"I reject your reality and substitute my own!" - Adam Savage (Mythbusters)

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I support the petition for a Yaoi/Yuri filter!

While I can deal with Yuri if well written, Yaoi creeps me the fuck out and I'd like the option to block it and turn it off when I'm browsing through fics. If you also support such an option for whatever reason, please place it somewhere on your profile and e-mail the people who run this site until they implement it. We all know we want and need it.

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The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

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Story Ideas

Completed Stories

I Love You - Those words repeated themself in his mind since the battle with Nagato. And now he finally has an answer for her. So Naruto heads to the Hyuuga mansion to speak with the pale eyed heiress.

A NaruHina oneshot/lemon I wrote one day. This is my earliest writing and as such, don't expect it to be anywhere near as good as how I write now.

Current Stories

Tale of the Kurai Kitsune - He passed on his first attempt, gained a team that cared, a sensei that taught them, and then almost lost it all. Now being placed on a team once more, how will Konoha's Dark Fox handle a stuck up prick and useless fangirl?

My most popular story, this one goes off a simple question; what if Naruto graduated on his first attempt? Instead of failing three times and passing due to extra circumstances like canon, Naruto graduated on his very first attempt meaning he joined the genin from the class before Neji, Lee, and Tenten. However eventually tragedy strikes changing Naruto forever. The story picks up from canon with the graduation and Naruto getting his new teammates Sasuke and Sakura. Mostly follows canon from there with the Wave Arc and the Chunin Exams but then puts a major twist on the story following them.

Shinku Akuma no Iwa - Sarutobi knew Konoha would never treat Naruto right so he sent the newborn out of the village for his own safety. But an acident causes him to end up in Iwa's hands. Now being raised by their greatest enemy, how will the world handle the Crimson Devil of Iwa?

My second most popular story, this one asking the question; what if Naruto was raised by Iwa? There's also some aging to Deidara and Kurotsuchi as Naruto looks at them like an older brother and mother respectively. This is also my only story where the pairing is Naruto/OC so if you don't like that then don't read it. It's also a bit darker than my other stories as Naruto is very cruel and heartless to his enemies.

The Devil Shinobi - Jiraiya never said a training trip would include going to see the outside world. Or that it would include school. But it did and it does so Naruto finds himself at Kuoh Academy struggling to get by. But when a simple walk home becomes trying to save someone's life and dying in the process, things change. Especially when a red haired beauty revives him as her own Devil servant.

My first Naruto/Highschool DxD crossover, being an actual fusion of the Naruto and DxD worlds with the Elemental Nations being a continent hidden from the rest of the world. The story starts with Naruto at Kouh, dying when he tries to help save Issei from Raynare only to then wake up as Rias revived both of them. Unlike most stories I've seen in this section though, Naruto doesn't accept that he's a devil and doesn't want to serve Rias, causing lots of tension. The pairing is also different as it's not a harem story but instead just Naruto/Akeno.

Infinite Stars - After escaping the Jedi, Vestara is left planning her next move when she recieves a vision of a blond teen with whiskers on his cheeks. Tracking him down reveals a powerful maelstrom of Force power, and a darkness of depths and power unimaginable. Now a new Sith is rising in the galaxy, one with powers beyond the Force. The dark side is stronger than ever.

A Naruto/Star Wars crossover taking place after the Fate of the Jedi series of books. In this story Vestara Khai, a Sith girl from those books, heads to the Naruto world after getting a vision of Naruto as her apprentice and aims to make it a reality. Naruto is slowly turned to the Dark side and eventually joins her as they then head back into the galaxy to further the Sith cause. The pairing is set as Naruto/Vestara though it will have a slow build-up to it. Also while it opens with Naruto canon, once the story heads into space it will be entirely original.

A Vampire in Konoha - Rather than being sealed at Mahora, Nagi sealed the immortal vampire in Konoha. Now becoming friends with Kushina and Minato, Eva is made godmother to a young boy. But a scheming old man takes him away until a chance encounter when the boy is five. Eva must do her best to guide young Naruto through life. But it's not easy when he awakens a set of legendary eyes.

A Naruto/Negima crossover, with the Naruto world being a secret 'Third World' that the other two have only heard of in rumors. As said in the description, Nagi sealed Evangeline in Konoha instead of Mahora and then she befriends Minato and Kushina and is made godmother to their son. The story picks up from there first encounter when Naruto's five as she takes him in to raise him. The story will follow canon mainly until the Shippuden years when it breaks into original content. Also, this is my God!Naruto and Rinnegan!Naruto story as Naruto wakes the eyes when he's training under Eva and as such he's extremely strong. This story also has an evil!Sarutobi and evil!Kakashi with a good!Danzo. The pairing is Naruto/Evangeline only, with a rather slow build-up as well.

A Demigod's Tale - You know the old Greek stories about Gods and Heroes? Well Percy Jackson only knew a little before he was thrown headfirst into them when his best friend turns out to be a satyr and his mother is taken by the Minotaur of all things. Now at Camp Half-Blood, the safe home for Demigods, he has to try and deal with prophecy's and the like. But whose the strong blond with the whiskers?

A Naruto/Percy Jackson & the Olympians crossover with Naruto as the demigod son of Aphrodite. The story starts pretty Percy heavy but will then shift more to Naruto's perspective on things. Naruto will also be very strong for a son of Love. Other Naruto characters will make appearances as other demigods throughout the series. The pairing for this is also secret but I will admit its a single pairing and not Naruto/goddess.

Brothers Bael - Naruto is the younger twin brother to Sairaorg Bael. However unlike his brother he was born with the Power of Destruction, but refused to become the heir as he has no interest in leading the family. Instead, Naruto's aim is to be the number one at the Rating Games, to take the title of Emperor for himself! Supported by his brother and his best friend Rias, he'll change everything!

My newest story and second Naruto/Highschool DxD crossover. The first couple chapters will explain Naruto's childhood with Sairaorg before jumping into canon after the fight with Riser. Naruto will be a very strong fighter with the Power of Destruction enhancing his attacks while his Peerage will be a mix of Naruto and DxD characters. The pairing is Naruto/Two girls and both will be DxD girls as well.

Discontinued Stories

Sadly, I've lost my drive to write these stories so I've discontinued them. If you like them then PM me about adopting them to continue them yourself.

The Shinobi Trials - The Trials pit the districts against one another and force them to die for the entertainment of the Capital. However Naruto doesn't care about any of this when his name is called. All he wants is to get home to his familiy and girlfriend without losing himself to the violence and madness of the Trials.

The Hanyou and the Vampire - Kokoa wasn't the only new member to the Newspaper club, a blond freshman with whiskers on his cheeks joined as well. Now a part of a club that always gets into more than they bargained for, how will Naruto Namikaze handle life? Naruto will struggle through school all the same while trying to figure out his new feelings for a certain orange haired vampire.

Adopted by: Fulcano - The Hanyou and the Vampire (revised)

The Ashikabi of Konoha - On the way back to Konoha Naruto's life is flipped upside-down from a chance encounter with a rather well endowed girl. Now he's not just a jinchuriki or a shinobi but an Ashikabi being forced into the Sekirei Plan. With Akatsuki still on the loose and a promise to bring Sasuke home to fulfill, how will the blond handle his newest set of challenges in his life?

Adopted by: AnimeNerdYuki235 - Bonds Between Sekirei and Shinobi

Redemption - It was a mistake I made in a time of weakness that unleashed the cursed blade onto the world. Now chaos reigns and the Nations are struggling to survive the Nightmare I let loose. But I won't give in and I won't give up. It was my fault everything happened. And that's why... that's why I'll take up the burden to set the world right. Soul Edge and Kurama must be stopped.

Radioactive - Inspired by the Imagine Dragons song. 'Waking up to ash and dust' Naruto finds himself in a world after the apocalypse. Lost with no idea what happened or where to go when almost everything he ever knew or loved is gone or changed, the blond jinchuriki will show all the survivors that all you really need to survive is your guts and the will to never give in.

Future Stories

These are ideas I've had that I hope to one day get to after fleshing them out more and completing some of my current ideas. PM me with your opinions on them if you like them and want more info on the plans for them.

Lost Memories - Waking up with no memories other than his name, Naruto just wants to know who he really is. Traveling around Kalos with his Pokemon at his side, the blond helps where he can as an aid to Professor Sycamore. Now though the Prof. has asked him to travel with a new trainer and newcomer to the region entirely. So Naruto puts his own journey on hold to guide a new girl through Kalos.

A Pokemon XY/Naruto crossover. The story would follow mainly the games with a few twists and turns of my own design with Naruto traveling with Serena. His team is mainly decided as well as a very basic plot that I just need to flesh out more before its ready. The pairing would be with either Serena or Korrina.

Help from Onee-chan - Minato and Kushina never hid their marriage and had a daughter before Naruto. But then the tragedy of October Tenth struck and the new jinchuriki is left with only his older sister for family. Growing up when everyone knows your parents and your status is hard but thankfully Naruto knows who to turn to for help. Big expectations are nothing for the next Hokage!

A pure Naruto story. In this everyone knows Minato and Kushina married and Naruto's jinchuriki status so very few hate him for the biju he carries. The story would loosely follow canon after the Chunin Exam arc, where it goes in a more original direction. Naruto's pairing is still undecided but his OC sister would be paired with Itachi.

Your Reality is my Dream - They caught up with Sasuke after his fight with Itachi but a rogue mind jutsu from a missing nin hits all the teens involved throwing them into comas. When they wake up they find a strange parallel dream world with alternate selves battling one another. But when one finds a way to use those dreams to their advantage, its up to Naruto discover the secrets behind it and save them all.

A pure Naruto story with elements of Black Rock Shooter. Pretty much as the description says, after finding Sasuke they'd be attacked and suddenly wake up with dreams of strange alternates of them fighting each other. The story would be entirely original as it would follow the group trying to figure out what the dream world is as well as dealing with its real world consequences as they happen. Pairings are doubtful and it wouldn't follow canon at all.

Heroes Aren't Chosen - Root is hunting down chakra users as criminals; join them or face judgement. But Naruto never had to deal with that thankfully. Separated from his parents at a young age and raised by a kind family, his whole world is thrown upside-down after helping one girl get away from the government agents. Now caught in the underground war, he'll have to come to terms with himself to survive.

A pure Naruto story inspired by the inFamous series, it would be a modern day AU with cars and the like. In here chakra is a power only born to some while everyone else is normal. The government formed Root as a task-force of chakra users to deal with other chakra users, a fight-fire-with-fire plan. After getting caught up in the resistance against them by accident, he'd learn about his origins and be forced to decide his future because now Root knows who he is, and they won't rest until he's joined or jailed. Pairings are undecided as of right now but I'll pick one by the time I get to this, I'm mostly focusing on developing a plot right now.

The Power of a Mask - Naruto never wanted to be a Visored but spying on a meeting and then being sent out to help forced the decision on him, just like the rest of them. Now though Urahara tells them he's accidentally made another one and they need to help him before he loses control. So now Naruto is playing the recruiter to their band of misfits. "Damn it, why'd I have to do this? This uniform sucks!"

A Naruto/Bleach crossover with Naruto as one of the Visoreds. In this story Naruto became a Shinigami after death and rose to Vice-Captain before the disaster with Aizen that caused them to become the Hollow hybrids. Now after the Rescue Rukia arc he's being sent to get Ichigo to join them so that they can teach him about his inner Hollow. The story would follow mostly canon and Naruto's full skill-set is entirely decided as well. He'd likely be paired with Lisa but I'm exploring other options as I plan out the plot.

The Fourth Dark Lord - Akasha, Tohou Fuhai, and Mikogami are known as the Dark Lords, every Yokai knows that. But what if there was another? Kept hidden from the world after defeating Alucard and only waking up now from outside stimulus by chance, this blond and whiskered man wakes up from his coma to find everything changed. "Uh, Miko? What's with the priest get-up? And why do they call you Headmaster?"

A Naruto/Rosario Vampire crossover. This one has Naruto as an amazingly powerful Yokai that fell into a coma after defeating Alucard with the others but then is woken up accidentally by being near Moka when she unleashes her Inner self. It would start near the end of part one but then go into original territory after that ends. I have very little planned for this actually beyond a bare minimum plot.

Slashing Phantom - Holy Sword. Duel Blade. These are just two of the ten available Unique Skills in Sword Art Online. But what are the other eight? This is the story of one of those eight, a player that jumped into SAO that first day with no regrets and until the day it ended he still never had one. Sword Art Online became his life, and that life was more real to him than reality.

A pure Sword Art Online story that would follow my own OC. The OC would occasionally come across Kirito and Asuna but would mostly stick to his own original tale along with meeting up with the side characters like Sillica and Lizbeth. His sword skill would also be my own idea with its own ups and downs. And finally his pairing is still up in the air, as is if the story would go beyond SAO and into the others or not.