STUPID PRODUCT LABELS: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (Yeah, that's kind of hard to do, you know, use while sleeping).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside (How fun to be a shoplifter).

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (I never would have guessed).

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (Really? Amazingly ingenious).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down (Too late!).

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating (Fascinating. You learn something new every day. Like, the people who write this things are FREAKING MORONS!).

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (Well, it would save time...).

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery (That is why we have a 15 and over limit where I come from, because of all those toddlers driving around cars and machinery while using Boot's Children's cough medicine).

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness (Wouldn't that be good?).

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children (Oh. Okay...)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (And my other options were...).

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use (Geez, what other use is that? I wonder...).

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts (Oh wow. I didn't know that before).

On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts (Amazing. No one could ever do that without the help of the instructions on this packet. Great).

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands (I believe that was implied).

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly (So you don't want kids jumping off buildings, arms outstretched?).

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For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to.

Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?

If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over.

Better yet, if you can't beat them at their own game, beat them with a stick instead.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality.

If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."

"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."

"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."

"MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?"

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do, kill me?"

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster."

"I’m not paranoid… WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!"

"Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

"Whose sick joke was it for the fear of long words to be called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia?"

"You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor."

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired ?.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

" To start press ANY key, where's the Any key ?"

Dont worry about death, the most warning any of us get is; "Mind the Bus!" "What bus?" SPLAT!

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God created whiskey to keep the irish from conquering the world.

If you're lucky enough to be Irish, then you're lucky enough

Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die

ts go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (It's kinda hard...). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

"I am a girl who reads more than talks,

I would rather sit in a tree alone than in a crowd of people,

They offered me popularity

more than once

but I turned them down,

I am a girl who doesn't gossip about the least popular girl with her friends

I am that least popular girl.

I am also a girl who prefers few great friends than a lot of backstabbers those other girls call friends

but I am not a girl who cries,

I will not get pushed down,

words will never hurt me,

I am rising,

I am stronger

than all those other girls who insult

and I always will be too"

Copy and paste this is you are like this girl. I bet 97 percent of you won't because you don't want to admit you're not popular