SERIOUSLY PEOPLE IF IT'S NOT ABOUT STORIES DON'T PM ME I WILL BLOCK YOU!!!

I am SO DONE with spam. I'm not interested in using this site for anything but reading, writing, reviewing, and communicating with other authors about writing. Do you see 'finding a relationship' on there? No? So stop spamming me saying you're looking for one!!

P. S. Spammers, did you know you look really idiotic if you PM a GIRL: 'I'm looking for a relationship with a nice guy, contact me here if you're interested'?

Teaser for my novel (want to help me choose a title? Vote up there, please! /\):

"Some might think Alli Vínteré has it all. She's an elven princess, and a wizard with a unicorn familiar. Her best friend, puck Rin, also happens to be her platonic soulmate. But there's a catch to everything. The unicorn is bitingly sarcastic. Her magic could kill her at any time. And her crown doesn't do her any good when her soulmate's been kidnapped.

Alli already knows she has to find Rin. When she begins having nightmares of Rin's death, she senses they're not just dreams. If she isn't fast enough, they could become reality."

Thanks to everyone who has already voted on the poll! Currently, "Moondark" is the most popular, with 25% of votes; "Finding Rin" and "Set in Stone" are tied for second. That means that for now, when I send out query letters, "Moondark" will be the working title. Voters, thank you so much for your time!

(It's good to know that "The Sorcerer's Tower," the most 'classic fantasy' title in that list, is also the least popular. XD Shows what title generators know!)

CAUTION: If you review, follow, or favorite any of my stories, I will visit your profile, almost certainly read anything you've written in a fandom I like, and quite possibly review it. You have been warned.

Fun facts:

If I read a Harry Potter story featuring any Malfoy, my brain automatically reads the rating as M. Why? Because up in the bit with the summary, it says, for example, "Draco M." Then I have to look for the actual rating.

Somebody who studies insects is called an entomologist.

The blue-ringed octopus has enough venom to kill 26 people.

The difference between venom and poison is, poison is when you bite it and you die. Venom is when it bites you and you die. (I haven't yet figured out which one it is when you touch it and you die. But stinging counts as biting.)

I can be very morbid.

Dear Readers,

When I took Government Rhetoric, my teacher told me never to write an essay with "I," "I think," or anything of the sort, because "no one cares what you think." And I was perfectly happy with that. People not caring what I think feels safe. It doesn't matter what I think, because no one cares.

Then I discovered the world of fanfiction. In fandom, everyone cares what you think. What I think. That feels like it should be scary. But it's not. It's terrifying when people IRL want to read what I've written. But on here, somehow it's not.

People I have never and probably will never meet care about me. They read what I've written. They comment on it, they like it. You (hopefully) like it.

I don't like talking about my goals. It feels like then, I'll have to attain them to succeed. Whenever I'm asked things like "do you plan to go to college" or "what do you want to do with your life" I usually shrug and say "I don't know."

That's a lie. I do know. I just don't like talking about it. But maybe, if I write them down, if I tell them to someone, they'll be more real. But I don't feel like I can tell anyone I actually know. That's where you come in. You, Mysterious Profile Reader I Know Nothing About, most likely have never met me in real life. You'll never know, unless I tell you, whether or not I achieve my goals. You might not even care, and I like not knowing if you would (so please don't tell me).

I do plan to go to college in fall 2021. I don't know what college yet, but I will update this when I do. I plan to study veterinary medicine and physics, if I can. Lasers are fascinating.

I also plan to be a published author. I am working toward publishing my first novel, working title Moondark (see above poll), about a wizard apprentice who goes on a quest to find her kidnapped best friend. Let me know if you'd be interested in reading/betaing it!

In ten years, I hope to be a published author/successful veterinarian or physicist. Haven't decided between those last two yet, but I'm definitely going to publish under the same name I use here. I'll update this when my first novel has a release date.

Thanks for reading my stories. Please leave a review on your favorite when you have a moment-- it always brightens my day.

Love, Alyce

P. S. Yeesh, that sounds depressing. It's not SUPPOSED to. Oops.

Alyce's Rules

Just a few things that apply to all/most of my stories, unless I specifically state otherwise. A promise about what you can expect from me.

Orientation will not differ from canon/implication, except in oneshots like "Not My Ship" and stories written before a character's orientation became clear (like IT TALKS!)

No non-canon-possible powers. (In crossovers, powers get mixed too!)

No intentional OOC, unless crack, and probably not even then.

Nothing that defies both the laws of physics and the laws of the story world, unless a), I'm making a point or b), crack.

Nothing higher than T.

No f- or b-words (no, not fluffy and biscuit; you know which ones I mean), and minimal profanity in general.

Implied swearing anywhere it can fit.

Gud speling and prop'er pun!ctuation.

Humor. ALWAYS. Somewhere. (Even in dark angsty fics.) [except maybe in 1k word oneshots]

The romance. So much of the romance and the implied romance and the subtext and the EVERYTHING because I love ALL THE SHIPS.

NOTICE

I use the pairing feature differently from most people. If you see [Character A, Character B] or [Character A, Character B, Character C] on one of my stories, it does nor necessitate a romantic pairing. I am just as likely to use it to mean a platonic pairing, a love triangle, or even a pair of enemies. You have been warned.

For your information...

It's incredibly annoying when people say, "blah blah blah, true story, person killed and their ghost will kill you if you don't copy and paste this story". First point, why the hex would a ghost know or care if you've read/copy-pasted the story? Second, I read one of those when I was a kid, didn't copy-paste, and lay awake every night for weeks scared that I wouldn't wake up in the morning. If you copy-paste these stories, sooner or later it will get to a kid who reads too much fantasy, who will lie awake terrified that they'll never wake up. You can say it's their fault for being gullible, but you might say that if a kid gets hit by a car it's their fault for being stupid enough to run into the road. I grew up on a steady diet of fantasy and myths. Two of my grandparents are scientists. Logic and imagination often go to war inside me, but in the dark, imagination usually wins. If you scare a kid who has too much imagination (and will probably become a writer), that's on you.

I despise copy-paste things that say "if you don't copy-paste this you don't love your mom" or something similar. I love my mom, but I see no need to prove it by doing something idiotic, such as copy-pasting something she will probably never see onto my profile. I don't need to prove anything other than my writing ability to people on this site. The only one I need to prove my love for my mom to is my mom, and let me tell you, I have four siblings and all of us affirm daily in various ways to our mom that we love her.

Anything that tells me to copy-paste rubs me the wrong way. Why should I, just 'cause you say? What if I don't feel like it? What if I think the copy-paste is not something I want on my profile? As of November 19, 2019, I have never copy-pasted something onto my profile from anything else on this site. I don't care to change that. Nothing I've seen is worth my time, especially the things that say "if you don't copy-paste this, you don't care". How do you know? Maybe I'm an activist against child abuse or abortion in real life. You don't know me. You don't know if I care. Maybe I don't copy-paste because I simply don't feel like it, or have better things to do with my time.

If you post a hate review, flames, or unnecessary profanity (is profanity ever necessary?), even if it's not to one of my stories or even to a story I like, you have already lowered my opinion of you. Think about it. You did something of no benefit to yourself, something that only hurt people's feelings. You wrote cruel words, secure in the fact that you have a pen name like "iamthebest" (completely random example I made up), for no reason other than to hurt someone. Also, you're probably incorrect, and most likely using extremely bad grammar. Why did you do it? All it does is put a little more cruelty into a world full of it. If you think for just five minutes, you could come up with a way to articulate what it is you don't like about the story without hurting anyone or using profanity. Five minutes, and you could put kindness into the world rather than cruelty. Think about this. That's all I ask.

Feel free to copy-paste any of the things in this list above. But...only if you feel like it AND you agree. If you do, please PM me so I I know someone shares my feelings. Thank you.

November 21, 2019: This is the first thing I've copy-pasted from someone's profile (Crystalstorm's). I've altered it slightly to reflect my own experiences (and fit my no-guilt-trip policy).

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as religious teachings became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense was put on life support when the U.S. government decided it was entirely permissible to ship preservative-full junk food between countries, but transporting fresh, unpasteurized, whole, healthy milk between two U.S. states was out of the question. There was an allowable amount of rat droppings in food meant for human beings, but an incredible amount of red tape in order for organic farmers to sell directly to their customers.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on (if you feel like it). If not, do nothing.

RIP. We shall remember him.

Polls

There will always be a poll up there /\. Maybe it'll be about my fanfictions, maybe my original stories, maybe something else entirely. Any way, I'd appreciate it if you'd take a few seconds and vote. (Bonus: it makes me more likely to write, if I see reviews on my stories or votes on the poll!)

My stories

These are all the stories I'm working on. If you'd like to beta anything, please PM me! If you have any opinions on which one/s I should work on most, vote on the poll up there! / (All stories on hiatus or rare updates while I prepare my novel for Pitch Wars and up to seven oneshots for Zutara Week.)

Completed fanfictions (not necessarily completely posted)/published original novels

Authority. Miraculous. Hawk Moth akumatizes the wrong teenage American.

One Day. Miraculous. An akuma doesn't exit the possessed object.

Fanfictions (vote for your favorite, and it'll bump it up on my to-do list!) (mostly on hiatus while I prepare my novel for Pitch Wars)

Reincarnation. Harry Potter/Phantom of the Opera/Romeo and Juliet/Camelot. Draco Malfoy remembers his past lives as Erik, Paris, and Arthur- and his soulmate who hates him. (Not yet discontinued, but on hiatus.)

IT TALKS! Wings of Fire/How to Train Your Dragon. Eight Pyrrhian dragons encounter a TALKING SCAVENGER. (Not discontinued, though updates are few and far between atm.)

Lila's Story. Miraculous. Lila's backstory. (Close to being discontinued, but I'm still giving it a chance. Review if you want it to stay up! Saved thanks to Bella2be, though on hiatus.)

Ladybug's Joke. Miraculous. Ladybug decides to test Chat's conviction that they're soulmates. Updated the most frequently of all my fanfics.

Miraculous Benders. Miraculous/Avatar: The Last Airbender. The Gaang and others get Miraculous. (Updates are rare, but do happen.)

Chat Is In Heaven. Miraculous/Xanth. Semi-sequel to Ladybug's Joke. Ladybug and Chat fall into Xanth, which Chat, of course, adores. (Does not update frequently yet, but updates should go up once I finish "Ladybug's Joke".)

Fire and Water. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Complete series AU. On his quest to capture the Avatar, Prince Zuko accidentally captures a mermaid sworn to protect the Avatar at all costs. (Updates may be slow, but they're coming!)

Not My Ship. Miraculous. A writing exercise where I write any and all Miraculous ships, particularly the ones I dislike. (Updates at least once every 3 weeks, unless I'm on hiatus or REALLY busy with homework.)

Dedanan. Miraculous/my original novel. Ten Parisian children vanish, into a world with very different magic from theirs.

Secret projects. I'm working on a couple stories I don't want to share until they're done. If you want to see them sooner, vote for the "secret project" option on the poll. Once I've posted the first chapter of a secret project, I'll put it here and on the poll, and updates will hopefully be regular.

If you're interested in beta'ing anything I've written, fanfiction or original, please PM me! I'll get back to you ASAP. If you'd like a beta for your fanfiction, please take a look at my beta profile to see if it would be a good fit. If you'd like a beta for your original work, please check out my FictionPress profile. Best of luck with finding a beta you work well with!

Thanks for reading!