ministry had he bit or killed Severus! Maybe, that's why he was put in Azkaban accused of killing Pettigrew without a trial because they already knew he'd tried to murder somebody at the age of fifteen or sixteen. Here is your sign: (I AM AN ATTEMPTED MURDERER!)

Remus - Otherwise known for his lack of a backbone. He sat around with his nose in a book, ignoring his friends bullying Severus even though he was a Prefect and should have stopped them. Nice example to set for the younger students! He didn't take the Wolfsbane Potion when he was supposed to when he taught at Hogwarts and endangered everyone around him. Even as an adult and married to Tonks, he showed very little backbone. He was going to run out on her when she was pregnant because he was afraid the baby would be a werewolf or have werewolf tendencies. Here is your sign: (I HAVE NO BACKBONE TO SPEAK OF!)

Dumbledore - He's supposed to be the greatest Wizard ever and supposedly the only one Voldy was ever afraid of. Bah! Humbug! Why is he sitting around on his bony ass instead of challenging Voldy to a duel. What if he'd defeated Voldy before he'd gotten so powerful. If he suspected Voldy had created the Horcruxes, why didn't he find them and get rid of them before Voldy came back the second time? As far as I'm concerned he wasn't any better than Voldy! He used people and threw them aside like garbage when they were no longer of any use to him. They were two sides of the same coin. Just because you do something that's supposedly for the 'light' does not make it automatically moral! The dumb ass leaves Harry on the Dursley's front steps and doesn't even give a f*k that there might be DE's around, that it's cold outside or that Harry is old enough to walk and could have wandered off, or been attacked by an animal and then the old fart goes on his merry way to celebrate the fall of Voldy! He never bothered to check on Harry, not once in eleven years. He must have known something was up when he noticed he was smaller and thinner that most of the boys in his year. But no, he just wanted a malleable, little puppet who would be so grateful for the least crumbs of affection that he'd do anything Dumbledick asked so he didn't give a hoot if the Dursley's were treating Harry like a house elf and not feeding him or clothing him except with Dudley's hand-me-downs! When Dumbledoof was sorted, he should have been sorted into Dumbass House! Here is your sign: (I AM VOLDEMORT'S LOST TWIN!)

The Prophecy - Severus didn't know when he handed this partial prophecy to Voldy if he'd even believe it. He could have just said, "You got this from Sybil Trelawney who everybody know finds her prophecies in the bottom of a sherry bottle? Crucio!" He didn't know Voldy would use it to target the Potters. It would've been more likely for Voldy to target the Longbottoms given his disdain of Muggleborns and Muggles. As Snapegirlkmf pointed out; there were certainly more wizarding children than just Harry and Neville born on July 30th and July 31st.

Peter Pettigrew - I've always wondered if old Potter and Black had treated him like a true friend instead of a joke, if they had helped him with his studies rather than making fun of him because he wasn't as, supposedly, smart as them (the scene about the werewolf OWL question in Snape's Worst Memory chapter), if they had helped him develop his defensive skills so he wouldn't have been so afraid, would he have been so willing to join Voldy and betray them? I know Rowling made him a real slime bucket in the book, but again, if circumstance had been changed, wouldn't he be different, too?

Slytherin House - It seems okay with Ms. Rowling for the Gryffindors to be prejudiced against the Slytherins. Recall the remarks made to Harry by Hagrid and Ron Weasley. Sure Ron only made the anti-Slytherin in the movie, but the script was approved by Rowling. Hmm ...Isn't this the same kind of prejudice some of the Slytherins show towards non-Purebloods. Prejudice is prejudice and it takes many different forms, but one is bad as the other. Not all of Slytherin House were followers of Voldy's. If there were nothing but Purebloods in Slytherin, it would have died out a long time ago because according to what Hagrid told Hermione in COS, there weren't that many Purebloods left. Why should subsequent generations of Slytherin House be held accountable for the sins of Voldemort and assumed they would definitely become Death Eaters? It makes about as much sense as saying that everybody who graduates from the same high school as serial killer Ted Bundy will become a serial killer. In the DH2 movie, Adolfa McGonagall orders all the Slytherin students to be locked in the Dungeon because they couldn't be trusted even though they gave her no reason to not trust them. When Severus warns the students if they know anything about Harry and don't tell him, they'll be in serious trouble. None of them spoke up even when Harry was standing right in their midst. When Voldy starts to speak, the Slytherins looked just as scared as everybody else. The only ones who couldn't be trusted were Parkinson, Crabbe and Goyle! McGonagall didn't give a sh*t about the Slytherins. I mean who cares if the floor caves in on them?

Child Abuse - Locking a child in a cupboard without food for even one meal is child abuse! Harry's relatives were committing child abuse in their treatment of Harry, but this seems to have gone right over Ms. Rowling's head. Here is your sign: (CHILD ABUSE IS EVIL!).

Plot Holes That Really Bug Me:

Blood Wards Crapola - Nobody knows what Lily really did to protect Harry because nobody was there to witness it so why does Dumbledoof just assume she used 'old magic' to protect him? Where's his proof? Using this crap Dumbledip forced Harry to stay at the Dursley's even though after 4th year when Pettigrew took some of Harry's blood to recreate Moldy-Fart's body, the blood wards would have been useless. Sure they would have still kept Death Eaters from getting through, but why would Moldy-Fart send that lame crew when he could go get Harry himself?

Dobby Blocked Barrier Second Year: How come the Weasley's seeing off the Hogwarts Express in Harry's and Ron's second year missed that neither of them had come through the barrier and hadn't gotten on the train especially with Harry being the 'Boy-Who-Lived' you'd think they'd be extra cautious about his security.

Okay, end of my rant on the things I don't like about HP. Here are some things I do like:

Fred and George Weasley. I'm still major pissed that Ms. Rowling killed Fred!

Dobby - loyal to a fault. I'm also still pissed about Dobby being killed.

Hedwig - also loyal to a fault. Still pissed because she died!

Harry, Ron and Hermione - I like the friendship and loyalty they showed towards one another. They had their falling out now and again, but were always able to forgive and remain friends. I guess Harry was more forgiving than his mother was.

Professor Flitwick and Professor Sprout - They are the professors who seemed to care the least about house affiliations.

Hagrid - I admired his steadfast loyalty although not who he was loyal to and his belief that people could change and his love of animals no matter how dangerous they might be. Unfortunately, his steadfast loyalty to Dumbledore did blind him to the man's manipulative, controlling character.

Luna Lovegood - She knew who she was, and no matter how weird everybody else thought she was, she never changed. She would have been a great person to have as a friend!

Neville - I admire him because he was finally able to become his own person and be proud of who he was. He should have married Luna in canon. They would have made a great couple!

Augusta Longbottom - Loved it when she kicked Dawlish's ass! I want to kick ass like her when I'm eighty! I didn't like the way she treated Neville though. She wasn't really proud of him until after the Ministry bit 5th year. Why couldn't she just accept that he was never going to be his father and move on?

For those of you who are reading my story, "Maybe I'm Amazed," Snapegirlkmf and I are collaborating on a story called "Lily's Defender." You can find it at www.fanfiction.ws/s/7094491/1/Lilys_Defender

Most favorite books at the moment - The Spook's book series by Joseph Delaney - awesome!

I also love the television shows, Sleepy Hollow & Lucifer - fantastic! They're the only two I watch.