Hey all,

My bio is horrifically long, and currently made up of mostly funny quotes, some from non-fanfiction sources. If you don't want to read all of that, I suggest going straight to the bottom and working up from there, because it will take forever otherwise.

Have fun!

--tati1

NOTE: IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS A COPY OF AYIEN'S FIC WHEN BLUE MEETS GREY, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! She's lost the fic and no longer plans to continue it anyway, and I forgot to put it on Word before it vanished. It's a Star Wars/Gundam Wing crossover with a Heero/Anakin pairing. Thanks!

Quotes:

1. “Twice and twice shall he be marked;

Twice to live, and twice to die.

Once the heron, to set his path;

Twice the heron, to name him true.

Once the dragon, for remembrance lost;

Twice the dragon, for the price he must pay.” – Robert Jordan; a prophecy of the Dragon Reborn in his Wheel of Time series, book two, The Great Hunt.

2. “Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.” – Unknown.

3. “The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” – Noelie Altito.

4. “Wit is cultured insolence.” – Aristotle.

5. “Suppose you’re in a hypothetical situation…” – Steve Wechsler.

6. “Illiterate? Write for help!” – Anonymous.

7. “It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.” – S.H. Underwood.

8. “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White.

(I got the next few off some signs at a souvenir shop)

1. “Home sweet home is far from this dump.”

2. “Some days I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep.”

3. “Friends are there to hear the song in my heart and clue me into it when my memory fails.”

4. “When I get the urge to clean, I lay down until it passes.”

5. "A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.'" - Richard Pratt (I got it off of Sea Chelle; her other ones are really good too)

6. "I have PMS and a gun. EXCUSE ME. You were saying?"

7. "I can go from chick to BITCH in 3.5 seconds!"

8. "If all the world's a stage, then men need better roles."

9. "It's been lovely, but I have to SCREAM now."

10. "To love another person is to see the face of God." - Les Miserables, disc 2 on the CD

11. "God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve."

12. "I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"

13. "But Ocifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

14. "Warning: Trespassers will be shot

Warning: Survivors will be shot again."

15. "I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking."

16. "All bow your heads for the man's prayer:

I'm a man, but I can change.

If I have to.

I guess." - Red Green show, weekly, PBS

17. "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

18. "It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?"

19. "Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'"

20. "This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

21. "You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

22. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

23. "'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot."

24. "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."

25. "My goal in life is to hurt you, severely. Come here..."

26. "That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again."

27. "I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert."

28. "I hear voices, and they don't like you."

29. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

30. "If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished."

31. "This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."

32. "He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged."

33. "For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

34. "Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else."

35. "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

36. "If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!"

37. "My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

38. "I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever."

39. "How little do they see what is, who frame hasty judgments upon that which seems."

40. "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

41. "They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!"

42. "Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little."

43. "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

44. "Like in Star Trek, the guy in the red suit always gets it."

45. “I like my men young, cute and sexually ambiguous.”

46. "We're told to go on living out lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?" - Ellen DeGeneres, hosting the Emmy Awards TV Show, November 4, 2001

48. "Come away, O human child: To the waters and the wild with a Faery, hand in hand, for the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand."

49. "You must open your eyes to see, open your mouth to speak, and open you ears to hear...why is it so hard to believe you must open your heart before you can feel?"

50. "If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination." - l8rg8r123

51. "A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic." - l8rg8r123

52. "You can't be late until you show up." - l8rg8r123

53. "Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - l8rg8r123

54. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - l8rg8r123

55. "If I throw a stick, will you go away?" - l8rg8r123

56. "I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV." - l8rg8r123

57. "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague." - l8rg8r123

58. "Did you ever hear anyone say, "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?"" - Joseph Henry Jackson

59. "Assassination is the extreme form of censorship." - George Bernard Shaw, "The Rejected Statement, Part I," The Shewing-Up of Blanco Posnet, 1911

60. "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Voltaire

61. Woman's Need calls me,

As Woman's Need made me,

Her Need will I answer,

As my maker bade me. - Inscribed on the sword Need, By the Sword, by Mercedes Lackey

62. Small spider weave on a silver sleeve

Oh weave your grey web nearer

From a golden crown let your silk hang down

For lost, lost, lost is the wearer - Spindle's End, by Robin McKinley

63. The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. - Lynn Lavner

64. “In bed above or deep asleep, while greater love lies further deep. This dream must end, this world must know. We all depend on the beast below.” – Amelia Pond in Doctor Who, season 5 episode 2

65. “It came because it couldn’t stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old, and really kind, and alone? Your whole race dead, no future. What couldn’t you do then? If you were that old and that kind, and the very last…of your kind. You couldn’t just stand there and watch children cry.” – Amelia Pond in Doctor Who, season 5 episode 2

Fanfic Quotes:

1. This is Molly. Molly is my "Personal Assistant". Well, that is her title, anyway. Her job description is more like "Making sure that Sakuma Ryuichi doesn't end up dead in a puddle of his own drool". - Sakuma-san, Pianissimo Butterfly

2. Yes. I am 33 years old, and I need a babysitter. - Sakuma-san, Pianissimo Butterfly

3. "No overexerting yourself. This means keeping the things you do at a bare minimum. Oh, don’t whine—yes, you can still do the laundry! Gods, but you’re obsessive." - Kaoru to Kenshin, A Stork For Sessha

4. "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - Draco Malfoy, A Wet Tale

5. "That one's addressed to you. I knew there was no reason for a psycho to stalk me when I hang around you all the time. This is more reasonable." - Shinji to Kamio, Magic of Tennis

6. That simple meow was enough to change him from cocky little punk snarking off to his senpai into adorable fourteen-year-old who loves his kitty cat. - Magic of Tennis

7. "There is a 75 percent chance Kaidoh is lurking on the other side of the clubhouse to avoid being spotted by Echizen's cat." - Inui, Magic of Tennis

8. "Yuuta's brother." - Shinji, Magic of Tennis

9. "I’ll tell you when you’re older, Ken-kun." - Omi, Summer Dreams

10. "NO, you can NOT shower with me." - Heero to Duo, Duo's Inbox

11. "At your request, I’ve stopped suggesting to Ryuichi that he go play in traffic. I honestly didn’t know he would actually do it." - Yuki, 100 Ways

12. "I got you a houseplant as a pet. In retrospect, I should not have told you that plants like to be talked to. Do we really have to go over the concept of an “inside voice” again? I have also avoided the temptation to replace the plant with a dead one and tell you that your voice was responsible." - Yuki, 100 Ways

13. "She started adding it after I turned six and ate the dog." - Harry Potter, The Curse of Fate

14. "What do you want, freak?" the beefy man asked petulantly.

"Oh, the world, for one," Harry replied playfully. "You lot cowering at my feet. Certain people's heads on pikes. A blood bank to spontaneously open next door. Socks for Christmas. My photo album which now technically never existed full of pictures of people losing bets; Severus doing twirls in the red and gold tutu most notably. To see a random Death Eater attempt to breach the wards by running at them really fast. Quirrel to drop dead of testicle rot before I begin school and Lockhart to be mauled savagely by angry pixies. Oh, how ironic that would be." - Harry and Vernon, The Curse of Fate

15. Soon, the position as tutor to Lord Potter became known as a cursed one as no one had lasted more than a week. One man even died, though Harry steadfastly maintained he had a heart attack in the night. - The Curse of Fate

16. "I mean, he's American, and you know how they are..." - Ron Weasley, Never say let go

17. "I'LL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR GOAT LOVING BROTHER AND WHAT HIS INAPPROPRIATE CHARMS REALLY WERE!" - Petunia Dursley to Dumbledore, The Curse of Fate

18. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and the purpose of your visit," the cheery witch's voice announced to the six wizards tightly packed into the red telephone box.

"Death Eaters," Lucius said with a hint of amusement. "We're here to kill you." Dolohov had the audacity to smack him on the arm. The amusement in his voice vanished with a shocked exclamation of, "Ow! What was that for, you idiot?"

"They're never gonna let us in now!" the man replied as if it were obvious.

"O' ye of little faith," Lucius smirked at him. "I think I know the Ministry a bit better than you."

Sure enough, to the surprise of everyone except Lucius, the voice thanked them, wished them a good day and a silver badge dropped down. Dolohov picked it up in wonder and read it aloud. "Death Eaters. Here to kill you." He blinked at Lucius from behind his mask. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle." - The Curse of Fate

19. Severus Snape would not under any circumstance become a man who shrugs… even if it was beginning to look like he was the kind of person who held meaningful conversations with owls. - My Dear Boy

20. "Ah!" Ollivander exclaimed upon spotting the Malfoy patriarch. "Lucius Malfoy! Cocobolo and Ebony, dragon heartstring, fifteen inches! A very passionate wand!"

Lucius stiffened and paled.

"Yes, yes," the old man continued. "A rare creation. Within it courses the energy of desire, sexuality, ambition, adventure, even rage! A very masculine wand!"

"Do you have to say that every time I so much as pass by your shop, you old pervert!?" Lucius growled. - The Curse of Fate

21. "Don't bother," a man's voice growled, interrupting the frantic pounding. "It's charmed against intrusion."

"Well, what do you suggest then?" Minerva shot back and only silence answered. The pounding resumed. "Albus! Let us in!" A brief moment's pause. "There's chaos in the Great Hall!" Another pause. "There are Weasleys loose in the dungeons!" No response. "The house-elves have gone on strike!" Still no response. "They're getting drunk and turning each other into llamas!"

A quiet chuckle from her companion. "Llamas?"

"Be quiet, Severus!" she snapped angrily. The headmaster was in for it when she finally got in there. "I need to talk to you, damn it! Let me in!" Oh boy, was he in for it. She was swearing now.

"Let him pout." Severus countered with a verbal shrug. "I've got a potion that'll melt the door off it's hinges, wards and all."

Fawkes let out an angry squawk and Albus' head shot up. "No!" he yelled frantically. "That door was charmed and warded by Godric Gryffindor himself!" If he let Severus melt it, he'd be bird food! - The Curse of Fate

22. "I’ve watched you play more hours of Final Fantasy than I think is healthy. And I’m sorry I offended you. Of course the logical thing to do after saving the world and losing your imaginary boyfriend is to become a pop star." - Yuki, 100 Ways

23. "I’m slowly growing accustomed to the things that follow you home. Like Hiro. Seriously, why can’t you have dork recess at his place?" - Yuki, 100 Ways

24. "When I’m bored, I no longer write “Deceased” across random articles of your fan mail and send it back. Surprising to find out that your fan base knows how to read." - Yuki, 100 Ways

25. "Purikura also adorns my lighter. Reminds me of why I need to continue smoking and shorten my lifespan, since I seem to be stuck with you." - Yuki, 100 Ways

26. "In my spare time, I follow the rumors posted about you on the Internet. I also start them. Incidentally, the next time a photographer asks you to show him your tail, it might not be a figure of speech." - Yuki, 100 Ways

27. "You are, without a doubt, the worst driver in the entire United States. Why we haven't been killed is beyond me. You've run three red lights, stripped your gears six times, and popped the clutch, unintentionally, I might add, twice, and we've driven less than a mile. I have no intention of dying on some godforsaken highway in the middle of Bumfuck, Arizona, because you can't drive a truck. Either let me out and I'll hitchhike to the diner, or you let me drive. There is no negotiation on this issue." - Hary to Snape, Snape: The Home Fries Nazi

28. He snorted silently at the use of the word conform. As if "conform to mine" wasn't Snape for "Fuck you, there's yoghurt or nothing." - Snape: The Home Fries Nazi

29. When Harry ventured a question about why film noir, Snape replied, "It is visually stunning and inevitably several people get killed, if not killed then betrayed, and if they aren't dead by the end, they wish they were."

"Sort of like the last thirty years of your life?"

"Exactly, Mr. Potter." Snape raised the eyebrow. "Do you expect me to watch Disney films?"

"Bambi's mother gets killed."

"Good. I dislike venison." - Snape: The Home Fries Nazi

30. “Yeah, well, fighting is pretty fun, but sex is better. They both relieve tension, but sex doesn’t leave you with quite so many cuts and bruises.” Duo grinned. “Unless he’s feeling really energetic or you’ve forgotten to make sure he’s completely unarmed.” - Duo talking about Heero, Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest

31. Heero walked around the animal, looking it over. Then he stopped right in front of the horse’s nose, caught it by the bridle and turned its head a little to one side so he could look directly into one of its large brown eyes. “Let’s have an understanding,” he said. “You’re the horse; I’m the rider. I’m in charge. You do what I say without any nonsense and we’ll get along just great. If not, we may have to have a discussion.” - Heero to his horse, Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest

32. In shock, Draco curled in on himself, watching through someone else’s eyes as Harry was taken away. - Draco's Boy

33. “Stop calling me ‘Sir’,” Heero muttered. “I recognize that you all think I’m great. Just use my name.” - Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest

34. "With signs on our fronts that say 'Gundam Pilot: Shoot Here For Maximum Blood Loss'." - Duo, Lost in Shadow

35. "Ah, don't sweat it. We've survived OZ, Rome-Feller, and Mariemaia; how much harm could it possibly do?"

"We'll be certain and carve that on your tombstone," interjected Wufei. - Wufei and Duo, on the subject of Duo popping his back, Lost in Shadow

36. The twins seemed to adopt Harry as either a little brother or a pet. Harry wasn't sure which. - The Curse of Fate

37. "Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?"

Heero frowned. "Do you want the information or not?" - Magicians of Gundam Wing

38. "By the way, Vice Minister Darlian is on her way to L1. She may be there already. She seems to have an uncanny knack for figuring out where you are. That day you guys were missing, she barged into my office insisting you were dead because she couldn’t ‘feel’ you. She’s got some kind of built in Heero Sensor Tracking System." - Magicians of Gundam Wing

39. Duo leered suggestively at Heero. "Hey Heero, interested in a trying it with a girl again? I promise not to tell Relena."

Heero paled. "Don’t say that name. She’ll hear you." - Gundam Wing in the Wild Wild West

40. Severus turned away from the table with a parting, "I'm going to murder something cute and fuzzy, drain it of all blood and hang its carcass outside the Gryffindor common room."

"Severus!" Minerva exclaimed, causing him to pause and look back. With a small smile, she murmured softly, "Hufflepuff, if you please." - The Curse of Fate

41. The urgency of the situation had been lost on Omi somewhere between 'Ken-kun's going to kill you' and 'Do you prefer English or Green tea, Aya-kun?' - Swap Meet

42. "OMI!" Aya yelled, gripping the couch while forcing himself not to strangle his superior. That would not look good on the job resume. - Swap Meet

43. "Snape has brought me back from the dead and is holding me prisoner in his house. Sounds mad, I know, but that's Snape for you. Please hurry, I'm afraid for my life. Or rather, my death. Not to mention my bottom. Just hurry. - Sirius Black" - Die A Little

44. Only Severus would come as close as he ever would to saying ‘I love you’ while glaring at the other person as if they were guilty of something. - Shadows Within the Light

45. Gryffindors were clueless. Utterly clueless. They should all be required by law to marry Slytherins -- because without someone with some sense of self-preservation to look after them they'd never survive alone in the world. - The Marriage Stone

46. Yesterday, Lucius would have been in precisely the same frame of mind as every other Death Eater, which was, if they’d had Potter in their power, they’d not so much present him to Voldemort with a “Look what I have brought for you, Master,” as much as shove him at the madman with a “Take him and shut UP, for fuck’s sake!” - Not So Black Or White

47. Voldemort will not be pleased...Voldemort can kiss his pale aristocratic arse. - Not So Black Or White

48. And no, we didn’t continually drop him on his head. It was only once, and Padfoot and I caught him halfway down anyway. - Remus Lupin, Harry's Sanity

49. "I don't know how to tell you this mate, but you're a homicidal, insane teenager with magical powers that make Dumbledore jealous." - Seamus Finnigan, Harry's Sanity

50. “I’m not killing old McGonagall!” said Lucius. “I had a crush on her in third- It’s none of your business, Snape, get away from her!” He quickly shielded her with his body and shooed the slimy potions master away. - Broken Angel

51. Discipline and strict routines were all the boy would need. That was how he was raised during his teenage years, and he had turned out just fine. - Darth Vader, Force Bond 2: Threat

52. "Personally," Trowa continued, "I'm still trying to fit Heero Yuy having sex into my view of the world, I'll deal with the Treize Kushrenada angle later." - 13x1

53. Yugi sniffed. “Yami has a tendency of crushing peoples’ minds when they threaten me, or they die gory deaths,” Yugi stated dryly. “I don’t really believe he’s in any position to criticize anything you do.” - Yugi to Seto, Vacation Blues

54. There are times when the impossible happens. Making Kaiba laugh could be counted among them. - Vacation Blues

55. Dumbledore stepped out of the fireplace. He adjusted the belt to his red night robe trimmed in white fur and righted the matching hat on his head.

Unable to resist, Harry cocked his head to the side and said in his most childish voice, "Santa?" - The Curse of Fate

56. "...I've been sneaking off because I'm running my own personal army in a bid to take over the magical world and I haven't told you because you're an innocent child and I would not take that away from you for the world. I blame the 'pretty' on my father and I have fangs because I'm a vampire."

Harry watched in amusement as Hermione's eyes grew to the size of saucers. Reaching across the small table, he gently grasped her chin and closed her mouth. - The Curse of Fate

57. "BOOGA BOOGA!" Sirius shouted, leaping up from behind the sofa and pointing a neon green wand at him.

Nothing happened.

Severus blinked. "Black, what the hell..?"

"Booga!" squeaked his left shoe.

"Booga!" followed his right.

Severus glared. Sirius ran.

It was quite the sight to see. On par with the chase a little over a year before involving an enraged Malfoy and the very same Sirius Black, who seemed to have a knack for childishness and pissing off powerful individuals. Sirius ran around the room, leaping over furniture and cackling wildly. Severus chased after him, shooting relatively mild jinxes at the laughing man, his shoes squeaking "Booga!" cutely with every step. - The Curse of Fate

58. For the first time in ages, Severus felt the urge to curl up in a ball and sob his little black heart out. - The Curse of Fate

59. Pansy had drawn Theo, Dudley and Ron into a game of hide and seek, of all things. Dudley was hiding in a linen closet, Ron was under a bench in the small chapel off the side of the house and Theo was wandering lost in a secret passage unable to find the exit. Pansy was casually filing her nails and wondering how long it would take them to realize she wasn't going to look for them. - The Curse of Fate

60. But they did say if all else failed in parenting, there was always bribery. - Vader considering Luke, Force Bond: Family (Chapter 3)

61. Vader hesitated for a moment...The Emperor seemed to be implying he and his son were prone to drama-filled emotional meltdowns. It was hard to know whether to take it as an insult or simply accept it as the unfortunate truth. - Force Bond: Family (Chapter 4)

62. Snape snorted again, gracefully settling himself on the seat next to Harry. “Gentlemen,” he said smoothly, “while under the care of his relatives Harry lived in a cupboard under the stairs and was degraded on a daily basis. While at Hogwarts, this year alone he was turned into a child, physically assaulted by a friend, nearly drowned, forced to consume potions against his will, set on fire, and forced to face the Dark Lord. Harry has just told you that while under the care of Mr. Malfoy he successfully defeated the Dark Lord, gained a pet, spent quality time with a mother figure, and spent the afternoon consuming cookies and chocolate.” He raised an eyebrow, smiling sardonically. “Precisely which example seems deleterious to Mr. Potter’s well being?” - A Change In Perspective (Chapter 15)

63. House’s typical ‘it’s here therefore I deserve it’ response to all new shiny things promptly asserted itself. - A Conspiracy of Kindness (Chapter 3)

64. "You know what’s really scary? The most brilliant mind in the country lives on take-out, peanut butter, and vending machine fodder." - Wilson talking about House, A Conspiracy of Kindness (Chapter 10)

65. Perhaps I could start my own magazine, Vader thought. Sith parenting - a guide. What to do when your master wishes your son dead. How to fit in fatherhood with your Sith lifestyle. - Force Bond 2: Threat (Chapter 7)

66. “I am sorry!” Draco cried pitifully. “It wasn't even my idea! It was Harry's! I just wanted to cuddle!” - Draco explaining why he explored his kinky side with Harry, Duel of Shame (Chapter 1)

67. “Harry, you can't – absolutely can't - challenge a Dark Wizard to a duel every time your computer crashes and you lose your porn collection,” she whispered furiously. “You need to start backing up your hard-drive. I really mean it this time.” - Hermione to Harry, Duel of Shame (Chapter 1)

68. "Stop looking at me like that. It makes me want to give you a cookie." - Draco to Harry, A Change In Perspective (Chapter 12)

69. "Kenshin’s not dangerous.”

Kenshin scratched his head and considered that statement. “Miss Kaoru, that is incorrect. I am dangerous, but not to you, your family, your students, most of Tokyo…”

“Kenshin, you’re not helping.” - Three Daughters (Chapter 7)

70. How could he, who always thought rape was a heinous crime only committed by mentally unstable, antisocial perverts, have done such a thing...? - Sasuke, who in fact is a mentally unstable, antisocial pervert in Shirohane's fics, Virgin Road (Chapter 2)

71. "You gave up your dreams for him, a child terrorist without even a real name." - Duo talking to Trieze about Heero, 13x1 (Chapter 5)

72. “I was an acrobat," said Trowa. “I also trained the lions.”

“Dude, you wore spots, stripes and little yellow stars. You used make-up. Face it, you were a clown.” Duo chomped down on a chicken stripe before swallowing. “And you let your crazy sister throw sharp pointy objects at vulnerable parts of your body. So maybe you were a suicidal clown. That’s a redeemable quality.” - Just Another Perfect Soldier (Chapter 10)

73. “If I ever say yes to that man, promise you will shoot me.”

The request had been directed at Quatre, who frowned.

“I believe in pacifism, Harry.”

The dark-haired wizard shot him a disbelieving look, his eyes glancing down at the place on Quatre’s hip where he knew the blond kept his 9mm.

“I believe you’re in the wrong profession then.”

Quatre let out a small scowl, his brows dipping as Harry stalked forward silently. The blond wizard turned to his boyfriend.

“Why does everyone say that?”

Trowa wisely kept quiet. - Just Another Perfect Soldier (Chapter 13)

74. Harry heard muttering between the two other men on the bed. He looked at them to see what the hold up was and found them playing Rock Paper Scissors. "Excuse me but what the -bleep- are you doing?"

They looked at him and blushed, "We can't decide who should top first. So we decided to do it the manly way. Best two out of three." - Harry to Snape and Draco, Dear Penthouse (Chapter 2 at adultfanfiction)

75. Severus had felt rather outraged on behalf of his fictitious self. - Elementary Calculations (Chapter 9)

76. I am a fully trained wizard, very proficient in Dark Arts and their defense. I am not afraid of an eleven year old. A healthy dose of caution never hurt anyone. - Snape, reassuring himself that Harry won't hurt him, Elementary Calculations (Chapter 11)

77. "I have lost my wallet. I have lost my passport. I have lost my faith in the human race." - Harry, River of Dreams (Chapter 7)

78. He didn’t give up; he just became a paranoid lunatic. Now I feel so much better. - Snape, pondering Moody, River of Dreams (Chapter 20)

79. The boy stopped immediately, trying to look up at him without actually looking at him, more like a cowed dog than a boy. - A description of little boy Harry, An Act of Kindness (Chapter 1)

80. Yes, thingy. I am the god of description, I know, I know. Pikachu mused to himself. Bow down before me, weaklings. - No No Pokeball (Chapter 8)

81. “Kiss my not so shiny butt, jerk,” he muttered. “On second thought, that’s disgusting and an offence to my posterior. Go kiss a fish instead.” - No No Pokeball (Chapter 14)

82. They divide up their population in such a way that one fourth is automatically mistrusted from the time they are eleven, then wonder why the Slytherins would join someone set on taking the place over. - Elementary Calculations (Chapter 7)

83. “I remember being in my animagus form and you coming over, and then I remember you woke me up in the forest and…hey, you broke my arm!” - Sirius to Harry, Harry Potter and the Hero's Path (Chapter 17)

84. "Apparently up until about three thousand years ago when Dragons were much more prolific, their attraction to Wizarding magic led to quite a bit of interspecies breeding.”

“It’s frightening to think that’s even physically possible,” Draco said with a grimace.

Harry couldn’t stop himself, “Well can you imagine trying to say no?” - Radix Acclaro (Chapter 2)

85. Harry raised his eyebrows. “If people really think I’ve gone Dark just because I quit the Quidditch team, then you’re asking the wrong person if they’re crazy, Malfoy,” he said. - Serpens Armarum (Chapter 15)

86. "Sacrificial lamb," Ochi said, adjusting his glasses as he always did when making a pronouncement. He came to stand by Isumi's side, wearing a look Isumi had never seen on his face. It took a moment for him to place it. Curiosity. Ochi was actually curious about someone else. It was a remarkable step in his social development. - Brightly Burning (Chapter 5)

87. "Ashiwara is a solid player," Isumi felt compelled to say. "He actually likes playing Touya Akira."

"He's a glutton for punishment," Ochi replied a bit dryly. "He would probably enjoy being beaten with a stick if it made someone else happy." Was that a sense of humor showing? Isumi couldn't believe it. - Brightly Burning (Chapter 5)

88. Isumi had to repress a sigh. The older pro was talking like Saeki actually had a chance of beating Touya. Hope did spring eternal, especially if Ashiwara was around. - Brightly Burning (Chapter 5)

89. Amano tried to phrase it delicately. Most pros would have delighted in the possibility of Touya being blind sided, but Ashiwara had always been close to him and would probably try to protect him. "Since this is only a minor event, I think it'd be more interesting for them both to meet naturally, with no pre-conceived notions."

Ashiwara looked a bit like a landed fish. "But-"

"I think the next game is going to be a good one, but we shouldn't interfere with what's going to happen."

Ashiwara opened his mouth, shut it, then opened it again as he searched for his voice. "Isn't that a bit mean?" he asked finally. - Brightly Burning (Chapter 5)

90. “The Chinese Princess,” he read aloud. “Once upon a time…”

Half an hour later, when Harry was giving the story its second run through of the night, Neville poked his head round the curtains. He saw Harry sitting cross-legged, with a book in his lap and a trio of enraptured baby Black Desert Cobras on his left knee.

“I don’t think I want to know,” he said faintly. “Goodnight Harry. See you tomorrow.”

And he pulled his head back. Through the thick material, Harry saw his colours cross the room, and saw the colours of Ron, Seamus and Dean turn to him.

“What’s he doing?” Harry heard Ron ask.

“I think he’s reading them fairy stories,” Neville said dazedly.

There was a long pause. “Well,” Seamus said after a while. “So much for Parselmouths being evil.”

Harry grinned, and kept reading. - Serpens Armarum (Chapter 19)

91. "There is nothing I would rather do than live with you in the middle of nowhere with some of the most dangerous creatures to wander the earth basically on the front step." - Harry to Charlie, A DragonSized Problem

92. "It is likely Echizen has considered the benefits. He gets both a thoughtful and passionate lover, a strong martial-arts trained protector, as well as an unlimited supply of free sushi." - Echizen/Taka pairing, Burning Love

93. “Sometimes bravery is a quiet voice asking for help, when he doesn’t think he’ll receive it.” - Faint Hearted (Chapter 13)

94. His doctrine was simple, but subtle. By holding the enemy leadership directly accountable for their wars, by killing them first, he was ensuring that an enemy country would only start wars that the leaders were personally willing to die for. Ursura had seen many that got drunk on power and viewed the ninja beneath them as expendable.

Naruto was turning that upside down. He was viewing the lives of the foot soldiers, of the individual ninja, as more precious than the lives of the leaders. Something in that appealed to Ursura, something in that made her want to believe in the kid. - Spying no Jutsu (Chapter 12)

95. "...you’ll have to go through a lie detector first though…” (Duo)

“But this is a vid-phone… it won’t work through a vid-phone.” (Zechs)

“Trust me this one’ll work, this one’s got blonde hair, blue eyes and an uncanny knack for being able to tall when someone’s lying to him, in case you need another clue by the way it answers to Quatre Winner.” (Duo) - Duo uses Quatre to see if Zechs is lying, 13x1 (Chapter 4)

96. I’ve resisted the urge to slip tranquilizers in your drink for the last 437 days. - 100 Ways (Chapter 2)

97. I’ve spent precious extra minutes of my life not only leaving notes, but clarifying them. I now write “for a walk” or “to the market” after “gone.” Why have you still not learned when I’m kidding? I thought it was pretty funny that one time I added “forever.” - 100 Ways (Chapter 2)

98. “For the next 72 hours,” Itachi intoned, “I will slap you with this trout.” - Spying no Jutsu (Chapter 3)

99. ...a severed teddy bear’s head turned up in the morning post. - Kill Harry Potter (or the teddy bear gets it) (one-shot)

100. The little voice in the back of his head which preached the glorious message of self-preservation was screaming that provoking and mocking an internationally-acclaimed contract killer was stupid to the point of actual lunacy… but then, Wolf was in the SAS. He was paid not to listen to that little voice. - Spies, Lies and Confusion (an Alex Rider fanfic)

101. Snape was to education what Voldemort was to life insurance. - A Mistaken Sorting (Chapter 2)

102. "You took me hostage to save him? You could have just made an appointment." - Heero's doctor complaining, Gifts in Return (Chapter 1)

103. "At a time like this, it would be nice to have to support of my friends, but no, nobody cares that my boyfriend makes a nuclear warhead look like a Roman candle." - Duo complaining about Heero, Crashed (Chapter 2)

104. “That he tried to force you is nothing but a stain upon his own soul, and no fault of yours.” - in reference to attempted rape, Little Lord of the Home: Teaser (Chapter 5)

105. She realized that was just his ‘thinking’ expression. Evidently he found it painful. - Hinata contemplating Naruto, Team 8 (Chapter 4)

106. “Mother...” Hermione groaned, “You don't understand. This is Harry. He isn't capable of entering a potentially dangerous situation and not having it become the worst-case-scenario." - Protecting Family, (Chapter 6)

107. “There is one thing I must know,” Spock said, as he stood with quiet intensity across from his alternate self.

“Then you may inquire, although I cannot guarantee I will answer,” the older half-Vulcan replied.

“Romulus was to be destroyed because its sun was going supernova. Correct?”

“That is correct, yes.”

“And your plan was to prevent this by injecting red matter into the supernova before it could destroy the planet. Also correct?”

“Indeed.”

“May I ask how you intended for Romulus to then survive without its sun?”

“…No.” - Brain Matter (Chapter 10)

108. Harry: “Don’t you two have something better to do? Like, conquering Europe or something?”

Voldmort smirked, and looked ready to say something witty and probably mildly insulting, but then paused. His eyes widened. “I knew we forgot something.” - Prince of the Dark Kingdom (Chapter 102)

109. “I do understand,” Draco answered softly. “But I think you are taking on her distress. She is an oblivious teenager and doesn’t grasp what actually could happen. You do. She’s you, walking into the forest with a basket in her hand, and you are desperately trying to stop her.” - Indago:3, by LdDurham (Chapter 18)

110. “Hey you bastard!” Ed shouted. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”

The bastard ignored him. (Or perhaps misunderstood, since Ed was at least half a foot shorter then him.) - The Truth Decays (Chapter 1)

111. It was his place to witness Hell one last time before the dawn of a new era. - Alastor Moody, Desperate Measures (Chapter 16)

112. “Until the law is repealed, the Malfoys have promised that the Weasleys will live just as miserably as the children they have condemned.” - an explanation for the Malfoy-Weasley feud as told in Desperate Measures (Chapter 21)

113. “You can say it, Hermione,” Harry said with an amused snort. “The day Harry lost it and destroyed the Hufflepuff table. You know, I’m still shocked they were able to replace it by dinner. I mean, where exactly do you find a spare table that size?” - Desperate Measures (Chapter 23)

114. "Kenshin..." Hiko said slowly. "Are you asking permission to haunt me?"

Kenshin opened his mouth, and then snapped it closed with a startled expression. "I never really though of it like that." - Only the Beginning (Chapter 13)

115. By the time they reached the tower, Naruto was nursing one hell of a headache. Between the other teams, the traps that had been set, and the normal forest hazards, less than a third of the clones made it through. The problem was random bits of memory that Naruto was constantly bombarded with as his clones were dispelled in an amazing variety of ways.

His wince was particularly painful when he received the memories of the idiot that expired trying to give Sabaku no Gaara a noogie. He had no idea you could do that with sand, and it looked really painful...

On the other hand, he chuckled when he learned of the one that died mooning Neji. But the way he'd gone after the Hinata-clone as well was a little disturbing. Maybe he could tell it really wasn't his cousin and resented the deception. Genius or not, he had no sense of humor whatsoever. - Team 8 (Chapter 14)

116. ...they both jumped as Shino dropped his folder on the floor. Shino quickly bent over and began gathering his papers, shoving them haphazardly into the folder. When he straightened up, Kurenai thought she noticed a slight tremor in his hands...

"Toads are incredibly voracious insectivores," Shino explained, "capable of consuming a significant portion of their own body mass in a single night. If I attempted to use my kikai jutsu around them, I would stand to lose significant portions of my colonies in short order. Even if I were to defeat you, I would be effectively crippled in the process."

"Oh," Naruto said.

"However, you should not let that be your sole decision criterion," Shino concluded. "As this should remain between you and Kurenai-sensei, I will bid you both good evening."

With that, Shino left, and Kurenai wondered if it was her imagination or he was walking a little faster than usual...

Naruto shook his head. "No way am I signing that scroll now," he declared.

Kurenai merely raised an eyebrow and awaited his explanation.

"The old pervert was showing off when he demonstrated the technique," Naruto began. "Some of those toads are really big. I wouldn't dare try using them when we're on a mission – one of them might eat Shino, just to get all his bugs."

Kurenai blinked. "I see," she said. - Team 8 (Chapter 16)

117. "I could make you beat yourself unconscious with your fan," Shikamaru said with a sigh, "but that would be far too troublesome. I give up."

Shikamaru released his shadow from Temari, turned, and ambled back toward the stairs. Naruto thought he could hear a cricket chirping somewhere. - Team 8 (Chapter 17)

118. "Uh…anyway, do you happen to know where they keep the arms and things they take off of patients? I sort of need mine back." Ed said.

"Is there a problem?" the bandanna man asked.

"Yeah," Ed said. "I'm pretty sure I came in here with two arms. I'd like to leave with two...I've got no reason to hang around a crappy hospital."

"I could give you one," the bandanna man said, looming.

"Know what?" Ed said. "The whole scary glare thing is wasted on me, so make your point or tell her to give me back my arm. It shouldn't be too hard to find. It's the same size as this one but made out of metal," Ed finished, waving his left had. "You know, met-al?" - Edward being reasonable, The Truth Decays (Chapter 4)

119. "Just as impossible as fighting against fate," Naruto said as he closed in again, "Just as impossible as fighting a Jyuuken user hand to hand." - Naruto beating the crap out of Neji, Team 8 (Chapter 16)

120. Enemy ninjas are not required to fill out any bureaucratic forms before they kill you. We are admittedly quite impressed that you managed to convince them of this, though. - Things Team Nineteen Are No Longer Allowed To Do (Chapter 8)

121. "No, Uchiha. Your next step is to back off my cousin."

"At least I'm not the one who tried to kill her," Sasuke pointed out with a smirk. Because really, what could the Hyuuga asshole say to that?

"Goddammit, will people stop rubbing that in my face already?" - The Socially Unacceptable Courtship of Hyuuga Hinata (Chapter 1)