Greetings all. Through some great administrative flamingo-up (kind of like a cock-up, but bigger), you have inadvertently stumbled onto my profile page. (Cue evil laughter). And now you are all trapped here! Trapped, I say! (What, that's only if I get the handcuffs on them and wrestle them into the basement first?! Why did no-one mention this?!)

Moving on now.

When I finally get my ass in gear and finish one of my stories (it's coming, it's coming... at about a paragraph a week... I've really lost it...), I have a Harry Potter fic in the works. It'll be in two parts- in school and post- grad, and I'm looking forward to it. This is partly what's pulled my off the Twilight Fics. Apologies, all. Titles and plots have been decided. PM me for a plot summary if you so wish.
Part one- You Won't Ask, I Can't Tell.
Part two- I Swore Not To Say.

It's been established. There will be five AU Twilight fics. All five are to be written, plus a companion fic of random little scenes I can't stick in anywhere because it spoils the flow, doesn't quite fit, or is just plain weird. That'll probably be called Morning's Glow, in keeping with my psuedo Stephenie titles.

So. I'm Shannon. I'm in high school. I have an oddly skewed taste in music. I have 'clingy people' issues. I'm not altogether very fond of my sibling (so bloody annoying). I spend way too much time on my computer. I like to insult people in foreign languages. I hate cheese. I hate the guy my friend was crushing on whom we eventually nicknamed cheese. I also hate the guy we nicknamed breadsticks, but I like the food.

I'm usually Team Edward (screw you, Jacob), but suddenly, overnight, I have a thing for Jasper. LOVE YOU, JASPER!! I love the Slytherin guys; Gryffindors irritate me most of the time. Is it so wrong of me to say the Slytherin guys are just so much hotter? Fang from the Maximum Ride books was once my ideal of a perfect guy. I used to have a thing for Orlando Bloom as Legolas in LOtR. I mean, seriously. He's so much better as a blond, he does absolutely nothing for me as a brunette (Paris, Troy.) Whoever looked at him and thought 'gorgeous blond elf' should definitely be given an award of some kind. Jace from City of Bones is also on the favourites list.

I loathe people who talk in cyberspeak on a regular basis ( LOL, OMG, WTF?): I have been known to do it occasionally, but only when emotion (usually pissed off-ed ness) overrides common sense. Texting is fine; regular conversation is not. I prefer cats to dogs. I have a penchant for scented candles. Martial arts and kickboxing are some of my favourite things to do in my off time, besides read and write. I love putting outfits together, even if they are somewhat indecent for everyday (or ever) wear.

ORIGINAL POEM! (Copyrighted by myself and the 2008 Productions I Class) (This will make sense later on, I swear)

Mike: Hey Rya! I wrote you a poem!
Rya: (oh god) ...Yeah.
Mike: (clueless, as usual)
Violets are blue,
Roses are red
Edward: Isn't that the wrong way around?
Mike: (gay voice) Poetic license, Cullen.
Edward: Oh.
Mike: (clears throat)
Violets are blue,
Roses are red.
I'd screw you
Even if you were dead.
Everyone: (silence)

Rya's personal take on life, love, and the fucked-up world of Daimons, Dark-Hunters, Dream-Hunters, Were-Hunters, Charontes, Gods, Goddesses etc. she lives in:
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Rya's personal take on herself in the world:
Well-behaved women seldom make history.

You ask for advice? Yeah, not so good at that. May I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?

Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.

Normality will be restored as soon as we remember what it is.

No one is perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

Life is all about ass. Either everyone is covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece if it, or simply just being one.

When life gives you lemons, make mango juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave in a safe, well-preserved body, but to skid in sideways, totally worn out, screaming "Holy crap, what a ride!"

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.

An enemy is like a slinky. Useless in the grand scheme of things, yet bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

I have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be sitting around making s'mores and hitting on hot firemen.

Friends give you their umbrella when it rains. Best friends steal yours and yell "Run fucker, run!"

Friends ask why you cry and comfort you. Best friends already have a shovel ready to bury the fucker that made you cry.

Elvis: So what's the plan?
Rimmer: We attack tomorrow... under cover... of daylight.
Kryten: Daylight, sir?
Rimmer: It's the last thing they'd expect. A daylight charge... over the minefield!
Laurel:(faints)

Lister: (sorting mail) Me... me... me... you... me... me...
Rimmer: It's all junk mail, yours is. You know that?
Lister: Me... me...
Rimmer: You send off for every bit of junk going, just so you'll have some mail to open.
Lister: Me... me...
Rimmer: (bad accent) Yes, please rush me my portable walrus cleaning kit. Four brushes guaranteed to clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. (bad accent starts fading) Yes, I am over eighteen, although my IQ isn't.
Lister: Me... me... Smeg! Outland Revenue!
Rimmer: (sing song voice) Uh-oh! Outland Revenue!
Lister: Eight thousand... five hundred?!
Rimmer: My, Listy, that's an awful lot of tax, isnt it? How on earth are you going to pay that?
Lister: I'm not. It's yours.
Rimmer: WHAT?! No. No. This is wrong. This is... this is well wrong.
Lister: Don't worry 'bout it! You're safe, there not gonna catch you now.
Rimmer: What, just because we're three million years in deep space and the human race is extinct?! That means nothing to these people! They'll find us!