98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If there are times you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, put this on your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather than read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

:) This is evil smiley. Evil smiley likes sharp things. Copy and paste Evil Smiley on your profile so he could see the world.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

Think of the devil, and he shall appear, Severus thought snidely, untying the letter. Or at least he’ll send you a letter. "From Trust Me, by shoot-the-moon13"

"Yes, I can hardly breathe for laughing," - Hermione Granger, page 98 of Half Blood Prince, J.K.Rowling.

"You ended that sentance with a preposition, bastard!" - Jack O'Neill, Stargate SG-1, Series 7.

"Well, don't you all have me surrounded?" - Vala, Stargate SG-1, Series 9.

"We are dealing with pure evil here, they don't tend to target the extras!" - J.K.Rowling, interview on Richard&Judy, June 2006.

The sky is not the limit. They proved that when people set foot on the moon.

Boyfriends stab you in the heart, best friends stab you in the back, but true friends don't carry knives.

The worst thing about getting lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth.

Anger is like a balloon. Keep it in for too long and it pops. Then it leaves you to clean up all the mess.

People say love is magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will shatter my soul.

Don't let him take you higher with his words, cause the higher you are, the harder you fall, and trust me, you always fall.

Man has to suffer, it's the only way they learn.

Love is eternal, as is hate, but it's better to think of the positive than the negative.

Friends will say, "You deserved better." Best friends will call him and say, "You will die in seven days."

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a fork!"

Of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most.

Who ever said, "Nothing is impossible." never tried to slam a revolving door.

Don't follow me...I'm lost too.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Warning: Dates in calender are closer than they appear,

A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the next cell saying, "Let's do it again!"

This is Bob. Bob likes you. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run away from Bob.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and says, "What the fuck, bitch, get the hell outta my way!"

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "Man, we fucked up."

Sorry I'm late. I got into a fight with my rice krispies. I distinctly heard, "Snap, Crackle, Fuck that Asshole."

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, now that's weird.

If you're nice, u can call me honey. If you're sweet, you can call me sweety. If ur hot, u can call me tonight!

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

You said you couldn't stand to see my heart break. . . so when you broke it, did you close your eyes?

I told my boyfriend he was gay and he hit me with his purse.

Advice That Guys Should Take:

WHEN YOU SEE HER AT HER WORST
- TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL

WHEN SHE RUNS AWAY FROM YOU
- CHASE HER

WHEN SHE IGNORES YOU
- SHE WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION

WHEN SHE SAYS NOTHING IS WRONG
- A MILLION THINGS ARE RUNNING THROUGH HER HEAD

WHEN SHE PULLS AWAY
- GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LET GO

WHEN SHE KICKS AND PUNCHES
- HOLD HER TIGHT

WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING'S THE MATTER
- TELL HER NOT TO WORRY

WHEN SHE IS SCARED
- HOLD HER AND TELL HER EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY BECAUSE SHE'S WITH YOU

WHEN SHE HOLDS YOU HANDS
- PLAY WITH HER FINGERS

WHEN SHE IS SILENT
- SHE THINKING HOW TO SAY, "I love you."

WHEN SHE PUTS HER FACE NEAR YOURS
- KISS HER

WHEN SHE IS SHY
- SAY, "I love you."

WHEN SHE SCREAMS AT YOU
-TELL HER YOU LOVE HER (but mean it!)

WHEN YOU SEE HER WALKING
- SNEAK UP BEHIND HER, GRAB HER BY THE WAIST, AND GIVE HER A KISS

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

Love Quotes:

I'm Jealous Of Every Girl Who Even Hugged You,
Because In That Moment They Held My World

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Meeting You Was Fate,
Becoming Your Friend Was My Choice,
But Falling In Love With You Was Beyond My Control!

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

The Worst Way To Miss Someone Is To
Be Sitting Right Beside Them Knowing You Can't Have Them

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

A heart is not a play thing,
a heart is not a toy.
But if you want it broken,
just give it to a boy.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart
you can't speak from your mouth.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Guys are like stars, there are millions of them,
but only one makes your dreams come true.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

If you jumped off a bridge, I wouldn't.
I'd be at the bottom waiting to catch you.

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

I'm so sick of crying, so sick of trying.
I know I'm smiling, but inside I am dying

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Your Perfect:
...Because everything you do
Makes me smile.
...Because every second spent with you
Is worthwhile
...Because when you laugh at me
I laugh too
...Because everyone else can see
That I'm devoted to you
...Because I love your eyes
And the way they shine
...Because you don't tell lies
And you're so cute when you whine
...Because when you get mad
You can't hide it
...Because even when you're sad
I can't find
...Because the way you hold me
Sends shivers down my spine
...Because your spirits so free
And your so damn fine
...Because I never stop thinking about you
It's just not fair
...Because you're so perfect
And no one else can compare

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

I'm sorry about never trusting you.
I'm sorry for always hurting your feelings.
I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
I'm sorry for our past experiences.
I'm sorry I'm not your dream girl.

What I'm trying to get through is that
I'm sorry I can't be good enough to be with you

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you.
When I first talked to you I was afraid to like you.
When I first liked you I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you!

o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Somewhere, there's someone
who dreams of your smile
And finds in your presence,
that life is worthwhile.
So, when you're lonely,
remember it's true.
Remember out there,
someone is thinking of you

If you are obsessed with Danny Phantom, copy this into your profile.

DPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111
11DPDPDPDPDPDPDP111111PDPDPDP11111111
1111DPDPDPDPDPD111111111111DPDPDP1111
11DPDPDPDPDPDP111111111111DPDPDPDP11
DPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111DPDPDPDPDP1111
11DPDPDPDP1111DPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP111111
1111DPDPDP111PDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP11111111
11DPDPDP111DPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111
DPDPDP111DPDPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111111111

If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy someone just for the heck of it copy this to your profile,

If you hate obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile,

If you have ever run into a door, or solid wall copy this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy this to your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the world. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this to your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

~Murphy's 15 Other Laws...

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

~ If you would ask me whether you are pretty, I’d say no.
If you would ask me whether I like you, I’d say no.
If you would ask me whether you are in my heart, I’d say no.
If you would ask me whether I’d cry if you’d walk away, I’d say no.
So you’d turn to walk away. And I’d grab your arm and say;
You’re not pretty, you’re beautiful,
I don’t like you, I love you,
You’re not in my heart, you are my heart,
And I wouldn’t cry if you’d walk away, I would die.

100 things to do if you ever become a vampire…

1. Get struck by lightning... and live.

2. Go to the nearest McDonald's and order a blood cola and a raw hamburger...to the shocked faces of the employees.

3. GRAND THEFT AUTO!!

4. Stand on a busy interstate, in sunlight. PRETTY LIGHTS!!

5. Join a major league baseball team.

6. Order a bloody Mary at a bar and revel in the irony.

7. Do track&field. And a marathon.

9. Be the first to climb Mt.Everest... AND the Himalayas without injury. In one day.

10. Join the wrestling team.

11. Join the marines and talk back to the Drill instructors.

12. CATFIGHT!!

13. Crash a wedding or other type of party.

14. Revenge.

15. Go to the school and force them to make the lunch edible (not that you eat it,but their ruining all that good blood in your classmates)

16. Video tape the boys fighting over you.

17. Absolutely destroy the vending machine that won't work for you.

18. Sabotage a supermarket like costco.

19. Blow something up.

20. Walk on water.

21. Stop a speeding train.

22. Go to a petting zoo and suck the blood of the cutest, flufffiest animal you can find, to the horror of all the children watching...

23. Lift weights...with a cruise ship.

24. Go to an orthodontist and dazzle them with your perfect teeth.

25. Drink lots of alcohol...without the risk of a hangover.

26. Rob Fort Knox, London Tower, and the National Arsenal.

27. Repeatedly sing the song that never ends to the people you hate...you have all the time in the world ;P

28. Nuke something...without being ripped to atoms.

29. TAKE OVER THE WORLD SINGLE HANDEDLY!!

30. Take bullets to the head,without dieing.

31. Scuba dive...without an airtank.

32. Wrestle a shark.

33. Fight an alligator.

34. Race an ostrich.

35. Save someone.

36. Attempt to commit suicide...the human way.

37. Jump from the top of the Sears Tower. WATCH OUT BELOW!!

38. Win the olympics. All of them ;)

39. Win the lotto.

40. Become a superhero.

41. Impersonate Bill Gates, about how slow Cheetahs are.

43. Blow stuff up.For fun.

44. Go to space without a helmet!!

45. Make your own fireworks.

46. Stop a car going 80, with one hand.

47. Take the stairs... up a thirty story building,beating the people in the elevator.

48. Get revenge on the vending machine that ate your money.

49. Get the latest in military technology, and use it for your own evil designs.

50. Make a soda just for vampires...INTRODUCING BLOOD COLA!!

51. Kill a fictional villain with no personal injury.

52. Become president of the U.S.A.!

53. Win all the nobel prizes.

54. Go around the world in 80 minutes (hey,even vampires want to do some sightseeing.)

55. Read The Thousand and One Nights.

56. Learn everything.

57. Watch every horror movie with vampires involved and point out all the mistakes.

58. Scare the living daylights out of the big politcal people of the words.

59. Date a superstar.

60. Impersonate old, dead famous people.

61. Impersonate live famous people.

62. Be responsible for the latest crop circle scare, then rally up your fellow vampires, then steal a spaceship, then TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

63. Get thrown in the looney bin, rally up all the people there, break out and terrorize the world!

64. Vampire animals. Beware of the killer Butterfly.

65. Become world famous. As a serial killer. And never get caught.

66. Join a famous sport team and WIN EVERY GAME!!

68. Become a hitman/woman.

69. Hi-ho,hi-ho, It's a hunting people I go...

70. Stare at the sun. While in space.

71. Become a homicide bomber(it's usually a suicide bomber,but that wouldn't work for a vampire.)

72. Become a stalker.

73. Give new meaning to the term "Living Nightmare" (be afraid,be very afraid) over people...in a black limo.

75. Join a band and mesmerize everyone with your voice.

76. Break every Guiness World Record and re-publish the book.

77. Watch and memorize every movie and book.

78. Cause the next solar eclipse. Personally.

79. Make annoying people "magically" disappear. Forever.

80. Crush boulders with your bare hands.

81. "Witness" a 60 car pile up. IT WASN'T ME!!

82. Paint all the houses in town blood red. It looks so real shifty eyes

83. Wreck that stupid fancy shiny car thatr flipped you off for no good reason.

84. Be the first metal artist to use only their bare hands.

85. Impersonate Harry Potter and experience fans going wild over you.

86. Hotwire a laptop. Pretty lights!!

87. Sceam bloody murder. A lot.

88. Stab people in broad moonlight.

89. Become a supermodel.

90. Reinact WW2 dogfights... with or without the plane.

91. Attempt to get tattoos.

92. Make all the vampire myths come true.

93. "Out survive" every one on survivor.

94. Drive a bus. Into a moving train. And walk away.

95. Drive an ice cream truck around town and refuse it to anyone who asks. Especially little children.

96. Drill holes in your football team when you throw the ball. Oh man there goes my lunch...

97. Demand a Wii from nintendo. Or make one yourself.

98. Claim to be the long lost heir to some throne somewhere. With looks like that,who could refuse?

99. Redifine the word "prep."

100. Next time the teacher attempts to hand out homework, flash them your best smile and make them forget all about it

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...
So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!
This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner ...

Knowledge is power, and power is the root of all evil. So study to be evil!

I don't care about what you're doing so much as the idiotic way you're doing it.

Define 'normal'.

What is this "kindness" you speak of?

Call me weird, call me strange, call me different, I won't change.

The early bird catches the worm, on the other hand, the early worm get's eaten.

I love you is eight letters. So is bullshit.

I'm not insensitive. I just don't care.

I know it sounds like I'm in denial. But I'm not.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Always remember your unique. Just like everyone else.

Damn it!! Shut up and tell me already!!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

EVER WONDER where we are heading...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a
"Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
material used for the indestructible
black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

MAJOR LOL:

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

If all else fails, try reading the instructions.

I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.

25 Reasons Why I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me: IRONY

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me:CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me: WEATHER

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me:HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me: Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

When your dad is mad and he says, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

There is a light at the end of every tunnel...just pray it's not a train.

You laught at me because I'm strange. I laugh at you because you're stupid!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. It's just that yours is stupid.

If something seems too good to be true, then it usaully is.

Curiousity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

If you like animals, copy and paste this into your profile.

--If you like anime or magna, copy and paste this in your profile.

--If you have ever been worried for another person, copy and paste this into your profile.

--If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

"'Or die trying'?! Did ya have to put that in his head?!"~Tony DiNozzo, NCIS

"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?! First Abby's lab nerd frames DiNozzo for murder and then McGee kills a cop! Did somebody break a mirror?!"~Gibbs, NCIS

"Subtle approach. You serve the warrent, I'll shove my SIG in her face."~Gibbs, NCIS

"Remove your hand or I will rip off your arm and beat you to death with it!"~Ziva David, NCIS

NCIS

Tony: hey Kate what's a six letter word for a reason to commit a federal offense? starts with M

Kate: murder (Tony counts the letters out then looks at her confused)

Tony: no actually I was talking about motive. (Gibbs walks in)

Tony: Hey boss, six letter word for a reason to commit a federal offense

Gibbs: DiNozzo (exasperatedly)

Tony: that's seven letters, boss

Gibbs: whatever works

NCIS

(Tony rolls over to come face to face with a large iguana and quickly rolls out of bed aiming his gun at it)

Tony: Hault! (Kate and Gibbs enter guns drawn and Kate gives Tony a look, Tony looks Down and grabs a chair)

Gibbs: I need coffee.(Gibbs exits)

NCIS

(McGee is sitting at Tony's desk as Gibbs, Kate, and Tony enter from rescuing Tony who was kiddnapped)

Gibbs: forget about it McGee he's alive

NCIS

Suspect: hey, aren't you going to get this thing off me (talking about deadmen's switch bomb around his neck that Gibbs is holdin onto)

Gibbs: get it off yourself (He drops the switch)

Suspect: AH! (nothing happens)

Gibbs: boom

NCIS

(Tony pulls his cell phone out of his soda)

Tony: want to know the secret to getting on Gibbs' good side?

Ziva: yes

Tony: so do I

He smiled as he walked over to Flitwick. "Can I please be excused to go blackmail the Minister?" Creature Protection by search in all the wrong places