Hey, here's some info on me (though it’s really lame, but anyway, onwards we shall go-eth) . . .

Name: Xena Craig (pronounced Zee-na)

Age: 18

d. o. b: 12 September 1993

Sex: if you don't know by now, then I'm not telling you. Hint: look at my profile picture. (She’s a girl ;D - Ruth)

Eye/hair colour: brown. My hair can take on a life of its own some - most - of the time so it is always tied up.

Favourite movies:9, Zombieland, Harry Potter 1-6 (so far), Disturbia, Friday the 13th, The descent, The prince of Persia, The Last Airbender (I haven't finished S.1, so I watched it as a new movie, and not a live action of a cartoon), etc.

TV shows: Bones, How I met your mother, True blood, Supernatural, House MD, Grey's Anatomy. CSI (Vegas and New York, haven't seen the others), Dexter, Haven, Nikita, Misfits, Warehouse 13, Psych, Fringe, NCIS etc.

Animes: , Dragonball Z/GT/Kai, Inuyasha (manga and anime), Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Full Metal Panic s. 1 and 2, DN Angel (manga and anime), Ouran High Host Club, Shuga Chara, Zero no Tsukaima (manga), Naruto (well, the 35 episodes I've managed to get my hands on were good, anyway), Tenjou tenge, Bleach, Black cat, Soul Eater, Fairy Tail and a lot more but if I listed them all, we would be here all day. (Plus, I can't remember them all right now...this goes for all 3 topics.)

Hobbies: reading, writing (no duh, why else would I have joined fanfiction? I think you need your brain scanned. Doc, get that MRI ready!) And watching anime

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Name: Ruth

Nicknames: RutheLa/Italia (also known as account-hacker, as evidenced by her bio showing up without me knowing... - Xena)

Age: 6 October 1993

Appearance: Tall with short, self-cut, massively-dyed hair, blue and orange spectacles and green eyes.

Other: Art and titbits can be found here:

Bio: Rather tall, and on the whole, a bit strange.
She has written all the stories on this account so far.

Ha ha, Xena. All your fanfiction are belong to me. (Would you bloody stop hacking into my account, unless it's to post another chapter! And only for posting, damn you! - Xena)

1. You start laughing hysterically at maps
2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together
3. You've learned more history (Austria-Hungary Compromise, WWII) from it than from an actual history class. (Hetalia flagellates history.)
4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96...with supporting screenshots
5. You watch APH MADs (Music videos/parodies)
6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs.
7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween.
8. World War II starts sounding romantic.
9. Your teacher asks why you put "Alfred F. Jones" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Arthur" beside it.
10. You yell "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America. ("Fuck Yeah" actually)
11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation. (NEVER. EVER. EVER)
12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one. (Most, and I was way before Hetalia.)
13. You shudder every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder...just in case.
14.Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Pastaaaaaaaaa!!" down the hallway.
15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "FrUK" means.
16. You end every sentence with "aru".
17. You scream 'paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa' every time you happen to have some.
18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia.
19. You want Prussia back on the map.
20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face.
21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia.
22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic.
23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute.
24. You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like...80s billion time.
25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand.
26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic.
27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday. (I remember them both. I'm neither.)
28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones.
28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny.
29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia.

EXTRA INFO ON STORIES:

Mein Schutzengel - Il Mio Protettore (My Guardian - My Protector)

This is the dress worn in chapter three: http:///art/Lady-In-Red-227252819

Fun facts:
It was Sophia's funeral.
I spent weeks seeing if someone could survive gutshot.

The Fireman's Arms

(Named after a bar near where I (Ruth) live.)

This is the song from chapter one (hofuckthisisembarrasing//shot//):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DKG29KVZsA&feature=g-upl&cG2647dfcAUAAAAAAAAAA

Just Dance:

Cover pic: http:///tumblr_mb8cfrt2hR1romtn1o1_1280.jpg

The Prince Bride

Fanart by spacedrunk: http:///image/34751189904

Fics In The Pipeline:

1. House Rules

Multi-pairing. A collection of one-shots and drabbles relating to some not entirely successful sexual escapades on the nations’ parts. Also entitled ‘My Hair Is Not A Toy’

2,3 and 4 are complete.

5. Siren Song

Multi-chapter of as yet undecided pairings. (Possible FrUK/Franada and UKUS) Pirate AU. Captain Kirkland is determined to catch himself a mermaid. He ends up with who teenagers on his crew and a French merman in his cargo hold.

6. War Lover

Platonic pairing only. OS. Matthew Williams, a Canadian mechanic working on planes in England during WWII, idolises the American flying ace. But when he comes face to face with his hero, he’s not all that the Canadian imagined him to be, and he’s certainly no hero.

7. Nothing But The Truth

USUK, FrUK and AmeCan. Multi-chapter. Who would have thought that substituting eye of salamander for eye of newt could have upped the power of that truth spell quite so much? Instead of just knowing when he’s being lied to, Arthur can now hear the thoughts of the nations around him, and he doesn’t always like what he hears.

8. Got Beef?

USUK One shot. In the same vein as The Imperative Reflexive. Arthur is … curious about the second players. Freddie in particular, and Alfred is supremely unhappy about this. But Arthur is more persuasive than James Bond.

9 is complete.

10. A Hunting We Shall Go

Multi Chap AmeCan. Alfred and Matthew get sent to summer camp, the councillors get confused, the boys get into a fight, and they get sent off to the isolation cabin to kiss and make up. Literally, though that probably wasn’t the original intention. Having fallen madly in teenage love, they are abruptly informed by their startled parents that they’re not only brothers, but twins. Like the Parent Trap, only Arthur and Marianne don’t get back together but Matt and Al do.

11. In The Dark Of The Night

Germancest One Shot. When West can’t deal, East steps in.

12. Time To Play Pretend

FrUK. One Shot. Maybe. One little slip of the tongue is enough to change a relationship based on years of supposedly mutual hatred.

13. Teach Me Too

Franada multi-chapter. Title subject to change. Francis Bonnefoy has been given the dubious pleasure of attempting to bestow his mother tongue on Alfred Jones for the second year in a row, seeing as how he failed it last year. Not only that, but he also has to deal with his younger brother Matthew, which is neither as easy nor as difficult as it’s cracked up to be.

14. I Hate You

AmeCan One shot. Probably. Musings on the parts of the different players as to their alternate selves. Inspired loosely by The Sick Puppies’ “I Hate You”- I hate you when you’re gone, I hate you turn me on, I hate the way I need you when I don’t know where you are.

15. Gift fic for Nanihoo

CanKraine oneshot for the Queen of CanKraine. Based on her barbarian AU.

XENA's COPY PASTE THINGS

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

.:X:.

Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed. When Disney World was the best place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad or you had a bad day, you could just run to mommy and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter. When everyone always lives happily ever after.

.:X:.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. When you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away.

.:X:.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

.:X:.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (Perfect Kinsey three, actually - Ruth)
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. (Only the hot ones - Ruth)
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve. (Very :3 - Ruth)
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer. (We also sacrifice cats - Ruth)
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass.
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual.
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy.
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
I listnen to ALTERNATIVE MUSIC, so I must be EMO. (Yeah. But I listen to everything else, too - Ruth)

STEREOTYPES SUCK! Copy, paste & add.

.:X:.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,
instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize...
I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it,
I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you
instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

If you are one of the many that think that the bitches get what's coming to them and that any member of the population too thick to realise what was going on needs to be culled for the good of humanity; ignore it and get on with your life - Ruth

DISCLAIMER

Neither of us own Inuyasha
If Ruth owned Hetalia, USUK wouldn't even exist as a possible pairing. FranceXCanada forever.
(Cuz she's a cow, the only reason she even writes that pairing is because she loves me and I make her. - Xena)
If Xena owned Hetalia it would be porn from start to finish. (You bet. =_= - Xena)
But that would probably happen either way ;P
(Ruth would like you to know that she corrects Xena's grammar and spelling.)