I'm gonna try to Update My Fic's at least once a year

AO3: http:///users/LittleOne94

'Collecting A Family' is now on AO3

this link is distressing, but it tells a story that needs to be heard.

http:///index.php?topic=29045.0

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.

-Edmund Burke

Age: Old enough to know better, young enough not to care

Place of Dwelling: The Land Down Under

Pairs I Like

Kyo Kara Maoh:

Yuri/Any-Boy except Wolfram

Harry Potter

Harry/Any-Magical-Boy except Draco

Naruto:

Naruto/Any-Boy except Choji

don't click this link...

HOMOPHOBIA IS STUPID!!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl kicked out of her home, because I confided in my mother I'm a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets, because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself weeks before graduating high school.
It was just too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us because she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not even allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to trach gym until somebody told me only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't always have to deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to the fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson".

THAT'S JUST MESSED UP!

IF YOU BELIEVE HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG...REPOST THIS

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

Cinderella walked on broken glass.
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass.
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast.
Jasmine married a common thief.
Ariel walked on land for love and life.
Snow White barely escaped a knife.
It was all about blood, sweat and tears,
Because love means facing your biggest fears.

Stupid Shiny Volvo owner- Bella Swan

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

"If at first you don't succeed, get someone else to do it."

-A wise old owl lived in an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; the less he spoke the more he heard: Why can't we all be like that bird?

which is better to be a happy idiot, or a miserable genius?

"I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away." - Xander (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

95% of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Put this in your sig if you are part of the 5% that would sit here with popcorn & a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!!!"

I'm not Stalking you, I'm doing Research.

My cold heart is a place where , true love , cannot bloom.

"This is a dumb world. In my world, there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies." - Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE DOG, SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE FIRE HYDRANT!

If the ocean was fruit juice and i was a duck
I'd sink to the bottom and drink my way up
But the ocean's not fruit juice and i'm not a duck
So give me some yaoi and shut the f*k up!

"The past is history, the future is mystery, this moment is a gift...that's why it's called present so enjoy it while you can."

"Today is the Tomorrow you worried about Yesterday"

Work like you don't need the money.
(or though my sis says that if you don't need money then you don't work at all...good point)
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no-one's watching.
Sing like no-one's listening.
Live like it's heaven on earth.

Quote to Live by: "I have seen the eternal footman hold my coat, and snicker." TS Eliot.

no one knows how sad I really am...

no one knows how lonely I am...

not many have seen me cry...

not many have seen my heart smile..

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Colombian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in you're heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2) ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart ass you are.
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

This is about abortion...It gets pretty sad. :(

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but i will have a lot of it
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." Robin Tyler

Listen to him sing !!!
*gasping for air, simply breath taking*

Any man's Death diminishes me, for I'm involved in mankind.

Therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls,

It tolls for thee.

What 2 DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED!!

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Fill water ballons up with jello & throw them at high school kids

18. Spit off a bridge over passing traffic

19. When someone taps you on the shoulder, sway and fall over, dead

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't re-post it?

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

When Jacob realises he imprinted on Renesmee

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me in that second - snip snip snip - and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.
Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing - to the very center of the universe.
It was the baby girl in the blond vampire's arms that held me here now.
Renesmee.

My favourite quotes from the Vampire Academy series:

VAMPIRE ACADEMY

Ralf- "So admit it, you killed the fox. You're trying to convince Kirova you're crazy so you can get out of here again."
Rose- "Screw you."
Ralf- "Are you offering?"
Rose- "From what I've heard, there isn't much to screw."
Ralf- "Wow, you have changed. Last I remebered you weren't too picky about who you got naked with."
Rose- "And the last I remember, the only people you ever saw naked were on the internet."

Christian- "We all have to do things we don't like. That's life."
Rose- "What are you? An after school special?"
Christian- "If you weren't so sphycotic, you'd be fun to hang around."
Rose- "Funny, i feel that way about you too."

Rose- "Does my house arrest mean i can't go to church?"
Ms. Kirova- "I beg your pardon?"
Rose- "You said that whenever I'm not in class or practice, I have to stay in the dorm. But what about church on Sundays? I don't think it's
really fair to keep me away from my religious...um, needs."
Ms. Kirova- "I wasn't aware you had any religious needs."
Rose- "I found Jesus while I was gone."
Ms. Kirova- "Isn't your mother an aheist?"
Rose- "And my dad's probably Muslim. But I've moved on to my own path. You shouldn't keep me from it."

FROSTBITE

Mason- "Oh, man. Who pissed you off?"

Christian- "You never looked so good Rose."

Rose- "I feel that way when I talk to you."
Adrian- "But you don't hate me. Not Really."
Rose- "I don't like you either."
Adrian- "So you keep saying. But I can live with that."

Rose- "I need to get off the resort's property. They got Mia to use compulsion on the guards. I need you to do the same thing. I know you've
practised it."
Christian- "I have. But...well...I'm not very good at it. And doing it on dhampirs is nearly impossible. Liss is a hundred times better than me. Or
probably any Moroi."
Rose- "I know. But I don't want her to get in trouble."
Christian- "But you don't mind if I do?"
Rose- "Not really."
Christian- "You're a piece of work, you know that?"
Rose- "Yeah. I do, actually."

SHADOW KISS

Dimitri- "We Can't..."
Rose- "I know."

Adrian- "What do you think, little dhampir? I was pretty badass with that plant wasn't I? Of course, it would have been more badass if I'f, I
dunno, helped an amputee grow a limb back or something. Or maybe separated Siamese twins. But that'll come with more practise."
Rose- "If you want some advice - which I'm sure you don't - you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks your moving in on Lissa."
Adrian- "What? Doesn't he know my heart belongs to you?"
Rose- "It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him."
Adrian- "You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better."
Rose- "If you touch me, I'll provide you with an opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are."

BLOOD PROMISE

Lissa- "Your face is kind of scaring me. What are you thinking?"

Rose- "I'll always love you."
Dimitri- "That's what I was supposed to say..."

Girls

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't quite as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say "I love you."

When I saw you I was afraid to meet you.
When I met you I was afraid to kiss you.
When I kissed you I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you...

I'm loud, no mute button on this chicka but I'm not obnoxious

I'm reserved but I'm not stuck-up

I'm a straight-in-your-face-kind-of-girl but I'll respect your privacy and personal bubble (Mostly)

I'm shy but only because I like good first impressions

I'm a lover but I'm careful with my heart

I'm sweet but not if you mess with my family or friends

I'm sadistic but not if your sweet to me.

I'm a gypsy but I'm not psycho

I love music but well there is no but in that situation

I'm smart but I'm not a nerd

I'm pretty but I only say that so I'll stop getting slapped by my friends

I love hugs but only if your not creepy (or smell)

I hate ciggarettes.

I adore animals but I'm not the crazy cat lady.

ThInGs To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?(Chunky Dunk)
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Quotes l like:

-" The day we lose our need for dreams is the day the human race forfeits its soul." -John Chiam

-"Tired of these endless games, Time to end the darkened day To raise the sword To kill the light Because there is no reason left to fight..." -Night Oasis

-"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what.

-"Everything you do will come back upon you. 3-fold for the normal shit, 10-fold for the freaky shit." -Lycorne

-"I think crime pays. The hours are good, you get to travel a lot." -Woody Allen

-"There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle." -Robery Alden

-"Those who fear the darkness have no idea what the light can do" -Katasai_Rakshasa

-"Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles." -Arabian Proverb

-"You're welcome to believe that the world is a nice, logical, rational, safe place... You'll be wrong, but that hasn't stopped anyone else who thinks the same way." -Dierdre, Otherworld by Mercades Lackey and Holly Lisle

-"Cats are known to see within the dark. Yet, if you had sight like a cat, even for one day, would you really want to see what's in the dark?"

-"The cat has always been associated with the Moon. For like the moon, it comes to life at night, escaping from humanity and wandering over housetops with its eyes beaming out through the darkness."

-On a tombstone: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went.

-"It's funny how a person can break your heart, and you can still love them with all the little pieces"

-"A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried"

-My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it is in pieces because of you.

-If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart; you can take it; just don't break it or my world will fall apart.

-Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.

-"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else"

-"If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go"

-"I hate this feeling, it's one I know all to well, it's a thing called heartbreak and it hurts like hell"

-"My heart bleeds no more since turning to stone"

-"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it"

-"When I see you smile and know that its not for me, that's when I miss you the most"

-"Take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space. And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face." - Phil Collins

-"This is a song for the lonely, can you hear me tonight? For the broken hearted, battle scarred I'll be by your side. - Cher More

-I see him but he sees past me. I look in his eyes but he looks around me. Does he know what I see when he stares through me? I see him and I can't help watching him not watching me.

-It is quite gratifying to feel guilty if you haven't done anything wrong: how noble! Whereas it is rather hard and certainly depressing to admit guilt and to repent. Hannah Arendt

-You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true. Sidney Madwed

-We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever ask Him to forgive us for our sadness.? R. W. Dale

-We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.? David Weatherford

-" For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.' " John Greenleaf Whittier

-Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. - Eleanor Roosevelt

-Though I know he loves me, tonight my heart is sad; his kiss was not so wonderful as all the dreams I had. Sara Teasdale

-Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but its the middle that counts the most.

-Friendship is the marriage of the soul. - Voltaire

-"When I am dead, I will not hurt anymore, will it Mama?...When I am dead, build me a little monument of stones in the woods." Alexei Romanov

-Life is a perpetual drunkenness; the pleasure passes, but the headache remains.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley." - Joel Rosenberg

-"A coward dies a hundred deaths, a brave man only once... But then, once is enough, isn't it?" -Judge Harry T.Stone

-"There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network." -Guy Almes

-"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." -Dave Barry

-The gods conceal from men the happiness of death, that they may endure life. -Lucan

-Ah! what a sign it is of evil life, when death's approach is seen so terrible! -Shakespeare

-For those of you who think we are descendents from those cavemen who stood and fought with dinosaurs, you must be nuts, we are descendents from the ones who ran like hell to live."

-Tears are sometimes an inapproriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile." -Julie Burchill

-I dislike death, but there are things I dislike more than death, therefore, there are occasions when I will not avoid danger. -Mo Dzu

-You can lose a man like that by your own death, but not by his. -George Bernard Shaw

-"Rather, she [ Death ] simply is the Ultimate Hostess who tells you when your table's ready. It's up to other powers what section you're seated in (smoking or non-smoking)." - John C. Straffin

-We sometimes congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream; it may be so the moment after death." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

-After your death you will be what you were before your birth." Arthur Schopenhauer

-"The charnel ground is that great graveyard in which the complexities of samsara and nirvana lie buried."

-Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor. Joseph Addison

-Death is not the greatest loss in life. -Norman Cousins

-A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

-Obstacles are a natural part of life, just as boulders are a natural part of the course of the river. The river does not complain or get depressed because there are boulders in its path.

How I am blonde. Got this from someone's profile and tried it.

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking

5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself

8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love position
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk

30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it.
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a 'beware of dog' sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

X You love hoodies.
X You love jeans.
X Cats are better than dogs.
X It's hilarious when people get hurt.
X You've played with/against boys on a team.
XShopping is torture.
XSad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
XYou own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
XYou watch sports on TV.
X Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
X You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
XSports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
X sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.(riiiiggghhhtt...)
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (that explains why i'm considered crazy.)

Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Don't knock on Hades' door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. (most people say "death's door" i say "Hades' door")

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did it!

When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!!

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If you think Hades is cool, copy and past this to your profile

If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" things, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile. (i saw the sign AFTER i tripped, i swear!)

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

f you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

f several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you laugh when you hurt yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

If you lack common sense, copy and paste this onto you're profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you are a loner/goth/emo/freak/punk/weird person, then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled out a random food item during class or just randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., WiseOne27,LoveTheSun, animaluver101, The Dawn Is Breaking, Hersheybar66, Dolphingirl32173

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

He's Cute!!

I am a writer, not your grammer teacher.

If you do not like me say it to my face, not behind my back, so when I kick you I have a good shot.

The fact that you think I'm listening to you just shows me how stupid you really are

When life gives you lemons squirt the juice in your enemies eyes

Break my Heart I break your neck

Flying is easy just throw yourself at the floor and miss (Not responsible for any injuries sustained from throwing self at floor)

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor

Sometimes violence is the only way to get what you want

Life isn't passing me by it's trying to run me over

I know I seem mean but it's because I don't like you

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? Hold my purse.'

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it

There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, it's when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up

My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Love comes in many colors

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Dying is a very dull, and dreary affair, my suggestion to you is to have nothing to do with it.

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

Love your enemies! It really pissess them off!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!

I'm not insensitive I just don't care

The voices in my head don't like you

Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

You can't make somebody love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope for the best!

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left

Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is Optional

Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.

"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."

-I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous

-Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

- I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. (Besides, what's the fun in that?)

- No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me

-Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

-When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?

-When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

-When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

- I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out

-I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! But not my brain; I need that.

-Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to

- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide

- Excuse me have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it

-I live in my own little world. But it's ok, they know me there

-The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide

-Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend

-Tell the truth and run, fast

-If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something

-Education is important. School however, is another matter.

-I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...I wonder...

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Unfortunately, you can't die of a broken heart.

Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over

If you know me, chances are you hate me.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away…

Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

He gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I will love you until the last rose dies."

Sometimes people run away just to see if anyone cares enough to follow.

Sometimes you make me so mad I want to throw you in the middle of ongoing traffic, but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.

"I love you" is eight letters. So is "bull crap."

People say love is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?

You call me crazy, I've been called worse by the voices in my head.

You call me crazy like it's the ultimate insult but I just stare at you blankly and say "So"

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option.

If you live to be 100, I want to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

When you said you hated me I felt all fuzzy inside. I wonder why.

If he's dumb enough to walk away, then be smart enough to let him go.

Keep on talking maybe one day you'll say something intelligent

When I said "I wish you a life time of happiness" after you screwed me over I meant I was going to kill you

It's a funny thing when everyone at the local asylum knows your name

I once believed I could fly. The broken neck proved that theory wrong and it wasn't even my neck

"Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoes. Can't stand me? Sit your ass down. Can't face me? Then turn the fuck around!"

Sarcastic! Me? Never!

If talking to your self is the first sign of insanity, what's sign two?

If you don't like me there is nothing I can do. Newsflash bitch, I don't live to please you

REMEMBER WHEN ..

getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

Random quotes I love:

I want to be known as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken. And the one who could always brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own.

Let's play Truth or Dare...or just Dare because nobody tells the Truth anymore...

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday!

Yea, I'm a loser...but I'm the coolest loser you'll EVER meet.

Sometimes when I say 'oh, I'm fine' I want someone to look me in the eyes and say 'tell the truth'

You asked what was wrong and I said NOTHING but then I turned around and whispered EVERYTHING

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learing to dance in the rain

Teddy bears don't hug back but sometimes they are all you got

True friends are hard to find, Harder to leave, and Impossible to forget

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's harder to give up, especially if it's all you ever wanted

I don't miss you, I miss the person I thought you were

Best Friends are about killing each other over a bag of chips, and then when it's all over not saying sorry but saying "Ha Ha loser.

22=6, I rock at math

Im going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me

Anyone can make you smile, Many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes.

It hurts so much to love you the way I do, and then look at you and see how much you don't care...

I only use my computer on days that end in "Y"

Hug a Tree. They have less issues than people.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Just for once...I want someone to be afraid of losing me

Best friends. Were the ones who Practically live at eachother's houses, Stay up all night talking about absolutly nothing, Dance until were out of breath, Laugh at the stupidest things, and still find a reason to love each other, even though were complete idiots

Be a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios

I agree with the Dictionary:

Girls before Guys

Partying before Studying

Friends before Love

I don't Run away from you...I walk away slowly and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.

They are laughing at us because were Idiots...were laughing at them because they Just figured that out

True love is when you shed tears and still want him, It's when he ignores you and you still love him, It's when he loves another girl and you say your happy for them, even though you just cry...and cry

I'm 99 sure he doesn't like me... it's the 1 that keeps me hanging on

This one's for the girls. Who have ever had a broken heart. Who have wished opon a shooting star. Your beautiful the way you are. This one's for the girls.

Isn't it funny how a girl's profile is all about that one guy and he never know's every word is about him

I'm the type of girl who can watch abunch of horror movies and not get scared...

then scream at the top of my lungs when the waffle pops out of toaster

Do you know how hard it is to say: oh no, were just friends, when all you want to do is scream: I LOVE YOU

I'm the type of girl who tries not to like you, and ends up just falling harder

A True Boyfriend =

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or TV show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your pro.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile!

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

EVER WONDER:

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see Normal people! QUICK!! take a picture!!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

I'm the kinda girl who would...:

I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.

I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the W's.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

My Gay-dar is pointing at you madly, in your tight jeans and man make-up... I think there's something wrong with it...

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and your grandparents, Grandpa and grandma.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandparents, GRAMPS! and Gramz!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read&ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CAUSE I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THEM

Hush Little Sister

Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He hurt me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You wanna know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's angry tonight
Run while you can
It'll be alright

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (that explains why i'm considered crazy.)

Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Don't knock on Hades' door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. (most people say "death's door" i say "Hades' door")

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did it!

When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!!

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

If you run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it copy and paste this in your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile.

If you think Hades is cool, copy and past this to your profile

If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" things, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile. (i saw the sign AFTER i tripped, i swear!)

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if its true.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

f you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

f several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you laugh when you hurt yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

If you lack common sense, copy and paste this onto you're profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now what SmartAss came up with that? If you think that is really funny, but can't pronounce it, copy and paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you are a loner/goth/emo/freak/punk/weird person, then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled out a random food item during class or just randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., WiseOne27,LoveTheSun, animaluver101, The Dawn Is Breaking, Hersheybar66, Dolphingirl32173

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

We now have the technology to copy human skin cells to test on for all cosmetics and beauty supplies. If you are against any type of animal testing, post this on your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push copy this into your profile

If you have done BOTH of the above copy this into your profile

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you believe teenagers are steryotyped, put this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If You Embrace The Weirdness, Copy And Paste This On To Your Profile And Add Your Name To The List.

You know if you live in 2008 when

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a
screenname or my space

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing
the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You zone out even with other people.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You're profile is REALLY long.

Your computer runs out of memory.

You can't stop writing!

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

I guess I'm an author. . .

Favourite sayings of all time!!
Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
Boys are like lava lamps, pretty to look at, but not very bright.
Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate.
Don't worry Pluto, I'm not a planet either.
God created boys before girls, because you make to rough draft before you create a masterpiece!
NO ENTRY! Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will march up to him and say "It's because your gay, isn't it?"
you can trust someone with everything you have, but will they trust you wtih anything?
If u run away from everything u will eventually run out of things to run from
A friend would come bail you out of jail withoutany questions, a good friend would already know what you did but would bail you out anyway, a best friend would not come bail you out of jail, they would be sitting right next to you saying, "boy we screwed up."
maybe animals do talk, we just never listen
Boys always break girls hearts, Girls just break there faces. Hearts are easier to put back together.
learn from yesterday live for today and hope for tomorrow
hes not the kind of man i need, hes not the kind of man i want, hes not the kind of boy my friends approve of, but thats excattly the kind of man i need.
if the world ended today then no one would care because no one would be left
you may of broken my heart but you can never break me
he broke my heart and you put it back together
you better hit me while im down bc thats the only chance youll get

I have finally found out why i am crazy! I am a perfectionist, but i am no where near perfect. You can see why this creates so many problems. :)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you go around to random people saying 'fish can't act' because your friend owns a fish named hoover, who you swear is a vampire because he tries to make it look like he's breathing, really badly. Stand up in the middle of History and proclaim 'O, how fertile the young mind is' to the utter amusement of your teacher and bewilderment of your peers who don't know what fertile means. Crazy is when someone asks you a question about a Tortall character and you describe them and their lives in great detail, including their entire wardrobe and diet. Crazy is when you wait till it starts raining to go to the pool and water park. Crazy is when you hide under a blanket because its to hot. Crazy is when you read a push sign then continue to look for the handle to pull for ten minutes. Crazy is when you read the pull sign again and again while trying to push the door open just to back up and run into the door as hard as you can. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

11 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7 . When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here?
10 When you have food all over your mouth and someone asks you ' Have you eaten?' well why is there egg on my cheek! loser.
11 When people yell at you constanly for doing one thing then go and do that same thing over and over! Hypocrites!
12 People who yell at me cause i can't spell. If I could spell why wouldnt I? If you want me to fix at least tell me how to spell it!

American Soldier's Wife

By Tonya Shore
Do you know what it is like to live the life,
Of an American Soldier's Wife?
Always having to stand strong,
Forever pretending nothing's wrong.
All the tears we shed at night,
Cause our love ain't there to hold us tight.
All the time's we sit in silence and pray,
That God will bring him home safely to stay.
Or when our hearts feel as heavy as stone's,
Cause we are apart and all alone.
And out of all the things in this world we miss,
The thing we miss most is his kiss.
We think of him with every breath,
We know without him, our life is death.
Or when he misses seeing the birth of his son or daughter,
Knowing his sorrow, you hold on to them a little tighter.
Watching your children grow and looking them in the eye,
Telling them daddy's going to be all right and hoping it's not a lie.
All the special events and holiday's he'll miss,
All the missed hugs and kisses from the kids.
All the tears you cry into his pillow,
Dreading another missed tomorrow.
And hearing everyone call him a Hero, your heart swells with pride,
You say, Thank You, and smile to hide the void you feel inside.
He doesn't choose to be away from his family and friends,
But, without our Soldiers this war would never end.
So, do you believe you could live the life,
Of an American Soldier's Wife?
Knowing these are only a few of the thing's we go through,
Really though... do you think we have it better than you?

On WINGS OF KNOWLEDGE There you are in your cap and tassel Ready to make the world your castle. It seems just yesterday you were a kid, Watching everything we did. Now we're watching you graduate- The grown young man/woman we helped create! On wings of knowledge you will fly; Following your vision and rising high. We couldn't be prouder, of you; We wish you success in all you do. Remember one thing we want you to know: Our love is with you wherever you go.

We can't form our children on our own concepts; we must take them and love them as God gives them to us.

Actually, he was glaring at something. It was called life. Seriously, (insert name here) had already considered life a bitch.
And then the damn bitch just had to go and have puppies.
Because that's just what bitches do, they have more bitches. Bigger bitches. Until it's a never ending bitch chain.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

"The more you piss me off, the longer I'll keep you alive."

"If you needed help in killing yourself, you could have asked. I'd be happy to oblige."

Heh. I'm looking forward to regretting this.

Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone

You're thinking in Japanese! If you must think, do it in German!

So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?

If you die, I'll kill you!

My name is Vash the stampede!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!!

Don't talk, it makes you sound stupid.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Forget cookies, the dark side has YAOI!

YAOI: I rape because i care.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn't for you

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Everyone has a wild side- me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children, is called cannibalism, and that is some crazy shit.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away…and you’ll have their shoes!

“Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.”

“If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing.”

“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”

I only smile because you’ve finally drove me insane.

“I don’t believe in racism in any way, shape, or form. I think there are idiots in every color, race and religion.”

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

I’m not scared…but my inner child has run away in terror and is threatening to jump off of the coffee maker…funny thing is, we don’t have a coffee maker.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

How You Know You’re Addicted to Yaoi/Slash

1. You start mentally pairing up random guys on the street.

2. You wish you had gay friends just so you could perve on them kissing their boyfriends.

3. You don’t remember the last time you read a heterosexual fanfiction.

4. You have developed a sexual fetish for handcuffs, leather and BDSM.

5. If you are a heterosexual girl, you keep trying to seme your boyfriend, despite the fact that you don’t have the necessary parts.

6. You suddenly become interested in gay rights, thinking this will increase your opportunities for voyeristic activities.

7. You try to get your friends into it, simply so you can talk to them about it without them getting that bored look on their face.

8. You keep lying about the number of hours you spend each day on the computer reading slash fanfiction, watching yaoi anime etc.

9. The most exiting moment of your life so far was when you discovered hentai manga.

10. You celebrate turning 18 not because you can watch R movies, but because you’re old enough to watch movies with explicit gay sex scenes.

11. It’s the only aphrodesiac you need.

12. When your boyfriend tells you he’s gay and has been dating another man, you immediately ask if you can join in.

13. Your gay son wishes he had a normal, homophobic mother who didn’t ask him questions about his latest sexual exploits.

If you’re reading this and nodding to yourself, post it on your profile page.

I love it when someone insults me. That means i don't have to be nice anymore.

Fiction is the only way to distress or let disappear someone you really hate, legally.--So what was your name?

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Okay, so... there's this thing called retard-ness and me and my girls, well...we've gone pro.

When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "you had to be there" thing but more as a "you have to be mentally retarded like us" thing.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Trying is the first step toward failure

if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. 'What should Tai say if he woke up and saw he was in Sora's body...?')

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

You laugh at me because I’m different, but I laugh because all of you shitheads are the same.

This...was so many levels past 'not good' there wasn't a word for it yet.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain

Mind like parachute - only function when open

I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity – Edgar Allen Poe.

Heaven won’t let me in and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Our destinies are not carved in stone. And even so, stones can be shattered…

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!".

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

When life gives you lemons, you make beef stew... or the more sensible thing to do would be squeeze them into people’s eyes...

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."

When I say: IMMEDIATELY, it means drop everything and stop for nothing...

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

"Sorry I'll try not to trust you next time!"

"We all go a little mad sometimes"

there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

An Elegant Suicide Is The Ultimate Work Of Art.

"Until I get some sugar in my system this IS my happy face"

"i am implementing the 'screw you' plan"
"what would that be..exactly?"
"exactly what it means. i say screw you, and you leave...so go on...shoo"

I'm not evil I'm...no wait, I AM evil...

Free insults, come get yours.

"When the world turns it's back on you, steel it's wallet!"

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect - in terror.

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.

Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence.

Stupidity is a talent for misconception.

The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.

Sleep, those little slices of death; Oh how I loathe them.

To be thoroughly conversant with a man's heart, is to take our final lesson in the iron-clasped volume of despair.

Scorching my seared heart with a pain, not hell shall make me fear again.

When The Sun Goes Down...
The moon goes up...
Whsn All sounds die!...
The time slows down...
"Fear" Grows Bigger n' The "game" begins...
Of U being Played By "Me" At Night...
This Is When U "scream" Out Loud!..
N' That is When I say... "GAME OVER!"...

They say it's my addiction but, they don't know it's my escape from my painful reality

If you want breakfast in bed...SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN!!!

EVER WONDER:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

My favorite bear of all time is a philosopher! Listen to some of Winnie the Pooh's wise words (I love his quotes):

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever”

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

- "Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!" Troy McClure

- "I have loved to the point of madness, that which is called madness,
that which to me is the only sensible way to love." - Francoise Sagan

- "She tells me that she wants to be a raindrop. She doesn't mind falling, as long as she's not alone. And raindrops, are never alone."

Reach for the Stars and you might get the Moon

Reach for the Manga and you might get the bishie inside

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I wear BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I’m CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I don’t CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be WHITE.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I’m RUSSIAN, so I MUST love Vodka and Caviar.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should stop judging others, post this on your profile!

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Harry Potter

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts.
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"
15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
20) I will ont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various
directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom
25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.
26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoyin a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously
35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell.
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".

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