"Fifteen years without being caught. Fifteen years of pranks.

But sadly, all good things must come to an end.

And so, I leave this message to the pranksters of the world:

Keep our legacy alive. Prank the world.

Become greater than us.

Signing off for the last time,

Mastermind

Leader and Founder of the Poltergeists

GOD BLESS OUR UNDERWEAR

-Fixit, Mastermind's Farewell

Update 04/21/20: Both my FFnet and Ao3 accounts are in the middle of undergoing edits. If stories are incomplete or missing anything, this is why. Bear with me.

Update 08/09/19: My mother passed away at the end of May. My priority right now has to be my family, but that doesn't mean I've stopped writing. Real life is keeping me very busy right now, so there might not be any updates until 2020, but I have not abandoned any of my stores. I am determined to finish them. Eventually. Someday.

I will finish my stories or die trying, damnit!

Update 12/10/17: I now have an Ao3 account. Same Username, pretty much identical content. Once I finish uploading everything, that is.

I like a wide multitude of things...so long as it's well written. I don't care how good the idea is, I will not read it if the author doesn't even have the decency to use spell-check.

The plot bunnies run rampant in my head, so unless I finish or I reach at least ten thousand words, I will not publish a story.

I am my own Beta, so there might be occasional mistakes, but I reread obsessively so hopefully I've gotten most of them.

That being said, enjoy my story(s)!

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

STORIES:

Fixit- Finished.

Guardian Devil- Finished.

Mischief Managed- Updated when/if Inspiration Strikes.

Mastermind's Farewell- Finished.

Primus' Handyman- Updated when/if Inspiration Strikes.

Hop, Skip, and a Jump- Updated when/if Inspiration Strikes.

GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ALL MY FICS:

I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING BUT MY IDEAS AND OCS.

THANK YOU.