![]() Author has written 18 stories for Misc. Movies, Merlin, Labyrinth, Codename: Kids Next Door, Once Upon a Time, Harry Potter, and Alice, 2009. UMM... Yeah this is me. I read quite a bit on here as well as write. I would like to add this disclaimer: I read ALOT!! However, I am a horrible reviewer. I do review if I have something to say other then I like your story. Now since I write I know sometimes that that is all you want sometimes, but I actually like saying something more. That being all said if I have marked your story that I am following the story or I have favorited it, that means I really like it. OK? Now if you put something like I'm not going to put up another chapter unless people review, I won't review out of principle. I don't take to blackmail, extortion or begging. You should update cause you like your story, not cause you are begging for compliments. If you are desperate for a critique, please print off a draft and give it to some one, even a stranger. Believe me I've had a waitress read my stuff before while she was serving me dinner. More of what I would like to say is that I am a hopeless romantic. I can find romance in anything and will defend my ships to the bitter end. Well I am from the wonderful state of Colorado and I don't care how illogical this may sound, but I won't hear a thing against Colorado. If you've met a rude person here, well more then likely they aren't from here they are probably from California. They all seem to move here for some reason. Not that I have any thing against anyone from California, just sometimes you people are very rude. But here is my last bit. For anything. I love to talk!! Really about anything, so don't be shy!! Drop a review or a PM!!! I am wanting to be a beta for anyone who wants one. I don't know how to make myself one, but I edit in my head anyways so I think it would be fun if I was official! I found this, and have permission to put it here! Everyone who hates Twilight this is for you! SEVEN REASONS WHY TWILIGHT SUCKS 7. Despite her obvious efforts, Valley author Stephanie Meyer is simply an awful writer. I feel horrible saying it, but at this point it has been made clear to the entire world. Sadly, I think her overly simple and the cliché writing is what makes the book so appealing. Cracking open a thesaurus doesn't make you a novelist. 6. These are the worst vampires in history. Rarely does Edward Cullen (and his friends) eat at all, despite being "vegetarian" vampires and feeding off animals instead of humans. And where did they gain this conscience? Why do they care if people die? They're vampires! 5. I want to hit Bella. Not only is she lacking any sort of emotional depth, but she allows herself to fall into the arms of a vampire. Any sane person would be weary of the situation. Not only that, but she proceeds to continue a bizarre codependent relationship with him. This "I love you, but stay away from me... but come here anyway," crap that Edward pulls is just unhealthy. On that note... 4. I want to hit Edward. Mostly because he refuses to end Bella's life by finally feasting on the blood he's wanted for so long and thereby ending my misery. Go on! She's delicious. 3. Edward is sooooooooooooooooo hot! OMG! Edward is sooooo freakin' dreamy. You know how I know? Because Meyer makes hundreds of references to his beauty in the book. All the while, he lives up to being like most hot guys - completely vacant of personality. None of his creepy behavior (watching Bella as she sleeps, following her around so he can save her) would be tolerated if he weren't 100 percent supa-fine. Which leads to point number 5... 2. Vampires sparkle! Who knew vampires were so flamboyant? Edward leads Bella to the top of a mountain, where he proceeds to take off his shirt to show her why he can't go in the sun. He's sparkly! Do you get it now Bella!? He can't go out into the sun because people will want to make handbags out of him! Despite that, Bella stares stupidly and tells him he's "beautiful." Surprise, surprise! Barf. 1. Bella sucks. And she's not even a vampire. She has no problem being a "strong" little sassy pants toward her parents, but she can't walk out the door without being victimized and therefore saved by the sparkly Edward. I've been aggravated with the whole depth of characters Bella has no character. She is the cliched new girl in school (because we haven't read a billion books like that). She talks like an uneducated 10 year old. (Can you say moron?) This girl is beyond stupid. No thoughts travel through her head at all. She can't take five steps without tripping, being hit on, or almost raped. She sounds like a whiny 37 year old woman, and not a “mature” 17 year old. Edward told her he was not sure if he was going to slaughter her or not as the capper for her date, and she thinks its romantic and exciting. Serious issues? I think so. In conclusion...she is a total Mary-Sue, an air head, boring, unbelievable, and her lack of character disturbs me. Edward Cullen. (Yeah, I'm going to tear apart your "dreamy' sparkly vampire boy with words, go cry.) All he does is boss Bella around and sit there and look "cool". He sounds like he has been in a coma since 1911 and just woke up from it. He is angsty, boring, and unbelievable - not to mention the dozens of holes in his 'vampire appearance'. Vampires sparkle like pretty fairies in the sunlight! Yeah, uhm, no. Vampires DIE in sunlight not sparkle. The author may have made it this way, but it is an inconsistency between the story and actual well known lore that's hard to ignore. Edward is 100 years old but seems to have never gotten past that angsty teenager phase. 100 years is a long time - most people are at peace with their inner teenage angst by the time they are 50. Uber pedophile: 100 years old and hitting on 17 year old girls. Edward has beautiful amber eyes, they are gorgeous. His amber eyes are so dreamy. Did I mention that he has amber eyes? It was subtle you might not have gotten it. Haha...if you read the entire thing, you're either really bored, or hate Twilight too. (CHEERS TO YOU :D) YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... You talk to yourself a lot. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..." You live off of sugar and caffine People think you're insane. You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then dissappear off the face of the earth the next. You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it. No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper. The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome. People think you have A.D.D. You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D. You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense. You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago. And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101. Copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions. Yeah, so that's all I think I have to say. Everyone have a nice day/nice night! Live Long and Prosper! |