A Piece of Advice for Writing Reviews

Hey everyone! As you all know, fanfiction writers love to get reviews. They brighten our days and tend to encourage us to continue the stories we have going. That being said, some of my close friends and I have been receiving some reviews lately that, likely unintentionally, discourage us. Therefore, I am going to offer some advice for potential reviewers that will hopefully help all you wonderful people cheer on authors as they write your favorite pieces.

1) Make your reviews more than a simple request for an update. We all know that it can be frustrating to wait a long time for the next update on our favorite story, but we also know that fanfiction writers have lives outside of writing fantastic works. Everyone only has so much time in a day, we don't get paid for writing fanfiction, and inspiration can be hard to come by, all of which can lead to sparse updates for a story. Under these circumstances, a review that says nothing more than "Update please" can be incredibly discouraging, because it tells an author that the only thing someone appreciates about their story is how fast they update. A good alternative to this might be writing something like "I can't wait to see what happens next" at the very end of your review.

This leads me to 2) Compliment the work. You obviously read every chapter of the work that the author has posted and then decided to review for a reason. Was it the characterization? Was it the alternate universe that the author created? Was it the attention to detail? Was it the behind the scenes look at a character's thought process in a chapter or episode? Tell the author. They can't read your mind, and receiving a review that details all the things you loved about the chapter or one-shot that they posted can give them a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Another thing you can include in a review is 3) Constructive criticism. Author's sometimes make mistakes in their stories, whether they've messed up their own continuity or simply stated that a character's hair was two completely different colors in the exact same scene, that don't get caught during the editing process. Politely pointing out these mistakes in an effort to help the author make their already great piece even better can help show that you care about their story. Unfortunately, there seem to be some misconceptions going around about what constructive criticism is, so I'm going to give you some basic dos and don'ts in an attempt to clear up the situation.

Do point out minor inconsistencies within a chapter, whether they are about a character's hair color or something that author writes in one chapter that contradicts something that happened in an earlier chapter. Do point out large plot holes that are not addressed within the story and that make it difficult for you to immerse yourself in the author's fictional world. Do point out confusing sentence structure, grammar, and missing, misspelled, or misused words within a chapter. Don't criticize an author on something that is not to your personal taste. By personal taste, I am referring to a situation or relationship that you, personally dislike. I am not talking about a relationship that you dislike because it seems thrown together at the last minute or unnatural, or a situation that you dislike because it makes the plot seem disjointed, because those are both pieces of constructive criticism that can help an author improve their piece. I am talking about a relationship that you dislike simply because you don't like seeing those two characters paired together or a plot twist you dislike because it wasn't what you would have chose. If you try to make an author change a plot point or relationship by demanding that the author conform to your personal tastes, you are discouraging the author from writing any more and trying to turn their story, which they've dedicated a large amount of time and effort to, into the story that you want written. Don't berate an author for mistakes they might have made. The author is not a perfect human, and yelling at them over a mistake won't make the author want to correct it or write more of the story you're reviewing.

To recap everything you've just read, there are three things you need to keep in mind when writing a review. 1) Make your reviews more than a simple request for an update. 2) Compliment their work. 3) Offer constructive criticism (and if you're ever questioning whether something is constructive criticism, take a look at the listed dos and don'ts in the paragraph above this one). Hopefully these tips will help you the next time you sit down to write a review!

Upcoming Stories:

the Scream Series: Shade, Catalyst, Revolution, Evolution, Ascension, and the Meridian. - (Danny Phantom)
Titans North - (Teen Titans)
NOVA - (RWBY)

Favorite Quotes:

"The more we create, the more we destroy and the more we destroy, the more we create."-Me

"It's hard raising a child. But not if you hold them up in the air."-My sister

"Life's like a novel with the end ripped out"-Rascal Flatts

“I am un-apologetically Aom. I would rather be hated for who I am than to be loved for who I am not. I won’t apologize for being me.” - Glee-chan on Deviantart.

"DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK YOUR FEET OFF AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD!!!"-Edward Elric (voiced by Vic Mignogna).

"All is one and one is all."-Izumi Curtis

"Name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"-Axel, Kingdom Hearts.

"We just witnessed a classic example of what I call miss directed rage, which, I believe the technical term is, being an ass."-Shigure. Fruits Basket.

"Stop crying! You think just because you cry someone is always going to come and save you?!"-Kyoko. Skip Beat.

"Damn it, there's so many idiots who's asses I have to kick! I'll have to start carrying a list just to keep track of them all!"-Ed. Fullmetal Alchemist.

"When life gives you lemons, write a lemon fic"-Me

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth."-Alphonse Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

Willy: "Reading is boring
Cipur: How can you say that!?! I want to know everything humans know!
Willy: But why?
Cipur: Because...knowledge is everything. Knowledge is freedom, it's better than flying." Willy the Sparrow

Little boy: "If you are my babysister, why are you coming in through the window?
11th Doctor: Because if I was going out the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention." Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol

"...And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot good you are! You gave up on me! That's rude." 10th Doctor (David Tennant), Doctor Who

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"-French guard from Monty Python.

"Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch."- Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.

I am the troll that lives under the bridge.
What happened to the bridge?
I was too tall for it.- A conversation between me and my roommate.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When Life gives you lemons, squeeze them in your enemy's eyes!

The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or :( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character!
10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame.
11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17. Thou shalt show and not tell.
18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art.
20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'