The Sorting Hat says that I belong in Ravenclaw!
Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose intelligence is surest."

Ravenclaw students tend to be clever, witty, intelligent, and knowledgeable.
Notable residents include Cho Chang and Padma Patil (objects of Harry and Ron's affections), and Luna Lovegood (daughter of The Quibbler magazine's editor).

Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created.

Get Sorted Now!

Some stuff I found on profiles that I find interesting.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Come on! Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say “Run, bitch, run!”

FRIENDS: Bail you outa prison.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you’re in there.

FRIENDS:Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS:Are offend when you make fun of them.
BEST FRIENDS:Kick your ass and all's forgiven.

FRIENDS:Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Will be next to you singing a jail song.

FRIENDS:Will tell you forget it when you want to vandalize somebody's house.
BEST FRIENDS:Are the one's getting fined by the police with you.

FRIENDS:Think your insane for jumping off a roof on to a trampoline.
BEST FRIENDS:Are jumping right after you.

FRIENDS:Will look at you like your crazy when you tell them you're an alien from outer space.
BEST FRIEND:Will break you out of the loony bin and drive you to New Mexico to meet the mothership.

FRIENDS:Will crack under interrogation.
BEST FRIENDS:Will keep their mouth shut, and help you hide the body.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

libra101 is the kind of best friend that, if my house was on fire, she'd be making s'mores and hitting on the firemen.(She'd most likely be the one that started it.)

Music is my life. Put this if you listen to real music
(o) To REAL music.

I'm not crazy.I'm psychotic.There's a difference.

When you're little, toys are colorful chunks of plastic. When you're older, they're something that's potentially dangerous.

I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.

Women go into marriage expecting men to change, and they don't. Men go into marriages expecting women to stay the same, but they don't.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

There's nothing that can't be fixed by:A)duct tape B)chocolate or C)running it over.I prefer option C.

The reason I'm still here is because Heaven doesn't want me,and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

The statistics on insanity are that 1 of every 4 people have some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Don't get mad;Get sadistic.

My mind isn't twisted, it's sprained.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, then only left-handed people are in their right minds.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Common sense is the enemy of comedy.

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you at the same time.

Knowledge is power;Power is the root of all evil.Therefore study evil and excel at it.

What is this 'kindness speak of?

Why don't you slip into something comfortable;like a coma.I will gladly help you.

Define 'normal'

When in doubt...throw a chair.

If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'

If the opposite of pro is con, what's the opposite of Progress?

Only two things are infinite:1)The universe.2)Human stupidity

There are few problems that can not be solved with large amounts of explosives.

Boys don't fall for me; I trip them.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal your neighbor's news paper that's the time to do it.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Keep smiling;It makes people wonder what your up to.

Catch a man a fish, and you sell it to him. Teach a man to fish and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think

If I won't be myself, who will?

Anyone can write. But to capture an audience with so much power, spirit and feeling that they forget everything around them - that is a true gift.

I can forgive, and I can forget, but I want you to know, you've lost my respect.

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between how things are and how they ought to be.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Reeses Pieces, Coco Puff, mess with me; I’ll fuck you up.

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

If I were trapped in a single room with two tigers, you, and a gun with two bullets I'd shoot you twice.

Someone call Toys R Us, they want their Barbie back

If you go down the wrong lane in reverse, is it still legal?

Why is vanilla ice cream white and vanilla extract brown?

Suicide is our way of saying to God "You can't fire me! I quit!"

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Mirrors can't talk and you're lucky they can't laugh.

I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the heck happened to you?

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits! I will not take advantage of the handicapped!

You sit and listen while I talk about fictional characters like they actually exist.

Yes I am insane, but sometimes I have these periods of boredom where I have to act normal like you.

They say murderers are loners...OF COURSE THEY'RE LONERS! THEY'VE BEEN KILLING PEOPLE!!

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Animals were created to love those that nobody else wants.

Why kill them with kindness when using a chainsaw is a lot cooler?

When I start killing off the human race, you'll be sorry you weren't nicer to me

Neither guns, nor knives, nor axes kill people. The people living just next door or sitting next to you at work are the ones that kill people.

PALE is the new TAN.

I'm not the kind of girl who makes threats to scare you: I plan my revenge silently.

The world is going to Hell. And I am driving the bus.

I realize that humor isn't for everyone: It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.

Love is like Heaven, but it can hurt like Hell.

If you dug a hole straight through the Earth and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

It's safer waiting in line behind a serial killer than waiting in front of one.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Roses are red, violets are blue,
St. Valentine was beheaded, and you should be too.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you hear voices in you head, copy this to your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you are over the age of 12 and still watch cartoon network, disney channel ect., and are proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you should be the President of Cartoon Network because apparently the current one sucks, add your name and Copy and paste this on your profile: Icewhip, Anonymous Dudette, wrestlingfan438, GhostAuthor,

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone (Or more than one someone!) who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this on to your profile.

If you've ever talked/sang to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar copy this into your profile.

If your crazy and proud of it, copy this on to your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy people for the hell of it... copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird... Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.

If you have your own little world copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you've ever gone into a laughing fit for no reason, copy this on to your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever seen a movie so many time you can quote it word for word, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing at something in a book, copy this to your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.Wierd is the same as different, which means the same as unique, then weird is good.If you are weird and proud copy and paste this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong arguing with 's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.If you agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.AnimeKittyCafe, Willowfae, SxAmethyst, Sia Bakura, Balmung's Angel, Ash 2112, XDVanilla, Little Prue, GhostAuthor.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end,reading numerous fanfictions,copy and paste this on to your profile,and add your name to this list: danyan, StarDragon411, Mystic Katt, TrueThinker, Softballgirl9411, Witchdoctor42, crocgirl2815, mewmewice,daisukezgirl13,Magnatron's Crazy Sister,Jewel and Koal,GhostAuthor,

Open up Microsoft Word. Put the font on 42, and type in Q33 NY (The plane no. of the 9/11 bombing and the initials of New York). Highlight what you typed, then change the font to Wingdings. If the result made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, copy and paste.

If..
You say Princess, I say Serial Killer.
You say Pink, I say Black.
You say Justin Bieber, I say Three Days Grace.
You say Miley Cyrus, I say Pink.
You say litter, I say blood.
You say Bunnies, I say Psychopaths.
You say Cheerleader, I say whore.
You say High School Musical, I say X-Men:Evolution.
You say why am I laughing so much, I say why so serious with a sharp pencil.
You say Twilight, I say X-Men.
You say Edward, I say Spike.
You say Jacob, I say Wolfman.
You say Popular girl ,I say future stripper/prostitute.
You say Pop, I say Rock.
You say I am a freak, I say what the hell else is new, dumbass?
You say castle, I say Arkham Asylum.
You say Los Angeles, I say Gotham City.

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

You Know You're a Book Addict If:
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends to read it.
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book.

1,2, Freddy's coming for you

3,4, Jason's at the door
5,6, Scream'll fix you quick
7,8, Lecter's at the gate
9,10, Michael’s home again

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Small Children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing

01. I need to tell you a secret.(look at #5)
02. The answer is... (look at #11)
03. Don't get mad. (look at #15)
04. Calm down. (look at #13)
05. First. (look at #2)
06. Don't be that mad. (look at #12)
07. I just wanted to say hi lol :P
08. What i wanted to tell you is... (look at 14)
09. Be patient. (look at #4)
10. This is the last time okay. (look at #7)
11. I'm not crazy. (look at #6)
12. Sorry. (look at #8)
13. Don't be hype. (look at #10)
14. I don't know how to say this. (look at #3)
15. You must be ticked off now. (look at #9)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they laid down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a moment: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why? - What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent." (This is for those of us who think so hard that we miss the simple things in life. I'm guilty!! Are you?)

Go ahead and call me retarded. Then everybody will have sympathy for me when I beat you into a bloody pulp.

Anybody can fight a killer. To love him and not fight him takes a special kind of person.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

Live every day as if it were your last, and then some day you'll be right.

When you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares into you.

Laughing is something you do while torturing somebody, slow and painfully

Blood is red, bruises are blue, my dear sweet arch nemesis; a violent death is the only death for you

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed,destroy all evidence you tried.

Sometimes a road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

When you cry, I'll cry,you laugh, I'll laugh,you fall down a ski slope, I'll laugh even harder.

Forgive your enemies,but remember their names.

Don't piss off an Anger Management Class, drop-out.

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Everybody is somebody else weirdo.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

If ignorance is bliss, then why is there school?

The solution to skin cancer…become nocturnal.

The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

I'm not a complete idiot.Some parts are missing.

Fun flies when you're doing time.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

My reality check bounced.

God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Stress: The condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If my music’s too LOUD, then you’re too OLD.

Common sense is the most uncommon thing in the world.

Fear is a good thing; it means you're paying attention.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone across the face.

I met some crazy people. They made me their leader!

I'm crazy enough to kill,but that's not your problem. The problem is that I'm also smart enough to get away with it.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy, yet guys only want one thing from many girls. No wonder so many relationships go up in flames.

Most people are alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Live a little. Because you can't be old and wise if you were never young and crazy.

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing.

Live for the moments you can't put into words.

"Be Yourself" is just about the worst advice you can give some people.

Crazy doesn't even BEGIN to cover it.

Cute but psycho. It evens itself out.

Facebook it like a jail; You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't actually know.

A fact of life: after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F . ..

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life is short, so party we must!

Chaos, panic and disorder... Well, my work here is done.

Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in back seats can lead to children.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Dogs are better than cats.
X It's hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
X Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
X Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
X You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
X Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes
TOTAL:12

YOUR GIRL SIDE:
X You love to shop. (But for books)
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
X Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
X You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
X You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.
TOTAL:4

1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

TIME FOR A MATH LESSON

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint What makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over one hundred percent. How about achieving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions;

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8118423151811= 98 percent

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11141523125475= 96 percent

but

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 120209202145 =100 percent

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2211212198920= 103 percent

and look how far this one will take you,

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1191911919199147= 118 percent!

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, it's really the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.

T-shirt: PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

13 things PMS Stands for:

13. Pass My Shotgun
12. Psychotic Mood Swing
11. Perpetual Munching Spree
10. Puffy Mid-Section
9. People Make me Sick
8. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
6. Pimples May Surface
5. Pass My Sweats
4. Pissy Mood Syndrome
3. Poor Men Suck
2. Pack My Stuff
1. Potential Murder Suspect

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I'm ENGLISH, so I must be UPTIGHT
I'm SCOTTISH so I must be STINGY
I'm IRISH so I must be STUPID
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
Everyone HATES to be stereotyped, so FIGHT it. and DON'T do it.

I am the girl who doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl who people look through when I say something. I am the girl who spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl who people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl who doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with X-Men, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this on to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Tigress5674, sistersgrimmaddict,gothicgirl101, Lupa Dracolis,GhostAuthor,

My Favorite Quotes.

Ben:They got us completely surrounded!
Logan: "Good! That means we've got a 360 degree free-fire zone!-Ben Grimm and Logan 2

Ben:I'm outta ammo.
Logan:I'm dry as well.
Ben:We gave it our best shot, pal.
Logan:Yeah, but discretion is the better part o' valor. The logical thing to do is surrender.
Ben:You think?
Logan:Naah.
Ben:I thought so. It's clobberin' time!-Ben Grimm and Logan 2

Gambit: "You know it's a bad sign when I'm de voice of reason..."Unknown

Creed:I know I got my feet on yer crummy armrest. I don't need you to tell me that, and if you open yer ugly yap one more time, I'm gonna undo yer last three facelifts!-Sabretooth: Death Hunt 3

Big Ugly: When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know, I was there.
Spike: You were there? Oh, please. If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock.
Big Ugly: I oughta rip your throat out.
Spike: I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.Buffy the Vampire Slayer S2 Ep3 School Hard

Buffy Summers: Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.-Buffy the Vampire Slayer S2 Ep3 School Hard

Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fightin' to the death. Now you're back making googly eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah. You're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.-Buffy the Vampire Slayer S3 Ep8 Lover's Walk

Buffy: Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.
Giles: Oh, please.
Spike: Giles, make her stop.
Giles: [walks away] If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand.-Buffy the Vampire Slayer S4 Ep4 Something Blue

Spike: [chained to Giles' bath] Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll...
Giles: You'll do what? Lick me to death?-Buffy the Vampire Slayer S4 Ep4 Something Blue

Spike: Don't I get a cookie?
Buffy: No.
Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
[Xander, Anya and Giles turn and stare incredulously at Buffy.]
Buffy: [embarrassed] ... That was the spell!

Spike: You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy.-Buffy the Vampire Slayer S7 Ep20 Touched

Dr. House:(In a southern accent) Come on in, brothers and sister! Welcome to the house of the Lord!
Dr. Cameron: House, come on, the chapel?
Dr. House: We have been blessed with the miracle of a new symptom. Brother, can you testify as to why this poor child’s eyeball rolled back into his head?
Dr. Chase: It’s consistent with jimsonweed poisoning — ocular paralysis. (A man sitting in the pew gets up and leaves)
Dr. Chase: (Whispering) Sorry.
Dr. House: The wicked shall deceive ye, because they have turned from the Lord and are idiots. His ocular muscle didn’t paralyze. It pirouetted.
Dr. Cameron: MS…
Dr. House: It is easier for a wise man to gain access to heaven…
Dr. Cameron: Can you stop that? Just say not MS-House M.D

Dr. Allison Cameron: Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises: heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body wight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy. And if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?-House M.D.

Shego: You talking to me?
Drakken: Look, you were... obviously upset about your broken nail?!
Shego: Meaning?
Drakken: Um... you were... overreacting?
Shego: Overreacting? OVERREACTING?? ME?? Fire in the hole!-Kim Possible S3 Ep2 Emotion Sickness

Shego: I don't do cakes, ok, I don't bake them, and I don't jump out of them!-Kim Possible S4 Ep2 The Big Job

Jimmy Napolitano: And Gibbs, you hurt my boy, I'll kill your brothers, your uncles, your father. And after their funerals I'll kill you.
Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No brothers, no uncles, my father passed years ago. I do have three ex-wives, whose names and addresses I will *gladly* fax on to you.
[Jimmy hangs up the phone]
Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Booh, he hung up.-NCIS

Joxer: There's a lot we can learn from each other, you know.
Autolycus: Sure. Hey, why don't you start by teaching me how to disappear without a trace?
Joxer: Okay! First, you...Hey!
Autolycus: (to Gabrielle) Why is he here?
Gabrielle: He knows Jett.
Autolycus: No, in a grander sense - why is he here?-Xena: Warrior Princess S3 Ep8 The King of Assassins

Xena: If this is to be our destiny let's see it out together. Even in death, Gabrielle... I will never leave you...-Xena: Warrior Princess S3 Ep13 One Against An Army

Xena: But you are my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things that I'm not capable of, then it's because of you. Don't you know that by now?-Xena: Warrior Princess S3 Ep13 One Against An Army

Ares: I never knew you were looking for a father.
Xena: I'm not.
Ares: Well then someone clearly has the job.
Xena: Yeah, Gabrielle. (Gabrielle smirks)
Ares: I would have *paid* to see that...- Xena: Warrior Princess S5 Ep10 Seeds of Faith

Xena: Always remember I love you, Gabrielle. If I only had thirty seconds to live, this is how I'd want to live them, looking into your eyes.-Xena: Warrior Princess S6 Ep22 A Friend in Need

Two-Face: You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into POWDER. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition: therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damned head off!-Batman Forever

The Joker:Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.-Batman:The Dark Knight

Adam: What are your qualifications?
Betelgeuse: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?-Beetlejuice

Tyler Durden: It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.-Fight Club

Freddy Krueger:If the food don't kill ya, the service will.-A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Daniel 'Dan' Jordan: Krueger!
Freddy Krueger: Well, it ain't Dr. Seuss.-A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

Oprah Noodlemantra: All right. Once again. This is your brain.
[Cracks egg]
Oprah Noodlemantra: This is your brain on drugs. Questions?
[Freddy hits him with the frying pan]
Freddy Krueger: Yeah! What are you on? Looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me.-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddy Krueger: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but nothing will ever kill me. Well, let's see now. First, they tried burning me.
[slices off thumb]
Freddy Krueger: Then they tried burying me.
[slices off index finger]
Freddy Krueger: But this... this is my favorite.
Freddy Krueger: [gives a finger gesture] They even tried holy water!
Freddy Krueger: [slices off middle finger, drops hand out of frame and holds it up again with all fingers intact] But I just keep on tickin'... because they promised me that.
Doc: They?
Freddy Krueger: The dream people. The ones that gave me this job. In dreams... I am forever! Too bad you're not.-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Freddy Krueger: [after absorbing the dead John] You forgot where you came from, kid... but I know where you're going.
[cut to a Springwood sign: "Population 7742" - it is crossed out and replaced with "7741"]-Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm: In the absence of light, darkness prevails. There are things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. Make no mistake about that. And we are the ones who bump back.-Hellboy

John Myers: What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. Is it his origins? The way he comes to life? I don't think so. It's the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he decides to end them.-Hellboy

Gomez: To live without you, only that would be torture.
Morticia: A day alone, only that would be death.-The Addams Family

Gomez: Look at her. I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss.
Gomez: [Morticia wakes up] Unhappy, darling?
Morticia: Oh, yes. Yes completely.
[Gomez sits]
Morticia: Gomez... Sun. Il me perce comme un poingard.
Gomez: Oh, Tish. That's French.
Morticia: Oui.
Gomez: Cara mia.
[kisses Morticia's hand]
Gomez: En garde, Monsieur Soleil!
Morticia: Gomez...
Gomez: Querida?
Morticia: Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.-The Addams Family

Morticia: And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.-The Addams Family

Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar!
Scar: Oh, no, Mufasa. Perhaps *you* shouldn't turn your back on *me*.
Mufasa: [roars, runs to stand before him] Is that a challenge?
Scar: Temper, temper. I wouldn't *dream* of challenging you.
Zazu: Pity! Why not?
Scar: Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength... I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool.-The Lion King

Alonzo Harris: To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.-Training Day

Gordon Gekko: Someone reminded me I once said "Greed is good". Now it seems it's legal. Because everyone is drinking the same Kool Aid.-Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

Wreck-It Ralph: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me.-Wreck-It Ralph

Nightcrawler: Excuse me? They say you can imitate anybody, even their voice.
Mystique: as Nightcrawler Even their voice.
Nightcrawler: Then why not stay in disguise all the time? You know, look like everyone else.
Mystique: Because we shouldn't have to.-X2:X-Men United

Wolverine: Got any beer?
Bobby: This is a school.
Wolverine: So that's a no?
Bobby: Yeah, that's a no.
Wolverine: Well, do you have anything other than chocolate milk?-X2:X-Men United

Nightcrawler: You know, outside the circus, most people were afraid of me. But I didn't hate them. I pitied them. Do you know why? Because most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes.
Storm: Well, I gave up on pity a long time ago.
Nightcrawler: Someone so beautiful should not be so angry.
Storm: Sometimes anger can help you survive.
Nightcrawler: So can faith.-X2:X-Men United

Logan: to Colossus and Rogue The whole world's goin' to hell, you're just gonna sit there?-X-Men:The Last Stand

Wade Wilson: I love this weapon more than any other thing in the whole wide world, and you wanna know why?
Victor Creed: No.
Wade Wilson: It's memorable. Sure it's a little bulky, tough to get on a plane. You whip out a couple of swords at your ex-girlfriends wedding. They will never, ever forget it.
Victor Creed: That's funny Wade, but I've think you've mistaken me with someone who gives a shit.
Wade Wilson: Granted, it's probably not as intimidating as having a gun, or bone-claws or the fingernails of a bag-lady... Manicure?-X-Men Origins:Wolverine

Wade Wilson: Fred got a new tattoo. I'm concerned.
Logan: looks at Fred's tattoo of a woman Jesus, Fred, you just met her last night.
Frederick J. Dukes: I love her.
Logan: You love her? After one night?
Frederick J. Dukes: She's a gymnast.-X-Men Origins:Wolverine

Frederick J. Dukes: You gonna puke?
Logan: If we were meant to fly, we'd grow wings.
David North: Aww, don't worry Nancy, more people die from driving than flying.
Logan: Yeah? How 'bout impaling?
John Wraith: Hey be nice. Or be your approximation of nice... would you like a bucket?-X-Men Origins:Wolverine

William Stryker: Your country needs you.
Logan: I'm Canadian.X-Men Origins:Wolverine

Victor Creed: Why? You don't call. You don't write. How else am I supposed to get our attention?-X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Gambit:You don't like flying,huh?
Wolverine:I'm fine. Just concentrate on what your doing.
Gambit:You sure? You got a little bit of sweat on your brow there.
Wolverine: Very funny. Just keep your eyes on the...
Gambit:On what? The clouds? Keep my eyes on the clouds?
Wolverine:Your going up and down like a freaking yo-yo here! Where'd you get this thing,anyway?
Gambit:Oh, this is my baby. I won her in a game. Jacks over fives.
Wolverine:Great.
(The arrive at the island)
Gambit:There it is. The island. Three Mile Island. Hiding in plain sight. No one's gonna snoop around a nuclear reactor. They think it's gonna turn them into freaks.
Wolverine:Like you?-X-Men Origins:Wolverine

Sabertooth:Nobody kills you but me.-X-Men Origins:Wolverine

Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one. It's fine to be proud of it. But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And PLEASE don't try to shove it down children's throats.Anonymous

Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.Anonymous

A woman must not depend on the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself.Susan B. Anthony

If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.Richard Bach

No man is sane who does no know how to be insane on proper occasions.Henry Ward Beecher

We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.Gavin De Becker

You can do very little with faith,but you can do nothing without it.Samuel Butler

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world—not even our troubles.Charles Chaplin.

Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.G.K. Chesterton

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Winston Churchill

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.Cyril Connolly

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.Joan Crawford

My prayer for women of the twenty-first century: harden your hearts and learn to kill.Andrea Dworkin

The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are: Hard work, Stick-to-itiveness, and Common sense.Thomas A. Edison

Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.James Anthony Froude

Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever.Gandhi

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.Josephine Hart

We can only learn so much and live.Thomas Harris

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.Theodore M. Hesburgh

Never explain--your friends do not need it and you enemies will not believe you anyway.Elbert Hubbard

All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up like a flying rat?The Joker

The healthy man does not torture others. Generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.Carl Jung

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.Helen Keller

The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.Helen Keller

If you live among wolves you have to act like a wolf.Nikita Khrushchev

You wanna know the secret of pain? If you just stop feeling it, you can start using it.Freddy Krueger

Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn.C.S. Lewis

We may sit in our library and yet be in all quarters of the earth.John Lubbock

The true man wants two things – danger and play. Therefore he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.Friedrich Nietzsche

The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.Friedrich Nietzsche

We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever. The goal is to create something that will.Chuck Palahniuk

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical.Blaise Pascal

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until she's in hot water.Eleanor Roosevelt

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want:and,after that enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.Logan Pearsall Smith

In all the darkest pages of the malign supernatural there is no more terrible tradition than that of the Vampire, a pariah even among demons.Montague Summers

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.Hunter S. Thompson

If you're normal, the crowd will accept you, but if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.Christopher Titus

Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence fear.Mark Twain

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.Mark Twain

I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.Mark Twain