Just created this to read and favorite things on here because I finally gave in and admitted that I'm a shameless nerd. I am very picky about what I read so if I favorite you, feel special. I can't stand badly-written ANYTHING, but I don't usually flame a story. If I review, it's because I found it good enough to be worth making the effort to click the button. I'm a grammar nazi and an intellectual snob and proud of it.

Turn-ons: Good concepts (unoriginal is not a heinous crime if it's well written; tropes are everywhere), humor, originality, decent lemons.
Turn offs: IKEA erotica, people who don't even try to spell, rabid yaoi/yuri haters, and people who say things like "This is my first fic plz be nice" and "Sucky summery [sic] but a great story!1!" Oh, also harem fics. I know that they're a popular genre, and some of them are even well-written, but it's unrealistic and often demeaning to the female characters involved (since usually it's one guy and a truckload of girls). Don't get me started.

I will beta for a good cause- if you need a proofreader and you're confident your story doesn't suck, please feel free to PM me and ask.

Um. Things about me that are important: I'm female, older than High School but younger than Senior Citizen, and a bitchy bisexual andro femme feminist. I'm also a witch, and any jokes about goat sacrifices or cauldrons will get your head ripped off, unless they're really good jokes.

My favored readin' fandoms are Naruto, Harry Potter, Buffy, Wizards of Waverly Place, and occasionally a few others.

I like caffeine, snark, and reading. I hate boredom, religious fanaticism, and wasps. People I like are allowed to call me Lio.

Quotes To Live By:

-"If violence doesn't solve your problems, you didn't use enough." -- 'Ask Me No Questions' by Nugar

- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. --Anonymous

Also, a VERY important note:

You know, if I were to post something on the tubes where millions of people could see it, and I wanted my work to be appreciated, I'D LEARN TO FUCKING SPELL!!!

You're dyslexic, in third grade, in prison, functionally illiterate, typing one-handed- I don't care. There is NO excuse not to review your work.
I've had to give up on several decent stories because the author couldn't take the effort to beta their own work or find someone else to do it. I've seen several other, not-so-decent stories that made me wish I could bar the author from coming near a keyboard again without remedial English classes.

As a lover of well-written stories, as well as an intellectual human being, I can tell you it gets really frustrating after awhile. If your grammar/spelling/syntax/whatever is so poor it jars a reader out of the story, that's something you need to fix- I'm assuming you want people to read and like your stories.

A lot of authors will react thusly: "ur jus jellus becuz u can't rite such a awesome story and my oc's not a mary sue so stop flamming ok?!1!!"
... Ahem. Or something similar. But I tend to try and be helpful and objective in my criticism. After all, if someone doesn't tell you what you're doing wrong, how will you know?