Personal Information.

My name is Personal plus i like WerdMe :)

I'm a guy... really there are only 2 options

I live in canada. My time zone is EDT until November 4th then it's EST again.

My Intrests are Reading, Playing video games and playing soccer (football). I enjoy learning about other places and new things and really like hot tea[OMG the best tea i have ever had was Vannila Chi Tea!! At a resturant called the symposium! When i try to make it my self it never compares! :( ] I also like pop and fruit juice as casual drinks for reading or gaming! I like to hang out with my friends and have arguments over really stupid things like the distintion between magma and lava! :)

Goal's I havn't really thought about what i'm going to do but I would really like to Learn Every language! Have lots of fun! Maybe write a book or Read every Good book in existance! (I like the Impossible!) And maybe do something interesting in science!

Some of my Favoirite quotes!

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. -Robert Frost

God cannot alter the past, though historians can. -Samuel Butler

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. -W. Somerset Maugham

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." -Bill Maher

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. -Alan Perlis

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. -Albert Einstein

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?" -Annie Dillard

If it's natural to kill, how come men have to go into training to learn how? -Joan Baez

I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it. -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. -John F. Kennedy

I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it... I just 'DO' things. -Joker

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. -Tyler Durden

"Ahhh it's the flying Dutch man" yelled Mr Krabs. "Ahhh it's some guy i've never met before" yelled the flying dutch man. spongebob square pants.

Hayate was suffering from stripped gears, the mental equivalent of throwing an engine from fourth gear into reverse, then back into third again, while gunning the engine and somehow, miraculously, not stalling it or throwing a rod. It took him a moment to get back to where he was supposed to be, and in an uncertain voice he said, "Begin!" from another fanfiction i really liked the disciption.

Must be a quality of water, Gaara thought to himself, shifting uncomfortably as he retrieved sand from inside his own clothes. Sand gets in the damnedest places. from another fanfiction i really liked the disciption.(same as above)

"Go!", he told them, "Go out, find an academy scroll you haven't read, read it, and die for the sake of pocky!" Naruto, Power of the Pocky Chapter Five By Sliced2

"Personally if I was some deranged psychopath who slaughtered his family but decided to spare his little brother, then I would probably try to keep him weak so I could get the satisfaction of being able to beat him down and keep calling him weak while he desperately struggles to catch up with me," Naruto said drawing a blank stare from the boy next to him. fenris187

After all, who needed to waste time getting a cat scan when there was someone that almost sort of knew what she was doing?

What i'm doing.

I'm curently helping M-H199630 Edit her story! :) It's about naruto traveling back in time but she has some really unique story ideas so its really worth a read! :D

Here's everything else
(if there are duplicates its cause i like it... ya its cause i like it not because i completely forgot what i have on my profile!)

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (ie 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (ie 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Big Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of these descriptions)

pregnancy test...came out positve

TRY NOT TO LAUGH ( i didnt believe it, but it works!)

start thinking something you really really want

You have just been visited by SERAH I will grant you one wish. Make your wish when the count down is over.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

MAKE A WISH

repost this with the title "pregnancy test...came out positve" to throw people off and your wish will come true.

If you don't, it will become the opposite

Post this in the next 200 seconds and you
WILL have
THE best day of your life THIS FRIDAY

If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you tnihk tihs is aswemoe cpoy and psate in yuor porlife.

If you think America screwed up the Naruto anime, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile and add your name to the list. itachilover7 (it was only when school let out...i woke the next day with a sore throat), Kuro Uchiha (...same as itachilover7) Ayumi Elric (not me, I'm just crazy that way)

Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, then copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01,naru-chan13, Kuro Uchiha, Ayumi Elric,NeoCopyman,werd me

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you always say 'uhhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who the HELL came up with the idea of bending in front of a cow and squeezing the flappy pink things under it to see if something comes out and DRINKING whatever crap comes out, copy and paste this to your profile!

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just to help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy/paste this into your profile. -Kudos to TrueThinker-

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

A friend trys to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'

If you think Barney is a overgrown, gay, purple, extinct, baby singer, dinosaur and a crack addiect. Copy and past this on your profile

SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile.

IF YOU LOVE CAPS LOCK, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you think Kidzbop sucks, copy this and paste it in your profile

If lemons have overtaken your mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If copy and pastes have taken control of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your perfectly aware that ENVY IS A FRICKING GUY! Copy and paste this!

If you have ever walked into a wall while reading, copy and paste this into your profile while not walking and reading this.

If you have ever punched a hole through a wall, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL ANIME AND MANGA OTAKU COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE RIGHT NOW!!

If you have ever helped out a noob, copy and paste this into your profile. And good gor you.

If you can spout a random Naruto character (any character) quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would LOVE to know how Naruto and/or Bleach is going to end, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with anime, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

You know you live in 2008 when

1. You accidentally enter your password on your microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space.

4. You would rather look all over the house for the remote rather than just pushing the buttons on the t.v.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think of sending it to all your freinds.

9. And you were to busy to notice # 5

10. And you scrolled back up to see if their was a # 5

11. Now your laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Got it from 'xXKuroTenshi666Xx'

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you know someone that should be hit by a bus Copy and paste this to your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If every locker you have ever had/have hates you and wouldn't/doesn't open up for you...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.(lol. I found this on someone's profile, and I remember thinking when I was little that if I ran into the Trix rabit, I would give him some Trix)

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

-'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

A conclusion in what you reach when you get tired of thinking.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Normal people worry me.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Well you heard him

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

This is about abortion...

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but i will have a lot of it
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

HOLY BOOK OF LOG EXCERPTS:

Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Worshiper

Possible Book of Log Positions:

Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapers) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five

saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten

saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall

plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant

twenty-five saplings.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.

and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'

-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'

-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.

you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'

-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.

-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'

-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

For the log is with thee, my friend. The most holy of the forest, shall save thee. Shall be thy salvation! And yet, the log asks for nothing in return.

(Contributed by Margulide)

"Respect the sacrifice of the log that you may continue your life! You have been spared for another chance! Nurture the Life Giving Living Sap that flows within the depths of the LOG! For the log has saved countless and will save countless more!"

(Contributed by Reader-Of-Many)

The log is my savior; I shall not char.

It burneth in my stead: it protecteth me from the flames.

It confoundeth mine enemies: it covereth mine escape.

Yea though I walk through the compounds of Uchiha, I will fear no katon; for thou art with me, thy bark and thy sap they shieldeth me.

Thou provideth me with shielding from the kunai of my enemies: from their shuriken and their wrath; my gratitude is never ending.

Surely splinters and termites shall folllow me all my ninja life, but I shall remain devoted to The Log forever!

- Log Oath #23

(Contributed by Kaori)

"As the two titans clashed, the world stood at stand still. The black flame of the heretic Uchiha Madara blazing fiercely against the holy life-giving power of the Log Pope Senju Hashirama. As the ebony flame threatens to vanquish the divination of the Holy Log, it all came to naught as the Shodai Hokage drew all of his power to quench the abomination, thus ending the terror which threatened the continuity of the blessing from the holy sap."

(Contributed by Desphere)

"For as much as it hath pleased The Log of its great mercy to take unto itself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, branches to branches, trunk to trunk; in sure and certain hope of the return to eternal life, through our savior the Log, who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto its glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby it is able to subdue all things to itself. “

(Contributed by Djinn Crimsora)

"As the seventh moon cycle passed, the Holy Log Pope begged for help from the gods, and his please was justly answered. Bathed in light, Hashirama Senju took up the powers of the log, and as the light left him, he saith, "Let there be logs."'

Birth of Konoha, verse 5

The Holy Log and I

A beginners guide for the ways of the Log

This guide is for the beginning Log acolyte with a small amount of commandments and and tips to start with your training in to the ways of the Log

From the Book of the Holy Log these commandments were given to the very first Log Pope - a ninja called Woody - by the Great Tree of Life which still stands to the day in Rogugakure (Village Hidden in the Log), the epicenter of all Log believers.

Commandments

1 Thou shalt never hurt a Log purposely.

2 Thou shalt take care of the Log and the Log shalt take care of thee.

3 Every 365 Moon Cycles thou shalt make a crusade to the Great Tree and make an offering so the Log will prosper.

4 When thou commits heresy thou will be transformed to a disgraced Log and will burn Eternally in the unholy fires of Hell.

5 When thou has died and lived the ways of the Log dutifully thou shalt take place in the afterlife in the Forest of Life.

These are the Primary Commandments and you must obey them always. When your training progresses you shall learn more of them.

Nevertheless here are tips to live by the Log:

1) Always use Rice Paper. Using Log Paper is frowned upon.

2) At least pray thrice a day to the Great Tree.

3) Try, with thy utmost effort, to spread the Holy Teachings of Log.

4) When evil is committed to an Log commit justice to the heretic. ( Keep in mind that 95% of the world are disbelievers and that these rules are not used in the government system so act discretely.)

5) When you make an offering to the Great Tree always be respectful , even if the Great Tree does not answer.

6) Thy will find a companion in a Log with which thee should go everywhere, and it shalt become thy travelers Log.

7) Where Holy life sap is spilled plant a seed there so a tree may prosper there.

8) When writing the apology to the Log who saved your life name at least 5 reasons why you could not act otherwise.

9) When a log Priest or Pope is nearby greet him and the Log he carries.

10) If you follow the ways dutifully the Log Pope may grant you with some life sap of the Greet Tree itself! Drink it and may you be closer to the Tree and the Log.

11) When one of the messengers of the Tree itself is nearby bow for him for the Great Log Sage will only grace the holiest of worshipers with his advice, whether through messenger or not.

12) Embrace the Squirrel Summons as your companions if they grace you with their presence.
All in all these basic rules and tips are a great start to begin with the ways of the Log but remember there is always more to learn.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God.

Notes To Self...Of DOOM!
1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4.
7. Note Expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.
25. Train armies of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."
48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.
49. The way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a shit.
51. The Ten Steps to Dying.
a. Fall down.
b. Be rushed to hospital.
c. Not be saved.
d. Be mourned over.
e. Be buried in dirt.
f. Have your grave looted.
g. Rot.
h. Rot.
i. Rot.
j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can kill you too.
55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms.
56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM.
66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if it’s broken glass.
73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.
82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to reattach fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as mortal.
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Star by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
95. Brutally.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.
99. Gullible is written on the ceiling.
100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.

More Notes to Self of DOOM!
1. I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
2. When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!
3. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
4. If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
5. I am worse than evil... I am the author!
6. Sorry about being late...I got lost on the path of life.
7. No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?
8. There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
9. People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
10. When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
11. I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
12. When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
13. Uh...define 'normal' for me again.
14. There are three rings in marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
15. It's not incest! It's brotherly love! They're different!
16. "Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
17. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
18. "Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
19. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together.""
21. Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
20. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
22. Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
23. There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?
24. Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.
25. Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
26. I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!
27. Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?
28. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
29. There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
30. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?
31. Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.
32. Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
33. That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
34. Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules
35. …didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…
36. True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.
37. Don't treat others as you want to be treated, treat others as they treat you.
38. Therapist= The Rapist
39. Unfortunatly, Stupid people are everywhere.
40. You know how to find out your stupid?
41. When you don't know that the numbers 20 and 21 are switched
43. And that there is no 42
44. And you don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
45. Angry woman = dead man

Girls
Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

THE BLIND GIRL
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her boyfriend. He was always there for her. she said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see eveything, including her boyfiend.

Her boyfriend asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" the girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.

Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter saying..."Just take care of my eyes dear. "I'll always love you forever..."

((Meaning of Each Letter in Your Name))
A: Hot
B: Loves people
C: A good kisser
D: Makes people laugh
E: Has gorgeous eyes
F: People wild and crazy adore you
G: Very outgoing
H: Easy to fall in love with
I: Loves to smile and laugh
J: Really sweet
K: Really silly
L: Smile to die for
M: Makes dating fun
N: Can kick the shit out of you
O: Has one of the best personalities ever
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite
R: Good boyfriend/girlfriend
S: Cute
T: A very good kisser
U: Is very sexual
V: Not judgemental
W: Very broad minded
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Y: Is loved by everyone
Z: Can be funny and dumb at times