Hey,

4-16-08: Wow, the last week and a half has been hell! Between school, family problems, and unfortunately having to put one of our dogs down on Monday, this month so far: SUCKS!!

I'm trying to keep writing and Im thinking of reposting my story Kirk and Joanna's Blessing. You can obviously tell that it's one of my earlier stories, which means it's really bad. I'll keep you posted.

1-25-08: Well, my nephew has FINALLY arrived! He is 6 pounds 10 1/2 ounces and 19 inches long!!

8-20: school starts tomorrow so I might not be around as much as normal for a few weeks. I'll still be on and reading but possibly not updating anything unless I get tired of doing homework and go and randomly update stuff. But as I said, I'll still be on, just not updating as often for a few weeks. (shut up Marissa, I know I havent updated anything in a while)

OMG: she killed..she killed my favorite Characters...NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Damn you JK but your still one of my favorite authors!!

6-18-07: OMG IM GONNA BE AN AUNT!!

Alright guys:I'm trying to have one of my friends become my beta, so QUIT GETTING ON TO ME ABOUT MY SPELLING & GRAMMAR OK! (NOT MAD, JUST FRUSTRATED)

Nickname by friends: Alex Lupin. (ask me in a review and ill explain) or Phil

I'm a 16 year old living in Illinois. (no license yet, still pissed about that)

Poem I did for English Class:

An elephant, a

Bear and a

Cat went

Driving through the

Evergreen

Forest in a

Green

Hummer. The bear saw an

Iguana

Jumping onto a

Kangaroo who loved eating

Lemons and

Mangos as well as

Necterenes.

On the car jumped a

Possum and a

Quail was seen

Running through the forest, being chased by a

Snake and a

Talking

Umbrella was

Very mad at the iguana.

Well thats

eXactly what happened to the

Young

Zookeepers bear.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. (locker room door 2 days in a row being an idiot!! THE DOOR FRAME MOVED I SWEAR IT!! (shutupshutup shutup shutup I MEAN IT SHUT UP!!)

Pyromaniac? Put this in your profile. (Im a proud Pyro!! FIRE!)

If you have ever cursed loudly and then realized that a teacher was standing nearby, copy this into your profile. (Teacher was standing right next to me...smart right?)

If you believe that all the hot guys are taken, gay, or fictional characters, copy and paste this into your profile and add you name to the list. SerenitySnow412, Outsidersluver1992

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

Things I love (In no particular order):

Doctor Who (starting to anyway)

Star Wars

Star Trek

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Hanging with friends

HARRY POTTER

reading

National treasure

and reading SOME Slash

Fave Movies:

HARRY POTTER Again, IM OBSESED

Shippers i like:

HP/GW

HG/RW

NT/RL

BW/FD

HH2GG

FP/AD (go 2 my faves, there's a story by demus on there called Inexplicably Parental. it funnier that hell. Hetro only people look away. this contains Slash & an mpreg.)

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!

FAVE QUOTES:

1"omg you guys are trekkies! My dads a Trekkie!" My best friend Amanda

"WTF wrong with being a Trekkie!" me and our friend John when we started talking about ST at lunch.

2"handy dandy" Mr. Bass (History teacher) He was pulling down a map.

"Notebook" Mylisha Scott

"Notebook?"

"Ya Dora the Explorer!"

rest of class cracks up. (that one deserved a medal and a spot on his wall of stupid comments)

3 "Is marinara sauce on the Periodic Table of the Elements?" (another one that deserved a spot on the wall)

"If its on there WITHOUT YOU WRITING IT ON THERE, I can guarantee an A in all your classes for the rest of your Academic career." Mr Bass.

4. "I want to get a video camera and bring it along when we ride bikes." Marissa said after me and Amber told her about me running a bike into a wagon.

5. "Why don't you two just shut up!"me after I was getting tired of Mylisha and Ricosha talking during History when I was taking notes.

"That's the best advice Ive heard all day."Mr Bass (can y'all tell hes my favorite teacher?)

6 "Holy cow." me, noticing how long his page of notes was.

"Cow? There's no cows in here!" guess who said this and you get a cookie

7 "I don't want a monkey!" Miss Jones after me and Amanda placed a monkey on her desk on dress up day.

"Damn, I thought shed throw it across the room." me

8. "hey, hey! Do you guys want to buy a hooker!" my friend Julia today when another one of our friends said she wanted someone to pimp with

9." I missed the joke, what was it?" Mr Ameson during biology when he was writing something and everybody started laughing

10. " Ive been trying to get on Survivor. If I ever do get on, Ill be voted off within 2 weeks, I make fun of people to much." Mr Bass (this one got me inspired to do a story where all my teachers are on Survivor.)

11. "miss Jones found the monkey!!" Amanda durring Algebra

"whatd she do?" me

"she yelled ' Amanda' and then realized that i wasnt there anymore"

"hehehehehehehehe"

12:'vegetarian, Native American word for bad hunter" my sister beth reading a shirt in a magazine

me my dad and step-mom Cindy laugh for about 5 minutes.

13: "Shut the duck up" another shirt in the magazine.

"shut the duck up What...oh wait, never mind." Beth

"YOU JUST NOW FIGURED IT OUT!!" me

" theres some slow ppl in this world"

14: "Don't make me mad, for I will wish death upon you and it will come swiftly." Mr. Bass (I swear he killed Steve Irwin!!)- ask and i shall explain.

15. "Whats a cow??" some really dumb ass person in my history teachers other classes ( it got on his wall)

16. "Its a snow desert!!" Jennifer (girl in my history class)

(while putting it on the wall) (erases it and puts it back up)

"wait a minute Mr. Bass, it is a snow desert!!" me (before he put it back up)

"Shut up Phil ur gonna get back on there!!" Jessica (the one who gave me the name Phil and it stuck)

17. "How can a horse have a zebra for a colt?" Mr. Ameson

"The horse got confused??"me

Ameson looks at me like 'wtf made u say that?'

18."Can you drive from Aulstralia to the US?' girl in my history class when Bass had one of his friends, Josh (whose from Aulstralia) come in and talk to us.

19. Mr Bass uses his remote to try to get a girl to shut up:

"I need to turn you off." Bass

"You dont need to turn me off, you need to turn me on!" Mylisha.

Entire class loses it for like five minutes.

"For your sake as much as mine...thats NOT! going on the board." Bass, while laughing

20. (on the phone w/ my mom...trying not to give away that my sis is prego)

Me:"Ummmm...-Looks at Beth-Should I tell"

Mom: "Spill your guts."

Me: "I'll tell ya later"

Mom: Cori's pregnant, isnt she?" (Cori's my stepsis...but I call her my sis)

Me: "How'd you know?"

21. Me (to my grandpa): "Why were you watching a Cub's game?"

Grandpa: "Why not, their actually an Illinois team."

Me: "Trator"

22. "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" Molly Weasley to Bellatrix. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (best line in the whole book in my opinoin)

23. (Durring Algebra, We ask Mr. Kuester at least one personal question everyday) "Why do you have such a big house?" I forgot who said this.

"So he can have sleepovers." Morgan (everyone starts laughing)

"With his Girlfriend" Cant think of her name either. Everyone laughs

24. "Hey guys, I know where Kuester lives, so if anyone wants to go teepee him, hit me up." Morgan.

"Ill go." About half the class.

"Thats why I have a guard dog." Kuester.

"Yea but you said that your not home on the weekends." Damnit whats his name

"So whats the dog gonna do, Call you and go 'Arrarrarr?" Morgan. Everyone laughs, Including Kuester

"What about if we do it durring the week?" somebody else

"I'll be sitting on the roof with a paintball gun." Kuester.

25. "Ya know what? Im gonna bring a video camera to school one of these days!" Marissa this morning (9-27) when Chelsea, Ashley, Carrol and I started doing the chicken dance...outside before school.

26. Me:poor carlos..ill buy u a stripper
Me: and she will give u a lap dance..just dont kill her..jp
Carlos.: thanks, yeah i know this is a joke convo but can you make the stripper a woman cuz knowing you you might make it a male stripper
Carlos.: fuck you ho
me: AWW COMEON!! would i do something like that? ok 2 female strippers...u can have a 3 way

Carlos: fuck yea!!

27. "Theres a lot of history in this city." Jeff Dunham

"Translation: OLD AS SHIT!" Penut

28. "Alright alright alright damn." Penut

"ride from the valley" Jeff

"bad as hell" penut

"traffic?" Jeff

"sucked like hell" penut

"drivers" Jeff

"angry as hell" penut

"you were?" Jeff

"Scared as hell...so were in hell!...and these are our hell mates!" Penut (lol I love Jeff Dunham...Penut and Walter rule!!)

29. "Come on you gotta at least smoke weed." Peanut

"No i never smoke pot." Jeff

"Never smoke pot?" Peanut

"No." Jeff

"Never done drugs?" Peanut

"No." Jeff

"Then how the hell did you come up with MEEEEEEE!! Your a sick man!" Peanut

30. "you don't think that's funny?" Peanut
"no."Jeff
"you're gay!! GAY GAY GAY! You are Gay!"Peanut
"i have a wife and three kids!"Jeff
"Oh...good cover!"Peanut!

31. Jeff does not abuse drugs." Peanut
that's right" Jeff
He's an ALCOHOLIC XD"Peanut

32. "what is wrong with you!?" Jeff

"to much Starbucks. Coffee coffee coffee." Peanut

"You didn't have coffee before the show." Jeff

"Alright...I'll admit it..it was crack!" Peanut

33. "You mexican condement!" Peanut

"I dont use them." Jose Jalepeino...on a steek "And neither did your mother."

34. "dont drop me senor. If you do I will be Jose Jalepeino on the floor." Jose

"Do a tap dance and we got salsa!" Peanut

"Thats not nice!" Jeff

"It is with the right kind of chips!" Peanut

35. "Why would the girls want to talk to you?" Jeff

"Because Jose has the stick!" Jose Jalepeino..on a stick

36. Hawkeye: "Your mind is in the gutter!"

Trapper: "I can't help it. It's attached to my body." (fits me perfectly)

37:" nice of you to join the club, we have meetings on saturdays" Carlos when I said i was thinking about playing around on aff for awhile

38: "Wait, you did this for a bunch of virgins?" Jeff

"Are you kidding? Id kill you for a Klondike Bar!" Achmed

39: "A be be- bought and sold as a toy, but aparently the school likes to think of them as weapons of mass distructuon." guy in my English class.

40: 'How many people wanna go over Julius Ceaser?" nobody raises their hand. "How many people wanna read the stupid joke book?" EVERYONE raises hand, including Mrs. Becker "ok, stupid joke book wins."

42: "You mean they actually PUBLISH these?" My brother Rick looking at the football scores in my yearbook. (we suck, thats all there is to it.)

43: Jeff: "Well Aprarently Achmed has Poliosis..." (Jeff and Guitar guy start laughing)

Achmed: "WHAT THE FUCK IS POLIOSIS!!" best line in the xmas special!!

44. Durring Spanish Class today (1-20-09) Sr. Griffin: "Who was considered the worst president when he left office but is considered one of the best ones now?"

Everyone: looks at each other "Bush?"

Griffin: hangs head "NO!'

45. After Sr. Griffin goes and grades our Spanish exams. "Ok, so, We have a problem. Instead of me sticking my answer key in first, I stuck in Brady's exam, which was used for the answer key. As soon as I saw that he had a 100, I realized we had a problem. I'm going to go regrade these later..."

Ok thats all for now..favorite quotes will be updated soon...or whenever I get another one