Just gave birth early January. If you don't want to hear long-winded bloviation on how precious babies are in general and my son is in particular, you may want to avoid talking to me for awhile. Probably a long while. I don't anticipate my son growing less precious, and no other topic is nearly as interesting.

Edit to add: Baby #2 arrived mid-September. The above still applies.

A little about me: I have an original fiction account on FictionPress.com (under the same name - it won't let me link.) Both my best friend (DarthRuinous) and my sister (Crescent Moon Dancer) are on here. I was flipping through various Star Wars/LotR crossovers when I remembered that I, too, once wrote fanfiction, and decided to get an account. Now, I've got a few fics up, and way more in my favorites than should be permissible...

My stories: I am a strict Christian, you'll never find smut or slash in my works. (Yes, the Bible does speak against it, despite what some would have you think.) If you see anything you think is slash, it isn't. I do, however, still believe in best friends. And best friends take liberties. ~Note to this: I have written one or two stories with strong suggestions of out-of-wedlock liaisons. I in no way endorse this, but in the interest of keeping borrowed characters in character it is sometimes necessary.~

My older works - such as Last Stand and Never Thought - may come across as overly melodramatic, inaccurate, and possibly even boring. No one is proud of their first stories. One Question is not a story, it was me ranting. Toss of the Coin is my baby, and while some of the older installments are... a bit lame/unlikely, I do flatter myself that I've improved. Anything else not mentioned, I consider my average and possibly above.

I am also doing a visual story on a website called Polyvore - nominally a fashion/shopping website, there is also a flourishing community of artists. My own style is, I believe, unique, but I actually rather like it. If you're interested in seeing/reading the story, remove the space: polyvore. com/empresses/collection?id=4661185 )

One of my stories appears in a review found here: fanorbit. com/2017/12/26/the-last-jedi-a-review/

I don't do "trigger warnings." I rate my stories appropriately - even overly-cautiously, in my opinion, but then I'm less sensitive in many areas than many people - but I don't give individual warnings at the beginnings of chapters/stories. You have been warned.

For God so loved the world He gave His one and only Son. For you so loved God that you gave up part of your bio to repost this.

I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in this day and age. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on someone who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, floppyearsthebunny, Narniachick, Elizabeth Zara, Knees, LM2MM, LucianLoveNarnia, Queen of Erebor, biddle29, Brievel

~April 12, 2017 I was joined in Holy Matrimony to my husband and the love of my life~

I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord, Savior, and Redeemer, and could not live without Him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, Mango21, mae2551, DarkHorseBlueSky, Savarra, biddle29, Brievel

You're a Weirdo...

If you hate all the characters your friends love in certain books and movies, would like to slap them, and don't think they're all that attractive (maybe even ugly);

If you have seriously watched a movie with your friends or family and spent the entire time writing a story;

If you talk to yourself, talk to yourself about talking to yourself, and/or talk to yourself as though you are talking to someone else; (Please - I write stories about me talking to myself,)

If you narrate your life in your head (or aloud), usually in third person past tense;

If grammar was your favourite topic in school;

If you are bored when your friends talk about the movies they love;

If you don't have any real friends, or only one;

If you always have at least two tabs up whenever you're on the computer;

If you can spend hours pondering on the possibility of: getting into other people's dreams, finding (and travelling to) the edge of the universe, inventing a robot or computer that can actually think and feel, surviving for two years by lying in one place (Suspended animation!! =D), or something equally as weird and random;

If you talk back to the TV (Me: Hiccup, I am going to push her off the cliff and you can find someone better who actually might deserve you...);

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments;

If you have your own little world;

If you read this profile, and particularly this section;

Then you are a Weirdo. Weirdos need to know that they are not alone. They need to know that there are other people in this world who are every bit as weird as them. If any of the above describe you, copy and paste this into your profile (you can delete the ones that don't apply to you personally...in fact, you can even add your own...go ahead) and add your name to the list. OneSizeFitsAll, biddle29

Fun flies when you’re doing time.

Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark.

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
3. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
5. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
7. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
9. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
11. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
13. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
15. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
17. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
19. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
21. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
23. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
25. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
27. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
29. Swat at flies that don't exist.
31. Tell people that you can see their aura.
33. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
35. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
37. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
39. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
41. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
43. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
45. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
49. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
51. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

If you have a true friend copy this onto your profile.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? On my face, mole removed.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Dents. And scratches. And a hole. None of which are my fault.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? He says not... but he's never in there when I'm asleep unless he is also, so...

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Two Steps From Hell and rock (think Five Finger Death Punch and Imagine Dragons) and Lindsey Stirling and almost anything Nightcored and Bubblegum Pop and techno. I think that's mostly it. Oh, and folk. And Japanese/Naruto soundtrack.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? Either mid-morning or mid-afternoon. During the sunlight, anyway.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? Get this car paid off and a house underway.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? Considering my life wasn't too great before I met him, I really don't know.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? Wedding ring.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5' 10"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? I love tiny spaces. If I can wedge myself into it, I'm going in. (And no, I do not mean that in a dirty way!)

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Only when evil is nearby. And sometimes not even then...

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Myself. I blame the hormones.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? Black Opium (suck it, sister mine.)

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE GENDER? His.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? It was, in fact, on a path at a local park.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? Tea.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Eh. Pineapple. But, it should be noted, I don't like pizza.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Not sure. Maybe a strawberry milkshake from Chick-fil-a.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH? No. -_-

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? My computer education.

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? All that's in the past now.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? No, but I can hyper-extend my elbows.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? At the moment, whoever makes my nursing tops!

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? Yep, one for each of us.

27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Cat for me, Jack Russell for him.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? No. But he's not.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM? It's different from person to person. And our love is too personal to tell.

30. TYPE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 3.14159265359

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Redheads.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Either him or my mother - her to talk to, him to find his phone.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Nags. And being patronized. And being told how to do my job/what to do with my life. Injustice and my total inability to set it right. Social workers/work.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? Nope.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? I overthink. And overworry. And fuss. And am self-demeaning. To an extreme. Also impatient and irritable.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? Politicians.

37. FIRST JOB? ...I think it was Poll Managing.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Not yet. :)

39. DO YOU SWEAR? ...I'm working on it.

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUT? Nursing my son. Before that, giving him a bath.

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? I've lost count of how many times.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? How beautiful I am caring for my baby.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? More's the pity. They are no fun, I'm tellin' ya.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? For it to be forgotten and ignored. C'mon, what woman wants to get older? ;)

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? We're planning on nine. (= Or at least six.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A tree. -_- And a flower. And my mother says she wasn't a hippie...

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No, I but I wish I could go up in a flying saucer. Or an X-wing. How cool would that be? Or even a TIE... or a Super Star Destroyer, or even better, a Dreadnought...

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? It varies. Mostly Suave brand.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? If I make an effort...or as long as I'm not riding in the car...so yes. Although my Aurebesh could use some work.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAT? Currently: steak. Bacon is good too. Actually, even though I'm not a meat person currently just about any meat (excepting chicken) sounds awesome... also, I applaud your British spelling, yay!

52. ANY BAD HABITS? Duh.

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? Don't have any CDs. I have mp3s...

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Dunno. That depends on the behavior of my alter ego...er, this self now...and how often we came into contact. (I encounter my clone...rub some bacon on it!)

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? To judge your personality? Yes. Whether I will like/associate with you? Depends. Whether you're attractive or not? No.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I don't. I bottle it up inside. Yes, I'm aware that's unhealthy.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? This is my temporary home...

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? My Cabbage Patch Kids dolls.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? I dunno. A bunch of irrelevant ones I need to clear out.

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? Not in the slightest.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Of course not, dumb blonde over here way too ditzy to grasp the subtleties of mockery. (Oh and? "Dumb" actually means mute, not stupid. Just sayin'.)

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? My grandmother-in-law's mashed potatoes!!

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Nothing. Jehovah had made it quite clear I was not to be proactive in that regard. And once I got the "trust Him" part down, He dropped him right onto my head, very nearly literally.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Leafy or Leaf, but nobody except my husband gets to call me by it.

67. WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE BAND/SINGER? Plurality, people!! No one has only one answer...and...I'm too lazy to give the full thing...also, you forgot your apostrophe...

68. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOWS? Naruto, Whose Line Is It Anyway

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT SAT SCORE? I know not this drama on Saturday of which you speak... 0_0

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR? Since we get very limited flavors, I am not adequately equipped to accurately answer this question. With my limited data, I'd say cookies'n'cream. But I don't care for ice cream in general.

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? I do. Thank God.

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? I don't know. Too long.

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? On the contrary, there was - it was a choice between mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. Bazinga.

74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 90 miles an hour down a red rock road (and kudos to you if you get it)

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? I don't care.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? "1 Hour of Japanese Spa and Zen Music" by Derek & Brandon Fiechter on YouTube. I strongly recommend their Japanese music to anyone who likes that.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Husband, calling to let me know he's on his way home.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE GENDER? Oh I don't know, I quit noticing the opposite gender when I entered a relationship!

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? Almost anything by Imagine Dragons? And Star Sky, by Two Steps From Hell.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? Abortionists. Go on, look up what happens during abortions, and afterwards. Go on.

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? May, I reckon. Or April. Or March. (Seeing a pattern here?)

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? I don't do that stuff.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR? Blonde. Naturally blonde.

86. EYE COLOR? What is mine, or what is my favorite? *suspicious look* What's with all the personal questions, anyway? Am I being staked out for kidnapping? I promise you don't want to...

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Not keen on fast food, honestly. If I must choose, Chick-fil-a or Seasons of Japan.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? Blurgh. Raw fish. *gags*

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? Dragon Ball Super. I can't believe they left off where they did!!!

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Eh.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? Nah.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Deplorable!

95. KISSES OR HUGS? Unless I know you very well and you have permission, tacit or otherwise, you'd better be very very wary about touching me. I tend to not react well.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? I'm very happy with my marriage, thank you.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Food?

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? My husband and I have a Durango, together...

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? None. :( I finished all my books and am once again aimlessly drifting through the fanfiction community.

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: Married. Working it out but going steady.