[UPDATE!]

Dear Readers: I suck as a person. I am bad with deadlines. I am bad at focusing. At this point you should just be really lucky I finished a trilogy. Basically, I'm still writing (mostly niffbastian sexytimes and a lot of niff and niffbastian d/s?). Any and all updates on my writing not published below can be found either here and/or here

Really sorry! But you can also find my new story ideas there and you can send me messages there (or PMs here) begging me to work on a specific one. I don't bite, I promise.

Samantha.

Okay, hi, my name is Samantha. I'm in still college. I'm twenty-one now. And I can drink. (Really? Yes.)
I swear I'm going to update my stories again. (Really? Yes.)
I'm a sucker for anything non-canonical, as you can tell... (Really? Yes.)
I finally have a canon OTP again! (Really? Well... Niff is canon, right?)
I invented the pairing of Jimara (Jimmie and Tiara). (Really? Yes.)
And I can prove it. See date stamp from story "Saturday Night Drabbles":

I have officially invented this pairing of Jimara. The first official post, today, on 8-29-08, even though I technically invented it on Monday, the 25th, in a different story of mine...

Case in point. Moving on.

Public Service Announcement: On this day, 5.28.2012, I started watching Glee, and I must say: OMG KLAINE KLAINE KLAINE KLAINE. Even though nothing will replace Tryan as my OTP, Klaine is a very close second, right along with Drarry.

Edit 12.11.2012: HOLY SHIT where has Seblaine been my entire life? SEBLAINE. Can't decide if my official OT3 would be Sebastian/Blaine/Kurt or Sebastian/Blaine/Hunter. It's a close one.

Edit 01.03.2014: Niff. Niff is my OTP, Niffbastian is my OT3. That is everything you need to know about me.

Oh, yeah, and my hard drive died in September 2012 and I lost EVERYTHING. So bear with me here. All High School Musical stories are on infinite hiatus until I come up with 1200 dollars to get my hard drive recovered.

I also, while I was caving into peer pressure, made a tumblr: http:///

Important Likes of the Moment:
Niff - Nick Duval/Jeff Sterling (Glee) 36 stars
Trebeats? - Trent Nixon/Beats (Glee) 23 stars
Tryan - Troy Bolton/Ryan Evans (HSM) 5 stars
Klaine - Kurt Hummel/Blaine Warbler Anderson (Glee) 4 stars
Drarry - Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (HP) 5 stars
Hummelberry - Kurt Hummel/Rachel Berry (Glee) OH GOD I'M GOING TO HELL 5.5 stars
Seblaine - Sebastian Smythe/Blaine Anderson (Glee) 5.5 stars
Huntbastian - Hunter Clarington/Sebastian Smythe (Glee) 7 stars
Basically just Hunter or Sebastian in general (Glee) 19 stars
Literally anything with Nick, Jeff, Trent, or my Warbler babies in it Infinity stars

Other Likes:
Jimara - Jimmie Zara/Tiara Gold (HSM) 5 stars
Ryella - Ryan Evans/Gabriella Montez (HSM) 4 stars
Chaylor - Chad Danforth/Taylor McKessie (HSM) 5 stars
Zekepay - Zeke Baylor/Sharpay Evans (HSM) 4 stars
Chustin - Chuckie Brown/Justin Case (HSMish) 5 stars
Jakella – Jacob Black/Bella Swan (Twilight) 5 stars
Lacob – Jacob Black/Leah Clearwater (Twilight) 5 stars
Jedward – Jacob Black/Edward Cullen (Twilight) 4 stars
Chair – Chuck Bass/Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl) 5 stars
Serenate – Nate Archibald/Serena van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl) 3 stars
Natessa – Nate Archibald/Vanessa Abrams (Gossip Girl) 4 stars
Lufus - Rufus Humphrey/Lily van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl) 4 stars
Zaddie - Zack Martin/Maddie Fitzpatrick(Suite Life) 5 stars
Traddie - Trevor/Maddie Fitzpatrick(Suite Life) 4 stars
Carbara - Cody Martin/Barbara Brownstein (Suite Life) 4 stars
Shmitchie - Shane Gray/Mitchie Torres (Camp Rock) 3 stars
Loliver - Oliver Oken/Lilly Truscott (Hannah Montana) 5 stars
Niley - Nick Jonas/Miley Stewart (Hannah Montana) 3 stars
Lashley - Lucas Grabeel/Ashley Tisdale (Real Life) 4 stars
Mondler - Monica Geller/Chandler Bing (Friends) 5 stars
Lobsters - Ross Geller/Rachel Greene (Friends) 5 stars
Cobras - Joey Tribbiani/Rachel Greene (Friends) 5 stars
Phooey - Joey Tribbiani/Phoebe Buffay(Friends) 4 stars
Phike - Mike Hanigan/Phoebe Buffay (Friends) 4 stars
Chanice - Chandler Bing/Janice Litman Goralnik nee Hosenstein (Friends) 5 stars
Chanoey - Chandler Bing/Joey Tribbiani (Friends) 5 stars
Ronica - Richard Burke/Monica Geller (Friends) 4 stars
Phisabella - Phineas/Isabella (Phineas and Ferb) 5 stars
Jandace - Jeremy/Candace (Phineas and Ferb) 4 stars
Jelliot - JD/Elliot (Scrubs) 5 stars
Frevan - Evan Chambers/Frannie Morgan (GREEK) 4 stars
Caspie - Cappie/Casey Cartwright (GREEK) 5 stars
Naley - Nathan Scott/Haley James Scott (OTH) 4 stars
Leyton - Lucas Scott/Peyton Sawyer (OTH) 5 stars
Jeyton - Jake Jagelski/Peyton Sawyer (OTH) 5 stars
Brouth - Mouth McFadden/Brooke Davis (OTH) 5 stars
Pathan - Nathan Scott/Peyton Sawyer (OTH) 5 stars
Brase - Chase Adams/Brooke Davis(OTH) 5 stars
Chraley - Chris Keller/Haley James(OTH) 5 stars
Skevin - Skillz Taylor/Bevin Mirskey (OTH) 3 stars
Kareith - Keith Scott/Karen Roe (OTH) 5 stars
Kandy - Andy Hargrove/Karen Roe (OTH) 4 stars
Lenny - Leonard/Penny (Big Bang Theory) 5 stars
Lamber - Link Larkin/Amber Von Tussle (Hairspray) 4 stars
Lucas Grabeel's hips. 6 and a half stars. is that possible?
Taylor Lautner. 11 stars. why not?

Dislikes:
Troyella - Troy Bolton/Gabriella Montez(HSM) 0 stars
Trelsi - Troy Bolton/Kelsi Nielson (HSM) 1 star
Chason - Chad Danforth/Jason Cross (HSM) 1 star
Rytha - Ryan Evans/Martha Cox (HSM) 0 stars
Clondon - Cody Martin/London Tipton (Suite Life) 0 stars
Trorrie - Trevor/Corrie (Suite Life) 0 stars
Moliver - Oliver Oken/Miley Stewart (Hannah Montana) 1 star
Jikayla - Jake Ryan/Mikayla (Hannah Montana) 2 stars
Nelena - Nick Jonas/Selena Gomez(Real Life) 0 stars
Taylena - Taylor Lautner/Selena Gomez (Real Life) 0 stars
Cornique - Corbin Bleu/Monique Coleman (Real Life) 2 stars
Seredan - Dan Humphrey/Serena van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl) 1 star
Evsey - Evan Chambers/Casey Cartwright(GREEK) 1 star
Brucas - Lucas Scott/Brooke Davis (OTH) 3 stars
Lucsey - Lucas Scott/Lindsey Strauss(OTH) 0 stars
Brathan - Nathan Scott/Brooke Davis (OTH) 1 star
Routh - Mouth McFadden/Rachel Gatina (OTH) 1 star
Daren - Dan Scott/Karen Roe (OTH) 0 stars
Selena Gomez. Just as a person. And Wizards of Waverly Place as a result. negative a thousand stars. honestly.

DEAR GOD EXPLAIN YOUR OC'S TO ME! YOU'RE SO GOSH DARN CONFUSING!!

Well, if you insist. Beware, contains spoilers for the sequel to the Board of Secrets (17 going on 28), as well as the prequel (Middle School Musical).

THE BOARD OF SECRETS TRILOGY:
Dylan Tyler Bolton (Dylan) - b. 7-22-1993 - Troy's younger brother. Makes his first appearance in Chapter 19 of TBOS, and is constantly in MSM and 17...28.
Hannah Rebecca Jones (Becca) - b. 4-19-1993 - Dylan's best friend growing up, later becomes his girlfriend, and eventually, on 8-25-2018, wife. Is first mentioned in Chapter 20 of TBOS, and makes her first actual appearance in Chapter 9 of MSM.
Charles Patrick Brown (Chuckie) - b. 9-19-1990 - Probably one of the most important OCs in the trilogy. He makes his first appearance in Chapter 10 of TBOS, although he is literally mentioned in the first chapter. Is probably most prominently remembered as "Troy's first boyfriend", if not for being the gay guy who lives across the street from Troy or Troy’s “very best friend”. He reprises his role in 17…28 as a very prominent background character, with not such a big part as in MSM, but it’s very important.
Justin Eric Case (Justin) - b. 9-19-1988 - Mentioned in Chapter 23 of TBOS, and makes an appearance or three in MSM eventually. Also becomes a very prominent character in 17...28. He is Chuckie's current boyfriend, from South High. They met at Bball camp during the summer of 2005. He was their counselor.
Sarah Natasha Brown (Sarah) - b. 9-19-1990 - Chuckie's twin sister, she's younger than he is. Makes her first appearance in Chapter 9 of MSM after being mentioned in Chapter 8. Dated Chad in middle school, then dates Jared in high school. Not much is known of Sarah’s life after she and Jared get engaged and move away. It is unclear whether she ever really gets over Chad. It is very possible that she loved him, although it is clear she never said so. After all, she left him talk her into becoming a cheerleader when the girl’s basketball team got cut, but then she appears in the basketball playing sequences. There is so much more to both Chuckie and Sarah than any of you will probably ever know, but I know, and that's what counts.
Ruby Alexa and Sapphire Arielle Eaton (Ruby and Sapphire) - b. 7-9-1990 - Serve a complicated purpose as fake girlfriends for Chuckie and Troy when they want to go to dances and other places. Identical twin sisters, with two siblings, Violette Bianca Eaton and Cliff Harrison.
Andrew Kevin Andrews (Drew) - 1-17-1990 - Gabriella's new boyfriend, makes his first appearance several chapters into 17...28. Was considered a very talented Triple Threat at West High back in the day.
Jennifer Stephanie Bolton (Jenny) - b. 12-1-2008 - Troy's little sister. Makes first appearance in 17...28.
Madeline Caitlin Bolton (Maddie) - b. 12-17-2008 - Troy and Gabriella's daughter, conceived when Troy was drinking heavily at his birthday party. Becomes a seriously central character in 17...28. Without a doubt, Troy's favorite child.
Christopher Matthew Baylor (Chris) - b. 7-3-2010 - Zeke and Sharpay's son.
Nicholas Daniel Danforth (Nick) - b. 2-16-2013 - Chad and Taylor's son.
Ashley Michelle Bolton (Ashley) - b. 9-29-2013 - Troy and Sharpay's daughter.
Zachary Trevor Bolton (Zac) - b. 9-29-2013 - Troy and Sharpay's son, twin to Ashley.
Amanda Kathryn Bolton (Amanda) - b. 11-17-2018 - Troy and Sharpay's daughter.
Chloe Mae Bolton (Chloe) - b. 11-17-2018 - Troy and Sharpay's daughter, twin to Amanda.
Briana Nicole Danforth (Briana) - b. 6-28-2019 - Chad and Taylor's daughter.
Shawn Brian Cross (Matthew) - b. 7-14-2019 - Jason and Kelsi's son.
Simon Tobias Bolton (Simon) - b. 5-22-2020 - Dylan and Becca's son.
Seth Jeremy Bolton (Seth) - b. 5-22-2020 - Dylan and Becca's son, twin to Simon.
Ricky the Douche and Rachel the Cheerleader – Ricky will be remembered as the football captain who bullied upon Troy and Chuckie outside the movies with his buddy Q, and also had to repeat his freshman year of high school. Rachel is the head cheerleader. It is clear that she is liked more than her predecessor, Sharpay. The Sharpay rift led to her and Zeke’s inevitable breakup, and she hasn’t spoken to a basketball player since. They eventually get married and have three children of their own.
There's more, but why are you surprised? More detail to come later, of course.

THE PARENT TRAP:
Ashley Bolton - Troy and Gabriella's daughter, now lives in England with Troy, Chad, and Ryan.
Vanessa Montez - Troy and Gabriella's daughter, twin to Ashley, now lives in Albuquerque with Gabriella, Taylor, and Kelsi.
Way to remember which is which: Vanessa is a Montez, because she lives with Gabriella, because Gabriella is Vanessa Hudgens in real life! :)

LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT:
Samantha - that's me!
Katrina - that's my best friend. She's a pain. I also mention her roomates, Amy, Nicole, Brielle, Morgan, and Chelsea.
The Guy - You ask me who he is, I got nothing. He's some guy who Katrina would be interested in to get her out of my hair.
Sammy - My best friend, actually, not just for the purposes of the story. We started this "thing" where we pretend we're brother and sister to freak out anyone who thinks we're dating (we're NOT) and it was funny, but it stuck.

Well, that's basically it. I warned you about the spoilers. Don't come whining to me.

FAQ: (Not really, but I would assume these are questions someone might have)

Name: Samantha.
Age: 20. I mean 19. or 22. Or 21? Or something.
Birthday: September 29th...Same as Roger Bart (Snoopy)!
Hometown: Maine, USA
Heritage: 50 shades of white.
Random Fact: I'm weird.
Favorite Color: Hot Pink, Lime Green, and Black
Favorite Food: Salad, Pizza, and Spaghetti
Favorite Member of the HSM Cast: Lucas Grabeel, duh. Why did you even ask? But it's a close tie for second between Chris Warren Jr., Matt Prokop, and Charles Klapow.

Q: Where the HELL have you BEEN?
A: Battling with depression, discovering new fandoms, and just generally dealing with life, but I never stopped writing.

Q: So are you back now?
A: Maybe.

Q: Are you gonna update anything EVER? And what have you been writing lately?
A: Yes. I've been writing a kind of silly triple sequel in which Troy, on his death bed, gets sent back in time to inhabit his 17-year-old body again and gets the chance to right everything that ever went wrong in his life. There's a couple fun twists. I've also been rewriting The Board of Secrets because the original one sucked ass really hard. I was writing from the beginning, but then I started reading smut until 4am everyday because I'm suffering for wicked hardcore insomnia, and started revamping the sex scene at the end, most of which will never make it to the publisher because I refuse to raise the rating on TBOS.This morning, as a testament to the fact that I can't just write one thing, I began the idea for a Glee-esque fic where Ryan is Mr. Schuester, and the second generation (Maddie, Chris, etc.) are the Glee kids. My mum loves to read about Maddie and Chris

Q: You mention the "Crisis Fairy" a lot. Who is he/she and what is his/her purpose?
A: Well, the Crisis Fairy is affectionately named Rebecca, otherwise known as my sister, but also includes the whole sling of social workers that she apparently needs to remain sane, or something. When I mention the Crisis Fairy, I usually mean that there's been a lot of Rebecca issues going on, and I haven't had time to write.

Q: I really like that story "Life as You Know It". Are you going to update that, like, ever?
A: Nope.

Q: What exactly are the pairings for "Life As You Know It"?
A: Doesn't matter.

Q: I love "The Board of Secrets".
A: That's nice. Me too. Did you have a question about it?

Q: Oh, yeah, right. Where did the (very interesting) inspiration for that come from?
A: Funny story. So I had just finished making a HSM2 script, and I wasn't really tired yet, because it was only 11pm, so I got on here, and I found a story (Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn. It's one of my favorites) and read it. I think it was one of the first slash stories I read, and I spent like six hours reading the whole thing, because it's very long, and then it was suddenly 5am, and I had really random inspiration to write my own story. For some strange reason, I actually thought I was going to just crank out the entire story that night, but I didn't. It's complete, now, though. But it sucks and I'm rewriting.

Q: That's...cool. So tell me about the prequel and the sequel for it.
A: Well, the prequel's called "Middle School Musical" and it's about Troy, and basically his backstory with Sharpay and Chuckie. There is a fair amount of Chad teasing as of yet, and Gabriella makes her appearance towards the very end. If she wasn’t so central to the story, I’m sure I’d find some way to throw her off a cliff, after making sure that Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens were nowhere around. The sequel is "17 going on...28?" and it's about what happens when Troy suddenly finds himself 10 years in the future. His life is awkward, and he sees fit to return it back to the way it was, even if it's difficult. (Think a little 13 going on 30 ish.) It’s just missing a chapter or seven in the middle, where I hope to clarify some more things. I'm also currently writing another sequel that I laughingly gave the working title "Sequelception" but is actually titled "Live For the Loop" which mostly centers on Chuckie righting all the things he did wrong in his life when he's given a second chance.

Q: That's sweet. So, what was your inspiration for "Forever and Ever"?
A: Well, before I discovered the greatness that is fanfiction.net, the only place I could get "stories" was Youtube, and I couldn't find a Ryella / Lunessa story that I liked, so I wrote my own. I affectionately call it "Mom's Story" because she likes it better than any of my other stories, because she's insane, and it's the only one she's read. (When I'm talking to her it's "My 'Your Story'" and when she's talking to me it's "Your 'My Story'".) Lately she's been complaining to me that she can see where the story is going, and she doesn't like it, so I told her to write her own story ("Your 'Your Story'") but she declined.

Q: Did I hear something about a sequel to that?
A: If you did, it wasn't from me. This is an official update! There will be no sequel to Forever and Ever! The fact that it says there is, doesn't change the fact that there's not. Kedoke?

Q: Okay, so what's the deal with "Who's Getting Married?"?
A: Um, basically it's a collection of wedding oneshots, with a mystery bonus of not knowing who's getting married. I am currently taking requests for this story. If you review it with a request, I'll mention you at the bottom! They don't follow each other, and shouldn't be read as a story. If I had to choose a favorite, I think it would be the second one, even though that's the shortest.

Q: What's the next one?
A: I have no idea.

Q: When’s the next one?
A: Still got no idea.

Q: So, what pairings are there currently?
A: I can't tell you that either.

Q: Oh, come on.
A: Oh, fine. Troypay, Troyella, Ryella, Zekepay, Chaylor, Jelsi, Chadpay, and others (like Jaspay and Tryan). Upcoming pairings will include: Trelsi, Rylor, Chelsi, Traylor, Chadella, Ryelsi, Zelsi, Zekella, and maybe Chyan, as well as repeats of those currently.

Q: And I can request whatever I want?
A: Isn't that what I said? Except Rypay. I"m not doing a Rypay.

Q: Are you saying that you do not support Rypay?
A: No, I'm just saying that I'm not writing them a wedding. I actually do read Rypay quite frequently. If it's good.

Q: What other stories do you have?
A: See section below for a complete list.

Q: Okay, so changing gears...what exactly do you read?
A: I read...oh, you mean on here. Okay. In HSM I read basically anything. I do not read Troyella as a general rule. That's basically all I don't read, besides femslash. Actually, as an amendment to that, I read Tayella femslash. That's it. I also read HP on occasion, usually Drarry or Dramione or anything that's meant to be a parody of sorts. I've also randomly started reading Chanoey in the Friends category and Lathan from OTH, because apparently I have a couple of weird kinks and also no one will update their slash stories in the HSM category. (Hint, hint!) I also enjoy Chuck/Nate and Chuck/Blair in Gossip Girl, as well as Jacob/Bella and Jacob/Edward in Twilight. I've gotten into Glee and I read Klaine, Hummerman (Puck/Kurt), Furt, Puckleberry, and Hummelberry (and for this I'm going to hell). In real life, I tend to read Harry Potter, Twilight, the Gossip Girl series, and anything written by Dave Barry, especially his series of Peter Pan books.

Q: What kind of music do you like to listen to, besides the HSM3 soundtrack?
A: I like to listen to all the HSM songs, Camp Rock, the JoBros, Avenue Q, Wicked, Hairspray, RENT, Cheetah Girls 2 (I have recently come up with an addiction to Drew Seeley, which is weird, because I don't like him), um, Corbin Bleu, Lucas Grabeel, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, Legally Blonde: the Musical, Phantom of the Opera, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown (the revival cast with Kristin Chenoweth and Anthony Rapp, who are amazing. So is Idina Menzel) and Sweeney Todd. In regular music, I love, love, LOVE Britney Spears (because I'm old enough to remember when she was cool), the Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Nsync, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavinge, Aaron Carter, Beach Boys, Ciara, Rihanna, Fallout Boy, Fergie, Green Day, Gwen Stefani, Hilary Duff, Jesse McCartney, Kelly Clarkson, Nickelback, Pussycat Dolls, Weird Al, Plain White T's, MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE, and so many more that it would bore you to death to list them all.

Q: That's quite a selection. What's your favorite song not on the HSM3 soundtrack?
A: What kind of question is that? Lights Out by Mindless Self Indulgence. And a few other songs by them. Also Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it) by Beyonce. Also stuff like Boom Boom Pow and anything with a lot of bass. I love the songs from Rock Band too.

Q: That's...you have serious issues. What's your favorite song ON the HSM3 soundtrack?
A: Easy. Senior Year Spring Musical Medley. My favorite part is the part where Sharpay and Jimmie sing together, and she can't stand him. "Hey, you didn't hear this from me, but she's got, like, a secret crush on you." "A SECRET CRUSH??" "Sh!" "What, you think I should go talk to her?" "Yeah!"

Q: So...what else do you do?
A: Not much, I'm not going to lie. I sit around and write. Constantly. I actually have a really good plot thickening device on hand, so if there are no more questions...

Q: Oh yeah. Here's the last question. What temperature is it outside right now?
A: Says 54 degrees. Not bad for the middle of the night.

Movie / TV Quotes:

Sharpay: So, Troy, when's the big game?
Troy: Uh, yesterday?
Sharpay: Oh, well, good luck! Toodles!

Darbus: We'll call it "Senior Year"!
Sharpay: Genius.

Let me tell ya, the first movie, I didn’t get the musical, the second one, I didn’t get the guy, the third one, I better get the Julliard scholarship. --Ashley Tisdale.

Zeke: Sharpay!
Sharpay: Cookie? (Turns to Boi and pouts) He's got no cookie.

Jimmie: You can call me Rocketman if you want...
Ms. Darbus: How generous. Now, Mr. Zara...

Jimmie: I wouldn't sing with you if my hair was on fire, and you were the last bucket of water on Earth.
Tiara: I wouldn't sing with you if I was starving and you were the last pickle at the picnic.
Jimmie: So, you wanna go to lunch sometime?

What spell has this elevated IQ temptress girl cast that suddenly makes you want to be in a musical? --Chad Danforth

I didn't know robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away? --Blair Waldorf

Blair: Three words, eight letters, say it, and I'm yours.
Chuck: I...I...
Blair: Thank you. That's all I needed here.

Damn that mother chucker. --Blair Waldorf.

Jenny: Dad, have you seen a bracelet? You know, round, silverish, sparkly…
Rufus: Yeah, I think I saw that next to that ambiguous, vague thing, by the nondescript place.

Nate: Excuse me, where’s my boy? Seal the deal, tap that ass, money marries bigger money…
Chuck: Look, Nathaniel, I care about 3 things. Money, the pleasure that money brings me, and you.

Serena: What’s going on?
Dan: My dad dated your mom. But we’re not related.
Eric: Yeah, ignore my roots.

Well, thank you, Cupid. --Karen Roe.

Whoever heard of field hockey without flying monkeys? --Aggie Cromwell (Halloweentown High)

Objection! (To what?) Uhh...Rhyming? --Scooter (College Road Trip)

Officer, I swear to drunk that I am NOT God!

You, sir, are indeed a twatwaffle.

Wanting to make gentle yet impassioned love with Tom Brady doesn’t make you gay.

Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

I went to a Chinese restaurant. It had a suggestion box, so I wrote “Free Tibet”.

Let’s make like fabric softener and Snuggle.

Let's make like Drain-O, and get the crap outta here.

My imaginary friends think you have serious problems.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Honestly, I am finding Moby Dick a little long and kinda stiff. --Rusty. (GREEK)

Who wants some Beerios? --Reaper Commercial.

If you ever need anything... someone to talk to, new carpets, I don't know, like a husband... --Chase Adams.

Better go before I start looking Pervy.
What's Pervy?
Nothing you need to worry about. --Dan and Jamie Scott.

I don't think I like waffles! --Pediasure Commercial.

That's not even a possibility, Ms. Darbus, your Honor, see, cuz we have basketball, and Troy-
Um, Mr. Fulton, your excellency, sir, would it be okay if we...draw straws to see who has to wait on Sharpay? --Chad Danforth.

It's always good to have extra credit. You know...for college. --Troy Bolton.

Boat. --Ragetti. (Pirates 3)

Oh, yes, Chapeau, mate. --Jack Sparrow (Pirates 3)

Think like the whelp. --Jack Sparrow (Pirates 3)

I would never marry anyone who wasn’t okay with you and Zack. Or Mr. Moseby. –Carey Martin. (Suite Life)

When your Bend and Snap has that much bend and snap, it’s been known to defy all laws of physics and logic. --Legally Blonde: The Musical

He's all that and he has a job! --Paulette (Legally Blonde: The Musical)

Emmett nailed the pool boy. --Legally Blonde: The Musical

The kids don’t like it when Mommy and Daddy fight. --Abby about Jenny and Gibbs. (NCIS)

It's more addictive than pistachios. I mean, have you ever had just one pistachio? --Abby. (NCIS)

Of course someone else is after the treasure. It's the axiom of treasure hunting. --Riley Poole. (National Treasure 2)

I'd rather not be associated with your lunacy, Mouth. --Haley James.

Look, guys, I learned my lesson. I showered in cold water, I looked at a tree, it's been three hours. I need hair product! --Shane Gray. (Camp Rock)

We are talking about finishing my birdhouse, right? --Jason. (Camp Rock)

Jason: Yeah, no go-backs. It's like the Golden Rule.
Nate: No, dude, the Golden Rule is Tell the Truth.
Jason: Dude, then it can be the silver rule.
Nate: Why is it the silver rule?
Jason: Okay, fine, the copper rule.
Nate: Copper rule?
Jason: Give me tin at least.
(Camp Rock)

Jason: Guess who!
Shane: You're in the room. I can see you.
Jason: I CAN SEE YOU TOO!! Group hug! Much better. It hasn't been the same just hugging Nate.
Nate: It really hasn't.
(Camp Rock)

Our great defense against He-who-must-not-be-named consists of a conartist, a few teachers, a house wife, a convict, one jackass of a spy, a senile old man, a werewolf, a fellow who's hobby is collecting 'plugs', a half giant and a squib? ...we are so doomed...

That's not a non-sequitur. A non-sequitur is like We've lost 3400 troops in Iraq, do you consider a unicycle furniture? --John Stewart. (The Daily Show)

Flipping Dykes? I thought that was just a myth. Like weapons of Mass Destruction. --Grace Adler. (Will and Grace)

First off, there's a difference between waves and particles, DUH! --Mike Tevee. (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

Like when Bugs Bunny got Elmer Fudd to shoot Daffy Duck, and then blamed the Jews. --John Stewart. (The Daily Show)

Big, Bad Wolf's brother, Medium, Slightly Ticked Off Wolf. --Colin Mochrie. (Whose Line)

Are you sure this is ethical?
We're in the 4th grade. We don't even know what ethical means. --South Park.

So, fish people, by dint of being fish people aren't as civilized as non-fish people? --Pirates 3.

All I can remember is, like, pink jelly. --Troy Bolton. (I mean really, what is that about?)

Did you ever try just…singing? Without all the lights and sets and...backup people? --Troy Bolton (I Love Zac's face when he says this)

She loves pi. --Sharpay Evans

What the heck are those two doing in a tree? --Coach Bolton

A man who was swallowed whole by a whale today escaped by running all the way down to the end until he was pooped out. --Drew Carey. (Whose Line)

Tonight’s winner gets a lifetime supply of ChapStick. That’s right: One tube of ChapStick. Last you the rest of your life. --Drew Carey. (Whose Line)

Shoot him, cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard. --Jack Sparrow. (Pirates 3)

I can't fly on a broom, or any other cleaning instrument. --Ethan Dalloway (Return to Halloweentown)

We're not talking about laundry anymore are we? --Ethan Dalloway (Return to Halloweentown)

Exploding dental floss. Don't have this? Hm. --Agent 99. (Get Smart)

This is my sister, Ashley. --Lucas Grabeel. (Extra feature from The Concert DVD).

I have 96 daughters and 1 son!
Whoa, busy guy! --Mr. Mayor and Horton (Horton Hears a Who)

There really is a person on this speck! He has a wife and 96 daughters and 1 son named Jojo, and they all share a bathroom, whatever that is. --Horton (Horton Hears a Who)

Frank: That's a dog!!
BJ: Very good, Frank!
(MASH)

He's the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake. I don't know animals. Either way, it's bad. --Dr. Evil (Austin Powers 2)

She doesn't want to go. She doesn't wanna see her high school sweetheart slash your brother Dan slash the jerk who abandoned Lucas slash the father of Nathan, the team's star player slash my wrists if I hear the story again. Let's go. --Haley James

There will always be women in rubber flirting with me! --Maureen Johnson (RENT)

Your mother is a beep -ing beep loramensum beep agnentum venium beep trrragoola beep hippopotamus beep republican beep -ing Daniel Radcliffe beep with a bucket of beep in a castle far away where no one can hear you beep soup! beep with a bucket of beep Mickey Mouse! beep and a Stick of dynamite beep magical beep ALAKAZAM!! --Potter Puppet Pals (Wizard Swears)

Ziva: We could have made it.
Tony: The needle is below “E”. “E” stands for empty. We have less than empty. And we don’t even know where “it” is.
Ziva: We could have made it.
(NCIS)

Ziva: We have a saying at the Mossad: Knives don't run out of bullets. Are there any questions pertaining to this class?
Tony: I've got one. Have you ever killed anyone with a spoon?
Ziva: No, but I'm seriously considering it.
(NCIS)

Brooke Davis: So what's your idea of the perfect date?
Haley James: Watching you get hit by a bus.

Linus: Snoopy! Do you see this stick? I, the human being, will throw the stick and you, the dog, will retrieve it.
Snoopy: I, the dog, could not be less interested.
(You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown)

If we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb! --Motormouth Maybelle

Jacob: Because I am a werewolf and he is a vampire.
Bella: And I’m a Virgo!
(Later…)
Jacob: None of those freaky Virgos here.

Absolute Favorite Quote of All Time:

Mr. Flak: Oh and Mr. Larkin, perhaps you'd like to share with the rest of the class Patrick Henry's immortal last words?
Link Larkin: Kiss my ass?
(If you don't know what it's from...I'm not telling you. But I'll give you a hint...Zac Efron's in it, and he is hotter than hell.)

Story Quotes: (I would love to credit these, but I honestly can't remember where they came from. Tell me if you know, PLEASE)

‘Ask her if she likes cheese, no, tell her that her eyes are pretty, tell her she's amazing!’

“Not a chance, Zeke!” Sharpay finally yelled. “Do you really think this… really nice… cake, is going to make me forget what you did to me? And my brother?” she added, almost as an afterthought.
“Well, I didn’t know what kind of cake Ryan likes,” Zeke said, shrugging. “Could you ask him?”
“I always pictured Ryan as a pie kind of guy,” Chad interjected, lips pursed in thought. “Like, blueberry or something.”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“Come on, Troy, it’s time for the game,” Zeke said, urgency in his voice. “If we’re not there on time, we won’t get to compete in the bake-off.”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“Not to worry, my friend, because I have got your back,” Chad said, confidently. “I’ll use my mad skillz to jump in front of the bullets, shield your body with mine. Oooh! Do I get a really cool earpiece to wear, too?”
“Yeah, but your code name will be Chia Pet,” Zeke chimed in.
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“Just have your damned party, Zeke!” Troy burst out, angrily. “He promised he’d be there and help you with it, and drag Sharpay along. Ryan keeps his promises; I’m the fucker who can’t keep ‘em. Ryan’ll show up, and you’ll hook up with Sharpay, and live happily ever fucking after.”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

"My God, Chad, if you turn this into a Wildcats cheer that ends with "Get’cha head in the game!", I am going to beat you to death with a shovel."
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

"Oh my mother-fucking God, what the fuck are you two doing?! I cannot believe you! Ryan, you… you…you asshole! It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours and you’re already kissing Troy. Wait! Troy?! Oh my God! Troy, what are you doing? You’re kissing my brother! How dare you! I didn’t know you were gay! Is that why you broke up with me? To get with my brother? I cannot believe you!"
(Forbidden Love -- Jaba)

Chad had gotten him a signed picture of Michael Crawford (he was one of Ryan’s favorite actors. He wanted to play the phantom of the opera for years after seeing him); he said it was his mom’s and something about it being in a fridge. "Chad has a strange family," Ryan thought to himself.
(Party time!! -- Samaster)

There was weird and then there was weird.

“Burgled? What the hell is that?”
“It’s the verb form of burglary,” Jason responded promptly, making his friends even more taken aback. “Maybe he caught a burglar red-handed as he was making off with his mother’s jewelry - not the burglar’s mother, Ryan’s mother, because you’d have to be a pretty awful person to steal from your own mother, unless she was really mean to you, don’t you think? And why would Ryan care if a burglar was stealing from his own mother? Anyway, maybe Ryan tried to save his mother’s jewelry, but the burglar gave him the old one-two and got away, leaving Ryan with bruises.”
(Fight For It -- PhoenixDreams)

“First of all, we’re not fucking,” Ryan said angrily.
Sharpay shot him a pointed look. “Right, you’re playing strip Monopoly and you both lost.”
(Fight For It -- PhoenixDreams)

And then it happened in the blink of an eye. One moment Evan was standing, staring back at Cappie as if daring him to make a move and the next he was on the ground clutching at a nose that was suddenly spurting blood all over the front of his shirt. “That’s for Spitter,” Cappie said, standing over him. He watched as Evan struggled unsteadily to his feet before raring back and hitting him again. “That was for making disparaging remarks against my girlfriend’s character.” He leaned over where Evan had fallen once again to the ground and told him in a low, very serious voice, “Stay down until I get inside or I’m sure I can think of another reason to hit you.”

“Is this the part where I run from the homophobic best friend?”
“What? No. Sit your scrawny ass down, Evans.”

“Shut Up Ryan, we are not going to look perfect if you stumble round like a drunk Joey Tribbiani!” --Sharpay Evans (like duh!)

Phi Kappa Psi, which Troy had dubbed “Circle with a line through it, K, pitchfork.”
(After the Music -- weaksauce)

“It all started out as a nice day,” Kaden began. “The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world. I got up early that morning to study for my econ midterm and Ryan was getting ready; you know, picking out his day outfit and then his date outfit for later all while singing something that sounded like La Vie Boheme.”
(After the Music -- weaksauce)

“A long time ago, in a land far, far away there was a stunning prince named Ryan who had the most stunning blond hair you had ever seen—”
(Thank Goodness -- weaksauce)

“Uh..okay… well I’m um going to… go down the.. Walking things… you know to the lower level of the… uh house?” Sharpay said awkwardly.
“Stairs?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah… those.” Sharpay replied.

“Excuse me, I have to go… comb my teeth… I mean brush my face… I mean.. I have to use the bathroom.”

Now Henry sounded mad for real. Sort of. Hawkeye bet that Lorraine was the one who had to discipline the kids. And the dog. And the goldfish. And the houseplants.

What’s more, Chad made the mistake of letting Ryan pick the movie, and of course Ryan chose…Hairspray. Chad might have been able to let the movie distract him if it was anything else, but he was still inclined to believe musicals were boring. He just couldn’t get into it the way Ryan was. Plus, he kept thinking that one of the guys in the movie looked an awful lot like Troy and kept watching Ryan and hoping that he hadn’t noticed.

Ryan’s not normal. Why? “He did funny dancing that involved more hip movement that a stripper used.”
(Kink -- Hannah-Sheree)

Chad glared and playfully elbowed him. “You don’t even date girls.”
“How do you know?” Ryan tipped his head slyly.
Chad was thankful they were sitting on the floor, because if they hadn’t been, he might’ve fallen over. He stared at Ryan, eyebrows raised, eyes narrowed, and wondered if the world actually was flat.
Ryan snickered lightly. “You’re far too easy.”

Chad made a disgusted noise. “But all of that all the time? They can’t stop talking about each other. Every other thing he says is about Gabriella. And the kissing and the staring and the ‘I’m not trying to grope you except I really am!’ I mean, trying to get laid is one thing, but they are far too… vanilla, bubblegum…” he searched for a good description. “Cancer-causing saccharine to even try that.”
“What’s wrong with that?” she asked then made a “calm down” gesture with her hand. “Besides the fact that it bothers you. And getting cancer is bad.”
(Boy Disease -- Jenwyn)

“What, you want me to say it’s… aglow with the light of a million fairies?” Ryan asked with a bright grin.
(Boy Disease -- Jenwyn)

Chad shrugged and took another bite of chocolate, caramel, peanut goodness. “He’s an ex-marine. And a republican. He’s not going to like anyone.”
(Boy Disease -- Jenwyn)

“Zeke!” She shrieked at once; he was at her side in less than a second. “You’re my new boyfriend. As such, you are to agree with everything I say, spoil me rotten, and just generally treat me like the princess I am. Understood?”

We’re gonna have fun having sex, now that we’ve swabbed, swabbed the decks! Everybody none for all and all for none!!
(High School Musical 2: The Parody -- TinyDancer14)

Someone will tell you you can dance, and you will immediately challenge them to a baseball game to prove them wrong.

Even if your showerhead is impressed with your singing, it doesn't mean that they won't replace your singing voice with Drew Seeley's.

Troyella fans are the worst breed of HSM fans ever to be spawned. --Tryanforever91

Link and Amber are the Hairspray equivalent of Troypay. --Tryanforever91

"Muggle Leaders and their peaceful coexistence with the mystical fish -- a study."

“Oh yeah, my boyfriend, Chad Danforth, the gorgeous star of the basketball team who just happens to be in love with Ryan Evans.” Taylor joked. “It’s got a great ring to it, I might get business cards-”

After a lot of singing and dancing, Chad remarked that this was the weirdest date he had ever been on and Taylor demanded that they take a break.

“Gabriella, what are you doing?” asked Sharpay
“I have to speak to your brother.”
“Why?” she asked.
“FOR GODNESS SAKE DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING?!” she screamed.

“It’s like 3:30 AM, Troy, and I’m just about--TROY BOLTON DON’T YOU DARE PUT THAT WHIPPED CREAM ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR PANTS!”
(Read between the lines -- Lily is Confused)

“Oh, right, well,” Harry turned around and checked himself in the mirror quickly, “I'm just going to go off then and shag Draco.” He squeaked. “I mean snog!” He let out another squeak. “I mean scream at! Yes, scream at Draco!” Harry said assertively. “Malfoy!” He corrected himself. “Bye!” Harry ran from the room in a flurry of robe.

In fact, Troy was, not for the first time, almost tempted to check the study for hidden bat poles or something. Though Ryan would probably be far more stylish than Robin. Probably slightly more gay, though, if such a thing were possible.
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

Ryan slapped Troy on the head, lightly. “We agreed last summer. No more quoting lyrics of any kind. So no more ‘we’re all in this together,’ no more working this out, and definitely no more ‘get’cha head in the game!’ Seriously, Troy, which one of you Wildcats came up with that one? It might’ve been okay the first couple times. But a gazillion times later, and it makes me want to commit ritual suicide.”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night --Squall Thrawn)

“This would be the part where we get undressed. Unless, of course, you shower with your pants on?”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

It’s not like the laundry room was on the top of people’s places to party list.
(Thank Goodness -- weaksauce)

Angela was the first person to find out that Chad was gay. She didn't drag it out of him, she just sort of found out. I guess if you see your 16 year-old brother straddling another boy in his room, you get suspicious.

In her book, homosexuals are one of the worst things in the world, next to democrats and those horrible neighbors of hers that she positively knows are talking bad about her behind her back.
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

Smug like the cat who's got the cream as well as the canary and wearing some absolutely ludicrous shirt, unbuttoned to the waist.

"George, I'm your twin. I know everything about you and you know everything about me, so if something is bothering you, then it will most likely bother me as well, so why not tell me so that we can be bothered together."
"Fred, that made absolutely no sense."

"I'm gay."
"No you're not. You seem downright depressed lately if you ask me."

He wasn't sure if Dan was gay, bi, questioning, hypocritically turned on by money, or just really into Vonnegut.

Chuck: Do you trust me?
Erik: Yes.
Stupid.

Lucas: Don't be embarrassed, young grasshopper. Interest in sex is a natural part of growing up. Soon your body will begin to change. Hair will start to grow in funny places and you're going to feel different around girls. Just be careful.
Zac: Get the fuck out, Lucas.

Erik: So basically what you're telling me is that you slept with your best friend's girlfriend, lied about it, and then sent the scoop to Gossip Girl hoping he wouldn't find out?
Chuck: They were on a break
Erik: Okay, Ross.

Nate flushed in that adorable way he had. It made him look like a twelve year old being kissed for the first time. Or in Chuck's case, a six year old.

"Ah yes," Chuck said. "I'm an equal-opportunity whore. Gay-straight, black-white, just gotta line up."

Ah freshmen, Chuck thought. They couldn't even say the word sex but they were eager to jump into bed and do it.

Chace: Do you have fuck buddies in England?
Ed: Uh, yeah. That's not, like, a cultural phenomenon limited to the US. They probably have fuck buddies in, I don't know, the Gambia or something. Crawling into each other huts when they get lonely.

He felt like a teenager who'd just ended an argument with a parent by screaming, well, I guess I'll just go to BED then - if you won't let me go out/play Nirvana at top volume/sacrifice goats, I'll just go to SLEEP and DIE.

The dreams started off innocently enough. Nate would be having sex with Serena, who would morph into Blair. Only then she would get taller, and broader, and wear bizarre, seventies-esque clothes and oh, look, she had turned into Chuck.

Nate: Fuck.
Chuck: No, Nathaniel, I'm too drunk to.

“Oh, what’s that you say, Mr. Bolton? You’ve got a trilby just like mine? My goodness! And you say you like Broadway musicals? Me too!”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“Ah, yes,” Ryan said, dryly. “The walk to the gallows. I’m sorry I haven’t changed my will yet to include you; Shar’ll end up with most of my stuff.”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“Later,” Ryan said, grinning. “Unless, of course, you had other plans… Like, I don’t know… Bible study?”
(Picking up the pieces of a lost night -- Squall Thrawn)

“All right, now shut up. We’re gonna have hot sex, and you are gonna like it. Then you are going to find Jacob for me because I am doing you a favor. Got that?”

He stares at James as if James's head has just flown off or as if he just spoke to him in Swahili, danced a jig, and tried to eat an entire Flobberworm.

Enemy or not, this is sex, and sex should be good for everyone. It's one of his deepest beliefs.

The pair of house elves had now progressed into an entire theatrical troupe complete with orchestra, chorus line, and heckling audience.

“Besides, Sirius wasn't my type."
"From what I recall he was the type of two thirds the school's populace."

What next: male wizard's getting pregnant, a Weasley and a Malfoy secretly dating, perhaps Potter was really his son.

"On top of that, it doesn't like you, and none of my cutlery does either."

"Goodbye cruel world." The hat intoned before he jumped from the edge of the tower. He closed his eyes awaiting the end.
A wind picked up and the hat spiraled, floating downward until he landed on the ground relatively unharmed.
"Oh shit, that's right I'm a hat."

and it should not be this hot to see your boyfriend sexually involved with another man but it really, really is.

Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish it were, but if it were Glee would devolve into some giant orgy and that would be horribly unproductive in the end…

But he's glad he's wearing pants that are tight enough that getting hard is a problem in the first place.

"He really doesn't think of you as a boy, does he?" Blaine directs this toward Kurt, who laughs as he realizes it's true. He's pretty sure Finn just thinks of him as 'Kurt' and nothing else, sex notwithstanding even though Kurt's pretty sure that sometimes when they're making out he's still reaching for something that isn't there (see: boobs).

"Oh come on, he's practically Rachel with a dick, Finn!"

Brothers. It's such a silly word, like toffee or koala… brothers’

He could have sought Puck's help; his friend had a large collection of them. Finn knew this, because one day Puck showed him the top drawer of his bedside table. And the bowl with plastic fruit in his kitchen. And his wallet. And the small toolbox in his locker where he kept them organized according to color, texture and flavor.

NOTE: I don't claim any of these quotes as mine, because they aren't. I just thought they were funny and/or interesting.

Personal Inside Jokes with the Roomies:

Brainpower!

I'll talk to you about your face.

How can you be in college? Do you, like, drink?

We'd need leukemia!

We're committing identity theft!

The Three Easy Girls.

Kazoo Hero!

When the Red Sox won the Superbowl the first time…

I learned that out yesterday.

Not just shut up. FUCKING shut up.

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children?

Ten? No, twenty, I don't have enough hands.

Meow.

Joshmantha.

Pgilsohpthty.

a,bdajkbdajkfdkanlsdasbnd (means "I Miss Josh" in Gibberish)

My Personal Quotes: (These ones I do claim)

I’m reading What if… to my mom, and I finish and say “That’s my official opinion. Zekepay is totally based on chocolate chip cookies.” I look at my mom and realize that she is not paying attention to me and she’s like asleep, and I say “Can you tell me anything of what I just said?” She says “It doesn’t have mice on it.” Like seriously, how do you get that out of that?

We've just finished watching "I'll Cover You" in RENT and my mother says, "So, they're gonna be gay together?". There are so many things wrong with that sentence. 1) Duh, I would have thought you'd figured out that they were going to be gay together much before this point. 2) Thank you for ruining the emotional high point of the movie. (It didn't help that my dad came home halfway through "La Vie Boheme" and started yelling at me about toilet paper or something equally ridiculous). 3) That's just not something you say period. Especially when the answer is so obvious.

Now here’s a headline: “Gay ex-gov wins round in divorce court”.

Me (reading something): Hethinkshewantsherneemememehneennemanenemeenanenennnaaaaaah. thinks for a second. What did I just say?! Bursts out laughing.

Chad and Ryan are like Robert and Giselle. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that one before!

"They're silly." --Me. I'm watching HSM: The Concert and it's the beginning where Lucas Grabeel and Chucky Klapow are doing multiple high five things and being silly. 7-31-2008

Me: I like Ryan/Kelsi too! Wait I gotta dance. (I do an improvised dance that will forever be known as a Ryelsi dance. My mom walks in the door and stares at me. One of my legs is in the air, and both my arms are above my head. I freeze. Gotta Find You by Joe Jonas from Camp Rock is playing.)
My Mom: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing. (I sit back down quietly.)
Mom: What were you dancing about?
Me: Ryelsi! (We get into a heated argument about Ryelsi vs. Ryella, and whether Ryne Sanborn is good looking.)

“Yeah, the West High Knights won’t know what hit them,” said Chad. “And then we’ll say, ‘That’s Ryan Evans, singing sensation and basketball wonder’, and they’ll look at us in awe and then they’ll explode.” Troy and Ryan looked at him and frowned. “Okay, well, they won’t explode, but something will happen.”
(Forever and Ever -- samlover14)

Sharpay walked into her brother's room. She struggled to remember his name. "Zac. Troy. Corbin. Lucas..." Sharpay began.
"Hi. My name's Ryan. I'm your twin brother," said Ryan.
"I know," said Sharpay.
"You look awful. Did you stay up all night?" asked Ryan.
"I don't remember," said Sharpay.
(Forever and Ever -- samlover14)

'My dear …' Professor Trelawney breathed, gazing up at Harry. 'It is here, plainer than ever before … my dear, stalking towards you, growing ever closer… the–'
'Oh for goodness' sake!' said Hermione, loudly. 'Not that ridiculous Grim again!'
'No, my dear,' Professor Trelawney said, looking at her. 'I'm afraid it's worse, much worse, this is...the BLUE POLKA DOTTED HORSE OF INSANITY!'
(Half from J.K.Rowling, half from me, and half from one of my friends)

After Karen says "no" to Keith's proposal, I screamed, and got very angry at the television.
Me: WHAT? you don't say no when Keith Scott proposes to you. You got that? Mom? If Keith Scott EVER proposes to you, you say YES!
Mom: Okay.
Me: Same goes for you too Dad.
Dad: Rolls his eyes

My sister, Rebecca bragging about the one time she beat me at Chess (which I'm pretty sure she was making up as she went along): Remember when I whooped your ass with a knight and two rooks? No, wait, it was a king and two rooks, and whooped your ass because you had a crapload of pieces that you didn’t know how to use. Screw you.

My roommate Cait and her boyfriend Matt are talking on the phone and Matt says something, so I suggest to Cait to tell him that if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Cait (to Matt): If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Matt (to Cait on the phone): (Something, I couldn't hear.)
Cait: (Laughs really hard). Did you hear what he just said?
Me: No.
Cait: He said if I didn't suck he'd be very sad.
Me: OMG, Matt, very mature.
Cait: she says very mature, Matt.

Cait (to Matt on the phone): No. You are a cookie.
Matt (to Cait on the phone): What about Derek?
Cait: No, Derek is an asshat. And there's a difference between cookies and asshats. Right, Samantha?
Me: Uh...sure.
Cait (to Matt): She says sure.

My mom and I are talking during a commercial of the 2008 season finale on NCIS and the topic gets randomly changed.
Mom: I can’t believe they killed Jenny.
Me: I can’t believe they killed Keith. (From One Tree Hill.)
Mom: I can’t believe they killed Keith.

Me (mocking above): I can’t believe they killed Jenny. I can’t believe they killed Keith.
Me (still mocking) and my mom: I can’t believe they killed Keith.
Me: I can’t believe they killed Q.
My mom: I can’t believe they killed Q.
Me (sensing a trend): I can’t believe you like Mike Newton better than Jacob.
My mom: I can’t believe I– Wait a minute…

“So, what happens to the involvement fair if it’s still raining?” asked Gabriella.
“I don’t know. We have it in the gym, I guess. It’s never rained before,” said Taylor. Troy and Chad looked at her.
“It’s never rained before?” asked Chad.
“You know what I mean, oh, never mind,” said Taylor. Chad, Troy, and Ryan laughed.
(Forever and Ever -- samlover14)

"Road salt comes from the salt flats of oobagawaba." --My Dad while we were discussing the road salt shortage c. Winter 2007-8.

My mother is naming the presidents in order, to remember which one the fifth one is.
"Washington, Adams, Lincoln..." Everyone stares at her. "I mean, Jefferson..."

Do you feel sexy? (alternate line for Davy Jones in Pirates. My sister and I were listening to "I'm Too Sexy" while talking about Pirates 2 c. Summer 2006)

I've just said some quote from one of my stories.
Rebecca, my sister: Do I say that?
My mom: It's from her story.
Rebecca, my sister: No, the character named after me!
Me: No, Becca doesn't say that.

"That's bullshit, Troy," Chuckie said. "You and I both know that kid is queerer than a 3 dollar bill."
(A Story of Truckie-ness -- samlover14)

"C'mon, Chucks, he's-" Troy began.
"Straight? Yeah, so's spaghetti until you heat it up," Chuckie replied.
(Commitment -- samlover14)

"Tell me about it. I actually got kind of scared she'd ask me out, after you and Troy and Jared didn't work out. And what was I gonna say? Sorry, but I'm gay?" Chuckie asked.
"No," Chad said. "I would have sidled up beside her and been like, 'Shar, it's nice to know you have the interest, but, uh, he's so gay he shits rainbows.'."
"Lovely, Chad. Very mature," Chuckie said.
(Commitment -- samlover14)

(Then later)...
"Well, while you guys argue over whether optical spectacles come out of my ass, I'm gonna go find out for myself," Chuckie said, walking past them into the cabin.
"Very mature, Chuckie!" Chad called after him.
(Commitment -- samlover14)

At that moment, Sharpay burst through the front doors, with Troy just behind her. “Aha, just the girl we needed to see. Sharpay, can you settle a bet Ryan and I are having?” Sharpay looked at Gabriella. “Well, I say that Zac broke up with Vanessa for Ashley, and Ryan said Zanessa still going strong. What do you think?” Sharpay looked between Ryan and Gabriella.
“What?! Zac and Vanessa didn’t break up, did they?” Everyone in the room, including the butler, who happened to be passing through, stared at Troy as he made this remark.
(And then it all Changed -- samlover14)

“Okay, talk to you later,” I said. “Bye.” I looked at the phone for several seconds, before Maddie appeared at my shoulder to turn it off for me. “Thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” she said. “I also know how to program the TV to record all the Pokemon episodes ever aired.”
"I’m sure that’s a really useful skill,” I said.
(17 going on 28? -- samlover14)

Troy: “I’ll be back, girls. You can be Tchaikovsky and Beethoven. I don’t care which.”
(17 going on 28? -- samlover14)

"Disaster Strikes East High: Basketball Star Found Homosexual," I read. “I remember that. That was, like, the best day of my life. My dad cut the article out of the newspaper and brandished it in my face. I took it, read it, and just beamed. I showed it to Ryan, and Sharpay had it framed. Voila.”
(17 going on 28? -- samlover14)

“I gotta say, though, if you ever dated my sister, I’d be really mad," Chuckie said.
“Fortunately, I’ve never dated your sister,” I said. “I only date cheerleaders.”
“I’m not a cheerleader,” he said.
“Well, I’m not dating you,” I said.
(Middle School Musical -- samlover14)

"So how about that war?" Jason asked.
(Middle School Musical -- samlover14)

Okay, so every story has an LOL Ultimate. Here's the one from the Board of Secrets:
“Better, I guess,” Jason said. “Wow, though. I go to bed at night, and then wake up in the morning and everything is at peace in the world, the sun is shining, I have a good paying job, and then I come to guys night and the bomb hits…and yet, somehow, the sun is still shining, and I still have a good paying job, and a girlfriend, and there’s a lesson to be learned here.”
“And that is?” I asked, a little apprehensive.
“Republicans are liars,” Jason said.

And here's the one from Middle School Musical:
“Okay, I’m confused,” I said. “What about all those talks you gave me? You know…Homosexuals are the reason the economy is bad…homosexuals are the reason there’s no ice cream in the freezer…homosexuals get into your brain and screw around in there…Satan is a homosexual...homosexual athletes are an abomination to society and should be rounded up and shot…”
"Did I say that?” he asked.
“Maybe. I might have dreamed that one. But that’s beside the point. I mean, honestly, how can I possibly trust anything you’re saying after all the negative stuff I’ve heard in the past?” I asked. Ryan giggled. “What?”
“Look at your brother,” Ryan whispered. I looked towards Dylan, who was standing on the island, juggling pears. As I watched, he started humming the circus tune that you hum when you juggle.

He said, "Cheer up, I know you're down." She said, "Why should I cheer up?" He said, "Because it's only a game. And no matter what, it'll always be okay, because you've still got me." She smiled to herself and wiped the drying tears from her face. Two months later, he crushed her heart and spirit. She said, "So much for it'll always be okay," the tears now rolling down her face again.
(I just made this up, but I really wanna use it somewhere. Then beat joshercakes over the head with it. course he doesn't know. he couldn't. or maybe he does and he just reallllly likes to annoy the shit out of me. but that's mean. and, to be perfectly honest, so is he. but ... a,bdajkbdajkfdkanlsdasbnd. f4f4f4)

My favorite song from High School Musical is Bop to the Top, and my favorite song from High School Musical 2 is You are the Music in Me (Sharpay's Version), and my favorite song from High School Musical 3 is Senior Year Spring Muscial Medley, and also Just Wanna Be With You. My favorite song from Camp Rock is Hasta la Vista, although I'm fond of Too Cool. My favorite song from Hairspray is (The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs. My favorite song from Wicked is No Good Deed. My favorite song from RENT is Take Me or Leave Me, even though I love La Vie Boheme to death. And the beginning of Goodbye Love is amazing. "Run away, hit the road, don't commit, you're full of s--!" Amazing song. I'll Cover You (Reprise) is so powerful.

If I was going to be in High School Musical, I'd want to be Sharpay. If I was going to be in Camp Rock, I'd want to be Tess. If I was going to be in Wicked, I'd want to be Elphaba. (Even though I'd do a great job at G(a)linda (Yeah, I can hit those notes. Believe it.)) If I was in RENT, I'd want to be Maureen. (Even though being Mimi would be fun.) If I was in Harry Potter, I'd want to be Hermione.

My Stories: (Titles are subject to change) (Underlined titles are currently posted)

Forever and Ever (Ryella, Troypay, Chaylor, Jelsi. Starts on the first day of Senior Year. Troyella at the beginning. Mixed POV, third person. I've started posting this. My first fic.)

Closure. (Troyella, Chaylor, Jelsi, Troypay, Ryella, Zekepay. It's been five years since Sharpay and Ryan had seen their friends. How much has really changed? Sequel to Who's Getting Married number 4. Ryan's POV, third person.)

And Then It All Changed (Ryella, Troypay, Chaylor, Jelsi. Starts the Saturday before the first day of Senior Year. Troyella, Zekepay at the beginning. Mixed POV, first person. Not yet posted.)

The Board of Secrets COMPLETE!! (Tryan is the main thing. some Chaylor and Zekepay. Also Ryella, Ryelsi, Troyella, Jelsi, Troypay, and some of the other couples, mentioned really briefly. It really is a Tryan, but it takes a while to get there. (Tryan begins Chapter 8.) Ryan's POV, first person. My first slash.) (Ohmigod, I can't believe I'm done writing this! 22 Chapters, and an epilogue. It's so sad!)

Prequel to the Board of Secrets: Middle School Musical. COMPLETE!!(TroyxChuckie (haha, Truckie), Chadpay, Troypay, Troyella, etc. Set five years before the Board of Secrets. Troy's POV, first person. It's hilarious, btw. It's about Troy and Chuckie's previous relationship(s) and ends at the very end of HSM3.)

Sequel to the Board of Secrets: 17 going on...28? (17-year-old Troy wakes up to find himself ten years older...with children, and all he wants is his boyfriend back. Tryan, Troypay. Also, Zekepay, Chaylor, Jelsi, Drewella, Dylecca, Jimara, Chustin, and (heaven forbid) Truckie and Troyella. (Oh and Chraddie and Nac (and Shawnana, Diolette, Jarah, and Fellen. Maybe Chanielle) for anyone who knows who they are, like my Mom, me, and my roommate, Cait.) Idea comes half from Family Guy, half from an episode of Jimmy Neutron I saw this one time, and half from 13 going on 30. Troy's POV, first person.)

The Board of Secrets: The Great Beyond (Consider it like the Bonus Features on the DVD. It picks up from Troy's 18th birthday party and fills you in on all the missing little details between The Board of Secrets and 17 going on 28. Pairings: Oh, let me think... Tryan, Chaylor, Zekepay, Jelsi, Truckie, Troypay, Chustin, Jimara, Dylecca, Troyella, and maybe Drewella. (As well as Chraddie, Nac, Diolette, Jemmy, Jarah, Fellen, Zoe, Camanda, Seththa, Simphie, Kyia, Jemily, Ricky&Rachel, RayRay, Japphire, Meter, Brogan, Trashley, Luji, Chanielle, Hexi, Deaghan, Jindsey, and Lolly. Even though I made every single one of those up. There's also a little of my new favorite pairing, Chayze, who I'm very sorry to announce do not make it. It's unfortunate, I know. But I love them soo much. It's so sad. Also maybe a little Charah, who I also love love love.)

Life As We Know It (Zanessa, Jashley, Lashley, and whatever else (like Chramantha and Rylesya). A fictitious story that is literally about when the cast of HSM comes and visits me at my college. My POV, first person.)

Who's Getting Married? (It's a series...I have 13 written at the moment. It's basically HSM wedding oneshots, with the added mystery of not knowing who exactly is getting married until the very end. It's also usually a mystery of who's telling the story. Always first person, though. It's basically any pairings. See FAQs for pairings.)

Give You Up (Tryan. also Chyan and Troyella. Troy Bolton has a secret. No, he doesn't have a third arm, or an illegitimate child in Canada. It's better than that. It's Ryan. But what happens when Ryan decides he can't continue it? Ryan's POV, first person. ONESHOT. complete.)

The Six Degrees of Lucas Grabeel (Chadella. I know, weird right? Ever heard of the six degrees of Kevin Bacon? Same concept. The basic idea was that, at three o'clock in the morning, getting Chad and Gabriella together over a game of the Six Degrees of Lucas Grabeel was a good idea. Is it still? I don't know. You tell me. ONESHOT, complete. No POV.)

The Parent Trap (The only Troyella story you'll ever get out of me. As of yet. It's about Troy and Gabriella's twin daughters, Ashley and Vanessa, and they meet for the first time in memory at Camp Walden for girls in Southern Maine. Well, if you've seen the movie (with Lindsey Lohan) you know what happens next. Or do you? Hmm, major plot twists to come, and the rest of the Wildcats are sure to turn up.)

X-Over of Epic Proportions: untitled as of yet. (Tryan, Zekepay, Jelsi, Chaylor, Harry/Ginny, Romione. Ryan's POV, first person. Cross over of HSM and HP, and maybe some other things (for instance, bad Star Trek jokes). A really good idea to a kid sitting at a computer reading HSM fanfiction at 2am and listening to RENT. It's officially ridiculous, but I like it. Should be posting some of the ridicularity soon.)

HSM meets GREEK. (My favorite movie, and my favorite TV show. Others can do it, why can't I? Tryan, Zekepay, Chaylor, Jelsi, Chuckie/Justin, Evsie (ick), Caspie, Rusty/Jen K, Calvin/Heath, Frevan(!) (aka standard GREEK relations). The nine students from East High (and also Chuckie!!) end up at Cyprus-Rhodes University, and they rush. Interesting things happen. Spoilers for Season Two. No POV.)

Hey There Delilah. (Chyan, Troypay. Brief mentions of past Rypay (twincest), and past one-sided Choy. Plus...some surprises. Basically, Chad and Ryan have been together for a year, and are now facing the prospect of going to different colleges. Even worse, Chad and Troy are going to the UofA, and Sharpay and Ryan are going to Julliard in NYC. Which is wonderful, given their history. I got the idea from the story "Ditched" by StillThereForMe. Well, not really, but kind of. I had read it before I went to Vermont, and I couldn't get it out of my head, and I thought it was slightly plausible. Anyway, there's also past Chaylor, Troyella, Zekepay, and Zekella. Mixed POV.)

Our Time Now. (A sappy Ryella songfic to the song "Our Time Now" by the Plain White T's. Oneshot. Complete.)

You're Still the One. (Troyella, Zekepay, Chaylor, Jelsi, MarthaOC, Ryella. Just a little something to satisfy my Ryella needs. Third person, Ryan's POV. Troy and Gabriella, East High's "it" couple, still together, still going strong. Will their 5-year reunion change that?)

A Sophomore Summer. (It's slightly AU, meaning that HSM 1 and 2 never actually happened yet, but the Battle of the Bands kind of did. It's not as dumb as it sounds, trust me. Watching Camp Rock was like seeing HSM 1 and a half anyway, so why not take basically the same plot and insert the characters and songs we all know and love? Troyella, Zekepay, Chaylor, Ryelsi, Jartha.)

HSM meets the Suite Life. More interesting title to be forthcoming. (Everyone's four favorite basketball players are watching the Celtics vs. the Lakers in Boston, while staying at the Tipton. Troyella, Zekepay, Chaylor, Ryelsi (although I don't know where that's relevant), Jartha. Traddie too. Other characters from TSL will be: Zack, Cody, Moseby, London, Arwin, Carey, Corrie, Mary-Margaret.)

Because I Love You (Tryan. I don't know about this one, because it starts out mean, and then gets really fluffy, and I don't really like it. I wrote it in, like, half an hour during Chemistry, and I don't know. No POV.)

Just Friends. (Troy's with Ryan, who's with Gabriella, who's with Troy. And none of them really know. Or care. But what will happen when Chad gets mixed into the mix? Eventually Tryan and Chadella. Summary and ideas are clear in my head. not yet posted or titled. The words "Choyanella" and "Tryanella" are unofficial copyright to myself, because I thought of them. If you thought of them first, I would love to fight you for them. Mixed POV, third person.)

Hopeless (It's got evil!Ryan in it. Because I like him, although he's difficult to write, but fun. Troy and Ryan are..."practicing" dancing. Ahem. It gets...well, things heat up. No POV, third person.)

A Love Rectangle Plus One...Whatever that is. (Some huge love...rectangle plus one...or several more...who knows. One of the three following possibilities: 1) Troy wants Ryan, but Ryan wants Gabriella, and Gabriella wants Chad, but Chad wants Sharpay, and Sharpay wants Troy. 2) Troy wants Ryan, who wants Gabriella, who wants Jason, who wants Kelsi, who wants Zeke, who wants Sharpay, who wants Troy. And Taylor and Chad are just looking at this like the people involved are insane. 3) Jason wants Kelsi, who wants Ryan, who wants Gabriella, who wants Troy, who wants Taylor, who wants Chad, who wants Sharpay, who wants Zeke, who wants Sharpay. The third one kind of sucks. Anyways, it's something like that. good ideas, too much to do to think about it right now. Choyskanellapaylorsi. (Pronounce: Choy-scan-ella-pay-lor-see) (Chad, Troy, Jason, Zeke, Ryan, Gabriella, Sharpay, Taylor, Kelsi.))

Love is Seriously Complicated. (Complete. It's a Troypay twoshot. "Do you still love me?" "No, but I so, so want to." Based on a true story. If you're good, I might tell you about it.)

Seven Things. (Complete fourshot. CHAYLOR. Based on the song "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus. I, personally, love the song and think it's about Nick Jonas, because I like Niley, but that's beside the point. The point is, it's not very long, but it's worth your time.)

You Know You Love Me. (A HSM story, loosely based on Gossip Girl. Ish. Troyella, Troypay, Ryella, Chaylor, Tryan? Who knows.)

Step Up and Be That Guy For You. (An AU Gossip Girl story. You heard. It’s basically what would have happened if it turned out Blair had been pregnant. Chuck/Blair, Serena/Nate.)

The Fame and The Fortune and More. (Ryan didn't like the guy he used to be. So he ran away, thinking that would solve his problems. It didn't, his problems got worse. And now...he's back. And determined to right his wrongs. Not really sure of the pairings yet, i think Ryelsi...definitely past Tryan, Chyan, and Ryelsi at the very least. Mentioned Zekepay, perhaps Troyella.)

My Next Big Project:

Nothing.

No, I’m not shitting you. The Board of Secrets Trilogy has left me very sad. I can’t even begin to think of life without my wonderful OCs, especially Chuckie and Sarah (And now JJ, too), who I’ve taken a very fond liking to, but Drew and Justin and Greg and Brett as well. And Karen (tear). If somehow I could make another story with them in it…

A little more about me is due, I think.

I'm a girl. My name is Samantha. I'm obsessed with HSM. I have a sister who isn't that special, except in the head. Ha. I'm kidding. But she is a Troyella supporter. Sigh.

I have this weird obsession with spelling. I love to dance and sing. My neighbors constantly get annoyed with me. I have blond hair, and blue eyes, or at least I like to think so.

I have basically no life. I'm a major RENThead. I also like Legally Blonde: the Musical. If I'm repeating myself a lot, it's not my fault. I’m also a Team Jacob fan. You may not like it, but it’s not your business where my Twilight allegiances lie.

My absolute favorite story on here has got to be "Picking Up the Pieces of a Lost Night" by Squall Thrawn. It's an amazing story. You should read it again, because if you haven't read it yet, you are a sinner. That's how good it is. I'm recommending it. Yeah.

I'm also a big fan of the Tryans written by weaksauce, which are absolutely fantastic. "After the Music" and the prequel "Thank Goodness" and you should read them too. And, of course, none of this applies if you don't like slash or Tryan. I do. But you're entitled to your own opinions.

Also on my list of amazing stories are the trilogy of Tryan stories (By Moonlight, By Gravelight, and By Starlight) by BitterGrin. Amazing stories, a little scary, but I lived.

If you're a Chyan fan (I'm not really) you'll like "My Sister" by jsrsuperstar. If you happen to like both Chyan and Tryan, "Drama Little Secret" by StillThereForMe is awesome. If you like something longer, I would suggest "Boy Disease" by Jenwyn.

I'm not looking for dating, or a relationship, or any of that other stuff that facebook asks you for. I am, however, looking for both Waldo and Carmen San Diego. And also Candy Mountain, but only so I can sing with the letter "Y".

Did I mention I'm a review whore? Well, I am. But there's a plus for you, the reviewer. If you review my stories, I will absolutely look at your stories and, should I decided to read them, I will absolutely review them, because I have decided to review everything I read from now on, because it makes authors happy when readers review.

I have other random obsessions, but I'm tired of writing about myself right now. We'll talk later. Bye!

PS. I don't own High School Musical, Harry Potter, RENT, or anything ((ANYTHING)) else that I write about. Just so you know. Don't sue me, I don't deserve that.