To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile

54 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here"

16. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

17. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

18. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

20. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

21. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

22. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

23. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

24. Play with the automatic doors.

25. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

26. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

27. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

28. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

29. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

30. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

31. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

33.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

34. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

35. TP as much of the store as possible.

36. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

37. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

38. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

39. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

40. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

41. Take bets on the battle described above.

42. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

43. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

44. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

45. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

46. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

47. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

48. Two words: "Marco Polo."

49. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

50. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

51. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

52. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

53. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

54. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

99% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are that 1% sitting there with popcorn and 3D glasses screaming "DO A BACKFLIP" paste this onto your profile.

If Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber were standing on a building about to jump, 90% of the teenage population would beg them to come down safely. 8% would scream at them to jump. If you are a part of the 2% who would go up there and push them off, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001, HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, RosalieHale123, crystalwolfberri, The Sage of Spirits, Shiankumo Bani, The-3-Sueslayers, Phoenix of the Darkness, Agent Liberi, Author of Scifi, Seiren Sekito, Primitiveradiogoddess, MakenshiCrona, K8 Dunn, Welnakia, AngelofFluffiness, Thornsword, Tikipunch,

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

if you are planning to do all or one of these things then copy and paste it

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on !!

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"Hey, Sasuke? Why do people feel safer under blankets? It's not like a killer is going to come in here and be like, 'I'm going to kill yo – ah, shit, you're under a blanket! Never mind.'" - Three Words by SkyChasingDreamer

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"Is that anyway to speak about your child?" Sai grinned.
"There is no way I am the father to a stuffed toy! Do a freaking DNA test and you'll see!" - Blind Dates by N.V.9

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"Just leave me alone!"

"But I like you. And I'm supposed to stalk you until you swear your eternal love for me. Or at least go out with me. Or you could do both." - In the Middle of Confrontation bySimple-Minded-Idiot

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"I hope I didn't just see you copying off of Sasuke's paper, Naruto." Iruka said quietly.

"I hope you didn't see me either." - Lights in The Fridge by fowl68

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Naruto stares. The swan stares boldly back. "Please," Naruto says, getting up, "Don't tell me. I need to fall in love with you now."

The swan nods, and Naruto feels a sudden itch to eat swan broth. - Madame d'Aulnoy by fool.0

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"I think you killed him." Naruto remarked.

"It's my godly good looks. They stun everyone." Sasuke nodded. - Little People by N.V.9

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"There's a thin line between hate and homosexual man-feelings."

"Hey- wait, that's not-" - No Logic In Love by Quack says the T-shape

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"Yeah, the man with the onion ass."

"The man with the onion...what?"

Lina nodded, "An ass so beautiful," she wiped at a fake tear, "it brings tears to your eyes. Kinda like yours." - Beastly Callings by darkalbino

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"Like 'Retreat'?" Shika asked.

Somehow, I got the feeling I'd be retreating in every battle.- The Four Seasons by Rizember

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"Any last words?" Kiba asked solemnly.

"Yes, for should this be the day I die, remember this of me: I lived." - -Three Words by SkyChasingDreamer

It's getting dangerously close to my GCSE's, so don't expect frequent reviews; I'm going to be dedicating the majority of my time to revision now. Sorry.

GENERAL DISCLAIMER: I'm too lazy and forgetful to remember to put a disclaimer into all of my stories, so here is a general one:

I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS OF ANY OF THE STORIES THAT I WRITE, UNLESS THEY'RE OC'S, BUT THEY WON'T BE. I ALSO OWN NONE OF THE ARTWORK THAT I USE FOR COVER IMAGES.