--Because of the Heart, I lust for everything about you.

Hi, the name is TheCatWithTheHat, and for now that'll be all. If you dig through my oldest stories I flaunted my real name shamelessly, so have a look if you're really that curious. And leave a review while you're at it!

Or you could just read my reviews. I'm pretty sure that in just 1 review, Jess managed to give away my name, age, AND hometown. Thanks, Jess. -.-"

Some things about me:

One thing I really hate is the 'life is short' philosophy. Like, what the hell. Life is the longest goddamn thing you can do.

I'm old enough to get into a PG-13 movie by myself, but not an R one.

I like to change my appearance as often and dramatically as is humanly possible without crossing the line into plastic surgery.

I want to change my pen name to Schnetzigreuter, but I think at this point in time I'm stuck as I am.

I am a huge band freak! (It is pretty bad!)

I have been accused of having a different obsession with every hour. This...may or may not be true. (?)

I have over 1,000 songs on my iPod and spend every waking moment with headphones on. Music junkie, okay..

When I find some people who have musical talent and ambition I'm going to start a band called What's Their Face. It will be awesome and we'll tour everywhere and play concerts with Jordan Witzigreuter. (Update: I now have a drummer! :D I just need some guitar players...T-T Update 2: My drummer hates me :'D So now I have...nothing. again. ;A;)

My hair hasn't been its natural color for longer than I can remember.

I caught a guitar pick at a We The Kings concert on Van's Warped Tour. :D Also, I caught an All-American Rejects one...and The Ready Set..

This is something that I highly recommend for all original characters: a Mary-Sue test, I encourage you all to take it. (Holly went through it and she came out clean!)

Updates.

4.7.12: Hey gais...I suppose you've probably realized this by now, but officially as of today I am turning my back (temporarily!) on the IchiHime fandom...I love Ulquihime too much. If I'm following any of your Ichihime stories, I'll see 'em through to the end, but I won't be starting any new ones...Sorry! THIS DOES NOT MEAN I SHIP ICHIRUKI! I STILL FIND THAT PAIRING NAUSEATING! I firmly believe that Ichigo belongs with only Orihime but she can go with Ichigo or Ulquiorra...and I'm focusing on Ulquiorra right now. I may change back at any time though, so be waiting with open arms, Ichigo!

7.8.12: What the hell?! Why can't I stop PUBLISHING stuff? I feel like I am a bottle of pop and someone twisted off the lid and I exploded all over the place!! I would be happy for this sudden burst of inspiration but I know LATER this year I'll be SWIMMING in fanfiction and I need to STOP NOW! But I CAN'T! T_T !!! Someone help me!!!!

7.12.12: Finally got a deviantART up and running! I have my covers posted up there, so hit me up! http://

8.4.12: Am right now obsessed with Hatsuharu/Isuzu pairing for Fruits Basket...because I love Haru...and I cried when hearing Rin's past. So yeah. AWWW! "Rin, let's kiss." SO. AWESOME. I want someone to say that to me...:sniffle:

12.4.12: So I'm back! I will be updating everything as soon as possible! Thanks for waiting for so long guys, I know it's been almost 4 months since I did BYF/Forgiven (crai) and I am very, very sorry about that...Also, I decided to do a Christmas-themed Ulquihime drabble collection, so stay on the lookout!

In Progress Stories

Doomed to Remember: This story is so awesome it's beyond words. The lovely moonlightrurouni and I are scheming together as partners in crime. So once you read mine, you have to go read hers. It's a collaboration. :D ULQUIHIME FTW!

Before You Faded: A GrimmNel that takes place while Nel was the 3rd Espada, and deals with things like why Starrk sleeps so much, why Grimm likes destroying things so much, why the Privaron Espada were demoted, ect. ect.

Forgiven: Cross-sequel between Typical Mutant and Please Forgive Me. For the amount of people who said they wanted to read it it seems like a very small amount have. Hoping that will change. :-/

COMPLETED STORIES!! : These are my favorite kind!

love, save the empty: Poem shnizzle. Just a little dilly I did for your pure enjoyment. Ulquihime, of course. x'D

The Max and FANGisodes: I left the last chapter at a good spot to end it and no one was reading it anyway, so...'tis complete.

Ice and Snow Level: BleachXFairy Tail!: I think that's what it's called. PURE CRACK. Fairy Tail/Bleach crossover, in case you can't tell.

it's hard: This popped into my head randomly one day and bounced frantically around until I wrote it on paper...Originally it was just going to be Tatsuki, but then I decided to expand it a bit to include Keigo and Mizuiro.

tattoo: A oneshot for fun. XD not really expecting many people to read it, but what the hell. It's worth a shot.

My Espada Boys: I finished this and the ending was sad as fuck. I'm thinking about doing a drabble collection with the same characters - e.g. the Espadalings - and I will update here when/if that is posted.

Please Forgive Me: Finally done and boy am I glad...jesus that story was dragging me down. Cross sequel w/ TM is now out! Go check it out!

The Fangel Experiment: Again, so glad this story's finally on this list...

Typical Mutant: Finished!! About time too - it was over a year...Sad, but at the same time, kind of like whew, finally.

addiction: So glad that story's finally on this list...

What Remains: Mini Ulquihime oneshot tragedy-type thing that might make weaker-hearted folks cry.. T-T

Lost and Forgotten: Aha, finally done. There won't be a sequel, although I invite anyone who would like to write one to do so. Send me a PM if you do, I'd like to read it!

her hair reminds me of you: Heh heh, kind of a spoiler for Kuchiki's new haircuts. Fun to write but it is a oneshot.

Mr Brightside: Love the song, love Fax. Win/win. Oneshot for Dylan's blood.

A Toast Gone Kablooey: Ahahaha, talk about a blast to write! 2shot, no more - sorry guys!

The Death of Renji Abarai: Not meant to be taken seriously, unless you really feel like it. Oneshot. Companion to Lost and Forgotten

20 Truths: Jeb and Ari: Sad sweet and definitely a oneshot.

20 Truths: Iggy and Fang: Meant for humor and entertainment only! It isn't Figgy and I'm not saying it again. That's just nasty.

Tubing!: Sorry about the OC's, but it couldn't be helped. Oneshot.

Kon's Revenge: Found a typo later - it's Chizuru not Chizuiro. I don't know what I was thinking. :-/ Sorry = Oneshot.

Left Alone: I made this a oneshot, guys. Sorry, I love you, but I hate Angel and will never write anything from her POV.

BETA.

I currently Beta for 3 fabulous stories. If you would like me to Beta something for you, send me a PM or a review letting me know. I'll usually be happy to do it! If I'm not, then, well, no offense, but it means your story sucks.

Alice in Chains by Subtle Serenity - -And that was how Orihime Inoue found herself handcuffed and strung up in Ulquiorra's basement, which was the beginning of what she was sure would be a hardly healthy relationship…

You Take It Off First by Ephere - In which Grimmjow and Ulquiorra attempt to take a shower. Together. With their clothes on.

The All-Powerful Janitor by Cerberus0225 - Who is the 4th seat of the 11th division? Why is such a violent group not living in squalor, but are actually very clean? An answer to the long suffering question. Might add to it later, if people like it.

The Review Revolution...

Even if the fic has 10,002,464 reviews already...
Even if the fic is older than time itself...
Even if it was abandoned a loooooooooooooooooooooong time ago...
Even if the author turned out to be a total psychopath...
Even if the OC is a Sue and the spelling would make a dictionary cry...
I will review every fic I read. What goes around comes around, and more people will review my own fics.
I have joined Review Revolution.

The Flight of the Reader

You'd think we would have had enough
of one another
after all the rain streaming down these windows,
the walks out to the garden when it clears,
the same yellow and white flowers,
all the sleepless nights --
the toy car going in circles on the bed table.

But still, you stay perched on my shoulder,
cricket or bluebird,
wild parrot digging your claws into my loud shirt.

Is it because I do not pester you
with the invisible gnats of meaning,
never release the whippets of anxiety from their crates,
or hold up my monstrous mirror,
a thing the size of a playing field?

Whatever makes you stay,
I hate to think of that morning
when I will wake up to find you gone,
heading toward the open sea,
dragging the cables that bound us together,
leaving me with nothing more to say.

But don't get me wrong.
It's not that I cannot live without you,
cannot sit under an ordinary green tree
with no desire to reach for the pen in my pocket,
or lie contented on a couch all day,
one hand over my mouth.

It's not like I have a crush on you
and instead of writing my five-paragraph essay
I am sailing paper airplanes across the room at you --
It's not that I can't wait for the lunch bell
to see your face again.

It's not like that. Not exactly.

-Billy Collins