NothingPretentious
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Joined 01-21-11, id: 2713680, Profile Updated: 04-10-13
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, and Monty Python.

Nothing pretentious here. Just another guy with a couple of stories to tell.

Accompany me on my descent into literary madness.


I've removed my story, Harry Potter and the Original Rules. I had too many vague ideas for it and not enough sense of direction. I may, at some point, rewrite it, but that's not in the cards right now. Don't be surprised to see story elements from it appear in my other fics!


11 April, 2013

[ I still aten't dead]

Watch this space.

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Far Too Many Time Travelers by Lord Jeram reviews
Someone has a daring plan to go back in time and fix everything. No wait, not him, I meant the other... how many people have time traveled anyway? Poor Harry seems to be the only normal one left.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 73,381 - Reviews: 496 - Favs: 1,504 - Follows: 2,018 - Updated: 4/30 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Harry P.
Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot reviews
Odd little one shots that may or may not be turned into their own stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 185 - Words: 803,427 - Reviews: 12184 - Favs: 5,723 - Follows: 4,704 - Updated: 12/19/2019 - Published: 9/4/2005
Harry Potter and Future's Past by DriftWood1965 reviews
Starts out the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione meet the Goddess of Love, and she offers to let them go back in time. Strictly Harry and Hermione. Minor - well maybe major Ginny, Ron and Dumbledore Bashing. Soul Bond - Time Travel
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 326,387 - Reviews: 7528 - Favs: 15,677 - Follows: 18,335 - Updated: 8/24/2019 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Forests of Valbonë by enembee reviews
Long ago the Forests of Valbonë were closed to wizards and all were forbidden to set foot within them. So when, at the end of his second year, Harry becomes disenchanted with his life at Hogwarts, where else could he and his unlikely band of cohorts want to go? Join Harry on a trip into the unknown, where the only certainty is that he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 118,942 - Reviews: 2273 - Favs: 3,329 - Follows: 3,042 - Updated: 7/18/2019 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Harry P., Sorting Hat - Complete
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 by Sir Poley reviews
Milo, a genre-savvy D&D Wizard and Adventurer Extraordinaire is forced to attend Hogwarts, and soon finds himself plunged into a new adventure of magic, mad old Wizards, metagaming, misunderstandings, and munchkinry. Updates monthly.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 74 - Words: 314,214 - Reviews: 6664 - Favs: 6,812 - Follows: 7,684 - Updated: 8/2/2018 - Published: 5/7/2012
An Inconvenient Truth by old-crow reviews
After the events in third year, the wizarding world grows darker. Fudge seems intent on spending more time covering up what's happening than dealing with it. Could a stronger relationship between Harry and the Bones family change history?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 174,464 - Reviews: 2430 - Favs: 4,741 - Follows: 3,194 - Updated: 6/22/2016 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Harry P., Susan B. - Complete
Harry's New Home by kbinnz reviews
One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it? AU, sequel to "Harry's First Detention". OVER FIVE MILLION HITS!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 64 - Words: 318,389 - Reviews: 11867 - Favs: 9,818 - Follows: 3,579 - Updated: 5/9/2016 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Greased Firebolt by Tyringpretilly reviews
It was the end of summer 1997, Harry was on the train back to school in a compartment crammed with his fellow T-Owls. He was daydreaming about the sun-filled summer he'd had away from the Dursleys, he'd even met a girl. Wow you wouldn't believe how well this works. Have a laugh!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,142 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/2/2015 - Published: 3/23/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 35539 - Favs: 26,478 - Follows: 19,518 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Common Sense by DisobedienceWriter reviews
My odd ideas file. Little snippets that don't quite merit their own stories. Some funny; some less so.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 118,728 - Reviews: 1798 - Favs: 2,147 - Follows: 1,340 - Updated: 10/21/2014 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Complete
Forging the Sword by Myst Shadow reviews
::Year 2 Divergence:: What does it take, to reshape a child? And if reshaped, what then is formed? Down in the Chamber, a choice is made. (Harry's Gryffindor traits were always so much scarier than other peoples'.)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 152,578 - Reviews: 3254 - Favs: 8,828 - Follows: 10,411 - Updated: 8/19/2014 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Temporal Beacon by willyolioleo reviews
At the end of 3rd year, Hermione asks Harry for some help with starting an interesting project. If a dark lord's got a 50-year head start on you, maybe what you need is a little more time to even the playing field. AU, Timetravel, HHr, mild Ron bashing. Minimizing new powers, just making good use of existing ones.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 70 - Words: 428,826 - Reviews: 5588 - Favs: 6,316 - Follows: 6,843 - Updated: 9/19/2013 - Published: 11/30/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619 reviews
This is an extremely AU crossover fic that asks the question what might have happened if Petunia Dursley hadn't found a young Harry Potter sleeping on her doorstep on the morning of the 2nd of November 1981. After all, Dumbledore was a bit careless with
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 111,868 - Reviews: 2463 - Favs: 8,953 - Follows: 5,314 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Harry Potter Omake Files: Innortal Style by Innortal reviews
Hogwarts, welcome to the Time Loops.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 63,419 - Reviews: 430 - Favs: 1,324 - Follows: 1,046 - Updated: 4/4/2012 - Published: 9/1/2007
The Next Great Annoyance by dogbertcarroll reviews
Graduating from Hogwarts and on the brink of a whole new adventure, Harry finds himself summoned to another world where once more he is asked to put his gollies on the anvil for everyone else. It sucks being the hero sometimes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,414 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 1,383 - Follows: 1,451 - Updated: 2/3/2012 - Published: 12/11/2011 - Harry P.
Harry the Hufflepuff 2 by BajaB reviews
Lazy!Harry is back, and not doing very much at all...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,642 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 5,095 - Follows: 1,919 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
The Best Revenge by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
AU. Yes, the old Snape retrieves Harry from the Dursleys formula. I just had to write one. Everything changes, because the best revenge is living well. T for Mentor Snape's occasional naughty language. Supportive Minerva. Over three million hits!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 213,669 - Reviews: 6860 - Favs: 10,462 - Follows: 5,226 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
If I Could Live This Time Again by Duana reviews
Aghast at the effects of war, Harry passes out from exhaustion only to find himself awoken in a place he knows no longer stands, with people he knows no longer live and a destiny he thought he no longer had. hpss, slash time travel more warnings inside...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 56,660 - Reviews: 508 - Favs: 1,007 - Follows: 1,334 - Updated: 4/26/2011 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Harry P., Severus S.
Narcissism by lunakatrina reviews
It all started with a bit of unfortunate timing. AU, doesn't really follow the later books, gen
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,409 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 319 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 2/1/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
On a Train, Switching Tracks by Mede reviews
First year: "Celebrities," Harry said. "Fame makes them mad. I take it the wizarding world doesn't really have them, then?" Draco and Ron exchanged glances. "No, not really." AU, assorted oneshots and snippets.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,534 - Reviews: 851 - Favs: 3,948 - Follows: 3,195 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Harry P., Ron W., Draco M., Neville L.
Harry's Rejection Letter by Manchester reviews
Harry Potter actually manages to reply to Professor McGonagall's letter inviting him to Hogwarts for his first year. It just wasn't what that witch was expecting.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,094 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 126 - Published: 1/17/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
His Own Man by Crunchysunrises reviews
In the station between Life and Death Harry makes a different choice. Now he is eleven again, nothing is going the same as before, and people are starting to ask questions, especially the Malfoys, the Hogwarts professors and, most worryingly, Mad-Eye Moody. Harry is beginning to suspect that he might not be up to this Master of Death business and everything that goes along with it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 147,481 - Reviews: 5640 - Favs: 14,808 - Follows: 16,261 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Harry P.
Gryffindors Never Die by ChipmonkOnSpeed reviews
Harry and Ron, both 58 and both alcoholics, are sent back to their 4th year and given a chance to do everything again. Will they be able to do it right this time? Or will history repeat itself? Canon to Epilogue, then not so much... (Reworked)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 74,394 - Reviews: 722 - Favs: 3,738 - Follows: 1,169 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
The Best Revenge: Time of the Basilisk by Arsinoe de Blassenville reviews
AU: The continuation of Book I. Not all of Tom Riddle is gone. A mysterious journal and a new Defense teacher pose challenges for Harry and his guardian. T for Mentor Snape's occasional naughty language. Supportive Minerva.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 108,739 - Reviews: 2639 - Favs: 3,946 - Follows: 1,593 - Updated: 11/14/2010 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure by jbern reviews
The sequel to Bungle in the Jungle. Told in 2nd person. Harry Potter has returned to England. In the jungles of South America, he became his own man, a hero of his own choice and not unfortunate circumstance. Is it enough to save him?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 134,063 - Reviews: 1983 - Favs: 4,478 - Follows: 2,386 - Updated: 11/13/2010 - Published: 8/31/2007 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
The Book of Dobby Reboot: Per Arcana ad Astra by Doghead Thirteen reviews
Rewriting the Book of Dobby. Harry Potter has had enough, and now - with a little help from his friends - he's decided to bring the fight to the Death Eaters in a way they cannot understand. Turn out those lights! Don't you know there's a war on?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Girl Genius - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 42,481 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 749 - Follows: 836 - Updated: 8/6/2010 - Published: 5/27/2009
He's Not Normal by Uncle Stojil reviews
Harry Potter goes back in time and has to start everything again. Do you think he will be careful not to screw the timeline up? No, he doesn’t even think about it! A story featuring a loony Harry and a Magical World that seems willing to adapt to him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 51,722 - Reviews: 838 - Favs: 3,744 - Follows: 3,946 - Updated: 5/24/2010 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Harry P.
Peggy Susie by EliezerYudkowsky reviews
She fought her way to the Box, and somehow made it work, and now she's back. Will she be able to prevent the end of the world this time around? -- If this isn't the world's most gratuitous Peggy Sue fic, I'd like to know what is.
Misc. Comics - Rated: T - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,279 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 34 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Complete
The Desk by opalish reviews
Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 1,512 - Follows: 247 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Finale of the Ultimate Meta Mega Crossover by EliezerYudkowsky reviews
Vernor Vinge x Greg Egan crackfic. This was supposed to be a bit of utterly deranged fun, but got out of control and ended up as a deep philosophical exploration.
X-overs - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,500 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 38 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Complete
Dated 2 May, 1998 by Lady Altair reviews
Severus Snape's last letter is not to anyone important.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,830 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 46 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Katie B., Severus S. - Complete
The Prank War by CrazyGirl47 reviews
Now that Voldemort is dead, Harry and company are enjoying their last year of school by taking part in a timehonored Hogwarts tradition: the seventh year prank war. Edited and reposted. First brand new chapter now updated!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 169,287 - Reviews: 6860 - Favs: 4,100 - Follows: 2,794 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 8/14/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M.
The Lie I've Lived by jbern reviews
Not all of James died that night. Not all of Harry lived. The Triwizard Tournament as it should have been and a hero discovering who he really wants to be.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 234,571 - Reviews: 4833 - Favs: 12,930 - Follows: 5,980 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Measure for Measure by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe reviews
Fornicate with the universe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 19 - Words: 84,716 - Reviews: 669 - Favs: 1,801 - Follows: 1,893 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Harry P., Daphne G., Katie B., Astoria G.
End Of the Line by shewhoguards reviews
Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform.Post Deathly Hallows. Contains spoilers.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,933 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 2,455 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Severus S. - Complete
Elementary Calculations by kcourtkat reviews
After finding out about his magic earlier, a decidedly non-Gryffindor Harry Potter plots his way to success.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 44,331 - Reviews: 2038 - Favs: 5,172 - Follows: 5,904 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Harry P.
The Greatest Minister of Magic by BajaB reviews
“...take the steps I have suggested, and you will be remembered, in office or out, as one of the bravest and greatest Ministers of Magic we have ever known.” - Albus Dumbledore – Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,767 - Reviews: 403 - Favs: 1,772 - Follows: 460 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Complete
Gossip Queens by opalish reviews
After the war, Neville and Harry meet up to mock people and get drunk. It's a good life. Post-DH oneshot crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 2,329 - Follows: 348 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P., Neville L. - Complete
A Black Comedy by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. Two years after defeating Voldemort, Harry falls into an alternate dimension with his godfather. Together, they embark on a new life filled with drunken debauchery, thievery, and generally antagonizing all their old family, friends, and enemies.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 246,320 - Reviews: 6353 - Favs: 17,101 - Follows: 5,971 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Complete
Cauterize by Lady Altair reviews
"Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 1728 - Favs: 8,182 - Follows: 1,065 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Dennis C. - Complete
Oswald the Ottoman by lunakatrina reviews
Voldemort never saw this coming! Harry aquires an ottoman...AU, ignores DH and most of HBP for it's own sanity
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,941 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 1,494 - Follows: 409 - Updated: 2/18/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Almost a Squib by BajaB reviews
What if Vernon and Petunia were even more successfull in 'beating all that nonsense' out of Harry? A silly AU story of a nonpowerful, but cunning, Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 46,899 - Reviews: 1176 - Favs: 4,670 - Follows: 1,170 - Updated: 1/18/2008 - Published: 11/11/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
So You've Decided to Be Evil by Evadne reviews
Harry Potter discovers there are things far, far more annoying than Death.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,600 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 1,725 - Follows: 1,236 - Updated: 12/1/2007 - Published: 3/3/2006 - Voldemort, Harry P.
Night of the Anas by shewhoguards reviews
“I bet it sneaked up here from Experimental Charms, they’re so careless, remember that poisonous duck?” The story behind the escaped poisonous duck.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,990 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Complete
Who You Gonna Call? by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
One shot, Dangerverse. Lord Voldemort's plan to make himself a deity goes very, very wrong. References Ghostbusters. Clear area of pets, small children, and bosses and use lavatory before starting. Do not eat or drink while reading. Have a nice day.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 16 - Published: 3/15/2007 - Complete
So Sue Me by lunakatrina reviews
My take on Harry's first year starting with him getting his letters. Add a lot of sarcasm, stir, and serve cold.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,383 - Reviews: 2397 - Favs: 4,695 - Follows: 3,966 - Updated: 1/5/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P.
Happy Birthday, Mr Dark Lord by angel272 reviews
ONE SHOT. Lord Voldemort announces that he's going to celebrate his birthday with Sugar Quills, PintheBeakontheHippogriff, and Death Eaters in hula skirts. Has he finally lost his mind?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,522 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/12/2005 - Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
Living with Danger by whydoyouneedtoknow reviews
AU, first in the main Dangerverse series, now complete. Lone wolf. Dream-seer. Bright child. Scarred child. Singer. Prisoner. Dancer child. Dragon child. Eight semi-ordinary people. One extraordinary family, and how they became one. Pre-Hogwarts story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 222,438 - Reviews: 3906 - Favs: 4,183 - Follows: 1,077 - Updated: 3/12/2005 - Published: 10/25/2004 - Complete
The Basement by Marz1 reviews
AU third year. I must have a sign on my back that says psycho paths please attack me. I would not put it beyond Dudley to afix such a sign to me, but I doubt he could spell it accurately enough for a psycho to understand.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 80,802 - Reviews: 1464 - Favs: 1,228 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 5/30/2004 - Published: 12/2/2003 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Breaking Tradition by Mortalus reviews
When Harry Potter dies at the ripe old age of 107, an unlikely mourner comes to visit his grave.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,672 - Reviews: 488 - Favs: 1,902 - Follows: 345 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Severus S., Voldemort - Complete
I am the Very Model of a Future Evil Overlord by Elspeth1 reviews
J.K. Rowlings meets W.S. Gilbert.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/26/2002 - Draco M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ninety-Nine Trope Subversions And A Deckchair Party reviews
Harry Potter and friends kick back and relax at the First Annual Post-Voldemort Party And Jamboree. What did Bill Weasley refer to as his "Rod of Wonder"? Where is Crabbe Castle? How did Voldemort get an army of steampunk ice giants? Who is Albus Baker? What does Hermione need the chloroform for? Why is Ginny a lich? Get ready for none of these questions, and more, to be answered.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 16 - Published: 12/12/2014
Harry amidst the Vaults of Stone reviews
Following the fall of Voldemort, it is up to the Gringotts goblins to carry out the terms of the Potters' will. What will happen when young Harry Potter - halfblood, Parselmouth, curse-scarred, outsider - is raised in the stalagmite city of Underfoot?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 157,245 - Reviews: 2178 - Favs: 3,933 - Follows: 4,565 - Updated: 5/24/2013 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Harry P.
AU phigorey: The Gashlycrumb Wizards reviews
Literary nonsense, with a question mark next to 'literary'. Just unmitigated Alternative Universe poppycock in the form of alphabetic verse.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 267 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Alicia S., Blaise Z. - Complete
Raiders Of The Lost Horcrux reviews
Ron might end up getting killed chasing after his damned 'fortune and glory'. But not today. * Just a somewhat silly oneshot. *
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,514 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/8/2012 - Ron W. - Complete
Mandragora reviews
Consider the curiously humanoid mandrake root, or mandragora. It is hideously ugly, deadly dangerous, and a powerful restorative. Why would anything else matter? * * A tale of horror. Please review. * *
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 762 - Follows: 115 - Published: 2/23/2012 - P. Sprout - Complete
The Wand Shop Sketch reviews
"Do you have any wands?" - "Well," Ollivander exclaimed, "I'm afraid we don't get much call for them around these parts, sir." - "Not mu-? they're the most popular tool for casting spells in the world!" - "Not round these parts, sir," Ollivander smiled.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Monty Python - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 63 - Published: 11/18/2011 - G. Ollivander - Complete
Lessons With Hagrid reviews
"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,357 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 4,394 - Follows: 921 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Rubeus H. - Complete
Take Care Of Yourself reviews
When an infant Harry is rescued from the Dursleys to be raised by his Were-uncle Moony, his Godfather Lord Black, and his time-turned future self, the biggest question is obviously... who gets to be the daddy? T for language, otherwise safe. ON HOLD.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,728 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 678 - Follows: 849 - Updated: 7/27/2011 - Published: 3/15/2011 - Harry P.