AM NOT PUTTING ANY PERSONAL INFO ON HERE

Also if anyone is wondering, I am writing but its several things at one time

My pet project SI is now being uploaded, hope it satisfies until I've got a happy amount of my real work ready to show.

Basically all my stuff is being rewritten, as in literally everything except my pet project and the FemSnakeHarry story.

Excellent Douglas Adams quote: "See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that."

PROBABLY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I HAVE EVER READ: Love Me or Hate Me

REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD STORY: Effects and Side Effects by Phoenix Dawn

May find random quotes or funny things :)

92 percent of american teens would die if Abecrombe and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breath. If your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your asses off as you watch the others copy this to your profile.

"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure."

"Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence."

"You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder."

The difference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else."

"Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary."

Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.

"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "

"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"Out of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most"

"I am currently out of my mind. If I am not back in 5 minutes please send a search party to find me."

"When a single person suffers from a delusion, its called a mental disorder, but when its suffered by many, many people, it's called religion"

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no

matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Never knock on Death's door... ring the bell and run away... he hates that.

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Someone's boring me. I think it's me.

Sorry I couldn't make it to church--I was busy practicing witchcraft.

Your face is like the sun--not because it is beautiful, but because I can only look at it for a minute.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot

Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

Your Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

STRESSED? You think I look stressed! I'm gonna KILL the next person who says I look stressed!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Bumper Stickers:

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.

When it comes to thought, some people will stop at nothing.

If you can see this car, my cloaking device is broken.

My cat ate your fish.

I'm just driving this because the kids kept falling off the broom.

Jesus saves. Allah forgives. C'thulu thinks you'd make a good sandwich.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

My other car is a BROOM!

HONK if you've never seen an Uzi shot out a car's back window.

Christianity: The belief that some Cosmic Jewish Zombie will make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.

May the fetus you save be a Black Gay Wiccan Democrat.

People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs.

Freya, goddess of Love and War: If you can't lay 'em, slay 'em!

(Found this somewhere)

HADES

You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked.

You write in diary/journal.

You feel most active at night.

7/10

HERMES

You like pickpocketing your friends.

You’re a prankster.

You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments.

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

7/10

(well that sounds about right (i also fit about 5 or 6/10 for Hunters of Artemis but [classified] so it wouldn't work out very well) pm me for theories on why for all of the above)