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![]() Author has written 48 stories for Firefly, Harry Potter, and Mentalist. You people can have your Team Edward and Team Jacob. I have Team River!! PM if you're part of Team River! :-) (Or if you have any quotes you want to add to my wall) MY SISTER FINALLY WROTE SOMETHING GO READ IT AND WRITE NICE COMMENTS! HER PENNAME IS 2X2 HANDS OF BLUE. GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!! Some things about me: Firefly is my favorite show ever, no contest. River is (obviously) my favorite character, with Simon, Mal, and the Blue Hands close behind (And yes, I know the Blue Hands are the bad guys but they are just so freaking cool!) I NEVER write Rayne, no offense to Rayne fans, I just can't picture it. I love the creepy stuff, so it is rare for me to write sweet happy things, though I will do so on occasion. Even though I write post-BDM stuff, I almost always write Wash and Book alive because Wash dead? Not in my universe! And even though I know a prevailing theme in most post-Miranda fics is River is getting better, I don't write stuff like that because, well, the girl had her brain carved up and was tortured and turned into a psychic assassin and I'm pretty sure that no one can actually get a lot better from that, not to mention totally sane in the space of like one day. Because face it, Miranda is probably not the only super bad thing flying around in that crazy head of hers. (And no offense once again to people who write River like that, I'm sure your stories are great and I've probably read most of them, because I am addicted to Firefly fanfiction, it's just not my personal writing style). Okay: my sister just got a fanfiction account. Her username is 2x2 Hands of Blue (which I picked). SO GO AND BOTHER HER! Bother bother bother bother. As you know, I use song titles a lot as titles for my fics, and usually (if not always) get inspiration from the lyrics. So, here's a list: Radioactive-Imagine Dragons. Disturbia-Rihanna. Keep Me Young-Trent Dabbs. Keep The Streets Empty For Me-Fever Ray. Paradise-Coldplay. Skyfall-Adele. The Undertaker-Puscifer. Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield. Viva la Vida-Coldplay. Zombie-The Cranberries. Somebody That I Used To Know-Gotye Favorite Quotes Sherlock "Oh good, it's a serial killer. Love those, always something to look forward to." Sherlock Holmes-Sherlock "Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I can't find Bluebell anywhere. Please please please can you help?" "Bluebell?" "A rabbit John. Ah, but there's more. Before Bluebell disappeared, it turned luminous, 'like a fairy,' according to little Kirsty. The the next morning, Bluebell was gone! Hutch still locked. No sign of a forced entry...Ah! What am I saying? This is brilliant! Phone Lestrade, tell him there's an escaped rabbit." Sherlock Holmes and John Watson-Sherlock "Well, it's either that or play Cluedo." "No! We are never playing that again!""Why not?" "Because it's not actually possible for the victim to have done it Sherlock." "It was the only possible solution." "It's not in the rules." "Then the rules are wrong!" Sherlock Holmes and John Watson-Sherlock "Have you got a plan?" "Yes. We take you back out on the moor.." "Yes..." "And see if anything attacks you." "Okay. Wait, what?" John Watson and Sherlock Holmes to they guy in the Hounds of Baskerville-Sherlock "Punch me." "In the face?" "Yes, didn't you hear me?" "I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're talking, but it's usually subtext." Sherlock Holmes and John Watson-Sherlock "Everybody shut up! Don't move, don't think, don't speak. I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way. You're putting me off." Sherlock Holmes-Sherlock "You left this place wide open last night. What are you, an idiot or a drunk or a criminal?! Now quickly, tell me!" "All the doors and windows were properly shut and bolted. No one, not even me, went into their room last night. Please, you have to believe me!" "I do, I just wanted you to speak quickly. Ms. McKenzie will have to breathe into a bag now." Sherlock Holmes and Ms. McKenzie-Sherlock "No, this is a six. We agreed that it wouldn't be worth leaving my flat unless something is a seven." "When did we agree that?" "Yesterday." "I was in Dublin yesterday." "Well it's hardly my fault that you don't listen." Sherlock Holmes and John Watson-Sherlock "Brilliant Anderson." "Really?" "Yes, a brilliant impression of an idiot." Sherlock Holmes and Anderson-Sherlock "So we can read her e-mails, so what?" "Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street." Sherlock Holmes and Anderson-Sherlock "I'll be mother." "And there's a whole childhood in a nutshell." Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes-Sherlock "Please get rid of your boys." "Why?" "I dislike being outnumbered, it makes for too much stupid in the room." Sherlock Holmes and American hitman-Sherlock Watson enters room and sees tied and beaten up man. "What's going on here?" "Mrs. Hudson was attacked by an American. I am restoring order to the universe." John Watson and Sherlock Holmes-Sherlock Leverage "You don't throw crowbars at people Parker!" Elliot Spencer-Leverage "Damn it Hardison!" Elliot Spencer-Leverage "He has a problem, so who does he call?" "Ghostbusters!" "What are you, five?" Nathan Ford, Parker, and Elliot Spencer (In that order)-Leverage (Hardison shoots mob guy in the leg) "Nice shot!" "I was aiming for his head." "Give me the gun Hardison!" Elliot Spencer and Alec Hardison-Leverage. Firefly/Serenity "They just keep coming until they take back what you took. Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two. Hands of blue." River Tam-Firefly "This must be what going insane feels like." Simon Tam-Firefly "How about you shut your crazy mouth? Is that a fun game?" Jayne Cobb-Firefly "River, honey, you can come out now, he's putting the hair away." "But it'll still be there, waiting." Zoe Washbourne and River Tam-Firefly "My food is problematic." River Tam-Firefly "I can kill you with my brain." River Tam-Firefly "He looks better in red." (After slashing Jayne open with a knife) River Tam-Firefly "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vacuuming systems." River Tam-Firefly "Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots. Shut up!" Malcolm Reynolds (To Inara and then River)-Firefly "Well, my sister is a ship. We had a complicated childhood." Simon Tam-Firefly "She is starting to damage my calm!" Jayne Cobb (About River)-Serenity "This landing is going to get pretty interesting." "Define interesting." "Oh god oh god we're all going to die?" Wash and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that one out myself." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "I'd forgotten that you were moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?" "No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist." Book, Simon Tam-Firefly "We're not going to die. We're not going to die Bendiss, because we are just too pretty for God to let us die." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Now all we need are a couple of patients." "Corpses actually. For this plan to work, River and I need to be dead." "I'm starting to like this plan." Malcolm Reynolds, Simon Tam, and Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Have you ever read the works of Shan Yu? He featured himself quite the warrior poet, wrote volumes on war, torture, the limits of human endurance. He said that you can live with a man for forty years, eat your meals together, talk on every subject, and then tie him up and hold him over a volcano's edge. And on that day, you will meet the man." "What if you don't live near a volcano?" Shepherd Book and Simon Tam-Firefly "They took away Christmas. Came downstairs for all the shiny presents but all that was left was coal. And don't look in the closet, it's greedy, not in the spirit of the season." River Tam-Firefly "One of you is going to fall and die and I'm not cleaning it up." Malcolm Reynolds to River Tam and Kaylee-Firefly "Played with Kaylee. The sun came out and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears and ate the apple bits, functioned like a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark and chaos comes again. It's fluid, and I don't know what I am." "You are my beautiful sister." "I threw up on your bed." "Yep, definitely my sister." River and Simon Tam-Firefly "I can be terse. Once, in flight school, I was laconic." Wash-Firefly "I'm the one she swore to love, honor, and obey!" "That's-wait, she swore to obey?" "No, not, no." Wash and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "You want me to sleep with your wife? Would that make you feel better?" "It might." "Fine then, I will." "Screw you." "Get in line!" Malcolm Reynolds and Wash-Firefly "This is not enough for both men. But maybe perhaps, enough for one. So now you-" "Him. (points at Wash) I'm sorry, you were going to ask me to choose. Do you want to finish?" Niska and Zoe Washbourne-Firefly "Do you know the writings of Shan Yu?" "What, are you trying to start a book club?" Niska and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Preacher, don't the bible have some pretty specific things about killing?" "Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps." Zoe Washbourne and Shepherd Book-Firefly "Can't look, can't look." (Shoots three men without looking) No power in the 'verse can stop me." River Tam-Firefly "I heard you all took up arms in that little piece of action. How you faring doc?" "I don't know, I've never shot anyone before." "I was there son. I'm pretty sure you haven't shot anyone yet." Malcolm Reynolds, Simon Tam, and Shepherd Book-Firefly "What have I said about barging into my shuttle?" "That it was manly and impulsive?" "I believe my exact words were DON'T!" Inara Serra and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "This bounty on us just keeps getting more exciting." Simon Tam-Firefly "Jayne is a girl's name." River Tam-Firefly "Great. Another adventure in sitting." Simon Tam-Firefly "Mal doesn't want you to run into his blushing psychotic bride. If she finds out about you two, she'll turn you in before you can say...don't turn me in lady." Jayne Cobb to River and Simon Tam-Firefly "They set on me at Parth, these awful men-" "I didn't know these men." "They said they wanted ransom, but they sold me to slavers-" "Also, unknown to me." Yolanda/Bridget/Saffron and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Durran, this isn't what it looks like." "Well, if it looks like we're stealing your precious Lassiter, then that's exactly what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun though, that's new to me." Yolanda/Bridget/Saffron and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "I can speak a word and send a missile to that location in under three minutes." "You do that, you best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord." The Operative and Malcolm Reynolds-Serenity "Anybody there?" (River sticks her head around the door.) "Anybody else?" Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a rocket and-" Malcolm Reynolds-Serenity "Do not fear me, ours is a peaceful race. And we must live in harmony" Wash talking to the 'alien'-Firefly "This may come as a shock, but I'm not actually good at talking to girls." "Why, is there somebody you are good at talking to?" Simon Tam and Zoe Washbourne-Firefly "Oh my God it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar too." Wash-Firefly "So, do aliens live among us?" "Yeah, one of them's a doctor." Inara Serra and Kaylee-Firefly "I didn't know you were out there." "Yeah, kind of the point. Stealth. You heard of it?" "I don't think they covered that in basic." "Well at least they covered dropping your weapon so you can eat beans and get shot." "Yeah, I got a badge in that." Tracey and Zoe Washbourne-Firefly "First rule of battle little one, don't let them know where you are." "WHOO!! I'm right here. I'm right here!!" "Of course, there are other schools of thought." Zoe Washbourne and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Tracey, aren't you dead yet?" "Through no fault of my own." "Damn, I really wanted your beans." Malcolm Reynolds and Tracey-Firefly "What's going on? Did we get something fun?" (Kaylee stares at him then walks away. River comes up) "You are such a boob." Simon and River Tam-Firefly "That hat makes you look like an idiot." Alliance Commander to Jayne Cobb-Firefly "A man walks down the street wearing that hat, people know they're not afraid of anything." "Damn straight." Wash and Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Every well-bred petty crook knows that the small concealable weapons go on the left side of the table setting." Inara Serra-Firefly "I suppose you heard most of that." "Only because I was eavesdropping." Inara Serra and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Well, any friend of Inara's is a strictly business-like relationship of mine." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Wash, tell me I'm pretty." "If I were unwed I would take you in a manly fashion." "Because I'm pretty?" "'Cause you're pretty." Kaylee and Wash-Firefly "Inara, think you can stoop to being on my arm?" "Will you wash it first?" Malcolm Reynolds and Inara Serra-Firefly "How many babies have you delivered?" "As the primary? My first. You?" "Mine too." "Mine too." Inara Serra, Simon Tam, Inara Serra, and River Tam-Firefly "Who do you think is in there?" River Tam about the baby-Firefly "Well, my days of taking you seriously are certainly reaching a middle." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Well, looks can be deceiving." "Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver." "Well said. Wasn't that well said Zoe?" "Had a certain poetry to it sir." Malcolm Reynolds, Jayne Cobb, Malcolm Reynolds, and Zoe Washbourne-Firefly "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Little River is getting more colorful by the minute. What will she do next?" "Well, it's a toss up. Either blow us all up or rub soup in her hair." "I hope it's the soup thing. It's always good for a laugh and we don't all die from it." Wash and Zoe-Firefly "Psychic though? That sounds like something out of science fiction." "You live in a spaceship dear." "So?" Wash and Zoe-Firefly "Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Dear diary, today I was captured by hillfolk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever." Jayne Cobb pretending to read Simon Tam's diary-Firefly "You understand what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's rutting in charge here." Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Now, how did I avoid that?" "By being fast like a freak?" Inara Serra and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell but if your hand touches metal I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Funny that your uncle never mentioned the Bowden's problem. Or that Joey Bloggs is dead. Ate his gun about eight months back." "Joey Bloggs is dead?" "Blew the back of his head right off." "So...would his job be available?" Sheriff and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "And Zoe, what would your husband say if he saw you here?" "I-I was weak." Inara and Zoe-Firefly "You can't change that by getting all "bendy." You got the light on the console to lift you up...like little angels." "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" Jayne Cobb and Wash-Firefly. "Keep the money, use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter how far you go or how high you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my face." "Darn." (Kicks man into the engine) Niska's henchman and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "Well?" "You paid money for this sir? On purpose?" Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe-Firefly "Oh, come on. Ship like this will be with you until you die." "That's because it's a deathtrap." Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe-Firefly "Oh, a funny story..." "Yeah, because sick people can be 'high-larious'." Simon Tam and Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Now Inara, I bet she has some good whoring stories." "Oh, I do. Funny and sexy, you have no idea. And you never will." Jayne Cobb and Inara Serra "Day is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable...I didn't get you anything." River Tam-Firefly "Don't be afraid, That's what it says, 'don't be afraid'." "Yes." "But you are afraid." "Yes." "You're afraid that we'll run out of air and we'll die gasping. But that won't happen." (Book looks up hopefully) "We'll freeze to death first." (Wanders away and leaves Book looking terrified) River Tam and Book-Firefly "Am I dreaming?" "We all are." (Mal rolls his eyes) "Don't make faces." Malcolm Reynolds and River Tam "Which one do you figure tracked us?" "The ugly one sir." (Mal looks confused) "Can you be more specific?" Malcolm Reynolds and Zoe-Firefly "Point of interest? Offering to shoot us after we tell you where our stuff is might not be such a great incentive as you might think." Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "We'd have been back first, except there's something wrong with Inara's shuttle. She's done something to it Mal, it smells all funny." "I told you, that's incense." "So you say." Jayne Cobb and Inara-Firefly "You could have been meditating on the wonders of your rock garden by now." "Beats just sitting." "It is just sitting." Malcolm Reynolds, Jayne Cobb, and Wash-Firefly "Don't you just hate doctors?" "Hey!" "Present company excluded of course." "Now, let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude." Wash, Simon Tam, Wash, Jayne Cobb-Firefly (Jayne spits on his knife) "Could you not do that while we're-ever?" Simon Tam "We tried pulmonary stimulators and cardiac infusers. What about cortical electrodes?" "Oh...we forgot them." Simon Tam and Jayne Cobb-Firefly "Hell, I don't know. If I'd wanted schooling I'da gone to school." Jayne Cobb-Firefly "We're going to go to sleep. When we get into the hospital, Mal and the others will wake us up. We'll be fine. You understand?" "You're going to suspend cerebral, cardiac and pulmonary activity in order to induce a proto-comatose state." Simon and River Tam-Firefly "You're doing it backwards, walking up the down slide." "This is the recovery ward, where people come to get better." "They're going to die." "No they're not." (Points at a man) "He is." Simon and River Tam-Firefly "No, no! They come out of the bike, come when they call." River Tam-Firefly "No, no, I can't go back. I don't wanna go back." River Tam-Firefly "They took Christmas away. Came downstairs for all the shiny presents, but they took the tree and the stockings and left only coal. Don't look in the closet either, it's greedy, not in the spirit of the holiday." River Tam-Firefly "We go back the way we came in." "No, we run, we can't handle the feds." "It doesn't matter. They're here." Jayne Cobb, Simon Tam, River Tam-Firefly "How was your check-up?" "It was good, how're things here?" "Well, let's see. We killed Simon and River, stole a bunch of medicine, and now Mal and Zoe are off springing them that got caught by the feds." Kaylee and Inara-Firefly "We gotta move quickly." "Yeah, he might come back and hug us in the act." YoSaffBridg and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "We are not together." "He's my husband." "Well who in the damn galaxy ain't?" Malcolm Reynolds and YoSaffBridg "Jayne, this is something the captain needs to do himself." "No, no it's not." "Oh." Zoe and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "I'm afraid I might be needing a preacher." "That's good, you lie there and be ironical." Book and Malcolm Reynolds "These are better than the Camberson's berries." "They are...except they're poison." (Simon spits out berries and River laughs) "You believed her, made a face." Simon and River Tam-Firefly "Ruby doesn't talk, her voice got scared away." (Looks up and smiles) "I hear crickets." River Tam-Firefly "We got the wave at the Friedrich's. I had to leave your mother at the dinner table. ""I'm sorry dad, I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk." Gabriel and Simon Tam-Firefly "Your talent for alienating folk is near miraculous." "Yes, I'm very proud." Malcolm Reynolds and Simon Tam-Firefly "That girl is a witch!" "Yeah, but she's our witch, so cut her the hell down." Village Patron and Malcolm Reynolds-Firefly "You're not right Early, you're not righteous. You've got issues." River Tam-Firefly "What am I, your advocate?...He's really warm and fuzzy, really." Simon Tam about Jubal Early-Firefly "Okay, I'm putting the gun away now." "No he's not." Jubal Early and Simon Tam-Firefly "He's faster than you, and he's wearing armor." "How about his face? Is his face wearing armor?" River Tam and Wash-Firefly "Are you a bounty hunter?" "No, that's not it at all." "Then what are you?" "A bounty hunter." Simon Tam and Jubal Early-Firefly "Do you know where she is?" "I can barely keep track of her on the days she's not incoporeally possessing a space ship." Jubal Early and Simon Tam-Firefly AND THE ALL TIME BEST FIREFLY QUOTE EVER: "Light it." Simon Tam-Firefly Warehouse 13 "You can run through proxy servers in Winchuan, but you cannot hide." Arthur Neilson-Warehouse 13 White Collar "There are checks and balances, a concept that clearly goes beyond Neal's comprehension." "Oh, I understand the checks. It's just the balances I struggle with." Peter Burke and Neal Caffrey-White Collar Bones "Angela! Booth! I have informed Zach that if he tells anyone who I am, I will kick him out onto the street like a stray dog. Sadly, there is nothing that I can threaten you two with." "Yeah, that's a shame." Jack Hodgins and Angela Montenegro-Bones "Maybe if Brennan understands that we are not crazily competitive we can all come through this with our friendships intact." "Besides, Dr. Brennan must realize that we are going to destroy them." "I'll explain 'crazily competitive' to Zack over and over until he understands it." Angela Montenegro, Zack Addy, and Jack Hodgins-Bones Doctor Who "Dalek fleet. A minimum of twelve thousand battleships armed to the teeth. But we've got surprise on our side! They'd never expect three people to attack twelve thousand dalek battleships because they'd be killed instantly! So it'd be a short surprise...never mind, forget it." The Doctor-Doctor Who "Sontarans. Talk about cross. Who stole all their handbags?" The Doctor-Doctor Who "So I return to my command after one week and find out that we've been playing host to Cleopatra, who's in Egypt. And dead!" "Yes, funny how things work out." Julius Caesar and River Song/Melody Pond-Doctor Who "Am I a ginger?" "No." "Dang it! I've always wanted to be a ginger!" The Doctor and Rose-Doctor Who "Doctor, come here!" (The Doctor, carrying a huge number of spears, a spear gun, and something sonic) "Uh, can it wait? There's something I have to take care of. Well, four somethings. Well, four somethings and a lizard. By the way, I like you. Please ignore how creepy that sounds." Sally Sparrow and the Doctor. The Mentalist "Who's that?" "That's Hightower's boss, leader of the whole division. I told you he was coming last night. Your memory's going." "My memory is a mighty fortress, where once a thought is committed it never escapes. Now, when you tell me boring things like that I set them free immediately. Saves on overcrowding." Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon-The Mentalist. "And today we are very fortunate to have some conveniently telogenic CBI officers, Agent Wayne Rigsby and the pocket rocket, the dynamite, the heavily-armed cute as a button Agent Teresa Lisbon." Patrick Jane-The Mentalist The Addams Family "And what are you darling? Where is your costume?" "This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else." Aunt and Wednesday-The Addams Family "Wednesday's at that very special age when there's only one thing on her mind." "Boys?" "Homicide." Morticia Addams, Random Lady, Wednesday-The Addams Family |
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