For anyone wondering, the baby in my avatar is my son, Raphael.

Update: 16Jun12 I'm still not writing, life has taken a rapid turn of events, I'm currently raising my son, and I'm generally happy; writing was an outlet for my depression. Maybe one day I'll resume writing, but for now, enjoy what I have.

[under construction]

Assume whatever you want about me, but chances are, you're not even close to being right.

[I Am:
[analytical]
[anxious]
[awkward]
[compulsive]
[curious]
[cynical]
[dramatic]
[a freak]
[a misanthrope]
[obsessive]
[an outcast]
[a pacifist]
[a perfectionist]
[pessimistic]
[random]
[sarcastic]
[self-aware]
[thoughtful]
[timid]

My son Raphael Jordan
Date of Birth: February 17, 2012
Time of Birth: 8:42 AM
Birth Weight: 7lbs 2.5oz
Birth Length: 22in

Rest in Peace, Jecht
December 2nd,1991- March 26th, 2009

Rest in Peace, Mary
May 19th, 1956-January 11th, 2010

Quotes:

Squee's father: "I'm busy right now. Working. That's all I seem to do now. I have to work to keep you alive. To feed you. I haven't smiled once since you were born. Go to sleep." Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Johnny: "Hmm? What's that, Shmee? Mm, hmmm. Yeeess. Hmm? Yeah. Really? Uh, huh. Okay. What? Hmm. Well FUCK you, Mr. Bear! You speak lies! LIIIIES! Stuffed with pure venom, you vile lint-infested bastard! How many more, like you, are there! How many more! You can't even imagine the things I've endured! And at the hands of shit like you! You don't know the truth!" Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Noodle Boy: "Fucking doughnut! Mock me? You fried cyclops." Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Noodle Boy: "Nonsensical? Yet you envy me! You wish to wipe my ass! Butter my groin! Hermaphroditic monkeys, you speak with fools' tongues! That's a nice tie." Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Noodle Boy: "Run! Piggy, piggy! Ruuuun, piggy, piggy, piggy!" Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Noodle Boy: "You fucking toaster! You're nothing! That's all you'll ever be! A toaster! Damn! I have no kiwis!" Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Stewardess: "Hello, sir. Would you like some peanuts?"
The guy: (nervously) "Oh... No thank you."
Stewardess: (slightly angry) "What, you think these are some ordinary PEANUTS?! HUH?!"
Stewardess: (yelling) "THESE ARE MAGICAL PEANUTS, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!! NOW EAT THE GODDAMNED PEANUTS!!" Squee

Old Lady: (in shock) "OH MY GOD!! Not the Lawn Gnome!!"
Noodle Boy: "You is my Elf-Ho!!" Squee

Some Random Guy: "OH, MY GOD!! SOMEBODY PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS!!" Squee

Pepito: (pushes Squee away) "Stand back, Amigo!! This is a job for... The ANTI-CHRIST!" Squee

A Baby: "Googli-shmoogly. Gaga ga po dffft! Goo goo boop! Pooo oooh!"
Noodle Boy: "GASP! The fuckin PASSWORD!" Squee

Jhonen: (bursts to convenience store door) "Stand back mortal! I come in peace! Approach me, however, and I shall destroy all that is good in your life!! I desire ICE SUCKY!" Squee

Johnny: "Two nights ago, I was taking a walk at night, and this little chihuahua started following me!! GODDAMMIT!! IT KNEW!! I ran, and finally lost it, and made it home!! BUT IT KNEW!! IT KNEWWWW!! Did the DOG SEND YOU?!" Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

Ororon: "Don't cry, my dear. Until your dying day, I'll be at your side. Until you're body lies dissolving in a rotting heap... ...and melts back into the soil whence it came. Dry your tears. I'm here now." The Demon Ororon

Ororon: "What's the matter? You're wondering where all of this blood came from. You wonder why I have to fight. You wonder why I have to kill. You wonder how much longer you can live with such a monster. You wonder how someone as just as you... ... can love someone absolutely evil." The Demon Ororon

An angel: "There is no god. The only things that truly exist are children. But that's hardly any existence. They're lucky to endure handful of years. And they waste away that time stumbling through foolish things." The Demon Ororon

Gaara: "Yeah... I'm going to rip his head off... Then crack it open so the
brains come out... Huh? The head. Then tons of blood will flow out.. You can have all
of it... Kyahaha. I'm always a good boy." Naruto

Random Whore: (to Sakano) "Hey, big boy, are you all alone? Hmmm?
Sakano: (freaking out) "No, thank you! No, thank you!"
Random Whore: "If you've got time, wanna play?"
Sakano: (yet again, freaking out) "NOOOOOO!"
Yuki: "Hey, that's MY guy you're messing with. Get your face out of my honey pot!"
Random Whore: (disgusted like; at Sakano and Yuki) "Oh, you guys... ...Are like that, eh?"
Yuki: "Yeah, so step off, bitch, before I kick your tits in!" Gravitation

Yuki: (forcing the words out/ reading cue cards) "Th--there's nothing going on between me and Seguchi. I-I'm sorry for hurting your lame ass... I mean, I'm sorry for hurting you... ...H-Honey bunch."
Shuichi: (in shock...)
Yuki: (reading cue cards)"So, I want you to come back into my arms. I-I want you... I need you..."
Shuichi: (crying in joy) "Yuki..."
Yuki: (reading cue cards) "I'm sorry for expecting you to come back just because I showed up. And I shouldn't have given up so fast. There are so many things I owe you an apology for, where do I begin?"
Yuki: (reading cue cards) "I may be a writer, but in life, I'm a man of few words. I'm sorry. I'm learning, and I'm getting better. And that's why I'm here to apologize. M-My lovely... baby..."
Yuki: (not reading cue cards) "GAH! Do you really expect me to say that?"
Shuichi: (confused over his lover's random outburst) "Huh? Y-Yuki!"
Yuki: (still not reading cue cards) "AGHHH! STOP MOVING, YOU STUPID PRICK! IF YOU MOVE AGAIN YOU'RE DEAD!"
Shuichi: "Uh... Oh... I'm sorry...?"
Yuki: "AND LOWER YOUR FAT HEAD MORE! I CAN'T SEE THE SIGN, GODDAMMIT!"
Yuki: (back to reading cue cards; adjusts glass before doing so) "Let's see... My lovely baby Shuichi. I didn't stop to think about your feelings. If you're willing to forgive me, if you still love me, please come back to me, sugarcakes."
Shuichi: "Yuki... I... I never thought I would ever hear those words come from your mouth. It's like a dream come true."
Yuki: "Oh... This is no dream, sweetcheeks. I-I'm apologizing to you from the bottom of my rotten heart."
Shuichi: (in tears) "Yuki... I... Yuki... I've been waiting for so long... ...To hear you speak this way... ...To open your heart... And now... We've finally made an emotional connection..."
Rage: "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT! Gravitation

Real Life Quotes

Me: "THE ONLY PERSON SASUKE WILL BE FUCKING IN THE ASS IS SASUKE!" (Okay, this comment was because I was talking with my friend, Arechan, and my brother while watching Naruto, and, well, I thought I said "The only person Sasuke will be fucking in the ass is Naruto", but, Naruto was replaced with Sasuke.)

Justin: (waveing to the females around him) "Heh heh heh. Look at all the babes around me; I'm a pimp."
Me:"And yet you're still poor."

Me Father: (driving past Taco Bell on Thanksgiving) "They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Mexico. You have no right to be closed!" Heheheh! Yerp. Isn't he great? Scene? We were looking for food. We had planned on getting KFC, but the Colonel was closed , so we had decided on Wendy's, and you have to past Taco bell to get to both Wendy's and KFC. It was quite funny.)

Me: (via MySpace) " I want a Death Note. But instead of a list of names, I'll put a list of foods I want eliminated from this world. BWUAHAHA! I am the FOOD KIRA!"
My best friend, Alex: (in response, via MySpace) ""Oh no! All of the avocados in the world have been destroyed by a mysterious drought!"
"Yes... everything's going..." head turn and dramatic music "JUST AS PLANNED." "