Edward Cullen.
He doesn't pop his collar...
His shirt gets an erection when it touches him.

Well hello. Were you really bored enough to click on my profile? I'm sorry. There's nothing interesting about me except maybe the part where I've been to forks, as I live near it. The beach they filmed at? Well, as long as you wear a full body wet or dry suit(to prevent hypothermia), you can actually surf it. It's fun. But cold. They filmed near and in my home town, where I still currently reside. It was fun to watch the movie and recognize places that you've been, that you drive by all the time.

Not cool enough for you? Dang. Well, as long as you have nothing better to do than clicking on my profile, I may as well bore you some more:

POWER TO ALL THE MOTHERS WHO READ FANFICTION. It's not just for pre-teens and highschoolers!

NAME: Elle

AGE: 24, but I look way younger, and bcuzof that I've gotten some rude comments and stares when I have my son with me. No, I was not knocked up by my sixteen year old boyfriend while living with my parents in our double-wide.

Elle's 2009 Resolutions

-Read less fanfiction.

-Get a life(see previous).

-Listen to less crappy music.

-Find out how to trick husband into making dinner.

-NOT have another baby. Yeah, that was a resolution last year, too. Oops...

-Start running again. I have a strong urge to feel my lungs and body just burn. Gah. One of the best feelings EVAH.

-Drink more water.

Here's some random things about me:

I absolutely hate doing the dishes. I would rather scrub 10 toilets a day than do 1 load of dishes. Same with making dinner.

I have a secret desire to be anorexic. I know, I know. Shut up.

I LOVE running and swimming. And you know how it stings when you get chlorinated water up your nose? Yep, love that too.

But enough about me, I know you don't really care.

Alright, come and join my C2. You know you want to. Edward as an M-rated geek turns you on and makes you a little bit hot. Just admit it already. Do it. Click. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY RECOMMENDATIONS, LET ME KNOW.

ABOUT MY GEEKWARD C2:

Well, it started out with only true geeky stories. You know, computer genius that tucks his sweater into his pants and plays Dungeons and Dragons in his free time and is most likely going to die a virgin. Cue Bella Swan entrance. That's the kind of Edward that I originally added. But then, as my interests grew, I found it hard to not add certain ones. That Doctor Edward was kind of geeky, right? And that Professor Edward was a tad geeky, I guess, if I squint my eyes.

So clearly, GEEK EDWARD doesn't exactly fit much anymore, but you get the idea, right? Those are the kinds of stories that fit under my Geek Edward C2, and I would love if you recommended a story to me. BUT not just any story that kinda-sorta fits the profile. It has to be well written, good grammar, proper punctuation, and spelling. I absolutely HATE it when an otherwise good plot and interesting story is marred by crappy writing and editing. I don't care if you have a story you want added and it fits the profile. If it's not properly edited, it's not getting added. Sorry.

I'D REALLY LIKE TO ADD A STAFFER TO MY C2. IT'S KILLING ME THAT IT'S NOT COMPLETELY UP TO DATE. I CAN'T SCOUR THE SITE LOOKING FOR AWESOME STORIES LIKE I USED TO, AND I'M SURE I'M MISSING OUT ON A LOT. IF THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO'D BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING AN ACTIVE ROLE IN THE MANAGEMENT OF MY COMMUNITY, I WOULD BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. PLEASE PM ME.

I, SeekingJamestown, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the review revolution.
I dare you to join me.

life is all about ass. everyone is either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one.

This doesn't really pertain to anything, but I just have to say it. I've been reading the phrases like, "just a tad OOC," and "slightly OOC," in some fanfic summaries, which is fine and all, when that's correct. How, may I ask you, is "Edward's bisexual in this" and "just a tad OOC" fit in the same f-ing sentence?? Edward playing for both teams is only SLIGHTLY out of character? WTF?

DISCLAIMER: (AND THIS GOES FOR EVERYTHING THAT I POST HERE ON FANFICTION.NET)I, SEEKINGJAMESTOWN, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE OWN ANYTHING ANYONE RECOGNIZES FROM MY WRITING. IT BELONGS TO THE AUTHORS WHO HAVE PUBLISHED IT. I MEAN, REALLY, IF I WAS JK ROWLING OR STEPHANIE MEYER, WOULD I REALLY BE WASTING MY TIME WITH FANFICTION? NO, I'D BE OUT SHOPPING MY LITTLE HEART OUT. AND I'D HAVE A NANNY AND A HOUSEKEEPER. AND I'D BE BANGING ROB PATTINSON AND HIS BEAUTIFUL BONE STRUCTURE EVERY NIGHT.

P L E A S E R E A D:

SO, MY COMPUTER IS FAIL, AND I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. UNFORTUNATELY, REAL LIFE IS KICKING ME IN THE HYPOTHETICAL BALLS. THAT MEANS THAT I WILL NOT BE AROUND MUCH ON FOR. . . AT LEAST THE NEXT 2 MONTHS. THAT KILLS ME, IT REALLY DOES.

ANY WRITING THAT I'VE DONE, I'VE NO WAY TO TYPE AND SEND IT TO YOU. THERE'S A FEW PEOPLE HERE ON THAT ARE HELPING ME WITH SOME STORIES THAT I'M WRITING. IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHERE I AM, I'M NOT HERE, AND YOU WILL NOT BE RECEIVING ANY WORKINGS OR MESSAGES FROM ME.

IF YOU WANT YOUR STORY ADDED TO MY COMMUNITY: PLEASE, SEND ME THE INFO. I WILL GET IT, JUST NOT FOR AWHILE. SO IF YOU CAN BE PATIENT, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. YOU CAN ALWAYS SEND IT TO MY STAFFER, EVEN THO SHE'S NEVER ADDED ANYTHING, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S STILL AROUND, BUT. . .

SO ANYWAYS, I'M I LITTLE UNIMPORTANT FISH HERE IN THE WORLD, SO I'M SURE THAT THERE'S NOBODY THAT WILL ACTUALLY READ THIS, BUT IT DOES EASE MY MIND, PUTTING THIS HERE.