A bit about myself: I am a young woman still in school that enjoys reading fantasy and listening to symphonic metal. I grew up in a loving family of seven who nurtured my love of anything nerd; math, science, history, anime, video games, and music. I have a wicked fashion sense and always enjoy a good laugh. The family humour involves much sarcasm. I also am an odd mix between tomboy and girly-girl, and a romantic with a healthy dose of realism mixed in.

I am known as that headstrong girl who people look up to because I'm not afraid to wear a kimono (and various other unusual outfits and/or cosplay) to school. I express my views but am also sympathetic, and that person who my friends can talk to. I am mature, but I know how to loosen up and have fun, generally lighting up the room. Or so my friends and family have said.

But like every human, I am fallible. My dark sides are many. In fact, I don't even really believe much of the tripe in the paragraph above (except for my clothing instinct), a side effect of my clinical depression putting a negative spin on everything. I have severe anxiety, OCD, and a general talent to turn to a moody state at the drop of a hat. Life has kicked me and beat me, and I've nearly died a couple times... by my own hand. I've become very good at sulking.

I have a fear of failure, but an even more terrible fear of success, and it paralyses me.

Why am I pouring this out over the internet? Two reasons. First, is that the internet is anonymous and I can release pent up emotions without fear of my acquaintances becoming concerned. Second, is that I want my readers to understand where the author is coming from. 90% of my writing has not been published. I'm moody, erratic, and inconsistent. I jump from elegant phrasing to awkward sentences, from romance to horror. The human psyche fascinates me. I am a deviant who is terrified of life, and equally terrified of leaving behind my loved ones. I hate myself and love myself. Writing is my outlet, and so reflects my inner state of mind - fear, desire, confusion, and joy.

"Nerds like us, are unironically enthusiastic about stuff. Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like, jump-up-and-down-can't-control-yourself love it. When people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'You like stuff'. Which is not a good insult at all. Like, 'You are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human conciousness'. "
- John Green