SmallBasilisk28
 Author has written 17 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Digimon, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Pokémon, Danny Phantom, Fairy Tail, Young Justice, Jak and Daxter, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir, Ben 10, Fate/stay night, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Soul Eater, and Attack on Titan/進撃の巨人. [I'm back world. To the people who follow my stories this is to let you know I'm still alive. As for where I've been. Well it's a stupid reason on my part but during a even dumber argument turned fight with my brother we ended up busting my computer along with a few other things before getting pulled apart and I really didn't have any spare cash lying around for a new one. I still don't so it took me up until a few days ago after saving a little at a time whenever I got paid before I could even afford a replacement computer. During my absence though I honestly forgot there wasn't some kind of message on my profile letting you know I'd be offline for a while and I am really sorry for worrying so many people. Like I said it was just a stupid argument that caused it but I'm back and hurrying to get some new updates ready so there should at least be for up by the end of today. Most of my notes are gone leaving only the things I wrote down as a hard copy but I'll try getting you some new updates soon.] [I'm going through a lot of messages and reviews right now with more than a few suggesting I might rewrite two of my stories.] [The first one is Two Sides of the Same Coin out of the clone wars timeline and bringing it into Star Wars Rebels. The other is When Lightning Strikes and rewriting it for the Alola region. Right now I'm getting some updates ready for today but I'd really any kind of suggestions my readers out there might have, if I still have any that is.] Name / Connor Age / 21 Favorite Colors {Green, Purple} Favorite Numbers {3,9,13,21} Favorite Anime {Black Lagoon, Blue Exorcist, Fairy Tail, Naruto, Attack on Titan, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Deadman Wonderland} Favorite Games {Assassins Creed series, Mass Effect series, Watch Dogs, The Elder Scrolls series, Dragon Age Inquisition, Rune Factory, Majora's Mask, Fire Emblem Fates} {D,G,R - [7] 0, 0, 0, 0} {W,A,Y - [28] 0, 0, 0, 1} {U,D - [42] 0, 0, 0, 6} ()_() Small confidence problem but working on it. See I'm getting better people. I'm now write somewhere between 3000 to 4500 and a few times I'll hit 6000 if its been a really good day. I've only had to rewrite a few chapters when they started falling apart but other than that I feel like I'm improving. I'm glad people out there like my stories and ideas. Some of my stories were deleted awhile back and some are just not worth the headache right now to keep working on them. If somebody finds the anything spelled wrong in my stories let me know, I try to go over it after it gets put through spellcheck but I'll still miss a few ever now and again. Please quit sending reviews just saying update I'll probable just wind-up deleting them. If anybody has ideas or suggestions to help make my stories better in anyway I don't mind hearing you out but don't just send a review in if your going too complain. I don't mind if you can point out a problem with any of my stories its just the pointless flames griping about every little thing that gets to me after awhile when I get tired of deleting them. [The stories I'll still keep working on are below.] [I'm looking for a Beta reader so if you want to help me out with one or more of my stories please PM me.] [I'm going to start putting an X next to the stories I'm working on so anybody reading my work will know what I'm currently focusing on. I'll be trying to get back into the bundle idea I was using before where I update three to four stories at a time since it just works better for me.] 1. The Sky and Its Moon: Have a lot of ideas going for this one. 2. FullMetal Salamander v2: Challenge I accepted from NinjaFang1331 plus I kind of enjoy working on it. 3. Chibi Gogglehead (Beta Reader mellra) Challenge I accepted from mellra. 4. Jinchuriki's Scarab, Bijuu's Fear: Challenge I accepted from swordsmanwielder, lots of good ideas. 5. Apex Predator 6. Second Chances: Something I wanted to try for awhile now. 7. Morning Star (Beta Reader mellra) Challenge I accepted from mellra. {8}. Riding the Storm 9. Eco Freak: Challenge I accepted from coduss. {10}. A Fractured Thief: An idea that ShiroHollow96 helped create into a story. 11. Harmony or Destruction 12. Two Sides of the Same Coin {13}. Digital World Wars: Challenge by Naruto namikaze uchiha. 14. When Lightning Strikes: An idea I've been playing around with for some time now. {15}. Nothing but A Memory: Something I was going to post before I had to replace my computer. {16}. Spirit of Fire {17}. Siv Parvis Magna: Really weird jumble of thoughts turned into a story. [The stories I just don't know about.] 1. Little Dragon Priest: I'm not trying to make any excuses for why this one hasn't been updated in so long but I can't just pull it together no matter how many times I rewrote the chapter before my accident. It's been placed into a separate folder for now so hopefully I can get back to it later but for now it's in purgatory between getting scraped or rewritten. 2. Uzumaki Call-sign Ghost 3. Shattered Mask: I have ideas for this story but no matter how many times I try to put the next chapter together it just doesn't fit right. [Failed List] 1. Paper Chimera: Honestly it just fell apart on me. 2. The Leviathan's Heir: See Leviathan v3 for newest version. 3. Memories of the Forgotten. 4. Menma the Master of Victory: Taken down for now. Might be reposted at a later date. 5. Leviathan v3: Just gave up on this one. It wasn't worth the trouble the flamers brought me. 6. Rise of the Nine Kin. 7. Anteiku's Return. 8. My Girlfriend's a Goddess!: Yea I'm officially done with High School DxD. It wasn't even up an hour and the flamers were already pouring in so I'm done with this particular crossover. 9. Rise of the Broken 10. Three Brothers, Three Sins: Challenge by windstorm16. 11. Promise: Nobody really said anything so after waiting three days I just ended up taking it down. It was only a One-Shot so I wasn't that concerned about keeping it up. 12. Falling Star: Barely scraped by with 171 views so I'm just putting it in my failed pile. 13. The Green Dragon's Rebirth: Challenge by ShiroHollow96. [A few ideas I've played around with in the back of my mind when I needed a short break in-between things.] [I'm not going into a lot of detail about them since I'm constantly changing each one but down bellow are some of the ideas basic plots.] 1. It's a Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Yu-Gi-Oh GX idea focusing around Tsuna finding Hamon, Lord of Stricking Thunder and building a deck around that. The deck I had in mind was a Spellcaster type deck with Dark Magician and maybe the six Charmers being a few of the main spirits involved. 2. It's a Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Fate/Stay Night idea with Tsuna disappearing at a young age after his mother is either killed or hospitalized only to reappear years later when Vongola finds him as a magus competing in the 5th Grail War. He'd be the Master of Lancer or Berserker and would be fighting for the wish to either have his mother back or for the Grail to heal her. 3. It's a Harry Potter/Hetalia - Axis Powers idea with Harry being taken from the Dursleys the very night Dumbledore left him there by Scotland. He'd have a vested interest in seeing Tom dead and knew England wasn't in the right state of mind since he was still recovering from all of the Death Eaters attacks to make the proper choices. So he'd take the child to the one person no one ever remembers where Harry gets raised by Canada and Romano. He wouldn't go to Hogwarts in this one but would instead go to Durmstrang after getting Sweden's permission. [This idea came to me after reading 'It All Started with a Tomato' and expanded from there.] 4. It's a Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Sword Art Online idea with Tsuna being a shut-in gamer/beta tester because of all the bullying he gets put through in the real world getting trapped in SAO. He'd still be Tsuna scared out of his mind at first but after getting he's head together he'd start using some of the things he knew about the game to his advantage. Tsuna would use everything he knew to keep him along with the people gathering around him because of his Sky Flames safe so they could beat the game. 5. It's a Naruto - Rune Factory idea with Naruto either running away from the village or getting banished and giving up on being a ninja completely after everything they put him through. Years later after the truth about his parents gets out the five biggest villages send their men to convince or seduce him to join their forces only to find out Naruto runs the nearby farm in the town they arrive in after months of traveling. He wouldn't have any ninja training besides the Shadow Clones but would still have the skills built up from working a farm and repeatedly fighting all the monsters in the surrounding area. 6. It's a Naruto - Negima idea with Naruto either becoming an immortal after the Fourth Great War or dimension hoping through worlds. He'd come across Negi during the attack on his childhood home saving him before Nagi even shows up after seeing Nekane getting turned to stone. Nagi would latter track them down and after watching them talks with Naruto who agrees to take care of Negi. Over the years where at first Negi would hate his guts the two of them would develop a father/son bond where he travels with Negi when he gets assigned a teaching job pissing of everybody that gets in his way. 7. It's a Naruto - Deadman Wonderland idea that {swordsmanwielder} put into my head with Naruto being sentenced for a crime he apparently committed as a child but can't remember anything about the incident. After years spent under the care of Tamaki being used as a test subject for a series of painful test that only got worse Naruto snapped turning into the psychopath they always accused him of being while just barely hanging onto what little humanity left. He'd be like the younger version of Gaara after finding out that hunting and killing his prey would make the voices in his head quiet down for a little while at the same time scaring the crap out of everyone around him including Tamaki who made him into a monster he can barely control. That is until the day Ganta shows up at the prison and the noises plaguing his mind just vanish making him want to be near the new guy in everyway possible including kidnapping him among other things. 8. It's a Naruto - Bleach idea with Naruto gaining the Fullbringer ability Book of the End. I've had a few thoughts on a story based off of this idea with a dark Naruto using that power to get even with everyone that ever fucked with him while at the same time gaining friends by using their children, siblings, friends, etc against them. An example would be like during the events at Nami no Kuni all he would have to do was slash Haku with his sword or accidentally nick Inari maybe even his mother with it and he'll be able to place himself into their past enabling him to gain their loyalty while at the same time Naruto gains the memories of whoever he cuts. It has a bunch of uses in my mind and I've played around with a few ways it could be used against his opponents. 9. It's a Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Young Justice idea with Tsuna from the bullying, his mother's unintentional neglect and his Sky Flames being sealed away starts having weird dreams. He's visited by his 'imaginary friend' Nabu who teaches him how to preform simple little magic tricks not knowing he was being trained to become the next Doctor Fate since Kent is dead. With each day that passes and the more Tsuna starts to trust Nabu he slowly comes to accept the idea that helping his 'imaginary friend' would be better than just staying Dame-Tsuna until he vanished days before Reborn shows up. 10. It's a Young Justice idea where Connor gives up waiting for Superman to accept him like everyone else says he will. He'll give up the shield after the mission in ep,21 Image where he gets a scarab attached to his spine making him into the new Red Beetle. 11. It's a Danny Phantom - Young Justice idea with Pariah Dark's escape forcing him to make a literal deal with the devil in order to defeat him but still loses when the fallen king kills off the people Danny cares about as his vengeance. Now Danny is out for blood tracking down Vlad and the group who thought they could claim the powers of the Ghost Zone for themselves. No code of conduct will be holding him back as he tracks down everyone responsible. 12. Don't know what I'd post this under. But its a idea I've played around with about all the main characters of my stories either riding in a car or elevator to work. It would just be stupid banter as they talk about their worlds and the chapter they're stuck at while mentioning the main character of another authors story. I just thought it would be something funny to pass the time thinking about all the different Naruto's talking about their worlds and how different they were from Naruto Prime. 13. It's a Harry Potter - Young Justice idea. Based off the idea of the old Justice League where Amanda Waller takes steps to ensure the world has a Batman in case anything happened to Bruce. Using the technology at her disposal thanks to the connects she had with Cadmus Waller initiates Project Batman Beyond using the Potter family. 14. It's a Harry Potter - Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir idea. It's basically a WBWL story with Harry's parents thinking him a squib after the events of Voldemort's death. After being overlooked as unimportant by everyone around him for so long a young Harry runs away with the help of a family house elf that bonded with him to Paris. Taking magical classes by night while going to a normal school by he leads a somewhat normal life until the day he finds his Kwami and gets involved with being a super hero fighting villains. 15. It's a Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir idea. Left an orphan in the city of Paris after his mother's death during a family vacation. Forced to live off the streets in order to survive and with no one to take care of him a nine year old Tsunayoshi Sawada should have died. But instead he lived learning the skills needed to make it through life until the day when he meets a Kwami and becomes a thief only whispered about thanks to his Miraculouses. Now all poor Tsuna has to do is survive being a cat burglar/hero, school, and the worlds greatest hitman trying to track him down for whatever reason. 16. It's a Naruto - Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir idea. Banished for a job well done and betrayed by the Team he once called family Naruto travels through the veil separating the Elemental Nations from the rest of the world to find a new purpose in life. Making his way towards Paris on the advice of a strange old man Naruto has to deal with Akumas, teenagers his age playing hero and the strange Miraculous he finds hidden among his things. 17. It's a Bleach - Fate/Stay Night idea that came from {ShiroHollow96}. The base idea is that the characters from Bleach replace the Servants used during the 5th Holy Grail War. Ichigo would be Saber, Grimmjow would be Berserker with some of the others taking the roles they'd fit as a Servant. 18. It's a Naruto - Percy Jackson and the Olympians idea. The idea came after coming across [Misplaced Shadows] and another weird idea I had after reading the One-Shot. Basically Naruto is the son of the minor god of death Jashin who is apart of the Shinto Pantheon. Zeus and the other Greeks being who they are piss off the other Pantheon and to get them back they kidnap the children they thought were hidden like Luke, the Angelo siblings, Percy, Thalia and or Leo dumping them in the Elemental Nations. It would be an area under Shinto control so they wouldn't be able to find them even if I only see Poseidon actually looking for his kid and in the apartment of Naruto Uzumaki who just got back from his three year training and is under orders to take on a team of Genin. He'll get a message from his godly parent saying to look after them for the time being until the Greeks pay up and with a bit of divine help everyone in Konoha will believe they are his new team of Genin. Naruto himself will be slightly dark since his father is Jashin and gains a slight boost in strength after each kill no matter if it is another Shinobi or one of the many monsters hunting the group of Demigods. 19. It's a Naruto - Pokémon idea. The idea is based off of Naruto's fear of ghost. Either through banishment or simply getting tired of Konoha and leaving for a better life he'd stumble across the ruins of Uzu no Kuni where dozens of Ghost Type Pokémon have taken up refuge and gathered in numbers over the years. Without realizing it at the time he would have passed through a barrier meant to keep Uzumakis safe trapping him within the ruins with the different Ghost Type Pokémon. In the end after everything is said and done he'd be kind of like Morty traveling the Elemental Nations and beyond with only ghost to keep him company while avoiding the people after him because of his not so secret status. 20. It's a Naruto - Dragon Ball Z idea. I don't have much of an idea but this was just a thought I had after reading a few different stories where Naruto's father is either Bardock or Broly but there was a Saiyan away when their world was destroyed. Tarble. The thought behind this idea was instead of ending up on Tech-Tech he crashes in the Elemental Nations where he runs into Kushina who takes it upon herself to turn the wimpy Saiyan into a real warrior after hearing his story which leads to Naruto being born years later. After all if Bardock was the father of Goku despite being a low class warrior then what's to say the same couldn't happen to the banished prince. 21. It's another Naruto - Bleach idea I had after watching the fight between Mayuri and Szayelaporro. The basics of this thought is that Naruto gains a piece of the mad Caption's soul through either an experiment in case something does kill him one day or through the sealing process where he was the Soul Reaper summoned but one way or another Mayuri will have a back-up hidden away in a forgotten part of the Human World that nobody but Nemu would know about. No matter how it goes Naruto would gain some of the Caption's personality and powers along with a connection to Ashisogi Jizo. In the end he'd be a somewhat nicer version of Mayuri but no less cruel to anyone he sees as a test subject and in the Elemental Nations that's a long list nobody wants to be on. 22. It's a kind of odd Katekyo Hitman Reborn - Harry Potter idea someone offered up that I liked. Basically Tsuna doesn't become Decimo until later in his life when he's in his early twenties. Though by then he's already graduated and made a life for himself having worked for then married the mysterious Lord/Lady Black who the underworld knows next to nothing about besides the fact s/he has a lot of influence. It'd be more fluff and family moments with a self-conscious Tsuna traveling the world with his husband/wife building him back up after years of bullying all the while doting on Teddy and narrowly missing the different factions of the underworld after them by sheer dumb luck. Reviews And here's something concerning 'REVIEWS' Writers- all of them, from famous authors to subtle FF writers- ALL depend on the feedback from our readers. Vision Dominican brought up an interesting albeit tragically true idea: "Lack of reviews is the greatest killer of fan fic writers out there. We at the institute wish to let the public know of how they can pitch in to save our dying writers. 1) Drop a review every other chapter. It may not seem like much, but reviews are actually what many of us want to see. That, and hits. Hits do make us happy but we don't really know if people like our story or not. 2) Visit our author page. Those kind of hits really make us happy. It's where we showcase our entourage of friends, beta readers, and stories. Some of us even tidy up with set areas for upcoming story ideas and character bios. 3) Send an email. While normally I'd prefer a review, emails are just as good. Really, it warms my heart to communicate with another reader or writer." What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think... "Why am I even here…?" "What's even the point of continuing?" "My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…" "I'll never be a good writer...I quit." These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head- that go through MY head- when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word. If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts… If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking…"Wow…fuck...I did it…" So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here? Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause. Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I'm it would have deeply enjoyed. So… Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise. Do me a favor: Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfic,net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind. And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard… If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile. Modify it in any way you see fit; there is no need to use my exact words. You make it say what you want it to say. Fear You aren't afraid of the dark. You're scared of what's in it. You aren't afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling. You aren't afraid of death. You're afraid of dying. You aren't afraid of the people around you. You're afraid of rejection. You aren't afraid to love. You're afraid of not being loved back. You aren't afraid of letting go. You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone. You aren't afraid to try again. You're afraid of being hurt for the exact same thing. Do you hate Sasuke? Do you believe he should die in a fire? Then Join the Sasuke Must Die Coalition of Konohakagure! Just add your name to our member list and post it in your profile to show your pride! - Sage of Asgard, Crossoverpairing Lover, SmallBasilisk28 [Loveless] [I like it and figured I'd post it on my profile.] Prologue (Poem) When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end The goddess descends from the sky Wings of light and dark spread afar She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting. Act I (Poem) Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess We seek it thus, and take to the sky Ripples form on the water's surface The wandering soul knows no rest. Act II (Poem) There is no hate, only joy For you are beloved by the goddess Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul Pride is lost Wings stripped away, the end is nigh. Act III (Poem) My friend, do you fly away now? To a world that abhors you and I? All that awaits you is a somber morrow No matter where the winds may blow My friend, your desire Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return. Act IV (Poem) My friend, the fates are cruel There are no dreams, no honor remains The arrow has left the bow of the goddess My soul, corrupted by vengeance Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey In my own salvation And your eternal slumber Legend shall speak Of sacrifice at world's end The wind sails over the water's surface Quietly, but surely. Act V (Poem) Even if the morrow is barren of promises Nothing shall forestall my return To become the dew that quenches the land To spare the sands, the seas, the skies I offer thee this silent sacrifice. [Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi by Shawny Wong] Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you'd better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don't take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors? Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki's interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favour. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It's no trouble.) Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don't you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you. REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile): 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) 2. Meet the recruitment bunny! 3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! 4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough! 5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! 6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! 7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys? 8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason! 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll If you fall for it, please put it on your profile as well! It's very funny, seeing as how I fell for it too. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. Bullying Dear bullies, See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet many of you won't. Who Am I? I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his friends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain. But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Twilit-Lloyd, Dregus, jbrew123, SmallBasilisk28 Eevee Power! Help Eevee take over the world by pasting this on your profile. Credit goes to EeveeInHeat. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .HR WHETHER IT BE BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!... copy and paste this into your profile if you agree. If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. Afraid much? Achluophobia - Fear of darkness. xAichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects. Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car. Total: 3 Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria. Total: 0 Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness. Total: 1 Dendrophobia - Fear of trees. Total: 0 Elurophobia - Fear of cats. Total: 0 Gophobia - Fear of marriage. Total: 0 Heliophobia - Fear of the sun. Total: 0 Itrophobia - Fear of Doctors Total: 0 Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms. Total: 0 Lekophobia - Fear of the color white. Total: 0 Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking. Total: 0 Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things Total: 1 Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight Total: 0 Papyrophobia - Fear of paper. Total: 0 Scolionophobia - Fear of school. Total: 0 Tachophobia - Fear of speed. Total: 2 V-Z Zoophobia - Fear of animals Total: 0 - PLEASE READ - I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart Message: GOD'S NOT DEAD!! Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son... Then copy and paste this into your profile If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says.. "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..." If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If your obsessed with anime and you know it, copy this and put in on your profile! If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, put this in your profile. If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it,copy and paste this to your profile. If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind. When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back. When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class. When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night. When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter. When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got. When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out. When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn. When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends. When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world. When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children. Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you. If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you? THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS!! FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!! The Top 100 Things I'd Do 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No." 8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out. 9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such. 10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat. 12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request. 15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice. 18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time. 19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father. 20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly. 21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set. 22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. 23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks. 24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.) 25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot. 26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber. 27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times. 28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble. 29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion. 30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief. 31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick. 32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by. 33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions. 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X. 36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. 37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant. 38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age. 39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army. 40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve. 41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices. 42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. 43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. 44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance. 45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling. 46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor. 47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature. 48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. 49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper. 50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks. 51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position. 52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about. 53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her. 54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention. 56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. 57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual. 58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner. 59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am. 60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords. 61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them. 62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight. 63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals. 64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage. 65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment. 66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system. 67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency. 68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again. 69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild. 70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner. 71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no. 72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them. 73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win. 74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk. 75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time. 76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.) 77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer. 78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical." 79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins. 80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress. 81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw. 82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure. 83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him. 84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex. 85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button." 86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded. 87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them. 88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again. 89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him. 90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door. 91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important. 92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.) 93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first. 94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value. 95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look. 96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa. 97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled. 98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution. 99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size. 100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached. Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how…?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And ... I'm taking this because…??) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about news flash…!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh ... fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and copy and paste this onto your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle). Seme rule's (reposted from ilove0t6forever) 1) Semes don't eat cake, ever 2) Everybody is out to rape your uke, protect his chasity by guarding him day and night 3) Then number of dildos that any average seme owns( for his uke) would put any sex shop to shame 4) Ukes have pheromones, chances are you can't sense them, equip all aggressors among your underlings with gas masks just in case 5) If you are foreign, you consider Japanese men cute and cuddly and will go to extreme lengths to make him your uke. This is especially true of american CEO's,exchange students, middle eastern princes, french patisseries, Chinese mafia hunks, Italian captains, and English noblemen 6) You don't have think too hard about the perfect birthday present for your uke, just do him 8 times in a row 7) Seme's would hardly have sex completly naked, that's a uke thing 8) If you can't make your uke cum by only licking his ass, you suck in bed 9) Selective hearing is a necessary trait for a seme. When your uke says "no" what you hear is," Please ignore my tears and resisting, and all that jazz because, really. i want you to continue 10) Semes have to have different colored hair to his uke 11) After sex, you always wear the pajama pant and your uke will wear your shirt 12) Rape= love, the more you love your uke the more right you have to rape him 13) Regardless of what kind of seme you are, you love to talk dirty during sex 14) Want to know the meaning behind you uke words? use your handy uke-tionary! "No i don't want this" = "Fuck me!". "Stop it!" = "Fuck me". "I need to sleep" = "Fuck me!". "What's for dinner?" = "Fuck me!" D* put this R* on your E* page if you A* prefer your M* imagination S* over reality Please read this: This is a true story. All schools have a class clown, someone that gets on everyones nerves and that no one likes. There was one of these boys in this one school. Nobody liked him at all. He had no friends, the teachers hated him for his disruptiveness, and the students found him annoying beyond belief. He never seemed to care. One day, he had finally stepped on his teachers last nerve. What the teacher did was make everyone in the class stand up and tell the boy something they didn't like about him. As each of the thirty students stood up and said something about him they didn't like, he only sat and didn't seem to mind. All of the students did it. That day, when school was out, the boy went home, grabbed his dads gun, and shot himself in the head. If you think that the teacher was to blame, and that what she did was morally wrong and completely shameful, copy and paste this into your profile. Then, if you would have been the one to stand up and say "I'm not going to do this" then add your username to the list. Antire5, EmoWolves of Shadow, Killercat-nya, Juura99, Ezlyluved96 (aka Renae), MyNameIsLambo, Crystal Prime, VectorPrime155, candycanelila, SmallBasilisk28 If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! TH15 M3554G3 53RV35 TO PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG TH1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 TH1NG5! 1N TH3 B3G1NN1NG 1T WA5 H4RD BUT NOW, ON TH15 LIN3 YOUR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 1T 4UT0M4T1C4LLY W1THOUT 3V3N TH1NK1NG 4B0UT 1T, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C34RT41N P30PL3 C4N R3AD TH15. C0PY 1F U C4N FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and and make freinds on here we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA), Hullop (USA), Mayonaka Naze (Dominican Republic), RUHLSAR000 (USA) PotterAnimeJackson(Canada), Mermaid-Luchia(Australia), Jostanos (USA), TheBlackSeaReaper (Bermuda), sakurademonalchemist (USA), lokinorsedeity (USA), kyuuo(Germany), SmallBasilisk28 (USA) If you have insanely annoying siblings copy and paste this on your profile If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile ( Sometimes i do some times i don't...) If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile! If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile Random Stuff 90% of woman don't like men wearing pink shirts, ironically 90% of men that wear pink shirts don't like woman. I would die for you, but if you have to ask me too you're not worth it. I'm not calling you a slut but if your vagina had a password it would be “1234” If someone hates you for no reason, give the motherfucker a reason! If you're wrong and you shut up, your wise. If you're right and you shut up, your married. My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 in the morning. Can you believe that!? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums. Sex is like Pizza, when it's good it's good and when it's bad... it's still pretty good. There are two rules for success: 1:Never tell everything you know 2:... Boobs are proof that men can focus on more then one thing at once. Can you spare just $2? Rangi is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no breaks and only one pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video... it's fucking hilarious. Getting into an argument with a woman is like getting arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you. Girls don't dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys they would walk around naked all the time. When I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying “I hid the body... now what?” Woman who say men only want to have sex, are woman who have nothing else to offer then that. Dear McDonald's cashier, don't give me that look. There's no age limit on a happy meal... don't forget the toy too! There are two types of people in this world, those who admit to peeing in the shower and dirty fucking liars! Men look at boobs like a small child looks at a puppy locked in a cage. We both just want to set them free and play with them. I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were really badly hurt and needed medical attention and I had a phone to call an ambulance... I'd order a pizza. I'm not saying we should go kill all the stupid people, I'm just saying we should remove warning labels and let the problem sort itself out. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more then standing in a garage makes you a car. I hate it when old people poke me at weddings and tell me “You're Next”, so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. Not impressed with Jesus turning water into wine? I heard Russians can make a potato into Vodka. Impressed yet? How pumped would you be driving home from work knowing someplace in your house there is a monkey your going to battle. You walk in. "Monkey you here!" Monkey comes out with Armour and a Sword. Makes me sad because I know it will never happen. Give it to me she screamed I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now. She could scream As much as she wanted but... I was keeping the umbrella. A Hetalian's Pledge I pledge to think of Italy whenever I'm helpless... or someone mentions pasta. I pledge to think of Germany whenever I try too hard... or I silence a room. I pledge to think of Japan whenever I feel out of place... or I take too many pictures. I pledge to think of America whenever I need a hero... or a sandwich. I pledge to think of Britain whenever I'm not taken seriously... or someone fails at cooking. I pledge to think of France whenever I feel misunderstood... or mischievous. I pledge to think of Russia whenever I'm missing summer... or my faucet. I pledge to think of China whenever I'm unfairly treated... or I'm mistaken for the other gender. I pledge to think of Spain whenever I feel unappreciated... or I'm too oblivious to notice I am. I pledge to think of Austria whenever I give up too easily... or I manipulate others into doing my chores. I pledge to think of Hungary whenever I fight others' battles... or I support another yaoi pairing. I pledge to think of Liechtenstein whenever I barely survive... or someone misspells my name. I pledge to think of Poland whenever I'm shy... or I (like totally) win using my own rules. I pledge to think of Switzerland whenever I get paranoid... or I rock frilly pink pajamas. I pledge to think of Belarus whenever I have an unrequited crush... or take crushing too far. I pledge to think of Estonia whenever I feel powerless... or I have computer problems. I pledge to think of Latvia whenever I talk without thinking... or I feel way too short. I pledge to think of Lithuania whenever I am persecuted... or I lose a game of chess. I pledge to think of Romania whenever I get judged by my appearance... or I try to use magic. I pledge to think of Ukraine whenever I feel way too sorry... or a bit too mature. I pledge to think of Denmark whenever I'm criticized... or I have a little too much fun. I pledge to think of Finland whenever I feel too different.. or I'm celebrating the holidays. I pledge to think of Iceland whenever I'm bullied into saying something... or I procrastinate with candy. I pledge to think of Norway whenever I'm not listened to... or I'm surrounded by idiots. I pledge to think of Sweden whenever I'm misinterpreted... or I use a Swedish Death Glare. I pledge to think of Greece whenever I have different priorities... or I see a cat. I pledge to think of Romano whenever I feel unloved... or I swear my a* off. I pledge to think of Turkey whenever I'm overprotective... or I wear a mask. I pledge to think of South Korea whenever I express myself oddly... or I see anything made in Korea (da-ze!). I pledge to think of Seychelles whenever I'm hated for something I didn't do... or I find a swordfish. I pledge to think of Canada whenever I feel invisible... or there's maple syrup involved. I pledge to think of Sealand whenever I am overambitious... or sell stuff on Ebay. I pledge to think of HRE whenever I leave someone behind... or realize my name or title is completely wrong. I pledge to think of Prussia whenever I can't admit my fears... or I redefine "AWESOME." Everyone has a little bit of each nation in them, including me. Therefore, I pledge these things as a true Hetalian. Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to show your Hetalian spirit! Luna Safire, Crazy Awesome Neko, Katie-Kat1129, Raven G. Black, Painting Politics and Poland, LadyBookworm18, CottonCandy57, Mona the yaoi freak, Warriorgirl1234, Ayaayuki12, The Monster inside of Me, SmallBasilisk28 My OCs. Hope I did this right and people like the ideas behind them. FullMetal Salamander OC Introduction of Character Name: Noah Lockser Age: 16 Gender: Male Nickname(s): None Alias(es): Atlas Birth Date: ??/??/?? Occupation: Freelance/Mage, Team Natsu Class: S-class Affiliation(s): Fairy Tail The Character’s Appearance Appearance: He is a tanned male with dark blue eyes and unkempt light green hair with a boxers body with slightly toned muscles. He wears a light green shirt under a black fur collared jacket along with a pair of dark blue cargo pants with his sisters doll and a pocket watch attached to his belt and steel toed boots. Height: 5'2' Weight: 152 lbs About the Character Personality: Noah's laid back with a constant smile on his face enjoying everyday he gets to laze around without getting caught. Loves a good fight but would drop everything if his sister or anyone he truly cares about gets hurt sometimes running into danger when he does. Noah keeps himself guarded after the tragic events that happened during his childhood only letting a few people see the real him when he lets his guard down. Fear(s): Losing the family he has and having his apples taken away from him. Likes: His sister, teammates, apples, a good place to sleep, forest area with lots of trees and plants. Dislikes: Anyone that gets between him and his sister, hurting defenseless people, large bodies of water, seafood. Habit(s): Tongue biting if stressed and tapping his hands on anything solid when lost in his thoughts. Flaw(s): Lets his guard down to often getting ambushed more than others and getting distracted when concentrating on his work. Talent(s): Can control plants causing them to grow at a rapid pace and his masters close range boxing style. A Fractured Thief OC Introduction of Character Name: Mother Mariah Age: 97 Gender: Female Nickname(s): None Alias(es): None Birth Date: ??/??/?? Occupation: Leader of the Cour des miracles Class: Sky Affiliation(s): Cour des miracles The Character’s Appearance Appearance: She is a dark skinned elder Sky with glassy brown eyes and greying hair. She keeps her hair up in a bun and despite her station as one of the most powerful women in Paris wears simple clothes and jewelry. Height: 4'9' Weight: 113 lbs About the Character Personality: A fierce woman who carved a name for herself in the past Mariah is still one of the most powerful players running Paris's underworld. With age though also came time to think so after years of blood shed fighting off all who tried to encroach on her territory Mariah know spends her time looking after things from within the court's walls. Fear(s): None. After living a long life of blood shed she's made piece with her past and has no regrets. Likes: The children she's come to care for over the years. Dislikes: Anyone who tries messing with her territory or the men and women she looks after like her own children. Habit(s): Pinching cheeks to shut people up when they start babbling. Flaw(s): Is to old to care about any flaws she might have. Talent(s): A retired master thief. Also a Sky and in charge of such a large spy network to where nothing happens in Paris she doesn't know about. |
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