Hello everyone! I'm Dragon, it's very nice to meet you. Let's see, I think I should say bit about myself..

Eye color: dark blue

Hair color: almost black

Height: 5' 4"

Ethnicity: Romanian (1/2), Japanese (1/2) yeah, it's a long story ;

Birthday: July 28th

Age: 18

I'm number 6 of my moms 11 children, my older brothers are jerks, and my boyfriend is able to somehow deal with all the crazy people I live with. I'm a mom to the younger kids in my own right and 3 of my brothers and (after mom went psycho & left him) my dad are gay :) I also happen to be a major yaoi addict *giggles* oh! Almost forgot. My personal character Helena Trescott will appear in a guest role or star in my fanfics so be ready for enough crazy to blow your brains out when she shows up. Thank you for reading my stories, please enjoy. *bows politely and smiles*

Well, damn! - Will Smith
We've just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call misdirected rage. I believe the technical term is "being an ass". -Shigure, Fruits Basket
Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the fuck is my ceiling?"
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I am not a humanitarian. I am a hell-raiser.
Procrastinate NOW!
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.
They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
I will temporarily rule the world, forever.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
Lottery: a tax on people who don’t understand statistics.
Main reason Santa is so jolly: because he knows where all the bad girls live
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize.
If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Stop repeat offenders, don't reelect them!
Straight is something crooked that was bent.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
The problem with reality is a lack of background music.
I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
If electricity comes from electrons, does Morality come from Morons?"
Why does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same melody? ...why are you singing both?
Inside me is a skinny woman crying to get out... i can usually shut the bitch up with chocolate
two muffins sitting in an oven. one looks to the other and says, "Boy it's hot in here." and the other says "OH MY GAWD A TALKING MUFFIN!!"
A cannibal gets passed by a marathon runner. he stops and licks his lips, "mmmm fast food."
Death is hereditary.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
When you cry, I will cry; When you laugh, I will laugh, when you jump out a window...I will laugh
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.
oh lord, give me patience. AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Don't steal, the government hates competition
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
If you're not a haemorrhoid...GET OFF MY ASS
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
(Someone boring talking to you) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting"
It takes 82 muscles to frown, and only 5 to reach out and slap the shit out of somebody.
I am a peaceful person that is filled with violent rage.
Be nice to your kids... they pick your nursing home.
I'd make you swear on the bible if it didn't make your skin sizzle.
They say that 99% of ugly-ass people check their messages with their thumb. It's too late- don't switch fingers now!
It takes 82 muscles to frown, and only 3 to stick up you middle finger to tell somebody to fuck off.
A little boy walks past his parents room one night and looks in the keyhole. He then says to himself: "And this bitch gets mad at me because I suck my thumb!"
After great sex, she laid there stroking his penis. He said: do you want some more? She said: "No, I'm just admiring it... I use to have one..."
Cinderella was fired from Disney today. She was found bouncing on Pinnochio's face, screaming, "Lie, you little fucker, lie!"
Mickey and Minnie went to court where Donald was the judge. Donald asked Mickey, "Why are you her today?" Mickey replies, "She's cheating on me." Donald says, "Well, why do you think so?" Mickey looks at Minnie who's giggling (hehehe) and says, "Look at her! She's fucking Goofy!"
Guy: What did you say?
Girl: Well, what did you think you hear?
Guy: I'd rather not repeat it...
Girl : Well then, we'll never learn what it was will we?
Keep hope alive and laugh all the time. People might think your psycho after that, but who gives a flying flip? Besides, I can't please them all.
The road to success is always under construction.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
All generalizations are false, including this one.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
I love when people use the term "we're expecting" when they talk about pregnancy, it makes it sound like there could me multiple outcomes. Yeah, we're expecting a baby. But it could be an elephant.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
I do my best proofreading right after I hit send.
Some people just need a high five... in the face... with a chair.
Dear Girls who take profile pictures in the bathroom, I'm taking a dump in the stall behind you. Sincerely, Don't forget to tag me!
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what's your plan? Sincerely, not very well thought out.
That mini heart attack when you miss a step on the stairs.
If women ruled the world, there would be no wars... Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield, it said 'Parking Fine'.
Dear math, I'm not a therapist. solve your own problems.
Dear life, when I said can my day get any worse...it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Anything related to Halloween doesn’t scare me. What scares me is when I flush someone else's toilet and the water keeps rising.
Don't get mad when your neighbour has loud music on at 2 am. Call him up at 4 am and tell him how much you loved it.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
The next time someone says "Paper beats Rock" I will throw a rock at their face while they hold up a sheet of paper.
"Would you like a table?".. "No I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, carpet for five please".
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run away, death really hates that.
I am not retreating, I am advancing in a different direction!
Boys are like Slinkys, pointless but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk but they spend the other half telling us to sit down and shut up!
I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I’m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"
I don’t understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens? If I’m trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.
When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door.
I hate weddings. Old people would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, "You're next".

Things to do at Walmart:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
17. Hide in the bathroom stall, & when someone opens the door, say, "Welcome to Narnia."

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

121Things I am NOT allowed to do at Hogwarts (but totally would if i went)

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.

5. I will not go to class skyclad.

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.

13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall

17. Or anywhere else for that matter.

18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

29. I do not weight the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

32. I will not kiss Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.

38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.

53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.

54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones".

56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".

57. The Malfoys are not Draka.

58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword.

59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.

60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.

61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.

63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird".

66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

67. -Or any other Slytherin.

68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.

70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.

71. -I am not a Professor, at all.

72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

74. -It was not an honest mistake.

75. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.

77. -Or the teacher laundry.

78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.

79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.

80. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present.

82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.

83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.

84. -Charming the label does not change anything.

85. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.

86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.

87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.

88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.

89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.

90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

91. -Testing this last is not funny.

92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

93. May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.

95. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

96. May not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor or Slytherin House in Harry Potter's Year are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true.

97. I am not possesed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth.

98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.

99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.

100. -Especially if I can't.

101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."

102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.

107. I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.

108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.

109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

110. House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."

114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."

117. Neville is not my valet.

118. When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."

119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.

121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

HARRY POTTER OATH

I promise to remember Harry Each time I see lightning

And I promise to remember Ron When I see red hair that's blinding

I promise to obey school rules For Hermione's sake of course

And I promise to remember Malfoy When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Ginny Whenever I see an adoring fan

And I promise to remember Neville When someone says no, but they say 'I can'

I promise to remember Luna Whenever I see the moon

And I promise to remember Fred and George When I see someone acting like a loon

I promise to remember Dumbledore When I see someone with long, grey hair.

And I promise to remember Molly When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Tom Riddle Whenever I am scared

And I promise to remember Hedwig When someone says 'I have always cared'

Yes I promise to love Harry Potter Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Potter fans know.

Harry Potter isn't an obsession...

it's a way of life you know..