Zennist motherfucker alive.

If you wish to bribe me for any particular reason, the only currency I accept is pink jelly babies.

Oh, yeah. Wear sunscreen.

Pet peeve. There is no such thing as 'could of/should of/would of/must of'.

There is only 'could have/should have/would have/must have' or the contractions 'could've/should've/would've/must've', which is what people hear and mistakenly interpret as including 'of' instead of 'have'.

Walking Dead fic Servitude Merle/OC playlist can be found on Youtube here SERVITUDE YOUTUBE PLAYLIST Listing it here was getting too long so I've made a google spreadsheet with the timeline for the story (I've set the story as starting in 2013, whereas the tv series was supposed to start years earlier) and the playlist for the chapters. It shows fairly clearly which days are covered in which chapters and is located here: SERVITUDE TIMELINE & PLAYLIST

It's obviously a work in progress so will be completed as the story moves along.

Things I LOVE about Twilight fanfic:

When Charlie is written a character with much more depth and input in the story. Especially when he gets to be either in on the vamp secrets or, even better, gets to be a kickass vamp. I love his relationship with Bella and I always feel sad when she changes and has to leave him behind. He's a sensitive, intelligent and hugely respected man and it's awesome when an author makes a point of bringing this to the fore and/or puts a lot of detail into him.

When Carlisle is kickass and not just peace and love all day every day.

When Bella stands up for herself.

When Edward gets beaten up, dismembered, called on his bullshit or just generally completely blanked when he tries to get everyone to follow his lead instead of Carlisle's.

When Bella standing up for herself leads to a great relationship with Rose.

When Rose thinks it's a great idea for Bella to be changed and doesn't stick with her canon being-human-is-the-greatest-gift-ever ideals and try to force them on Bella. Annoys me when she assumes that every woman wants to have kids and doesn't ever ask Bella if she does or not so when she's OOC and supports Bella's decision, that just makes me all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

Any kind of Jake torture. He gives me the creeps big time so I love it when he gets fucked over. Don't get me wrong, when a good writer writes a deep and believable friendship between he and Bella, I love it beyond words. It's as soon as he starts on the whole 'ewwww how can you want to be with a vamp?' gig that I lose patience. I find the idea of having a relationship with someone who turns into an animal really gross, especially as I'm not a dog lover, so I really quite dislike his attempts to get her to have a relationship with him.

I adore when Charlie goes a whole story without once mentioning to Bella that he thinks she and Jake would be great together. C'mon, he's too smart to think that someone as mature as her wouldn't need someone at least a few years older than her.

When Emmett is made out to be more than just a giant child. Think about it, as a vampire he's naturally at way beyond genius level. He's also mated. When he's made out to be just a giant kid, I find it weird trying to envision he and Rose having sex. He's also part of an extremely unusual coven with a controversial diet. They would all likely have to be, through sheer necessity, aware of and adept at all the types of diplomacy they must have to go through constantly simply to defend their way of life and to constantly be aware of what may or may not constitute a threat.

When human Bella borrows a vamp's hand to slap another vamp with :D

When Angela gets a bigger and more in depth role as a really good friend. Have loved the couple I've couple across where she's written as getting to turn into a vamp :D

When Jasper is proud of his scars, not ashamed of them.

Most of all, people who take the time to give an author an in depth review, especially those with some helpful criticism. When I'm reading a really great story, I love going to the review section and seeing that the author's hard work has been appreciated.

Things I don't like about Twilight fanfic:

When Bella tells Mike things like 'not this time' or 'no I'm busy' instead of asking him to stop asking her out or simply that she doesn't want to date him.

When the annoying characters, e.g. Jake or Edward, are allowed to get away with way more shit than they really would be. It can be a great plot device, I know, but sometimes it's taken way too far and is just downright frustrating.

Seeing 'ghost' and/or 'ghosted' used as verbs. ARGH!

When Bella automatically changes her surname or even looks forward to becoming Mrs Whitlock/Mrs Cullen or whichever when it's time to get married. It's the 21st century and it shocks me how many female writers still automatically change Bella's name to Mrs Whatever when she gets married instead of being Ms Swan both before and after marriage. Or even that she gets excited about it. Automatic surname changing on getting married is absolutely Neanderthal. It's a choice, not something that has to done. Men carry the title of Mr whether they are married or unmarried, women can use Ms, which shows that they're female but doesn't show whether or not they're married. If the male half of the relationship is dead set on both of them having the same name, why do we never see her suggest to him that he changes his surname to Swan?

Pregnancy and all human stories.

Starting to dislike Jasper/Major shown as split personalities. Creep factor. Particularly hate it when Peter's referred to as Captain. It makes them seem like little boys playing at war instead of the badasses we know them to be.

How it now seems to be the done thing that Peter is portrayed as an unbearable, obnoxious asshole, and Bella is only deemed 'cool' if she finds a way to enjoy this obnoxious behaviour. Heaven forbid he be told to either lose the attitude or fuck off.

How PMS makes me post snippy reviews which I later feel bad about.

Story notes:

You will never find a welcome pregnancy in my stories, or Bella/Edward, or Bella/any wolf. I hate Kristen Stewart in anything. She is never my Bella. IF YOU PREFER HER AND DON'T WANT A MENTAL PIC OF WHO IS MY BELLA, DON'T READ THIS NEXT BIT. A few of the photos of Kat Dennings with more natural makeup are closest to the Bella in my head, but my Bella is not nearly so busty. I also don't see her as a heavy makeup kinda lady so the majority of Kat Dennings photos don't equate to my Bella unless she's going to a club, restaurant, or Vegas etc.

Update 01.04.15 THIS IS MY BELLA

Broken Saints is on indefinite hiatus as it's really just not overly good. May cannibalise parts of it for other stories but I doubt the story itself will continue at any point.

Some of you are posting really thoughtful reviews and have a lot of great questions. I am always happy to chat if you have anything more you want to ask; my skype name is the same as my name here on FF. Make sure to say in contact add request that you are from fanfiction.net, though, as all random requests are automatically rejected otherwise.

Nov 2014: Trying to allocate about 75% of my time to Walking Dead fic Servitude, with the rest split between Fuil and Lake House. Possibly Supercharged if I get the inclination (it's not abandoned, just have no Bella/Jasper juice at the mo).