I AM STILL WRITING, JUST WAITING FOREVER TO HEAR BACK FROM MY BETA.

11-18-17 Update: LOOKING FOR A NEW BETA. Writing on hiatus. If interested in being my new beta, pm me please. Bonus if you include what you have worked on or an edited version of one of my posted chapters.

A nickname of mine is valleygoat due to where I live and my personality. Another nickname is country because I love being outdoors and I wear a lot of earthy colors. A third one would be Eeyore because I've been told that I act a lot like the character and remind people of him.

Well I really enjoy reading so when my nose isn't in a book I'm reading fanfictions. I also really enjoy all the arts including music, art paintings and drawings and I love dancing.

well i hope you guys enjoy the stories that I write and I look forward to hearing from all of you. _

I'm kind of mad that only part of my pic for my profile is vislible, but oh well.

to all of you who visit my storyies please review. i keep track of how many visitors I get and i get mad when only like one sixth of my visiotors review. so if you visit anything written by me please please please please review

FYI I review every story that I read.

http:///index.cgi?action=display&board=sunny&thread=497&page=1 - story banners (out of date link, copies may be on facebook page)

friends account on devi even if its my nickname

Carrie's Halloween costume - http:///art/Carrie-s-Halloween-Costume-162701712

Alice's Halloween costume - http:///art/Alice-s-Halloween-costume-162703251

Rosalie's Halloween costume - http:///#/d3c525i

Bella's Halloween costume - colored - http:///gallery/#/d3c52ug

Edward's Halloween costume - http:///gallery/?offset=0#/d3fdgvu

Mark Wills - I Want to Know Everthing There is to Know About You - http:///play#MarkWills:EverythingThereIsToKnowAboutYou:1731704:s56781.23823.3993857.1.1.55_a633c5dce75a19872f3f434f768d9847 or whole, live version http:///mark-wills/tracks/everything-there-is-to-know-about-you--24578660

Diamond Rio - One More Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuE1XJ_uqOs

Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73cWfFEKAfE

George Strait - I Cross My Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i4raUtb_iI&feature=related

Bucky Covington - I'll Walk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muXJK0mrvgs

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you can read the message above paste it in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off!

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you are an Itachi fangirl and just cannot hold it in copy this on your profile

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile. (I freakin HATE that… and pink, ugh)

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you just sang the songs listed above to check if they did have the same tune.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!)

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. …Who doesn’t?...

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two goose are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, then why aren’t two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If your random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile

If someone has accused you of being bipolar when you're not, copy and paste this into your profile

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever gone so insane that your friends were scared of you the next day, post this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, oxIrishBella14xo, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

the US government may take wolves off the endangered species list. that means hunters and anyone can kill trap and skin wolves or kill them for the fun of it. IF YOU BELIVE THIS IS DOWN-RIGHT WRONG AND WANT TO VOICE YOUR OPINON OR PUT A STOP TO THIS COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE WITH YOUR NAME AFTER IT!! 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat

Name/nick name) : Carrie

2. Your Nobody name (Take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an "x" where you think it should go): exricar

3. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name pluss "izzle"): Carizzle

4. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Purple Wolf

5. Your Soap Opra name (your middle name and the street you live on): Nicole Highland Park

6. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first): Mesca

7. Your Super Hero name (2nd fav color, fav drink): Green Tea

8. Your Witness Protection name (middle names of your parents): Sue Thomas

9. Your Goth Name (Black plus the name of one of your pets): Black Sweet Pea

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, ZeratheNightDancer, Acegik13, Ryuu-Chiyo, Akemi-Chiyo, Archangel's Requiem, Opresiminya,Black Demon Cat, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001, Emeraldman, ShadedHope, Orgaization of 13 Ninjas, Kaiora, HeartFlare05, RoxRox, Forgotten in Darkness, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, Valleygoat

If you ever heard voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you find people questioning your sanity, copy and paste this into your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be mean.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I love SHOPPING, so i MUST be rich.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

You know you live in 2007 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you think that those god-forsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you fell down a flight of stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried opening a door by pushing it when it said "Pull" or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination, copy and paste into your profile.

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read or started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you love to see people copy and paste things like these up on their profile from yours, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no matter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile.

FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would tell the person, "Thanks for the compliment", copy this into your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

Too many people try to smoke cigarettes, if you haven't then copy this to your profile

If you think Japan is cool copy this to your profile

If you speak a little Japanese copy and paste this to your profile

If all the Japanese you've learned, you've learned from watching Anime, copy and Paste this to your profile.The One Copy and Paste pretty Much Everyone's Gonna Put On Their Profile.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

10 Commandements of a Teenager!!

1) thou shall not sneek out when parents are sleeping. (why wait?)

2)thou shall not do drugz. (you can break this one, it not that important)

3)thou shall not steel from k-mart. (walmart has a bigger selection)

4)thou shall not get arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect)

5)thou shall not steel from thy parents. (every-1 knows grandma has more money)

6)thou shall not get in fights. (just start them)

7)thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)

8)thou shall not strip in class. (hooters pays more)

9)thou shall not think about having sex. (as nike sayz just do it)

10)thou shall not help old ladies cross the street. (just leave them in the middle)

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

19 reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

If you love Naruto couples, whatever they may be, as much as the show itself, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, NaruHinaxNejiTen, Goth Lolita, valleygoat

if you threaten inanimate objects put this on your profile

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"

13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.

15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?