"A Smile Is a Curve That Can Straighten Out A Lot Of Things"

Name: Moira

Grade: Freshman

Height: 5'4

Age: 14

My otp (one true pairings)

Kickin' It : Kick, Jace, Kedddie, Millie

ICarly: Seddie, Gibarly

Doctor Who: 10th doctor (David Tennant) and Rose Tyler Whouffle (11th and Clara)

Big Time Rush: Kendal and Lucy, and Logan and Camille

Victorius: Tori and Andre, Beck and Jade, and Robbie and Cat

Wizards of Waverly Place: Alex and Mason, and Justin and Juliet

The Fosters: Brandon and Callie

Austin and Ally: Austin and Ally, Trish and Dez

Pretty Little Liars: Aria and Ezra, Spencer and Toby, Hanna and Caleb, Emily and Maya

That boy you punched in the hall today? Commited suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut today? She's a virgin. The boy you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the stairs the other day? She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat? She's starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of his ugly scars? He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don't!

Repost if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won't, but repost this if you are the 1% with a heart.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted. "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your hear

When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.

Then on night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If you love your mom, copy and paste this in your profile. If you don't, then you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile.

My name is Skylar

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless and

Lifeless on the floor.

My name is Skylar

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him,

''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied.

''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy.

"Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Repost this if it touched your heart, or ignore it like this never happened and be known as a heartless jerk.

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me.

These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed "No, Daddy Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said, "I'm so sorry."

She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.

It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

Put this on your profile if it touched your heart.

THE LAW OF FRIENDS

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. REAL FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will be embarrassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days REAL FRIENDS: Will be singing along with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Don't see you if you're sick REAL FRIENDS: Are there when you're sitting in a bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FAKE FRIENDS: Call you retarded for running through bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" REAL FRIENDS: Are screaming and running with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect

you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this. REAL FRIENDS: Will copy and paste this

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

23) Look around and announce in a creepy,demonic voice,"I must find a more suitable host..."

HOW GUYS FLIRT: 1. He stares at you a lot. 2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting ) 3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you 4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school. 5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. 6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process 7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk. 8. You hung up on him. He called you back. 9. You were invited by him to a group outing. 10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. 11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder... 12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation 13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. 14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.) HOW GIRLS FLIRT: 1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name. 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. 3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you. 4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. 5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face. 6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. 7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. 8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. 9. You catch her staring at you. 10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. 11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot. 12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? ) 13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible Now make a wish... Ok stop! Your wish will come true if you repost this if you don't repost this then you will never get asked out or you will lose the one u love?! repost this in 15 min and your wish will come true in 5 days. repost this in 10 min and your wish will come true in 3 days. repost this in 5 min and your wish will come true in 1 day.r profile

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity. (Maybe its true,I'm not gonna risk it!)

This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

I: 1 . Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out

2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails

3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it

4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking

6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head

7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand

9.Tried to push open a door that said pull

10. Tried to pull open a door that said push

11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion

12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else

14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave

15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair

16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble

17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it

18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard

19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name

20.Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on

22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.

23. Have run into a closed door

24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else

25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it

26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke

27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer

28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan

29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it

32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside

33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else

34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store off their property

35.Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot

36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on

37.Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in

38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard

39. Walked into a pole .

40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident

41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house

42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on

43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small

44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it

45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.

46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it

47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up

48. Have poked yourself in the eye

49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on

50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test

52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil

53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it

54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.

55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were

56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on

57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.

58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it

60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny

61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa

62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it

63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence

64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person

65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side

66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions

67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong

68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it

69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.

70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face

72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb

73. Ran into a door jamb

74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid

75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it

76. Have purposely licked playground sand

77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band

78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't

79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people

80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out

81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off

82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again

83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back

84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about

85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair

86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone

87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird

88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria

90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.

91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil 92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them

93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper

94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours

95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story

96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs

97. You have spelled your own name wrong before

98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

101. Haven't realised there was no #13 or #59

The following was taken from WritersWayOfLife's profile (idk if she made it up. I don't think so but giving her credit in case) -TeddyBear98

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...I wonder...

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who the heck is drinking my water!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

"I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT"

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

If you ever wished you would talk to animals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber jumped of a building: Paste this on your profile if you are one of 5% who would smile, grab a seat with 3D glasses and sit back with a bucket of popcorn.While saying "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!"

In a world where you can be anyone, be yourself. No one can ever change you without your permission. Like in the movie Rags, JUST BE YOU!!!!!!!!!! There are too many people changing to fit in. If everyone decided to be themselves, wouldn't we all fit in? There wouldn't be any misfits, because we would all be wierd in our own way! So try it, go out and show the world the real you. No matter what people say, you are and always will be special.

Don't let people tell you you're worthless and nothing. It's probably just because they are insecure and your a beautiful human being inside and out. bullying happened on a daily basis, so don't be afraid to stand up to your bully. Tell them that you are no longertheir personal punching bag. Your are great and they can't change that! So I challenge you to go and tell everyone that bullies you to shut up and mined their own crap because you don't care. Also, if you see someone getting bullied off feeling down, help them up. Stand up for them and welcome them into your group. A few kind words can Deborah the difference of life and death to some people. So today go out and show someone that they are loved and cared for.

To Do List:

1. Stand up for yourself

2. Stand up for others and welcome them in like a family member. Make sure they know that you care about them.

3. Don't let yourself get bullied, tell your bully that you don't care about what they say

4. Believe in yourself and you can do anything

5. Be a friend to those you who need you the most

Against Racism

This happened on TAM airlines.

A 50-something year old white woman arrived at her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man.

Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.

"What's the problem, ma'am?" the hostess asked her

"Can't you see?" the lady said - "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't sit here next to him. You have to change my seat"

- "Please, calm down, ma'am" - said the hostess "Unfortunately, all the seats are occupied, but I'm still going to check if we have any."

The hostess left and returned some minutes later.

"Madam, as I told you, there isn't any empty seat in this class- economy class. But I spoke to the captain and he confirmed that there isn't any empty seats in the economy class. We only have seats in the first class."

And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued

"Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class. However, given the circumstances, the commandant thinks that it would be a scandal to make a passenger travel sitting next to an unpleasant person."

And turning to the black man, the hostess said:

"Which means, Sir, if you would be so nice as to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."

And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene started applauding, some standing on their feet."

SHARE IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM

A black man walked into a room where a white man was sat.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realised his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love

98% of the world would have a breakdown if Justin Bieber was on the top of the Eiffel Tower saying he's gonna jump. Post this if you're of of the 2% sitting in the front, eating popcorn while yelling, "Do a flip!"

95% Of the girls in the world would cry a river if Justin Bieber was chosen for the Hunger Games,Repost this If you are the 5% that would just volnteer just to chase him around with a (Very) pointy stick! (Not a fan of the Hunger Games,but I luv this)

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

Why Do Boys Fall In Love With Girls?

(This was written by a guy) (Don't break this, its so sweet! :) 1. They always smell good even if its just shampoo. 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder. 3. How cute they look when their asleep. 4. The ease in which they fit into our arms. 5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world. 6. How cute they are when they eat. 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while. 8. Because they are always warm even though its minus 30 outside. 9. The way they look good no matter what they wear. 10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth. 11. How cute they are when they argue. 12. The way her hand always finds yours. 13. The way they smile. 14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight. 15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later... 16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight. 17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you". 18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you... 19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry. 20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something silly. 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt. 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we won't admit it). 23. The way they say "I miss you". 24. The way you miss them. 25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt anymore. 26. The way that she looks almost always happy around you

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they became everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of mind but of the heart. A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002. It is a love chain letter. In an hour you are supposed to repost this.

Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!

The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!! Congratulations!! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) post it with the title "Why do boys fall in love with girls?" After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which colour do you like more, black or white?

6. Name a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favourite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one)

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that won't last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

soulmate.

5. If you choose..

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do and will do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose..

California: You like an adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose..

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

female comebacks:

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you? Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I wanna give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this... If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

HOW GUYS FLIRT:

1.He stares at you alot.

2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process

7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You were invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible Now make a wish... Ok stop! Your wish will come true if you repost this if you don't repost this then you will never get asked out or you will lose the one u love?! repost this in 15 min and your wish will come true in 5 days. repost this in 10 min and your wish will come true in 3 days. repost this in 5 min and your wish will come true in 1 day

Copy and pastes

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or Emo.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.(honestly I hate politics it so confusing)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I STILL believe in MAGIC so I Must NEED a THERAPIST.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

repost this if u hate stereo types

Alex Russo taught me that family comes before anything else

Justin Russo taught me that knowledge can save lives

Max Russo taught me that being random is a blissful thing

Jerry Russo taught me that it's important to have a great teacher

Theresa Russo taught me that a mother's love can never be replaced

Harper Finkle taught me to always be myself

Mason Greyback taught me to never give up on someone

Juliet VanHusson taught me that true love conquers all

Dean Morantine taught me to always make good first impression

Zeke Beakerman taught me that the human mind is endless

Stevie Nicolas taught me that revenge can only lead to my demise

Keldo Russo taught me to live life to the fullest

Megan Russo taught me to never hold grudges

Huge Normous taught me that its okay to be different

Professor Crumbs taught me that honesty is always best

Dr. Evillni taught me to never tell my secerts to a fish

Mr. Laritate taught me to find the good in people

Ronald Longcape taught me love beats evil anyday

Rosie taught me to find my way out of the darkness

Tina taught me that you can reach your goal with a little preisitence

Felix taught me people can change

Gorogg taught me evil can't change someone's heart

Wizards of Waverly Place taught me to believe in magic.

Fun little test...

Take 3 minutes and try this... It is sooo freaky... NO CHEATING

Don't read ahead, that will spoil the fun. And no, it's not a don't read ahead or I'll kill you story,those are kinda stupid...

First, get a pen and paper. When you choose names, make sure you know them personally.

Most important, go on first instinct, don't think just write.

1. Write the number 1 until 11 down on your paper

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down two random numbers

3. Beside 3 and 7, write down two names of people of the opposite gender

4. Write anyone's name (Friend, family etc...) in the 4th, 5th and 6th spots

5. Write down four song titles in 8, 9, 10 and 11 (Instincts!!)

6. Make a wish...

And now, for the key of the game

1. You may (Don't have to) tell (The number in space 2) people about this game

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love

3. The person in space 7 is the one you like but can't work out

4. You care about number 4 the most

5. Number 5 knows you very well

6. Number 6 is your lucky star

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with number three

8. The song in 9 is for person 7

9. In the tenth space is the song that tells you most about your mind (Mine was slow down by Showtek, so funny...)

10. 11 Is the song telling you about how you feel about life

for me, being a hardcore Kick shipper and Kickin'it fan... Repost of you think the same...

You know you're too much of a Kickin' it fan when...

You hear one of your favourite songs and you yell "This is my JAAAAAM!"

You spend a whole day trying to write the Wasabi Code on a grain of rice

You sing the only verse og 'Love ninja' over and over again in your head

You eat saltine crackers and think of Jerry hugging his knees in fear

You tend to say "Holy Christmas Nuts!" a lot more

You get a new cat and name it Tip-Tip (I will think about it)

Live Action Role Playing seems a little cooler to you

You start to WOOOO and dance like Jerry when you are excited (Really, I do that all. the. freaking. time.)

You grab your chest and start hyperventilating when someone says they don't watch Kickin' it

You sprain your wrist trying to break a board, while your only argument the whole time was "If Milton could do it..."

You say "You probably shouldn't have done that" when someone upsets you

You scream "WHY?!" everytime you watch Karate Games

You try to slide down a hallway on a lunch tray to see if you could beat Milton's record

You have tried more than once to talk in the 'Swathmore Accent'

Eating a falafel is now on your to-do list

You like blue cheese a little less because Jack is allergic to it

You squeal out in happiness everytime you see a Kick moment

You watch YouTube vids about Kick over and over again

You wish Jack and Kim would just kiss already (My Kick needs to be statisfied!)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous FanFictions, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever snuck on FanFiction when you were supposed to be doing something else, say, your homework, copy and paste into your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

Favourite thing to do when bored: write poems,write stories and read mostly,

If you day-dream about your fictional characters and plot lines in class, copy and paste this onto your profile

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to you're profile

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.

My Mother...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Yeah, I'm a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Did you know that . . . Kissing is healthy. It's good to cry. Chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now, make a wish. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and your wish will be granted.

Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree. The

boys don’t want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

Bookworms will rule the world... as soon as we finish one more chapter

We're all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and call it love.

Dr. Suess

Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'it’s because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!!

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

Funny Phobias If you laugh at any of these, paste it in your profile!

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words Doctor: "You have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."Patient: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!"

Unatractivephobia- Fear of ugly people You walk outside to your car and some old women walking down the street and you run inside screaming.

Sophophobia- Fear of learning Mom: "Honey, what did you learn today?" Kid: "MOMMY!! DON'T SAY THE 'L' WORD!!!"

Scolionophobia- Fear of school Kid: "But Mommy, you're a teacher, what do you mean you don't like school?" Mom/Teacher: "I can just hear all those fingernails on the chalkboard!!"

Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking Wife: "Just think how wonderful a trip to Paris would be..." Husband: "I WON'T DO IT!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"

One day in class, a teacher asked the students if they could tell future-self something now, what would they say. And as each student struggled to find the words, the girl who sat in the back corner was having the same problems as her peers. Except she asked help from her teacher, asking her what exactly would be right to say. The teacher answered simple, she just asked her what would she like to hear if she was her future-self. Without missing a beat, in a blink of an eye, the girl knew exactly what she wanted to tell herself. And the response she told the teacher broke her heart. Because the girl who sat quietly, the girl who couldn't trust, didn't want to trust, the girl who thought the teacher didn't care about her, simply responded, "Why were you so stupid back then?"

And at that moment, the teacher realized she thought nothing of herself. The girl who might not have cared each time the teacher was lecturing, the girl who likes distance better than closure, couldn't see her potential. She couldn't see how beautiful she actually was. And the teacher was dumbfound for a second as she tried to figure out how could she think so poorly of herself. Regaining her composure quickly, the teacher then asked her why she thinks that she is dumb. And when she heard her response, the fact that she believed the words that were leaving her mouth a hundred percent made the teacher's heart break even more as she said because she is dumb.

After asking more questions, the girl finally told her teacher that she is dumb because she makes wring decisions. And at that moment the teacher was left with two decisions. She could help her see her potential by saying that she's not dumb and all the cynical words that people tell you when they don't really care but want to make you feel better or she can just share her simple story. A story that for most people doesn't mean anything.

Looking her in the eyes, the teacher said, "You know you're not dumb. It's just called not taking responsibilities. Now I want to tell you a secret of mine. But i trust you enough to know you're going to keep it. When i was in my junior year, i made the worst mistakes possible. Junior year is meant to be the best year of your high school career for when you apply to college. And at my time, college was some fantasy that only happened to people who weren't me and my family. No one had ever gone to college, and I was the first one to attempt at it. I was going to be the one who made a difference, the one who showed our family that the impossible could be possible. My parents were looking up to me, my friends and relatives were looking up to me, my church members were cheering for me. What i had been working for all my life, since kindergarten was now finally come to it's height, and i froze. The girl who had gotten a scholarship to a private school, the girl who challenged herself to take the hardest classes to ensure she could make her dream of going to college into a reality, the girl who never got lower than a B-, she cracked. And that year, I did horrible the second semester of school. Three A's, three B's, and a D to complete the second part of the year. Now maybe if money wasn't a big issue in applying to college, it might not have been a problem. But my family didn't have money. We were all depending on my grades to pay for my college and I had just sabotaged it within a couple of three months. And the sad part of it wasn't because I was dumb or stupid. Because i know that I'm not the smartest person, but i know I'm not the dumbest either in my class, i just didn't want to take responsibilities."

The girl was shocked to find that such a well put person, ever had to struggle for something. But that just shows how little we know of the people who are in our lives, whether we choose for them to be in them or not. The teacher didn't need her to ask how she over came it, she just kept talking, "I got bad grades for a lot of reasons. My mom got sick, my long lost father decided to show up out of nowhere and act like we knew each other for our entire lives, we didn't have enough money to pay the bills for my mom's sickness. And my mom made sure i didn't have to work to help besides the occasional babysitting gig i would do, but i lost something so important. I lost hope in myself. And at that moment i did think i was stupid. And after i got my grades, I had realized what i had done but it was too late. So i only had two choices when i went back to school. I could not care and believe in myself, like i had done the last semester, or i could stand tall even though i feel down. I could believe that i could still get a scholarship to college. And even though i knew it would be easier to give up, i knew i didn't want it. So the only thing i did, was learn from my mistakes and i held my head proud as i walked into school on my first day even though i deeply terrified that at any moment i could fall again. And it was hard as more hardships came that year of its own. But i made it to college somehow and now i am here."

The girl was overwhelmed by the information she got. She never knew a person so different could somehow be so much closer to her. And out of nowhere she asked the teacher opinion of her new statement that she would tell herself. She simply said, "The problems you faced four years ago made you stronger."

This girl then turned out to do well. Every time that she did do a mistake from then on she remembered that she had the choice to make more destruction or use her second chance to make a difference. We always have a choice after a mistake. And it could feel at moments that it's at the end of the world, but it's not. You'll grow from them and they make you who you are part of your past. Just remember to believe in yourself and don't believe the people who say you are what you do, the mistakes you commit. Because what you stand for, what you believe in yourself, the person you are, is worth so much more than you'll ever see. Please share this if you think we all have second chances even when we think we don't.

Will you still love when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? -Lana Del Rey

We never really grow up. we just learn how to act in public

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems. I am tired of solving them for you

I'm not a one in a million kind of girl, I'm a once in a lifetime kind of woman

The difference between life and school is that in school, you are taught a lesson and then you are given a test; in life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson

Nobody said it was going to be easy. They didn't give you lies by telling you cheats. They just said it was going to be worth it. Now it's up to you to work hard and get what you deserve.- Smileysteph

Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle-Jon acuff

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain / And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name / You're so in love that you act insane / And that's the way I loved you / Breakin' down and coming undone / It's a roller coaster kinda rush / And I never knew I could feel that much / And that's the way I loved you- Taylor Swift

It'd be easier to give up. It'd be easier to not hear the criticism of people who think I can't make it. But I don't. Because if I did, I'll just be giving them the green light to say, I knew she couldn't make it.- smileysteph

"Baby I just ran out of band aids / I don't even know where to start / cause you can bandage the damage / you never really can fix my heart" -Demi Lovato

When I was five years old,my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.

Nowadays people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing- Oscar Wilde

It's hard to know what to do when everything is going wrong. You keep you chin up, your heart strong but your demons constantly remind you of what's not right. So you paint a smile on your face and act like everything's alright as you wonder if you are doing the correct thing or not. You try to find which risks are worth taking and which decisions will make things better. And sometimes you feel like your at the edge of the breaking point. But those small moments of grace, those little snips of seconds where you are completely free of every worry, of every fear, when you're completely happy; makes you realize that life isn't always easy. In fact lot's of times it comes back to bite you. Especially when you're not looking. But it's those people that matter, those that love you, the ones who let you cry on their shoulder when you're about to collapse. The crazy memories of deciding to go to Dennis at 1 in the morning and when you accidentally fall down from a chair, but you save your slice of pizza that was in your hands to only have your best friend take it away from you. It's the feeling that comes from being the cause of someone's smile that makes this little thing called life, possible. And better yet, it even makes all of this craziness worthwhile. It reminds you that you might not have the strength to always keep your head up. But you have those that will lift it for you when you can't. All I can let you know is stay strong, things will get better... they always do. -Smileysteph

I hope that I'll never wake up and realize that I've been living the life of someone else instead of mine and be trapped to never live the life I wish I could.

GEEK
You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter. You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.

You get straight A's.

You love/like reading.
You were/are in band.
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like wearing jewelry. (Eh. Once in a while.)
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.( I own about two.)
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.( No. I love Star Wars.)
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of everything.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile..

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, evil or annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know how to laugh at yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile

I'm a pirate! Arrrg you? Copy and paste if you are... NOW!

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile

If you are random, and you don't care, copy and paste this to your profile

If you love rainstorms, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro

if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your pro

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just start laughing like a nut-case,just to see peoples reactions-copy and paste this on your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (People often think I'm talking to them... until they realise I'm answering myself back...)

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (And chocolate)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (Falling off actually... I'm missing two keys and another one is broken).

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. "

(Copy and paste these,if you laugh!)

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same asunique, than weird is good. I am Weird and PROUD OF IT!

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Don't hate yourself in the morning- sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm smiling. That alone should scare you.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.

I'm being nice. That means I'm plotting against you.

Sarcasm is just one service I offer.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

The buddy system is essential: it gives the enemy something else to shoot at.

If you think I'm weird, you should meet my friends.

Most people are stupid. It's mostly because they think they're smart.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

Smart is sexy.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Perfect men are only fictional.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

When in doubt, make up words!

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!

Some boys are like Slinky's . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you. (Amen!)

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--I'm not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up?

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

The statistics of insanity is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your enemy's eyes.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder.

Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes

Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it..

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with!

Toes arent needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

If you know me, chances are you hate me

Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through

The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot

I can't change the world. Only sit back and critisize it.

Barbie teaches your kids it's ok to dress like a slut as long as you're made of plastic.

You can look at life in two different ways; You either wake up late and its time to get up, or you wake up really, really early and its time to go back to sleep

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you...

I'm not anti-socal,I just dont like you!

I am not weird... just plotting

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say pscyho like it's a bad thing (some people just don't understand)

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Normal people worry me.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I don't need your attitude. I got one of my own

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

Cute but psycho- things even out.

A secret admirer is only a stalker with stationary...

15 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

Repost this if you laughed...

1. Make a trail of lemonade going to the rest rooms.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile (Okay,everyone better copy this one)

Copy and paste if you just wanted to copy and paste this.

This is Kitty.

Yaaaay kitty!

Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

( 0.0 )

(v v)o

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal (Or both), copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson

If you've ever felt like someone(thing) was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever bursted out laughing in a silent room over something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would (but you're not allowed too), live in a bookstore so that you would be the first person to get all the new books, copy and paste this into your profile

If you will never smoke, do drugs, or anything else in that field, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish that one day, Warrior cats need to attack your town because you think something exciting needs to happen, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile

Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)